After everything, We're still meant for each other
by Fallenangelqueen
Summary: SEQUEL A year later, Kendall & Logan are doing great, until Kendall starts falling sick. What's wrong with Kendall? Will it ruin Logan & Kendall's relationship?
1. Chapter 1

**Thats right! IM BACK!**

**AND...i HAD to write this sequel! :) **

**Along the way in this story, you can send me some ideas and I'll see how I can use them. :) **

**OK! let's see how this works out :)**

_**This story starts a year after our last couple, James and Carlos, have married and ended up happily together...**_

Kendall moaned and panted as he pulled out of his lover, rolling onto his back and sighing in bliss. Logan smiled and curled up next to his boyfriend. He traced circles all over Kendall's chest and smiled.

Kendall and Logan had been together for nearly a year and a half now, and they couldn't be happier. The band was still ongoing, and they went in as many times as they could to work with their boss. Their two other band mates, Carlos and James, were doing good with their three babies, the twins nearly three years old and the youngest one was about to turn one. They all still lived in the Palmwoods, Kendall and Logan staying in 2J with Katie and Mama Knight.

Kendall loved life.

He kissed Logan and sighed happily, gazing gently into his boyfriend's eyes.

"I love you."

Logan smiled and pushed Kendall's bangs away from his eyes, caressing his cheek and pressing their lips together.

"I love you,too."

Kendall smiled and lifted Logan to straddle him. Logan laughed and tugged the blanket's around him, suddenly growing shy as his boyfriend ran his fingers up his thighs.

"I love you...so much." Kendall smiled as Logan placed his hands on Kendall's chest and ran them down, before he leaned over, laying on his boyfriend. Kendall yawned and looked at his bedside clock. He chuckled and ran his fingers through Logan's hair.

"I think it's time to head to bed, sweetheart." He looked back at Logan, to see his beautiful angel sleeping, exhaling quietly and twitching his nose, like a little rabbit. Kendall smiled and kissed the top of Logan's head, brushing his fingers through the wavy spikes. He pulled the blanket over them, and put his arms behind his head.

Kendall truly loved life at the moment, but...he frowned. But it felt like, like something was missing. He didn't know what it was but he tried to press any thing that didn't matter aside, because he already fucked up once in this relationship, and he wasn't going to let that happen again.

**XXXXXXX**

When Kendall woke up the next morning, Logan was already up and in the shower. He smiled and stood, yawning and heading towards the shower himself. He climbed in with Logan, who jumped a little when the shower curtain was pulled back, but he was getting used to it. He smiled when Kendall pressed their bodies together, running shampoo over them both. Logan smiled at the crazy warmth of the shower. He leaned his head back on Kendall's shoulder.

"God, I love it."

"Love what?" Kendall chuckled. Logan groaned when he felt that wonderful column of flesh rub against his backside, and Kendall chuckled. Loga n gasped when he was lifted, Kendall gripping his hips and pressing them into the tiled wall of the shower. Kendall spread Logan's legs, watching the shampoo and soap running down between Logan's cheeks. He grinned to himself and took his hard cokc, pressing in to Logan. He pushed in, getting a ncie moan out of Logan. They rocked, moaned, panted, and screamed as they finished their lovemaking in the shower, then climbed out. Logan groaned, grabbing his legs as he climbed out of the shower.

"Jeez, next time warn me." He groaned. Kendall chuckled, running a towel over his boyfriend, drying his boyfriend for him. He wrapped the towel around Logan before doing the same to himself.

"Sorry, next time, I promise." He chuckled and sytarted blowdrying his hair. He hurried and let Logan get ready as he walked out and slipped a pair of skinny jeans, a grey t-shirt and a plaid button up over it. He slipped on some Vans as Logan came out of the bathroom, dressed in nothing but his towel. Kendall licked his lips, hoping Logan didn't notice.

Logan dropped his towel and went to grab some underwear, but when he bent over, he turned quickly and found Kendall staring.

"Stop staring at my ass."

Kendall chuckled.

"Sorry baby, your just so cute."

Logan rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. I swear, one day, I'M gonna get the chance to be top."

"In your dreams." Kendall laughed, earning a glare from his boyfriend, and he ran from the room before Logan could throw something at stepped out into the kitchen to find his mom packing a small lunch basket and her purse.

"Hey mom."

"Morning, Kendall." She said, smiling at him. Katie came out from her room, frowning at Kendall. Kendall laughed at her face.

"What's wrong, lil sis?"

"could you guys please not have sex in the shower when we're here? You guys do get that that bathroom echoes, right?"

Kendall's whole face went red and he looked towards his mom, to see her frowning at Katie.

"Okay, thanks for the explicit topic, Katie, but Kendall she does have a point. You could stop doing that when we're here, because I'm pretty sure we don't wanna hear it." Kendall nodded and his mom sighed.

"I love the fact the you guys are finally together, but sometimes I wished I didn;t hear how much you guys love each other." She chuckled.

_"Mom."_ Kendall groaned. She laughed again and picked up the picnic basket.

"Okay, I'm off to spend some girl time with friends." She shut the door behind her and Kendall turned to Katie, who was apparently still mad.

"Chill yourself, little sister. No need to get your panties up in a twist." Katie crossed her arms.

"Well, I don't wanna wake up to hear my brother fucking his boyfriend." Kendall frowned.

"watch your languae, and when you're older, you'll understand why we have sex so often."

Katie shook her head.

"I probably won't."

Katie plopped down on the couch, and reached for the TV remote. Kendall rolled his eyes and went to the kitchen, pulling out two bowls and making two bowls of Frosted Flakes cereal for him and Logan, who came out of the bedroom a few minutes later. he was on his cell phone, and from the pained look on his face and the small distance he was holding his phone from his ear, it was obvious he was on the phone with their enraged boss.

"What?-G-gustavo? I d-don't I don't understand what you s-AH!"

Logan dropped his cell phone, as his boss's voice exploded through the speaker, so loud Kendall could hear it. everyone froze as Gustavo screamed.

"DOG! JUST GET OVER HERE AND FIX IT!"

and the line went dead. Logan looked pale as he picked up his phone and sat down next to Kendall, who was laughing his head off.

"So what's going on with you?" Logan groaned and started eating his cereal.

"Gustavo broken his new copier and the exhaust vent again, so paper is flying everywhere and the vent is blowing air hard. He needs me to come fix it, because he did the same thing I did last time and now it's broken even worse beyond repair." Logan looked at his cereal before bursting out in hysterics. Kendall couldn't help but laugh with him.

"W-why a-are we laughing?" He panted. Logan wiped his eyes and chuckled.

"I wonder how Kelly puts up with him. The man screams everything he says, sits around and does nothing but write songs, and breaks things without even trying."

"I wonder how _his mom_ put up with him." They both started laughign again and Logan stood, putting his empty bowl in the sink.

"okay, I'm heading out."

"Ah, man. Carlos was coming over today! We haven't seen him in a week or so!" Kendall stood and followed his boyfriend to the door. Logan groaned.

"Damn it. I really wanted to ask him something,too. I guess I can just text him." Logan opened the door and almost got hit in the face by a flying rattle. He ducked it and it went straight into Kendall's forehead. Kendall frowned and rubbed his head as the little three year old cooed and laughed at him.

"Kin-Doll!"

"Sorry, guys she's really energetic." Carlos smiled and leaned down to pick up the rattle as Veronica toddled inside, followed by Drake, who fell down on his bum before standing and following her. Kendall and Logan laughed as they chased each other around and Logan turned to Carlos.

"sorry, bud I gotta go. See ya later!" He was about to run out the door but Kendall grabbed him and pulled him back.

"Your forgetting something."

"Forgetting something? i have my keys, my wallet, my phone what am I- Oh." He blushed and leaned forward to plant a kiss on Kendall's lips, before turning and leaving again. Kendall shut the door and began laughing as Katie frowned and stood up, walking past everybody and out the door. She didn't like babies, well, not noisy ones.

Carlos laughed and sat down, watching his three year olds run around.

"So how are things?" Carlos smiled as he unbuckled Nathaniel from his baby carrier and bounced the gurgling baby in his lap.

"good, I guess." Kendall smiled and sat down on the couch, leanign down and scooping up Veronica. He gave her a raspberry on her cheek, making her burst out in hysterics before he set her down and she ran over to twist the knobs on the hockey dome game with her brother.

"Good? Hm. Good, isn't good after all."

Kendall looked at Carlos with a frown. Carlos laughed.

"I'm a freaking mother, Kendall, I think I know the difference between 'good' and 'good'."

Kendall shook his head, a little confused at his friend,before he turned to look at the kids.

"Soooo..."

"Haha i know."

"It's just getting harder to find things to talk about." Kendall laughed, before smiling and looking at his, now very mature friend. He was amazed on how much his friend had matured, and he was amazed how Carlos was able to keep up with his kids.

"So, where's James?"

"Haha he's out buying some groceries, and some things for Veronica and Nathaniel. Veronica's summer clothes were too small, and summer is coming up soon. It was the beginning of March, and it was already pretty warm in L.A.

"So, you guys doing good? James isn't-"

"Yes, we're doing fine. I know James, Kendall." Carlos said a little seriously. Kendall blushed.

"Sorry."

"It's okay. I understand."

Kendall turned and saw that Veronica and Drake were now sitting on the floor, crawling around and messing with each other's feet. He smiled at how cute they were, and his heart ached suddenly. He frowned and turned away, looking at Carlos as he pulled out a bottle of formula. Kendall suddenly piped up.

"C-Can I?" He blushed and watched Carlos give him a shocked look, before he smiled and gently handed Nathaniel to Kendall.

"You know how to burp babies, right?"

"I think so..." kendall held the bottle to Nathaniel's lips, and watched him suck the bottle. It was adorable, and he burped the baby without a problem.

"haha your a natural mother!" Carlos laughed as Kendall was about to hand him back, but the sudden out cry from Veronica made them jump.

"Mom-e!" She cried as she ran over to her mother. Carlos scooped her up and gasped as he saw the red-already forming- bruise on her forehead.

"Mom-E!" she sobbed and rubbed her eyes as Carlos frowned at Drake, who sat there and looked guiltily at his shoes. Carlos kissed Veronica's head and rubbed her bruise.

"It's okay, Ronny. I'm sure it was an accident." He looked at Drake, and motioned for him to come over. Drake waddled over, rubbing at his eyes. He was already crying whencarlos gently pulled the twins close.

"Drake, apologize."

Drake rubbed his eyes and looked away.

"Mom-E, I don't mean to." He whimpered and Carlos kissed his son's forehead.

"I know, but you still have to say your sorry."

Kendall watched them intently, loving how Drake and Veronica were so nice to each other.

"I sowwy, Veeronika." Drake said. Veronica nodded and rubbed her own eyes, leaning over to plant a kiss on her brother's head. Carlos smiled and hugged his daughter, before setting her down on the floor so she could run around.

"How do you put up with so much chaos?" Kendall laughed, gently bouncing the sleepy Nathaniel. Carlos sighed and shrugged, pulling out his phone as it vibrated.

"I don't know, maybe I'm okay with it, because i'm so energetic myself." Kendall nodded and placed the sleeping Nathaniel back in his carrier.

"Hey is it okay if Dak comes over and picks up Drake? It's his week to take him."

"yea sure."

"Mom-E, I turstiy!" Drake cried, running over and placing his hands on Carlos's knees.

"turstiy?" Kendall raised an eyebrow and picked up Veronica, rocking her in his arms, making her giggle.

"thirsty. Their still learning to speak a bit." Carlos blushed and picked up Drake, groaning a bit at the heavy child.

"Do you have any apple juice?"

"Sorry." Kendall shrugged. Carlos sighed.

"Water will do." He rubbed his eyes and went to the kitchen to fill up a sippy cup with water and give it to Drake. Kendall smiled at them, and leaned back into the couch.

The door opened and Dak walked in.

"Sorry, but I gotta go grocery shopping before the store closes, so i gotta grab Drake and go." Dak walked over and hugged Carlos.

"How are you?"

"doing good, haven't seen you in a while." Carlos smiled at his son's father and handed him the diaper bag.

"Remember, he starts to daycare this week."

"Why daycare?"

"just to help him start class a bit earlier." Dak smiled at Carlos and picked up the sleepy toddler.

"Bye."

"Bye."

Carlos sighed and looked at Kendall, who was holding the sleepy Veronica, her shoulder length hair falling all over Kendall. Carlos chuckled and walked over to sit beside Veronica and Kendall, taking her hair in his hands and he began braiding it.

"Kendall?"

"Yea?"

"Do-do you think I'm crazy for having so many kids?"

Kendall chuckled.

"No. Their beautiful and wonderful, and if I was in your place, I wouldn't regret having them at all."

Carlos blushed and took his slepeing child in his arms, kissing her head and rocking her gently.

"I do love them. I guess it's just the first few years that take it outta ya." Carlos sighed and stood, balancing Veronica on one shoulder and bending down to pick up the baby carrier.

"Sorry, I wasn't around for long. But the kiddos are tired."

"It's okay." Kendall smiled and stood, following Carlos to the door. He opened the door and watched him leave.

"I'll try and come over, with one kid, tomorrow." they both chuckled and Kendall hugged Carlos.

"See ya."

"see ya, buddy."

Kendall shut the door and sighed, suddenly feeling dull and empty now that the kids were gone. He sighed and headed for his room, deciding to listen to some music for a while. He sat down on his bed and plugged in his I-pod, but suddenly a small ache went through his lower abdomen, and he had the sudden urge to use the restroom. He stood quickly and ran to the bathroom, feeling a small burn go through his lower abdomen.

He went to the restroom, his stomach churning a bit. It hurt to use the restroom.

That's not normal. Kendall shook his head.

Maybe it was just something he ate.

**XXXXXXXX**

Kendall's eyes snapped open and he stood quickly, hurrying to the bathroom, for around the fourth time that night.

His lower abdomen, around the small area above his penis hurt, and he groaned as he flushed the toilet and walked back to the pushed-together bed**s, **where Logan was awake and watching Kendall with worry.

"Baby, you okay?"

Kendall nodded and laid down with Logan, pulling his boyfriend to him, holding him close. he gave him a reassuring smile and kissed him.

"i'm okay, baby, I promise."

"But, are you sure? You've woken up four times already, sweating like crazy, and you practically ran to the bathroom."

Kendall nodded.

"I'm fine, I just ate something bad, probably."

Logan nodded, and Kendall waited until his eyes had fluttered shut to sigh and rub his belly. He started thinking about today, and he started wondering about it all. It was worse than what Logan thought and he sighed, hoping it was just a bad day for him.

Then his mind wandered back to Carlos and the babies. He loved how fun they were and how...wll, completed he felt when he was around the kids. suddenly it came to his mind and Kendall thought long and hard about it, wondering, his midn zzoming back and forth. He boggled over it for so long, he ended up falling asleep with his question still unanswered in mind.

Did he want a baby?

**okay so what did you guys think?**

**WHATS WRONG WITH KENDALL? **

**comments are welcomed!**

**:) 3 **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**  
><strong>Well here's the next chapter!<strong>  
><strong>Also, to just include, I have been typing on my iPod again because I'm grounded -_- so um yeah there will be some spelling error stuff i can't control : sorry.**

**Oh and sorry I forgot to mention that this story is the sequel to AFTER ALL THE PAIN I STILL LOVE YOU. And it will be in first person point of view for now because I'm so used to first person POV sorry :/ **  
><strong>Hope ya enjoy it!<strong>

**(this chapter starts nearly a month later...)**

Kendalls POV

When I woke up, I groaned and flopped my arm next to me. When I felt the empty space, I frowned and sat up. Logan wasn't next to me. I sighed and stood, grabbing my discarded jeans from last night off the floor and slipping them on.

I walked past our bedroom, checking for the shower running. I didn't hear anything, which mean Logan wasn't in the shower. I frowned and wondered where he was for a moment, but the yummy smell coming from the kitchen distracted me, and I followed my nose. I softly padded out of our shared room and into the kitchen, where I found Logan standing at the stove, in nothing but sweats, making French toast for us.

I smiled and made my way over to him quielty, wrapping my arms around his bare torso. He jumped a little when I did and I chuckled, pressing my mouth to his ear.

"did I scare you baby?"

He monaed as I bit his lobe, sucking and licking on the shell of his ear.

"y-yes of course y-you d-did but you snuck up on me- dammit kendall I'm going to burn our breakfast!"

I chuckled and let go, waiting until he took our food out and set it on the counter. He turned around and huffed at me.

"god you are always so fucking horny in the morning."

I lowered my eyelids and gave a small growl at him, watching him tense as I jumped at him. I grabbed him and yanked him down to the floor, pressing my hard cock to his ass. He groaned as I dry humped him, and then I attached my lips to his neck and wouldn't let go.

"f-f-fuck k-Kenny-" he gave a low groan and gripped my hair.

"god our foods gonna get cold." I stood suddenly, chuckling to myself when I saw Logans face turn to shock, then to anger as he grabbed me and yanked me back down. I laughed at his flushed face.

"what's wrong, Logie?"

"don't you dare think you're gonna give me a huge boner then not fuck me into the kitchen floor." he grabbed me and yanked me down, rubbing our erections together. I gave a low moan and laughed, running my hands up his legs.

"I thought you hated me being horny in the morning."

"fuck you, Knight." he growled.

"well, thank god we have microwaves for the food."

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

After fucking my precious angel into the kitchen floor, we ate breakfast and then Logan limped back to bed. It was only seven in the morning when we both woke up and not to mention his ass probably hurt like fuck, so I couldn't blame him. I was just glad my mom and sister were in Minnesota visiting family for the week, because Logan is LOUD.

I now sat on the couch, though, suddenly regretting the sex. The bottom of my stomach hurt like fuck, and my penis ached a little. I noticed it actually started hurting _during _the sex. It took me a while to come,and when it did it burned a bit.

During the last month, it was getting harder to use the restroom and have sex with Logan. My pubic area sometimes throbbed with pain, and sometimes my penis did too. I was getting up in the middle of the night frequently to pee, and then sometimes it hurt or was nearly impossible to _ go! _

I groaned and put my face in my hands. Did I probably catch an infection? An STD? God, if I gave Logan something I would hate myself forever. But...I'm clean.

What if-

No! He wouldn't cheat on me! I shook the thought out of my head and remembered that Logan was clean,too. It couldn't be him. We'd both got tested, just because we hated using condoms. I hated buying them, they were expensive for the good kind and while at it I felt embarrassed whenever I bought them.  
>So we ditched them. Besides,Logan's smart. If he WAS cheating he would have used a condom. But I trusted my gut and knew he wasn't.<p>

A sudden wracking pain made me double over, grabbing my crotch. It hurt like hell but as soon as it came it went. I sighed and stood, looking for the remote. I grabbed it and flipped through the channels, only finding cartoons to watch.

I sighed and flopped down on the couch, sinking into it as I tried to focus on Spongebob. After a while the pain subsided and I suddenly felt sleepy. I yawned, and then next thing I know, my eyelids were getting heavy...

And then the door slammed. I sat up, immediatley checking my watch to see I was asleep for an hour. I groaned and rubbed my head, turning to see a very angry Logan marching out of our bedroom, car keys in hand. He glanced at me before doing a double take, walking over to me and gently cupping my cheek.

"Kendall? You okay?"

I nodded. No, techincally I felt like shit, but he doesn't need to know that. Logan pressed his hand to my forehead.

"you feel warm."

"I was sleeping."

"maybe you should eat something."

"not hungry."

"Kendall-"

"Logan-"

Logan rolled his eyes at me and chuckled.

"look I know you hate being sick but you don't look too good. Really, to tell you the truth,you look like shit."

I groaned.

"Im not sick."

"whatever, up to you." he leaned over and kissed my cheek.

"I gotta go babe."

I sat up and started after Logan, the pain in the bottom of my stomach making those early thoughts pop up again.

"where you going?"

Logan looked at me, not noticing I was right behind him.

"Gustavo and Kelly need some help sorting paperwork and fixing a few things."

"can't they call a techinician?"

"nah, said it'd be cheaper if I did it." he rolled his eyes at the thought of our boss spending money on actual needed things. Logan turned and planted a kiss on my lips, making the question of him cheating on me race from my mind.

"see you later."

"bye." I said as the door closed. I sighed and was about to turn and take a nap when the door reopened and a short Carlos I missed a lot stepped in, followed by a very tall, and gorgeous James Diamond.

"Hey guys!"

"hey Ken, long time no see." James gave me a bear hug, and then Carlos followed his example. I chuckled when I saw Veronica clinging to her daddy's leg, and Carlos had Nathaniel balanced on his hip. I leaned forward and gave Nate a raspberry on his cheek, making the baby giggle in hysterics.

"how's my little man?" Nate just continued giggling and hid his face in his mommy's shoulder. Carlos chuckled, gently petting his baby's head.

"Ken-doll!" Veronica cried from her spot behind James's leg. I leaned down and grabbed her, scooping her up in my arms. She laughed and patted my cheek.

"aw, she missed you!" Carlos said, walking over and sitting down on the couch. He pulled out a small jar, which I could clearly see was baby food, and a small spoon. He tied a bib around Nate's neck and began feeding him.

"so anything new guys?" I looked at James, watching him shake his head. Carlos did the same.

"wow our lives have become boring." James chuckled, flopping down on the couch next to Carlos. Carlos finished feeding Nate and bounced the lethargic baby in his lap. I chuckled and looked down at Veronica. I swear the little girl was so cute, with her black hair braided into pigtails and her large hazel eyes

wide open.

"do you think I'm boring,Ronny?"

"No, my Ken-doll is fun-nee!" I laughed at that and set her down.

"whatcha wanna do today?" I watched her jump up and down, giving me that cute little smile filled with baby pearly whites.

"swirly! Swirly!" Carlos laughed and James patted his husbands shoulder.

"like mother like daughter."

Carlos gave James a playful glare and smacked his shoulder, making James laugh a little till his face was red. I grabbed Ronny and climbed us up to the top, setting her in my lap and leaning back so we could both fit down the slide. We slid down and she immediately stood, clapping her hands excitedly.

"fun! My Ken-doll is fun!"

"no! My Ronny is fun-nee!" I said, imitating her baby talk. She quieted a little, her tan cheeks turning rosey, and she put her arms behind her back and swiveled herself back and forth, moving her torso. She looked embarrassed and flattered.

"does Ken-doll really tink I'm fun-nee?" she giggled and I looked at James for help with the child's sudden behavior. He shrugged. I tapped her little nose and smiled.

"yes, I think Ronny is the funniest person ever!" I started laughing hard, making it sound true. She threw her arms into the air.

"Yay!"****

**XXXXXXXX**

Twenty exciting minutes later, I was flopped on the couch and Veronica was laying on my lap, her head against my shoulder. Carlos chuckled, walking in from the back bedroom and seeing us.

"Is Nate asleep?" Carlos nodded and sat down beside me.

"looks like you got an admirer." he gently stroked his daughter's cheek and smiled. I "aw-ed" at the thought of the little girl admiring me.

"yea, but I'm sad to say i might have to break a heart or two every now and then." carlos chuckled.

"yeah, I hope she doesn't think of you that way later on in life. Because if you seriously break her heart, I might just have to kick your ass."

I laughed quietly, being careful not to disturb the slumbering child on my chest.

"wow, 'Los, I didn't know you were capable of such words." Carlos smacked my arm and turned to look at the door as it opened. James stepped in, obviously just getting off his phone call. He groaned and walked over to plant a kiss on Carlos's cheek.

"sorry, Gustavo wants me to come in. I guess Logan was fixing something and it was messing with the computer system and stuff and it deleted some of my backgrounds and vocals in a song." Carlos gave a sad look.

"which means you're gonna be there for a while." James leaned down and kissed Carlos's lips hard.

"I'll be home before dinner." he hugged his husband and turned and left the apartment. Carlos sighed as the door shut behind his lover and he turned to me.

"well I'm kinda glad he's gone."

My eyebrows shot up and I turned and looked at Carlos. Carlos was biting his lip, and his fingers were digging into his knee.

"Carlos you okay?"

"please, promise not to tell James what I'm about to tell you."

If it was serious enough that Carlos couldn't tell James, I figured it was pretty bad.

"yeah, sure Carlitos. I'm here for you." I reached over and squeezed his shoulder. He shuddered and took a deep breath before looking at me.

"I think...I think I might be pregnant again."

I felt a little light-headed. The pain throbbed my heart and I looked down at Ronny as Carlos took her from me.

For the past three weeks, it was all I could think about. Kids, babies, teenagers. Toddlers. I wanted a baby. No, I needed a baby. Logan and I were together now, closer than ever before. I was actually planning to propose soon, hoping my partner said yes.

But I desperately wanted a baby. And I was jealous. Carlos could bear children and I couldn't. I grabbed my thigh, springing from my thoughts, as pain erupted through my lower torso. I turned back to Carlos, trying to focus on him and not the pain, emotional or physical.

"why do you think you are?"

Carlos sighed and stood, laying down Veronica on the place he was just sitting. He reached into the diaper bag and yanked out a soft pink blanket I knew was given to the twin when she was born. Drake had a blue one just like it. Carlos draped it over her, leaning down to kiss her forehead before he motioned for us to move to the bar, letting the toddler sleep.

Once resettled, Carlos returned to gripping his knee and biting his lip.

"so why-"

"well..." he interrupted," me and James have started using condoms, but yesterday I threw up three times after breakfast and I puked in the middle of walmart after lunch. And I..." his voice trailed off.," to check and make sure I was right...I looked through our trashcan."

His eyes were big and scared looking.

"and what, Carlos?"

"I found three broken condoms." my jaw dropped a little.

"james doesn't know?"

He shook his head.

"he was in the shower when I threw up and i was in the bathroom at walmart when I puked again."

"have you tried a pregnacy test?" Carlos shook his head again.

"I'm scared, too!" I watched a few tears roll down Carlos's face and I leaned over and hugged him.

"shh it's okay, Carlos."

"n-n-no I-it's not! J-James w-will hate me an-a-and I'm not ready for another kid! T-three kids is already hard!" he sobbed into my chest. I hugged him tighter and sighed.

"I'm sorry Carlos. Look don't tell James until you really do know if it's true or not."

He slowly sat up and sniffed.

"o-okay."

I patted my friends head and gave him a smile.

"and if it is true, James won't hate you, I promise. He loves you with all his heart." Carlos gave me a small smile and nodded. He glanced over at Veronica and smiled again.

"thanks, Kendall."

"are you ready to take the test?" his smile faded a little and he shook his head.

"no. Not yet. Maybe tomorrow." he stood and walked over to scoop up Veronica. He slung the diaper bag over his shoulder, and walked into the bedroom and grab his other kid. He carried them both to the door and sighed.

"thank you Kendall." I nodded and held the door open until he left. My heart hurt a little now that they kids were gone, but I guess i had to get over it.

The sudden urge to pee made me run to the bathroom, but I stopped and doubled over in pain. I shook visibly as my privates and the areas around them hurt, and suddenly the warm wetness in my jeans made me realize I wet myself.

Again.

I groaned and stood, immediately stripping my pants off and walking legs naked to the bathroom in the kitchen. I dropped all my clothes, not wanting to risk the urine smell, into the tub and I turned the water on. That was the third time it's happened to me, and at this point I'm actually a little scared.

No! I was strong, I was the leader, I couldn't be worried about something as stupid as...well...urine problems...

I shook my head and scrubbed my clothes, before I picked up the soggy clothes and took them to the laundry room. I tossed them in with the other wet clothes and turned the machine on, before I sighed and suddenly felt sleepy.

I grabbed a pair of clean sweatpants and tugged them on, deciding to take a nap for a little while. I flopped down on the king sized bed Logan and I had traded our twins for. I put an arm behind my head and pulled one leg up, bending it so it touched the side of my knee. It was comfortable and soon enough I was sleeping.

The pain subsided and before I knew it, I was sleeping peacefully.****

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

I groaned in my sleep a little. The slurping noise was really getting to me, but then again, all the pleasure I could feel below was amazing. I groaned sleepily, then moaned as something wet and very warm engulfed my-

I gasped and sat up, discovering Logan, sitting on the bed, his head between my legs, his mouth around my cock. I moaned and grabbed his hair, tugging on it. I made him look up at me, his brown eyes wide open and lust-filled, his pink lips reddening and swelling a bit from sucking me off.

Okay I was good at fucking, I admt, but Logan was AMAZING at giving head. He could do things with his tongue that would make my eyes roll back when I came inside his hot little mouth.

I chuckled and pulled him up, sliding my tongue inside his mouth.

"and you say IM horny." I said in the middle of our makeout.

"you did have a boner that needed to be attended too." I groaned as he rubbed his Jean covered ass over my exposed cock. I squeezed his hips.

"fuck Kenny..." he groaned. I wasted no time, tugging his shirt off and throwing it down. I grabbed his jeans, kissing his stomach and licking my way down his happy trail. I was met with brown curls, and then that gorgeous cock of his I loved so much.

It truth, he was an inch or two smaller than my nine inch cock, but I loved it. He was thick and I loved feeling the weight of his dick in my hand. He was always shy about it, thinking he wasn't perfect enough for me, but god wihout him I would die. I licked a line over his cock, ready to please him with a good blow, too, except he grabbed my hair and yanked my head to look at him.

The lusty look in his eyes made my cock throb painfully.

"I wanna ride you."

I watched him grab our bottle of lotion and drizzle it all over my cock, using his hand to slick it up and down. I smiled and laid back, keeping my hands on his beautiful thighs. I gave them a tight squeeze,making Logan squeak. He pressed his entrance to my tip, but before he did anything else I stopped him.

"wait! Baby do you need to be s-"

"Kendall I swear to god unless you let me fuck my tight ass on your big cock I will take myself in the bathroom and finish in there instead." he growled and I could see he meant it.

I leaned back and watched him slid down, pushing himself onto my cock. He stretched around me, grimacing a little in pain. But, once he was filled to the brim with my cock, he groaned and placed his hands on my chest. I grabbed his hips, helping him as he lifted himself up slowly and then pushed him self back down. He groaned and tried tilting himself, angling himself as he continued bouncing up and down slowly. Finally he leaned forward a bit more and shoved himself back down.

He moaned and shuddered, making me shudder. He was moving up and down kind if slowly, making me sweat. I wanted to come so badly it hurt. Logan's tightness and warm heat was amazing. He was so tight, squeezing me hard. I wanted to pound into him. I want to make him scream, I want to make him cry my name, I don't want him to walk for a week.

Logan fucked himself down once more, making us both moan loud.

"yes!" he screamed and started bouncing hard, sliding in and out hard and fast, thrusting deep against his prostrate. Logan leaned back, throwing his head back as he rammed himself down.

The tightness, the heat, it all made me wanna cum...but I couldn't. The pain flared up again and I realized it was extremley hard to cum. Eventually it started to hurt and I squeezed my eyes shut. I guess Logan thought it was something different because he leaned over, biting my neck and sucking on it. I had already given Logan enough hickeys last night,so I guess he got back at me.

But then he pressed his lips to my ear and chuckled.

"don't hold back."

I guess that did it, because I squeezed his thighs extremley hard enough to bruise and thrusted up, releasing deep inside of his beautiful body. Logan cried out when I squeezed his thighs, but screamed my name as he came, splattering my chest with his cum.

We both groaned and Logan fell on me. We both panted and waited until our breathing returned to normal before Logan sat up and pulled my soft dick out of him. Logan groaned when I was out, and I laid back to sleep.

I cried out as a sudden pain hit my lower torso, including my penis and I came without warning. It splattered the bed and in between Logan's already stained legs.

"o-ow." I groaned. I heard Logan gasp and I looked up to see his thighs had sperm and...my eyes widened as I saw the red lines mixed in with my sperm.

"oh god Logan did I rip you? I'm so sorry! I'll make up for this I swear-"

"Kendall! It's not me!" Logan's eyes were wide and I looked at him.

"w-what?"

"Kendall, that's not my blood it-it's yours. Look." he pointed at cum on the bed, from my surprise release and it, too, had blood.

"dammit."

Logan stood and immeidately starts cleansing himself. He hurries and pulls on clothes, but all I can do is sit still and stare in shock at the blood.

"Kendall come on, I'm taking you to the hospital."  
><strong><br>A/N  
>DUN DUN DUN! what's wrong with Kendall?<br>TO BE CONTINUED! **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**  
><strong>So I guess this sequel is going...good. Sorry for late updates...again :**  
><strong>So here it is.<strong>

**Logans POV**

My heart thumped as I paced back and forth, in front of the hospital bed. Kendall and I sat in the ER, Kendall laying on the bed. He would cringe in pain every now and then and I finally couldnt help myself. I reached over and grabbed his hand. I interlocked our fingers and Kendall sighed.

"Logan, I'm fine." I frowned at him and he sighed again.

"really? Really? You just-" I looked around before turning back to him and lowering my voice,"released blood!"

"Logan-"

"No!" I walked over and sat beside him, yanking him over and pressing his head onto my shoulder. I ran my fingers through his hair.

"Kendall, you have something wrong with you. I'm going to make sure you get better." I felt my bottom lip begin to tremble, and Kendall sat up. He caressed my cheek, making me sigh as his fingers traced over my skin. He pecked my lips and I jumped back, glancing around at the nurses.

"Kendall! Someone could see us!" I gasped. He frowned and yanked me close.

"you matter more to me than being a celebrity does."

"awwww..." I blushed and looked at Kendall. He was smiling, but suddenly his face twisted and he stood up. I gripped his hand, but he turned away as he races to the bathroom. I felt horrible, Kendall was going through so much pain, but I was in so much shock from this, I really couldn't figure out what was wrong with my own boyfriend. I waited a few minutes until Kendall finally came back. He lied down on the bed and gripped the sheets in pain. I shook gently as I grabbed one of his hands and squeezed it. He smiled but looked behind me. I turned and let go of his hand as the doctor walked over to us.

He was tall, with a full head of black hair. He had a bit of stubble of his hard chin, and he had nice grey eyes. He looked young, and kind of attractive. I shivered under his stare as he eyed Kendall. He then picked up the clipboard by Kendall's bed.

"ah, Mr. Knight, my name is Dr. Morrison, let's see what your in for." he frowned and stepped closer to the bed, grabbing the curtain and pulling it around us.

"I see you had a bit of trouble during intercourse." his eyes flicked towards me and I looked at Kendall. He looked at me and shrugged.

"go on, Doc. It's alright, he's cool."

Dr. Morrison nodded and continued.

"Care to explain what happened?"

I watched Kendall's face turn red and he looked at me.

"u-umm well...I was..." he coughed," having...intercourse,a-and I...my sperm has blood in it."

Kendall looked like he was about to die. I wanted to squeeze his hand and tell him he'd be okay. The doctor frowned and I watched as he flipped through his clipboard.

"have you had any other symptoms?" I looked at Kendall and watched as he bit his lip.

"yes."

"what kinds?"

Kendall's face went red and he wouldn't look at me.

"well...I-it started with...frequent...urinating." I could see he was searching for his words. I got off the bed and stood next to the bed.

"It started with frequent urinating, and what else?" I could see the doctor was just a bit annoyed that Kendall was being shy.

"Go on, Kendall." I huffed. Kendall looked at me and continued.

"well...I..I had pain. Lots of pain, s-starting from the bottom of my stomach to my..." he stopped and looked at the doctor. The doctor suddenly understood and nodded.

"any other?"

"yes. Um...well I've had trouble going to the bathroom, and sometimes I have to rush to the bathroom...I've-I've even wet myself a few times." he whispered the last part and my eyes bulged a little as I stared at Kendall.

"I-it's even been hard to...release during sex." Kendall was red as a tomato now and I felt horrible. I felt so guilty that my boyfriend was having all these problems and I didn't even realize it.

"How long have these problems been going on?"

"a month." Kendall mumbled. My heart thumped hard and my Adams apple hurt as I forced myself not to cry. How had I not seen any of this? The doctor nodded and left for a few minutes. It gave me enough time to let a few tears dribble and I leaned over and threw my arms around Kendall.

"Logie-"

"No, I've been such a bad boyfriend! How could I not notice any of this?" I cried into his shoulder. He ran his fingers through my hair, and then held my head close as he kissed my forehead.

"it's not your fault, Logie."

"I'm sorry." I sobbed. Me, the future doctor, missed all this! Kendall gripped my face and raised my head. My eyes met his gorgeous green eyes that I always wanted to sink in to.

"it wasn't your fault, baby. Nothing is your fault, you're the best person alive, and I doubt I could live without you. This was not your fault." he said sternly. I sobbed a little and wiped my eyes as Kendall pecked my lips. I heard the doctors footsteps and pulled away, hurriedly wiping my eyes. The curtain was yanked back, and I looked at the doctor.

He raised an eyebrow and looked at his clipboard.

"Um Dr. Morrison?"

"well, Kendall, my colleagues and I have discussed your symptoms. Kendall we may need to run some blood tests, and we also want to do a rectal exam."

I watched my boyfriend's face go pale.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

I paced back and forth outside the doctors examination office, listening to Kendall yelp as he got a rectal exam.  
>The doctor had taken his blood two hours before, and they were testing it now. My stomach churned and suddenly Kendall's yelps quit. I stopped and looked at the door as the doctor exited. He sighed and jotted down some things on his clipboard before turning to me.<p>

"Hello Mr..."

"Mitchell." I shook the doctors hand and went back to nibbling on my thumbnail.

"I-is Kendall going to be okay?"

The doctor sighed.

"We...we may need to do a biopsy."

"b-biopsy? On what?" I felt sweat prickle my scalp and the doctor patted my shoulder. He may be tall and attractive, but I clearly felt like hitting him.

"Mr. Mitchell, from the symptoms, to the rectal exam, and I just got the blood work back. Mr. Knight has a high PSA level, and his anal cavity doesn't seem healthy. I'm unfortunate to say he might have-"

"prostate cancer." I feel my heart shatter. I feel tears well up behind my eyes and my heart plummets to my stomach.

"we figured. Due to his symptoms, it seems to be the only option. We won't know until we perfom a biopsy how far along the cancer has stretched. How bad his symptoms are, it could be stretched into the advanced stages."

I gripped my chin, shutting my eyes.

"and if he has cancer?"

"he'll need radiation and most probably surgery."

I nod and watch as the doctor turns and enters the room once more. I wish I could go in and help Kendall through the biopsy, but I know I'm not allowed. I sit still, knowing to get a sample from a biopsy won't take long. I sit still and knock my knees together, letting out huge puffs of breaths, holding back my tears.

I think I dozed off for a while, because when I sit up, Kendall is tapping my shoulder. He looks pale and a little woozy, so I hurry and stand. I stare at Kendall for a moment, before I glance around.

"come on." I sigh and grab his arm, gently leading my boyfriend to the hospital doors.

It isn't until we're in the car when I cling to Kendall and cry. He holds me close, and doesn't say anything.

"C-Cancer?" I whisper. He nods and runs his fingers through my hair again.

"it c-can't be! It can't be!" I scream. I sob deeply and watch Kendall shudder.

"it's okay, baby."

I bury my head in his shoulder, because if I don't I'll probably be screaming my head off. I sob deeply, clinging to Kendall. I want to be closer to him, because I don't think I can stay away from him right now. I drag myself into his lap and sob. I cling to him as I feel a warm wetness on my own shoulder and I realize he's crying.

"Kendall-"

"baby I can't drive like this." he whispers. I nod and move off of him. I scoot back into my seat and cling to his arm as we drive home.

XXXXXXXXXXX

By the time we get home, it's around eight at night. I hold Kendall's arm all the way up to our apartment, getting a snide comment from Jett and a yell from Bitters. Kendall flips them both off and continues upstairs. I don't let go off him until we ge to our apartment.

He sighs and heads for the shower, and I stand still. I sigh and go into our bedroom, cleaning up the dirty sheets. The apartment feels empty, and somewhat cold. I don't like it. I walk to the shower and strip real quick, not letting the cold air get to me. I climb in behind Kendall and I lean against his back, wrapping my arms around his middle. I let the hot water run over us, and I sniff.

"Logan? You okay?"

I let out huge sobs and Kendall turns around, hugging me close. I shake in his arms, sobbing hard.

"Logan, it's okay. I'll be okay."

"n-no you w-won't! I-it's-it's so bad!" I sit there and sob as Kendall sighs and scrubs me, lathering my hair with shampoo, and he runs soap all over me. I don't move, I'm still sobbing. How can Kendall not react to this? I whimper when he turns the water off, and dries us off. He carries me bridal style to bed, not even caring that we're naked. He drops the towels and tucks us between the clean sheets. I cling to him and continue to sob. I don't know what to do.

"Logie, shhh.." he rocks me gently in his arms and I cling to him.

"Cancer, Kendall! Cancer!" I sob. Kendall sighs.

"I know, baby, I know."

I whimper and cling to him, putting my head on his shoulder. He rubs his hand up and down my bare back.

"Kendall?"

"Yes Logan?"

"p-promise me, promise me you'll be okay."

He pulls away and I give a little sob when I see his green eyes shimmer in the dark. I don't think Ill ever be able to live without seeing those beautiful green eyes. I can't imagine myself with anybody else. Kendall pecks my lips, then he comes back for a second, much longer passionate kiss. I wrap my arms around him, pressing our bodies together.

"I promise."

"Kendall?"

"yes baby?"

"I love you...I love you so much." I whisper.

"I love you,too. A lot baby. I don't want anybody else but you." he whispers. I let out a choked sob and press my face into his chest.

"Logan-"

"no, shhh. Please...I just need this day to end." I feel Kendall nod and I sigh into his chest.

"love you Logie."

"love you too."

I let out the last few tears before I close my eyes and let sleep overcome me.

**A/N**  
><strong>Kendall has cancer! Oh *bleep*! that's horrible!<strong>  
><strong>To be continued... <strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N  
>So I see the last chap didn't get as many likes...so I hope this one makes everything a bit better.<strong> **I apologize in advance I thought this chapter would be longer.**

**Kendall's POV**

I sighed and glanced back at Logan. He was still asleep, but I couldn't. I had laid there all night and not slept a wink.  
>Prostate cancer? Of all things in the world, I was cursed with cancer. I rubbed my face and stood, going to the bathroom. I splashed cold water on my face and sighed, looking at myself in the mirror. I had bags under my eyes from crying and not sleeping, worrying myself to oblivion. I had stubble on my chin, which I didn't care about at the moment. My eyes were red, and my hair was crazy.<br>I sighed and then gasped as warm arms embraced my waist.  
>"Why are you up so early?" Logan mumbled into my shoulder. I sighed and patted his hands on my stomach.<br>"Just...can't sleep."  
>"Me neither." I turn around and picked him up, letting him wrap his legs around my waist. He buried his head in my shoulder and sighed.<br>"Your mom gets home today. We're gonna have to tell her."  
>Oh, man I completely forgot about my mom. I sighed and shifted Logan in my arms a little, trying to get comfortable. I squeezed him and walked out of the bathroom, into our bedroom where I could see it was still dark out. I lay down, Logan still embracing me. I felt a warm wetness on my bare shoulder and I realized he was crying again. All night long, my poor baby cried.<br>I felt so guilty, because all I could do was hold him and wait until his tears subsided. I couldn't whisper encouraging words to him, tell him I'll be okay, because I couldn't even do that for myself. I gripped Logan a little harder and pressed my face to the crook of his neck. Logan sniffed and sat up, wiping his eyes.  
>"w-we should, we should probably try and get some sleep."<br>"yeah." Logan lay down next to me and I put an arm around him, but I knew we both weren't going to sleep. I laid there and watched the light go from light blue, to pink, to orange and finally yellow. I looked over at Logan around eight in the morning. He was sound asleep. Logan looked sort of like me, his hair askew and his eyes puffy. He had stubble on his chin, too.  
>I sighed and gently pulled my arm from around him, watching his nose twitch in his sleep. I stood silently and yanked on a pair of jeans from the cold floor. I decided to let Logan sleep longer as I wandered out into the apartment. I sat down at the dining table, nibbling on a thumbnail as I thought. I didn't know what to do. Who would I tell? When?<br>Would this ruin the band? I mean yeah we still sang songs and produced albums; we went on tour once or twice since Carlos had his kids, but the band was still going strong. We performed concerts here in L.A every now and then. I groaned and gripped my head in my hands.  
>I didn't know what to do.<br>The front door opened suddenly and my head went up. I watched as my mom and Katie walked in, dragging their bags. Katie didn't notice me as she yawned and went to her bed. My mom stretched and sighed, before she turned and saw me.  
>"Oh, good morning Kendall. What are you doing up so early?"<br>I smiled at my mom, suddenly glad she was home. The apartment felt warmer and more filled when she was around.  
>"Hi, mom. Have a nice trip?"<br>"Ugh the plane ride was horrible." she walked over to me and bent down to give me a hug. She stopped, though and stood. She frowned and then cupped my cheek.  
>"Baby, are you okay?"<br>Now or never. I sighed and gripped my mom's hand, standing up and leading her to the couch.  
>"Mom I think you should sit down."<br>She nodded and we both sat next to each other.  
>"Mom I-"<br>"you didn't get a girl pregnant did you? Wait, Logan doesn't have the same disease as Carlos, does he? Oh my gosh, Logan is having a baby!"  
>"No! Mom, just listen." she stopped and I held my mom's hand. I opened my mouth to say something but then stopped and put my head in my hand.<br>"Logan and I...I wasn't...feeling well. So, Logan took me to the hospital..."  
>"Yes, go on." she looked worried and I felt a horrible pang of guilt in my chest.<br>"Mom...I might, most probably have prostate cancer." my mom's look was blank for a second and then she gripped the area over her heart. I watched her eyes fill with water and then she turned away, slowly. She looked at me after a few seconds of silence.  
>"C-cancer?" I nodded and my mom put her head in hands. She was quiet for a moment and then a small sob escaped her lips. My heart hurt as I reached over and hugged my mom. She threw her arms around me and for once I wasn't embarrassed to be wrapped up in my mom's arms. She sobbed into my shoulder and I did the same to her.<br>"Oh gosh, Kenny, this can't be happening!" I sobbed into my mom's shoulder harder.  
>"w-we get the results next week." my mom ran her fingers through my hair and started crying again. She backed away a little and rubbed at her eyes.<br>"I-I'm sorry honey I know you hate being squished by me." I looked at my mom and I could see how torn she was.  
>"Mom?"<br>"Yes, bab-I mean Kendall?" I realized how broken hearted my mom was, because she used to call me baby and hug me all the time. When I was thirteen, I begged her to stop. She did, but occasionally she would slip up.  
>"I just want you to hold me. Please? Please mommy?" I watched my mom's tears spill harder as she pulled me close. I buried my head in my mom's shoulder and I sobbed until I fell asleep.<p>

XXXXXXXXXX

After a good warm shower and grooming, I walked out of the bathroom and slipped on some boxers. I yanked on a tee shirt and some skinny jeans, instantly regretting a little as pain erupted through my hips. I groaned and combed my hair down, trying to ignore it.  
>I sighed and watched Logan strip behind me in the mirror, tossing his dirty clothes into our hamper. He eyed my hungry look in the mirror and chuckled.<br>"Forget about it." he walked into our shower and shut the door. I groaned, because now I felt aroused and usually the only thing that could get rid of it was my precious Logie. I flopped down on my bed and sighed, suddenly feeling sleepy.  
>I was surprised, because I had slept in my mom's arms earlier but, I guess it wasn't enough. The ringing of my cellphone disturbed me, though, and I sat up, grabbing my cellphone. I slide my finger over the lock and then answered the call.<br>"Hello?"  
>"Hey, Kendall."<br>It was Carlos. I smiled at the sound of the Latinos voice.  
>"Hey Carlos, what's up?"<br>"U-umm...Kendall could...could you run down to the store and possibly get a...a pregnancy test? I can't, because the baby is sleeping. And James isn't here."  
>I sighed and stood, pulling on some Vans.<br>"Yeah I'll be over soon."  
>"thanks a lot Kendall."<br>"Welcome." I ended the call and turned to knock on the bathroom door.  
>"What?" Logan called from inside. I opened the door and stuck my head in real quick.<br>"Hey baby, I'm going to go run an errand for Carlos, he can't leave the apartment and James is out."  
>"Oh, okay. Kendall?"<br>I stuck my head back in.  
>"yeah baby?"<br>"Be...be careful Kendall "I knew what he meant and I sighed.  
>"I will." I shut the door behind me and continued out, grabbing my car keys and wallet.<p>

XXXXXXXXX

After going through a very awkward moment buying the pregnancy test, I hurried back to the Palm Woods and upstairs to 4H, where Carlos and James lived. I knocked on the door and instantly it opened. Carlos pulled me inside and grabbed the bag from me.  
>"Whoa, calm down, Carlos."<br>"n-no I have to do this before I chicken out." I watched as he opened the packet and hurried to the bathroom. I stood there, alone. I sighed and looked around the apartment. It wasn't like ours downstairs, but James and Carlos managed to make it nice. There was the kitchen, with a bar and an island, and then the living room was kind of big. They had cherry wood floors, which must've taken a while to get put in. The walls were painted a light green in the kitchen and the living room was orange. They had posters hanging on the walls, along with art posters and picture frames filled with James and Carlos and the babies. They were a few of Carlos with Drake and Dak, I noticed, but they were separated from the ones with James.  
>The couches were something that looked like they belonged in our apartment, fun colors and big and wide enough. They had a TV hanging on the wall and a purple coffee table. I laughed a little. Then there were baby toys scattered all over the floor. In one corner on the living room sat a little toddler playground, with a mini slide and tiny fort underneath it, one built for inside play. I thought it was cute.<br>The house looked great. I thought they did pretty well. They had movies for adults and kids separated and a computer on a desk by the playground, where I found games like "Jumpstart to Kindergarten!" I chuckled. I guess they must have Veronica and Drake playing these games.  
>I heard a door open and I turned to expect Carlos, but I found Veronica toddling out of her room, dressed in dark denim shorts and a white panda shirt on. Her hair was hanging down and she clutched her blanket in hand. I could see Drake behind her in his bed, wrapped up in his blue blanket. I knew Drake to be less energetic than she was.<br>Her hazel eyes opened wide when she saw me and she toddled over to me.  
>"Ken-doll?" she hugged my leg and I smiled, picking the child up. I hugged her and watched as she put her head in my neck. I guess she had woken up but was so sleepy. I chuckled when I heard her slumbering. I turned to go put her back in bed when the bathroom door opened an Carlos came out. He held the test in one hand and he was biting his lip.<br>"Well what does it say?"  
>"It takes a minute- hey what are you doing with her?" he looked at Veronica and frowned. I smiled sheepishly as I rubbed the toddlers back.<br>"She um walked out of her bedroom."  
>"Oh." Carlos sighed and continued pacing back and forth, before finally sitting down.<br>"I-I can't look." I swallowed hard and saw how nervous he was. I walked over and patted his shoulder.  
>"It's okay. Whatever the outcome is, it'll be fine."<br>"I-I hope so..." Carlos stood and then opened his fist. He examined the test up close and then let out a giant sigh of happiness.  
>"Oh thank god! It's negative!"<br>"What's negative?"  
>My eyebrows went up and I turned slowly to see James behind me. Carlos was shocked, too, because his whole face was red. James took off his sunglasses and set down his grocery bag.<br>"Carlos, what are you talking about?" he walked over to him and grabbed the test out of the shocked Latinos hand.  
>"A pregnancy test?" he looked from me to Carlos. I tried raising a hand but Veronica started to slip out of my grasp.<br>"J-James it's now what you-" Carlos started to say, but James grabbed him by the front of his shirt.  
>"Are you cheating on me? With Kendall?"<br>"N-No! James let me-"  
>"Tell me the truth! Why did you hide this from me? Huh?"<br>"I swear I-I'm not c-cheating!"  
>"Dude he's telling the truth!" I stepped forward, then remembered the child in my arms and stepped back. James turned back to me and pointed a finger in my face.<br>"Don't get into this, Knight! Trust me you'll have your turn!" my eyes widened and I watched Carlos as he began to cry.  
>"J-Jamie I s-swear! I didn't do anything!"<br>"Then why hide a pregnancy test from me! That only raises my suspicions!" he gripped Carlos's shirt harder, which caused me to grip Veronica. She mumbled something about "Ken-doll and jelly beans" before yawning and slumbering on.  
>"James, I-I was scared!"<br>"Of what? Me finding out?"  
>"n-no...I-I was scared-b-because I c-can't have another k-kid!"<br>"What are you talking about?" James narrowed his eyes at Carlos and I watched helplessly as Carlos gripped his hands.  
>"b-because I was afraid you'd g-get mad that I was pregnant again! I didn't want you to leave me! I was scared because-because I don't want to lose you! I don't want you to hate m-me and t-three kids is already hard!" by now Carlos was in hysterics, crying his eyes out and I could see James soften. He gasped when he saw what he had done and dropped Carlos. He yanked the Latino into a hug and peppered his face with kisses.<br>"I'm so sorry! I-I wasn't thinking! I was scared I was gonna lose you too! Oh, Carlos if you thought you were pregnant again I wouldn't have been mad!"  
>"y-you wouldn't?" Carlos sniffed. James smiled at him and pecked his lips.<br>"No of course not. I mean, we would have to get a bigger house and maybe someone to help us with all the kids during the day, but god no! I mean a baby; I-it's us combined Carlitos!" Carlos sniffed and James wiped his cheeks. They hugged and I "awed" at the sight. James ran a hand down Carlos's face.  
>"I love you."<br>"I love you, too."  
>James turned to me and rubbed the back of his neck.<br>"Sorry dude...I just-"  
>"no apologies I understand." James smiled and gently lifted his daughter off of me. I sighed at the lost but then gave then a grim smile as I realized I might have to ruin their moment.<br>"Guys? Actually I need to tell you something..."

Carlos cried, James hugged him and was the brave husband he was to hold back his tears. They hugged me close and I promised to tell them when I got the results from my biopsy back. I left, and feeling a bit lonely I went down to get a smoothie. I chugged on the pink smoothie as I sat at a table by the pool. People were heading back up to their apartments and it was late, around 7 when I got down there. I sighed and glanced around, suddenly taking in the warm and beautiful, yet humid night.  
>I sighed again when I realized I missed a great night to propose to Logan again. I've been trying to find ways and days to propose to him, but then I kept forgetting to go out a buy a ring.<br>Would he accept it anyway? I mean we WERE a little young, but still...I felt a plop on my head and realized it had started to sprinkle water a bit. I stood, hanging my head as I walked back up to 2J. I opened the door and walked past my mom and Katie, going to my room where Logan sat at our desk.  
>"Hey Kendall, you okay?"<br>I shook my head and flopped down on the bed. I felt a hand on my back and the bed sunk in. Logan rubbed my back and I sighed.  
>"Things will get better, I promise."<br>I nodded and held out my hand for Logan to take. I gripped his hand and pressed my face to the pillow.  
>"Hopefully."<br>"They will. Hopefully they will."

**Okay so what did you guys think?  
>Review pls!<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N  
>I apologize for not updating as fast as I usually have been, I've been focusing on school, sports, learning to get my permit, and trying to relax. I've been really stressed lately, to the point where clumps of hair are falling off my head. And also I've been focusing on trying to draw this manga I just started and I'm helping another writer on fan fiction write a story (I'm co-typing it)<strong>

**So just explaining why I've been late. Enjoy.**

**Logan's POV  
><strong>  
>I stare at Kendall as he sleeps, watching his chest go up and down slowly. I know the percentage of men dying from prostate cancer, and I don't think I could live without this little moment I get every day.<br>I love Kendall. I really do. With all my heart.  
>And if I lose him, I don't know what I'll do. I sigh and stroke his hair, watching his eyes flutter a little before he opens them and looks at me. He smiles and yawns.<br>"hi Logie-bear." he whispers. I smile quickly but then drop it and lay my head down on his chest, listening to his heart beat quietly. I sniff and rubb his chest. He kisses the top of my head and sighs, leaning back into the pillow.  
>"Baby, when are you gonna stop worrying?" I shake my head.<br>"never. I will always worry about you, especially now." he grips the back of my head gently and pulls my head up so I meet his gaze. He smooths his thumb over my cheek and sighs.  
>"I know...I worry about you, too." We hug and then I crawl over him so i'm laying on top of him. He grunts a little and readjusts himself so we're more comfortable. We lie there for a while, watching the sun shimmer on the ceiling.<br>XXXXXXXXXX

It's much later when the call comes.  
>I stand in the kitchen, making some sandwiches for Kendall and I, because I'm taking him on a relaxing picnic later. We've all been stressed lately, and it's really taking a toll on all us. Kendall hasn't looked very well, he's pale and with stubble covering his chin. He hasn't been eating very well, so his clothes hang on him. His skin isn't looking well either, he has a zit on his chin. Mama Knight can't look at him without crying, and Katie stays away from the apartment.<br>I sigh and place the sandwiches and the container of grapes in the basket. I place two water bottles and some crystal light packets in it. I then top it off by tossing two snack cakes inside. I lean out of the kitchen and spot Kendall lounging on the couch, a baggy black T-shirt slung over him with light denim jeans that are still kinda baggy on him. He has a hand pressed over his eyes, leaning on his elbow.  
>"Kendall?"<br>He glances at me and I shake a little. He looks so horrible. It breaks my heart.  
>"You ready?" he nods and stands, yanking on his Vans. I put the basket on my arm and then hook my other one around Kendall's. He lets me gently lead him from the apartment. Once down in the lobby, we hold hands and leave the lobby. People here don't care who's with whom, it has to have drama or nobody cares. I lead Kendall out to the park, where I set everything up on a blanket.<br>He sits there and chews silently. He eats half of his sandwich before he sets it down for the ants. I sigh and wrap my arms around him.  
>"Kendall, please eat. You look horrible." he sits there. I press my face into his shoulder and I let out a sniff.<br>"Kendall, please, c-cheer up just a b-bit please? I c-can't take this. I-I'm already hurting as bad as you are." I can't take it. I sob into his shoulder and he wraps his arms around me.  
>"God baby I'm-I'm...I'm so sorry. I just..."<br>"Let's just make the happiness last, okay? We don't know yet..." he nods and kisses my cheek. I smile and reach into the basket, retrieving his sandwich. He takes it and bites into it, holding me close. I sigh into his arm, happy he's finally eating something. I munch on a few grapes myself, but the vibrating of my phone calls my attention. I grab my IPhone, glancing at the caller ID. My heart sinks into my stomach.  
>"Kendall...it's the hospital." he stops and looks at me with big eyes that make my heart pound. I slide my hand over the open button and I answer my phone.<br>"H-hello?"  
>"Ah Mr. Knight?"<br>"n-no this is Logan Mitchell, but Kendall is sitting next to me."  
>"Oh, alright, well I have his biopsy reports."<br>I hold my breath for a moment. Kendall grasps my hand and squeezes it.  
>"G-go ahead."<br>"Well, we've looked at his biopsy and even though his symptoms seem advanced, Kendall Knight has Acute Prostate Cancer." my heart raised a little. Acute was much better than Advanced in this situation. I mean, sure it was cancer...but Acute meant a possibility of surgery removing it.  
>"Oh g-gosh, Acute? T-that's better but still... What else can you tell me?"<br>"Well the advanced symptoms were due to a high rise in his hormones, not rare in sexually active teenagers, but it was Acute Prostate, so he should be able to have surgery and about a week of radiation and he'll be fine. I am glad you did decide to bring him around the time you did, because if you had waited another week or two it would've been worse."  
>My eyes filled when the doctor finished.<br>"s-so he's fine?"  
>"yes. He'll be due for surgery next week, Tuesday." my heart beat hard as I thanked the doctor and ended the call. I turned to Kendall and blinked, letting my joyful tears fall. His eyes were wide and filled, waiting, looking at me anxiously.<br>"y-you're going to be fine, just some surgery a-and radiation."  
>"I'm fine?"<br>I nodded and Kendall grabbed me, yanking me close. He peppered my face with kisses, kissing me on the lips and everywhere else. We hugged, gripping each other tightly. Kendall pushed me back down on the blanket so he could crawl over me, biting down on my cheek and sucking. I gripped his hair and smiled in bliss as he trailed his hands up and down my body. I swear to god if there weren't people around us I would let Kendall do me right here.  
>Except our moment was ruined.<br>"Always knew you two were fags." Kendall stopped, my lips stuck between his teeth in a small sexual bite. He growled and let go, sitting up to glare back at Jett. Jett chuckled and Kendall stood, his fingers curling into a fist. I glanced between the two and hurriedly stood, grabbing Kendall's hand.  
>"Kendall-"<br>"come on Logie, let me I've been dying to!" I shake my head and hold Kendall's hand. Jett chuckles at Kendall but stops.  
>"Jett! What are you- oh hi guys!" Dak smiles as he walks up to us, Drake resting on his hip. Drake is munching on a granola bar and smiles.<br>"Drake say hi." Dak smiles as Drake grins, his two baby teeth showing.  
>"Hi-hi!" he waves at us. Jett rolls his eyes a little and Dak looks at him.<br>"hey babe, whatcha doing over here?" Dak takes in Kendall with his angry glare and me gripping his fist. He sighs and shifts Drake.  
>"Jett what did you do?" Kendall smirks.<br>"and you call us fags." he hisses at Jett, who's blushes and glares at Kendall. Dak looks shocked, but we're interrupted as Drake cries out,"Dadd-e, potty I gotta go pott-e!" Dak looks at Jett.  
>"here take him to the bathroom for me." he hands Drake to Jett, who's grimaces and holds Drake's hand as they leave and walk back to the Palmwoods. Dak turns to us with an apologetic look.<br>"i'm sorry about him, he's just jealous because he barely has any emotions and thinks only of himself." he rolls his eyes.  
>"why are you with him then?" we watch Dak shrug and then he sighs.<br>"well I thought I could-"  
>"change him?" Kendall laughs a little and Dak smiles a bit.<br>"yea pretty stupid huh? Guess I was just desperate for someone to watch Drake for a little while when I'm working." he shrugs and kendall's eyes suddenly light up. I look at him weird but as I reach over to ask him what's up he walks over to Dak.  
>"why don't you dump that douchebag and we'll watch Drake for you?" Dak's face lights up.<br>"really? Would you?" Kendall nods and Dak gives him a quick hug. I give Kendall a questioning look but before I can ask him what's up Jett comes back with a crying Drake. He shoves the small little boy, who's splattered with water towards Dak.  
>"Oh my god! What happened?" Dak scoops up his child, not caing he's soaking and glares at Jett. Jett rolls his eyes and crosses his arms.<br>"what? The little crybaby wouldn't hurry up and pee and then he couldn't wash his hands!"  
>"how exactly did he get wet!" Dak glares at Jett.<br>"he fell in a puddle." Jett inspects his fingernails as if their more important. Dak rolls his eyes.  
>"whatever. Your an ass, we're over." jett's head snaps up and he glares at Dak, who takes a small step back. I watch Kendall's fingers curl up again and he steps forward to defend Dak and Drake. Dak rubs Drakes back and looks down.<br>"y-you heard me! We're over you selfish bastard!" Jett sneers and points at Dak threatenignly.  
>"NO ONE dumps Jett Stetson!"<br>"well I just did." Dak glares at Jett, who's face turns red and then he babbles something quickly and leaves. We all watch him stomp away and then Dak let's out a sigh of relief.  
>"thank god that's over. Sorry you guys had to be here for that."<br>"nah it's okay." I smile at Dak, who smiles back and then cradles the still whimpering Drake. He sobs into his daddies shoulder and Dak frowns.  
>"sorry guys but I have to go...Drake needs to be changed and have his lunch and nap." he turns and leaves, waving at us before walking backto the Palmwoods. Kendall sighs and looks at me.<br>"so..." he rubs the back of his neck. I smile at him and walk over, slippinga finger into his belt loop, one on his back. I yank him towards me and plant a kiss on his lips.  
>"should we continue what we were doing, upstairs maybe?" I smile and Kendall chuckles.<br>"sure but shouldn't we clean up first?" he gestures towards the picnic.  
>"I got it." my eyes widened as Buddha Bob comes out of nowhere and grabs the picnic blanket, throwing it in a portable dumpster and walking away. I look at Kendall and shrug, jumping on him. He catches me and hurries back to the Palmwoods for our little rendevouz in our bedroom.<br>Cancer, but he would get treated, thank god.  
>Now all we have to do is pray he doesn't get worse by next week's surgery.<p>

**A/N  
>Okay so what do you think?"<strong> 


	6. Chapter 6

A/N  
>Hi guys<br>Sorry about the confusion of my last chapter. I apologize. it wasn't supposed to go to this story but when I was updating, I was distracted by a girl with a crush on me and she made me accidentally post the wrong story.  
>And no, I'm not happy that she likes me.<br>So anyways sorry for the confusion, I was just trying to clear up a few things. I hope you guys understand!  
>Thanks and enjoy!<p>

Kendall's POV

I sighed as my hips went numb in pain. My body tingled for a few minutes before settling and I groaned as I stood up from my place on the couch. I was waiting for Logan to get back from the store and I was kind of lonely. I sighed as I turned the Tv off. It's been two days since the doctor called us, but Jesus, it feels like forever.  
>I has to wait until Tuesday. As of now, it's Saturday. I groaned again. I wanted to get this surgery over with and get back on with my life. I glanced around the apartment, tapping my fingers over our hockey dome. I was so bored, I was seriously considering going to the mall with my mom earlier.<br>Glad I made a different decision on that. I climbed up to the top of the slide and slid down a few times, before I sat down on the floor and sighed. What else to do?  
>I jumped a little when the door was knocked on, but I hurried and stood, practically running to the door to open it. I was desperate to do anything. I was a little confused to see Dak standing there, Drake by his side, holding onto his dad's leg.<br>"hi Kendall."  
>"Oh, hi Dak." I smiled at him and he smiled back, before giving me a little frown. He looked a little pale, with bags appearing under his eyes. Not the Dak Zevon I knew.<br>"hey Dak. Your not looking to good, Drake giving you problems?"  
>"h-haha yea I-I guess," he mumbled before continuing," hey look I gotta go in for a little bit, could you possibly watch Drake for a little while?"<br>"yea, I agreed to didn't I?" I chuckled. He gave me a small smile and looked down at Drake.  
>"Wanna go with uncle Kendall, while Daddy works?"<br>"yay un-kewl Ken-doll!"(1) Drake cried. I smiled and felt my heart beat hard. I leaned down and scooped up Drake, hugging him close.  
>"thanks Kendall. Look all you have to do is feed him, give him a little bath and about an hour for a nap. And then he can play." Dak passed me Drakes diaper bag and gave me a sigh.<br>"oh and Carlos, James and I have been trying to get the twins potty-trained, so if he says he has to go to the bathroom, please help him by-"  
>"think I got it." I laughed. Dak gave me a small smile.<br>"thanks."  
>"anytime." I shut the door behind him, and set Drake down.<br>"hey kiddo, whatcha wanna do?"  
>"I don'na know." he shrugged and I giggled. My heart felt so warm as I picked up the toddler and hugged him.<br>"wanna dance to some music?" he nodded,clapped and jumped up and down at the same time. I laughed at the adorable little kid. I grabbed the remote and turned on the stereo, listening as a song by Skrillex came on. Skrillex was sort of like Dubstep, which was a combination of mixed music and some added words. It was a great song to dance, too, and I watched as Drake jumped around. I smiled and danced around with him.

(Skirllex song: Scary monsters and Nice sprites. Words are reveresed in beginning and not put together as I can't type the music notes, I apologize.)  
>Kuneyats ershinaponen yahh ih ih oh ne<br>Oh ah ih ih ihnuehje uhh yahh  
>dershinaponen yahh ih ih oh ehnoh<br>(Im just like you, you don't need, just like you) [Reversed]  
>YES OH MY GOD!<p>

Kuneyats ershinaponen yahh ih ih oh ne  
>Oh ah ih ih ihnuehje uhh yahh<br>dershinaponen yahh ih ih oh ehnoh  
>YES OH MY GOD!<p>

Kuneyats ershinaponen yahh ih ih oh ne  
>Oh ah ih ih ihnuehje uhh yahh<br>dershinaponen yahh ih ih oh ehnoh uh uhhs  
>Look at us<br>I'm a coward too  
>You don't need to hide my friend<br>For I'm just like you

I flopped down after the song was done and watched Drake as he bounced around, smiling.  
>"having fun?"<br>"uh-huh! Can we watch a mov-e?"  
>"yeah sure! What do you wanna watch?" he waddled over and picked up a movie, looking at it before dropping it and picking up a different one. He smiled and came over, placing the DVD in my lap. I picked it up and smiled as he chose one of my favorites:National Treasure 2(2).<br>I stood and put it in, before I went in to the kitchen to grab something for Drake and I to munch on. I grabbed a bag of chips and walked back out, sitting on the couch. Drake crawled up into my lap, laying his head on my chest. I smiled at the comfort of the child and hugged him as the movie started.

XXXXXXX

After the movie ended, Drake yawned and looked at me.  
>"Hungry, Ken-doll. Eat, pweas?" I smiled and rubbed my eyes. I was sort of tired,too. I set him down and stood, stretching.<br>"Okay, what do you wanna eat, buddy?" he rubbed his eyes and I smiled,rubbing his little chestnut-colored head.  
>"how about a sandwich? Then a bath?" Drake nodded and yawned as he toddled over and climbed up onto the chair. I fixed us two sandwiches, with turkey, mayonaise and lettuce. I handed him it and he chewed it slowly. I gobbled mine, suddenly feeling hungry. I glanced over at Drake to see he was nodding off, and the sight of the little boy sleepy and tired was so cute. I watched as he reached for me, signaling to be held, and I smiled. My heart thudded hard as I scooped him up, walking him to the bathroom.<br>I helped him use the restroom before I made a warm bath for him. I felt a little awkward about washing him, but he helped me a little, so I felt better in the end. This little boy wasn't mine, but the thought of having my own child made my heart hurt. Would Logan ever want a baby? A kid?  
>He did want to be a doctor, and I know I should be happy he's smart and already heading for a career, but...still, how bad would it be?<br>I wrapped a towel around Drake as I dried him quickly, dressing him so he wouldn't get cold. He placed his head against my shoulder as I brushed his hair and when I tried to move him, I noticed the little boy had fallen asleep.  
>I suddenly had an image in my head. One day I could be holding a little girl or boy, watching my own child as they fall asleep. Would they blink and beg me to carry them to bed? Would they nod off and fall asleep on me, just like Drake did? Would they smile every time I come around? Would they laugh when I sang silly songs to them? Would they even look like me?<br>The thought of a little girl or a little boy, golden curls and emerald eyes, brought me to tears. God, for so long now, it feels, that I've longed for a baby. I wouldn't care if they woke up at two in the morning, I would just be happy that I got to hold them close, feed them and kiss them before putting them back in bed.  
>I felt my tears falling down my cheeks and Drake started mumbling against my shoulder. I hurriedly wiped my cheeks and eyes before I lifted Drake up, holding the small body against mine as I took him to mine and Logan's shared room. I laid him downin the bed, sighing as I sniffed. I cleared my eyes and switched into some pajamas, suddenly feeling tired myself. I fixed Drake and laid down beside him, making sure I was laying near him in case he rolled over and fell off the bed. I yanked the cool covers over us and sighed, sinking into the bed.<br>I heard Logan come in about an hour later. He called my name, but I stayed still, curled up around the small child next to me, not wanting to disturb his peaceful sleep. Logan walked in, and I still laid there. I felt his presence as he hovered over us, taking in Drake and I. I listened as Logan sighed a little, muttering something about kids, and "how much trouble they were sometimes, even for their young age" and then I felt his presence loom over us again. I kept my eyes shut.  
>I felt him kiss my cheek and Drake whimpered as the doorbell rang. Logan took him from the bed, and left to give him back to Dak. The warmth next to me was gone, and I felt cold. Logan came back in, but I'd rolled the other way, so when I felt the bed dip, and Logan curl into my back under the blanket, he didn't see my face.<br>And he didn't see the tear that rolled down my cheek either.(3)

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Today was seeming to go by faster than yesterday, and I was glad. Two more days and finally i'd get the surgery I need. I sighed as I walked aimelessy through the mall. I didn't have anything to do today, and Logan shoved me out of the apartment when I was bothering him when he was trying to do his homework. He told me to get out of the house and enjoy some fun, because I won't have any fun for about five-to-seven days after Tuesday.  
>I sighed once more and sat down at the food court, hearing giggling. I squeezed my eyes shut, realizing that I probably shouldve worn a hat and sunglasses, due to the fact I was a celebrity now. I opened my eyes and was attempted to roll them when I saw ten girls, all crowded together and staring at me. They all had their phones out, taking pictures, and I wanted to say something to them but I knew I couldn't. Finally, the giggling started to get under my skin. I stood slowly and started to wander aimlessly again.<br>I heard the giggling and my head started pounding with anger. I stopped and glanced out of my peripheral vision. Yep, they followed me. I continued to walk, not really caring now. But suddenly, I stopped as the cogs in my mind began working. A jewerly store. Like as in diamonds and silver and real gold.  
>I stil wanted to propose to Logan, I just never got time to go out and buy a ring. And I actually had a credit card now, as the guys and I finally paid Gustavo back for everything we broke. He started giving us money now, threatening he would cut us off if we broke anything again.<br>Carlos and James took that threat seriously, and I could understand. They definetly needed the money with five mouths to feed, not to mention Child Support money for Drake and Dak. I smiled as I reached for my wallet, but then I stopped. I realized if the girls followed me inside, they would take pictures and most probably have some juicy gossip for the press.  
>I understood that homosexuals aren't welcome as much as they should be. And I'm not sure how Gustavo will react if he knows I accidentally let it slip that I'm marrying Logan, another male. That could get us into a lot of trouble, as Carlos and James had a rough time with the press with the marriage and babies and all.<br>It took nearly three months after Nathaniel was born to settle the press and explain everything, well the babies and some part of the relationship. They left out A LOT of details.  
>Could ya blame them, though?<br>I sighed as I turned around and approahed the giggling girls, pulling a small scowl.  
>"look, if I give you guys a few autographs and photos, will you promise to stop following me? I'm having a bad day today, okay?" I watched a blonde nod and all her friends followed suit, their mouths open like a bunch of dumbasses. I was handed a pen and a few napkins, and I hurried and scribbled my name and band down. I stood for a few photos and then the girls ran away, giggling,squealing, and crying with joy.<br>I rolled my eyes as I yanked a beanie out of my pocket, and pulled it low over my head, pulling it down a little past my eyebrows. I hurried into the jewerly store, hoping with all my might that I could fine Logan the perfect ring.  
>I just hope he accepts it, and me. I love him so much and I want to spend the rest of my life with him.<br>But, I also hope, one day maybe, we could prove our love even more and start a family.

A/N  
>Review, eh?<br>(1) Um I apologize if the twins in this story are a bit hard to understand but I know little kids have a bit of a problem speaking at such a young age.  
>(2) lol National Treasure is AMAZING!<br>(3) I apologize for the dramatic scene with Kendall if you didn't like it. :/  
>Thanks for reading<p>

FAQ


	7. Chapter 7

A/N  
>Um okay guess the last chap sucked so here's the new one.<p>

Logan's POV

I sighed and stared at Kendall. His eyelids fluttered and his nose twitched. I couldn't help myself as I leaned over, tracing his cheek, brushing a bang from his eyes. I cupped his cheek, loving the feeling of his skin beneath my fingers, the smooth skin of his baby face. I leaned close and pressed my lips to Kendall's still lips.  
>I watched Kendall's eyes fluttered open and he smiled as he spotted me. His lips instantly began moving against mine, rubbing our lips together as his hands moved down my back. He gently gripped my hips and pulled me up to sit on his lap and straddle him. I blushed, feeling my cheeks heat up as I placed my hands on Kendall's chest to support myself over him as we continued kissing.<br>I felt the need for air grow and eventually I pulled away. I ran my hands down Kendall's beautiful chest, rubbing his flushed pink nipples. I felt my face heat up again, but Kendall brought one of my hands to his mouth and kissed it.  
>"Baby you are so beautiful." he muttered, and then his hands went up to gently grip my hips, squeezing them and sliding down to my crotch. I groaned as his thumbs pressed gently and rubbed, and then he massaged my crotch. I groaned and moaned, bouncing a little. When I felt Kendall's boner rub against my ass, I bounced a little harder, pressing down hard. I felt his dick prod the area between my cheeks and I groaned.<br>"P-please baby? Please? Can we?" I whispered. I know Kendall's sister and mom were awake, so I didn't want to disturb their morning, but I couldn't help myself.  
>I was scared, bad. Today was Tuesday. Tuesday, surgery day. Kendall was leaving this afternoon, and my stomach churned at the thought. I stared into Kendall's big beautiful eyes and sighed a little. He squeezed my hips a little and smiled, making my heart raise back up a little.<br>"Yea baby. Sure." he smiled at me and leaned forward, pecking my lips as his hand dove into my boxers. I arched my back a little as his cool fingers met my heated flesh.  
>"F-" Kendall's hand came to cover my mouth. He smirked as he leaned closer.<br>"Shh...Be quiet and let me do allll the work."

XXXXXXXXXXX

After our beautiful love-making, and a quick make out and romp in the shower, we washed and got dressed. I blow-dried my hair and left the bathroom, walking into our shared room to find Kendall sitting there. He was dressed and sat by a small duffle bag on the bed. He looked down at the ground and I noticed the courage he had from earlier was missing.  
>He looked...terrified.<br>I hurried over when I heard a small sob and I clung to him. He held me close and I gasped when he squeezed me.  
>"God, Logie I'm so freaking scared!" I held him closer and sighed.<br>"I know baby. But it'll be over before you think."  
>"Do you think so?" he gazed at me with those beautiful emerald eyes of his and I smiled, giving him hope. His lips turned upwards and I kissed Kendall on the lips.<br>"Come on. Let's get you ready."

XXXXXXXXXXX

Kendall's leg jiggled up and down, him biting his thumbnail. I stared at him from the other side of the car, my own worry for my boyfriend growing. I reached across the car, and gripped his hand gently. He jumped and looked at me.  
>"Hey."<br>"hey." he smiled gently.  
>"Look you'll be okay, I promise." I leaned across the backseat and kissed him.<br>"EW, guys, not in the car." Katie groaned, rolling her eyes as she turned around in the front seat. I frowned at her.  
>"Thanks for the support, baby sister." Kendall scoffed.<br>"uh-huh." she returned to her DS game, tapping the screen and pushing buttons.  
>"Don't worry, Kendall. I promise, we'll be there when you wake up." Mama Knight smiled at him in the rear view mirror and Kendall settled back into the seat.<p>

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So, basically, you have benign prostate cancer. Which means, we're going to remove the parts of your prostate that are infected, and the other parts with the cancer cells?"  
>I watched Kendall's eyes go large and he shivered gently.<br>"a-and how will you do t-that?" the doctor, a new one by the name of , smiled warmly.  
>"The surgeon will insert a scope through the tube that carries urine from your bladder out of the penis. This tube is called the urethra. A special cutting tool is placed through the scope. It is used to remove part of your prostate gland using electricity." Kendall went pale, and I was tempted to squeeze his hand. I turned to the doctor.<br>"And have you decided on what anesthia?"  
>"There are different kinds?" Kendall cried. I ignored my boyfriend, who started shivering a little. Despite the times we'd spent in the hospital from hockey as little kids, Kendall ALWAYS had a HUGE fear of doctors and hospitals. He absolutely despised them.<br>"General anesthesia, or spinal?" the doctor looked a little confused, but Kendall cut him off as he opened his mouth.  
>"W-What's the difference?" I turned to Kendall and smiled warmly at him.<br>"It's okay. General is medicine that makes you sleep, and be pain- free. Spinal just keeps you awake and pain-free."  
>"G-general! I-I choose general!" Kendall looked so scared. I walked to him and sighed, sitting next to him on the bed. At the moment I didn't care who was in the room, Mama Knight, Katie, or the doctor. I traced Kendall's wet cheek, wet from his tears, and I smiled.<br>"I promise, you'll be fine."  
>Kendall looked at me and smiled when he saw the truth behind my eyes. He squeezed my hand.<br>"I'm fine if you're here with Me." he mumbled. I smiled and Kendall took a deep breath, before turning to . He looked a little shocked, but cleared his throat as Kendall smiled.  
>"I'm ready."<p>

XXXXXXXXXXX

I watched as Mama Knight walked back and forth, muttering and chewing her nails. Katie sat still, kicking her legs back and forth, tapping on her DS.  
>"How can you play at a time like this?" I frowned at her. She never turned away from her game, but frowned.<br>"I trust doctors, unlike Kendall. He's going to be perfectly fine." she went back to her game and I looked at her mom.  
>"Mama Knight?" I stood and walked over to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. She wiped her eyes quickly.<br>"Yes?"  
>"He'll be fine. I checked this hospital; it's one of the best in Hollywood." I whispered. She nodded and looked at the doors they had taken Kendall through not long ago. She stared for a moment before turning towards me. She chewed her thumbnail and rubbed her eyes.<br>"How long does the surgery take?"  
>"An hour."<br>"Post-op?"  
>"About an hour."<br>"And how long will it probably take him to wake up from the medicine?"  
>"Another hour." I whispered. Mama Knight gave a small sigh as she sat down.<br>"How long has he been gone?"  
>"About thirty minutes."<p>

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

As soon as the doctor appeared, a surgeon at his side dressed in scrubs, we all stood and hurried over.  
>"Is he okay?" Mama Knight asked.<br>"Did the surgery go fine?" I said quickly. I clutched my hand to my chest and bit my lip.  
>"Yes the surgery went perfectly fine. About a week of radiation and he'll be ready to go home." the surgeon smiled and I suddenly had another thought.<br>"w-what if the cancer does a relapse?" the doctors glanced at each other. sighed.  
>"Most likely he'll need chemotherapy, and then his prostate gland will need to be removed."<br>"And if that doesn't work?" Mama Knight had her hands clasped together in a tight grip. Katie stood behind her mom, her eyebrows knitted together. I knew the eleven-year old was smart, but she clearly couldn't understand, and it made her upset. gave us a grim look.  
>"Chemotherapy continues until..." he trailed off. We all looked at each other with grim looks and Katie stepped forward.<br>"When can we see him?"  
>"You may see him now. He is in room 313." the doctors nodded at Katie as she smiled.<br>"But be careful, he might still be woozy from the anesthetic." the surgeon said before turning and walking away. We waited until they left, before I ran for Kendall's room, ignoring the doctors around me. The nurses yelled and I dodged people in wheelchairs. I slid open Kendall's door and stopped when I saw him in the bed.  
>He was asleep, his face pale, his eyelids fluttering gently. His nose didn't twitch and he had a few I.V's hooked up to his wrist, one in his arm. I gently walked over, my hand clutching my chest as my heart thumped hard in my chest. I slowly walked over, pulling the chair close. I sat down slowly, before I reached over and gently grasped Kendall's hand.<br>I gently stroked Kendall's cheek, giving a grim smile to myself as I waited for my lover to wake up.

A/N  
>Ehhhhhh sort of dramatic but oh well...next chapter will be the surgery and stuff in Kendall's POV so be looking out for my next update!<p>

FAQ


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N**  
><strong>Hey sorry I didn't get to update this one as quick. Been pretty busy.<strong>  
><strong>Lyrics are owned by members of Avenged Sevenfold.<strong>

**Kendall's POV**

My nerves jumbled, and my stomach churned as the nurses pushed my bed into the prepping room. They put something on the inside of my IV and I turned to look at Logan,Katie,and my mom. My mom gently held my hand, Logan on the other, Katie standing at the foot of my bed.

"Im really scared." I whispered.

Logan's eyes went wide and he leaned over, hurriedly pressing a kiss to my cheek before he stood again. I understood about the publicity thing, with the band and all, but right now I really wanted to take Logan in my arms, let him kiss and comfort me as I weep.

"Youll be okay, I promise." we held hands; keeping them hidden in a bunched up part of my blanket. Logan smoothed his thumb over my hand and sighed.

"You'll be here when I get out, right?" I bit my lip as he smiled at me, cupping my cheek gently.

"Yea. Me, your mom, Katie, I'll even call James and Carlos. We'll all be here for you, Kendall." I stared into his beautiful brown eyes and felt the urge to grab him and hold him close. Ah, fuck the public.

I grabbed Logan with one arm, pulling him close and planting a big kiss on his lips. He was a bit in shock when I did but slowly blushed as he stood back up straight. My mom laughed a little, smiling at us as she wiped her tears. Katie gave me a small grin, but then we all stopped when my doctor came to my bedside.

"Its time to get you into the OR."

XXXXXXXXX

Even though it had only been a few minutes since I'd been wheeled into this operating room, it felt like forever. I curled my hand gently, wishing Logans fingers filled the spaces between mine right now. They placed a blue cloth over me, where I lay on my side. I didn't feel comfortable at all, but at the same time i felt a prick in my back. I gasped in pain, knowing it was just spinal medicine. But it hurt so bad.

A nurse appeared at my side, placing a blue cap over my hair. She smiled beneath her surgical mask and bent down next to me. Everything was a little blurry, from the mixing of my tears and pain.

"Everything will be fine, honey."

"Im scared." I whispered. I sounded like a dying kid, but at the moment I didn't care. She gave me another warm smile, slipping off her mask for a moment to talk to me.

"Okay, you're only going to be out for about an hour. I promise everything will be fine." she lifted a face mask with a small tube connected. She gently placed it over my mouth and nose.

"Count backwards from ten." I blinked as I felt the oncoming feeling of anesthisia taking over me.

"T-Ten...nine...eight...s-s-seven," it was getting harder to keep my eyes open," six...fiv..vvee...four...three..twooo..." everything went black before I could say one.

XXXXXXXXXX

I heard a few voices revolving around me and everything was dark. God, what was everyone doing? It wasn't even time to wake up! A small steady beeping could be heard a few moments later. I gently groaned, my eyes feeling to heavy to open.

"Carlos, shut up and Logan..." I yawned," turn off the alarm.."

"Ken-Doll!"

I felt a warm weight appear suddenly on my leg and I opened my eyes. Eveythting was sort of hazy for a moment, then I discovered I was in the hospital. Or more specifically, a hospital bed. I glanced down to see a small, Latin looking toddler on my leg. She clapped at me.

"Ken-doll!" I blinked and everything came back and hit me, the anesthisia finally wearing off. I smiled and scooped Veronica up.

"Hello, sweetie!" she burst out laughing when I did. Then I looked up to discover everyone standing around.

"Hey buddy! Welcome back!" James laughed. I smiled and turned to see Carlos standing next to him.

"Hey, Kendall. How are you feeling?" he gently bounced Nathaniel on his  
>hip, baby carrier forgotten in the corner of the room.<p>

Carlos smiled as Nate made a "Uh-huh-huh" noise, going "huh" everytime he was bounced. Drake clung to Carlos's leg, before turning and climbing onto the bed to join his sister. He smiles at me and pats my leg.

"You get betta." he said sweetly. I smiled and wrapped my arms around the little toddler.

"Thanks Drake." after I let go of him, I turned to see my mom holding a tray of food. She set it down on my lap and kissed my forehead.

"Thanks mom."

"Youre welcome. I thought you might be hungry."

"I am! I haven't eaten anything since lunch two days ago!" I reached forward and snatched up the sandwich she bought me. I hurriedly unwrapped it and bit deep into it. I smiled at the yummy taste. I couldn't eat for almost two days because of the surgery, so it was wonderful to fill my stomach.

"Oh this is good!"I cried.

I heard a small laugh and turned to see Logan. He was laughing at me as I chewed the yummy sandwich. He came over and plopped beside me on the bed, wiping a smear of mayonaise off my chin.

"Hey. You seem happy."

"Yeah, I guess. Thank you guys for being here for me."

"Youre welcome."

"Welcome."

"Well-com!" Veronica called. I laughed and hugged the toddler, planting a wet kiss on her forehead. Her cheeks were red when I did and she laughed. I turned to Logan and smiled as he did the same to me.

"So the doctor says you can leave on Friday." he smiled.

"Oh, great." I huffed. I hated the hospital.

"Aw don't worry honey we've brought your guitar and your laptop." my mom said as Carlos moved from where he was standing and James placed my guitar on my lap.

"Oh! Yay!" I picked it up as the doctor came in.

"Hi Kendall." he smiled at everyone before he walked over and picked up my medical chart.

"Hello everyone. I'm sorry to disrupt but I just needed to check up on my patient." he hummed for a moment. Then he smiled, checking my monitor.

"Hm you seem to be fine. We'll start your radiation treatments tomorrow morning." he smiled and left. I turned to look at Logan, my stomach suddenly hurting. I set down my sandwich.

"Um...Logan...do radiation treatments hurt?" he smiled and hugged me.

"No, not at all." I let out a sigh and picked up my guitar again.

"Who wants to hear a song?"

"Me! Me!" Veronica bounced gently, throwing her hand into the air. I laughed and strummed gently.

"Never feared for anything  
>Never shamed but never free<br>A light that healed the broken heart  
>With all that it could<p>

Lived a life so endlessly  
>Saw beyond what others see<br>I tried to heal your broken heart  
>With all that I could<br>Will you stay?  
>Will you stay away forever?<p>

How do I live without the ones I love?  
>Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned<br>Place and time always on my mind  
>I have so much to say but you're so far away<p>

Plans of what our futures hold  
>Foolish lies of growing old<br>It seems we're so invincible  
>The truth is so cold<p>

A final song, a last request  
>A perfect chapter laid to rest<br>Now and then I try to find  
>A place in my mind<br>Where you can stay  
>You can stay awake forever<p>

How do I live without the ones I love?  
>Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned<br>Place and time always on my mind  
>I have so much to say but you're so far away<p>

Sleep tight I'm not afraid (not afraid)  
>The ones that we love are here with me<br>Lay away a place for me (place for me)  
>'Cause as soon as I'm done I'll be on my way<br>To live eternally

How do I live without the ones I love?  
>Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned<br>Place and time always on my mind  
>And the light you left remains but it's so hard to stay<br>When I have so much to say and you're so far away

I love you, you were ready, the pain is strong and urges rise  
>But I'll see you when He let's me<br>Your pain is gone, your hands untied

So far away  
>And I need you to know<br>So far away  
>And I need you to, need you to know"<p>

I smiled as everyone around me clapped.

"Wondeful sweetheart!" I smiled at my mom and then I turned to Logan.

"you're amazing, babe." he kissed my cheek and I smiled.

"I know."

XXXXXXXXXXXX

My radiation treatments went by smoothly, except the sickness from it.

I couldn't hold things in my stomach for a few hours after every treatment, and I constantly had a small fever. I also hated the fact my hair fell out. It wasn't completely balding, but strands and a few clumps fell out. I knew I would need a hat for a while.

I sighed as I turned off my lap. Today would be my last day in the hospital, thank god. Now all I had to do was sleep. I squeezed my eyes shut as my ceiling lights were turned on and a nurse rolled a cart in. I groaned and sat up as she handed me a cup of pills. I stared down at them.

"All of them?"

"Mmhmm." she gently tapped the cart as I swallowed some water with the pills. The past three days have made my stomach feel a little funny with the pills. I didn't like them at all. I sighed when she left and curled back up into the position I liked to sleep in.

My phone vibrated and I grabbed it, to hurry and try and get some sleep. I smiled when I saw a text from Logan.

-Love you, miss you, can't wait 2 c u.  
>Logan<p>

I texted back a response almost like it and I went to sleep. I depserately couldn't wait to see Logan tomorrow, even though he came everyday to see me. He stayed every hour of the visiting hours and hated leaving me. I loved just talking to him, just talking about things we sometimes never got to. We caught up on a few subjects and Logan even taught me a few things during the three days I was stuck in the hospital.

I don't think there was anybody better than my Logan.

*******BTR********BTR*******

The next day came and went in a hurry.

Kendall hurried and packed, sliding into his clothes. Logan smiled as they linked hands and Kendall grabbed the prescription pills he was given at the pharmacy.

"Okay, let's go." he urged Logan. But Logan stopped and looked at the doctor.

"How long is he supposed to take these pills?" Logan took the pills and inspected them.

"Two and a half capsules a day, for around two months. We'll check up on him in a moth to see if anything needs to be changed or if he possibt might need radiation treatments again. Good luck." the doctor nodded at us before turning and leaving us. Logan frowned but turned towards me with the pills.

"Hmm. I wonder what's in these." I gently took the pills from him and dropped them in my pocket.

"Dont worry about it." I kissed his forehead and we linked hands as we left the hospital. For some reason though, I didn't really want to hold hands with Logan. I felt...uncomfortabe. I felt uncomfortable in my own clothes.

I shook the feeling off as Logan drove us home.

**A/N **

**Review eh? **


	9. Chapter 9

A/N

Hi guys  
>Sorry this is late<br>Been working on finals and my EOC exams for school  
>Haven't had time to catch up<br>Please enjoy.

Part 1 of 2

Kendalls POV

My eyes opened at the sound of bird whistling and I smiled sleepily.

I curled into the warmth of my bed, sighing into my pillow a little.

The softness of the bed made my eyes flutter dangerously.

I was about to let sleep overcome me when the door behind me crashed open. I laid there as Carlos bounded over, hit the bed and then began jumping up and down. I bounced all along my bed, scared I was about to fall.

"Carlos! Please, stop!" he flopped down on top of me and I groaned a little. He leaned close with a big smile all over his tan face and I leaned back. He was invading my personal space just a little too much.

"Come on! Mama Knights making chocolate chip waffles and bacon!" he hopped off, fell on his face, and then stood and ran from the room. I sat up and smiled a little, shaking my head. I rubbed my shoulders and shivered a bit, afterwards, though.

It's only been three weeks since I've been home and everything started to seem odd. I was extremley touchy and sensitive. I basically made a bubble around myself. Logan was convinced it had something to do with my surgery, and lately I was coming around to the idea, too. It took a lot of persuading from Logan just for him to be able to hold my hand or even kiss me.

I crack my back and sigh a little in happiness as I feel wide awake. I stand up slowly and go to the bathroom.

After I relieve myself, I wash my hands and then I take the pills out of my medicine cabinet. I have to take four pills a day- a pain killer, some type of pill for the radiation treatments to work with, and two other strange pills. I wasn't really listening about what they had in them.

I swallow them with a glass of water and then inspect my hair. I've been using James's Cuda hair growth products, even though I hate Cuda, just to grow my hair back. My hair had almost returned to it's normal state in just three weeks. I was glad, because I thought if would take longer.

I leave the room and slid down the slide, hopping off and running over to throw myself onto a chair. My mom puts a plate of waffles and bacon in front of me, and then kissed me on the head.

"Morning Kendall. Sleep well?"

"Yea I did. Thanks mom." I take a bite out of the bacon and chew it. The waffles were amazing and I had a second round. I was almost done with my fourth waffle when Logans cell phone went off. He turned and looked at James and Carlos, who had been camping out at our apartment for the past few weeks, just to keep me company while I gained my strength back. They also were a big help with helping me when I first came home.

James carried me around the first few days and Carlos had his kids attack me with love every morning. I was happy around them and I loved helping them learn. I was so into these kids, I'm sure Nate will be walking by his birthday with all the help I've given him.

Carlos had eaten already and was now giving Nathaniel a bottle and some baby food. Dak had Drake this week and Veronica was still asleep. James came out of the bathroom and sat down beside Carlos, kissing his cheek and then rubbing Nate's head.

"Yes...okay...we'll be there." Logan closed his cell phone and I was surprised that no one heard Gustavo yelling.

"That was Kelly. I guess Gustavo made a new song and wants us to come in and record it."

"Oh, man. We were gonna spend the day together!" James pouted a little and Carlos laughed. He poked James on the nose as Veronica walked out of the guest bedroom. She wore a little Mermaid Ariel nightgown, her hair in pigtails. She toddled over to me and I picked her up, bringing her close. I kissed her head and bounced her on my knee.

"Yeah, I had made plans for Kendall and I,too. But look we go in and get the job done and we'll be out before you guys know it!" Logan tried reassuring them. But Carlos sighed and stood, rocking Nate in his arms.

"I guess so. James and I were going to take the kids to the pool or maybe the park, since Nate is over his cough." Veronica smiled and clapped.

"Pool! Pool!" Nate laughed at his sister and put his fist in his mouth. James laughed and took his baby, bouncing him gently.

Logan chuckled and leaned forward to peck my cheek, but my sudden insecurity made me pull away. I heard him sigh a little and I feel a bit guilty. I watch Logan walk to our room and I suddenly hope I'm not screwing this up.

****BTR******BTR******

We all got dressed and showered, the ones who hadn't already, and we all headed to Rocque Records. As soon as we were out of the car, Veronica grabbed my hand and clung to me. I smiled and felt my heart grow with warmth. I held her hand tightly, giving a "aw" of happiness when she smiles up at me and giggles.

We go inside and Gustavo takes one look at the kids.

"No,no,no! What are THEY doing here? DOGS!" he glares at us but Carlos sighs. James bounces a crying Nathaniel and glares at Gustavo.

"We couldn't leave them on such short notice. Besides you wanted us in here so early."

Gustavo opened his mouth to yell, but Kelly hit him and gave us a smile.

"Thats fine guys. Here, I'll take the kids and you guys go record that song." Veronica hid behind my leg as Kelly came forward. She tugged on my pant leg.

"Ken-doll, I's scared." I smiled again. This little girl was so adorable!

I felt my inner girl squeal a little and then I knelt beside her.

"If you wanna go swimming, you gotta go with Kelly for a little while, 'kay?"  
>She thought for a moment and then smiled. Kelly took Nathaniel in her arms, looking down at the baby as he cooed at her. Veronica held her hand and I watched them walk off as we all stepped into the recording booth.<p>

As we stepped into the recording booth, I suddenly felt claustrophobic. I gazed around at the small room and felt sweat prickle the back of my head.

"Kendall?"

I turned and saw Logan giving me a weird look. He had worry in his eyes and I suddenly realized I was probably scaring him. I tried giving Logan a reassuring smile but he didn't seem to believe it.

"I-I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

I gave him a faltering smile.

"Yea."

"You look sick."

"Probably just what I ate." I turned away before he could say anything else and I stepped inside the booth. We all slipped our large headphones on and the music started. I recognized the music as our sing Elevate, and I sighed a little. I actually liked the song but the problem with recording songs is since they go on radio or online, you could record the same song fifteen to a hundred times.

"Elevate a little higher  
>Let's throw a party in the sky and celebrate<br>Elevate it till we flyin'  
>Mo-move your feet until you levitate,<br>Come let's elevate

(James)  
>Forget about your day<br>Under the Milky Way  
>I know a place where we can go, oh oh."<p>

I suddenly feel queasy and I glance around. I feel really closed in. I press the sick feeling away and continue singing.

"(Logan)  
>No need to be afraid<br>Come on i'll demonstrate  
>Take you to outer space<br>Here we go, Here we go."

I start shaking. The walls seem to move a little and my arm hair prickles as my insecurity is spreading through my body. I feel James press a bit closer to me, trying to get closer to the mic. I feel like I need to back away, he feels way to close for comfort.

"Woah oh, woah oh.  
>Woah oh, woah oh.<br>If you want to partay,

Woah oh, woah oh.  
>Woah oh, woah oh.<br>I know you're down

Woah oh, woah oh.  
>Woah oh, woah oh.<br>If you wanna partay,  
>If you wanna partay,<p>

(CHORUS)  
>Elevate a little higher<br>Let's throw a party in the sky and celebrate  
>Elevate it till we flyin'<br>Mo-move your feet until you levitate,  
>Come let's elevate<p>

Elevate,  
>Elevate.<p>

(Carlos)  
>We're floatin' in the air<br>Look at the view from here  
>Show you a world you never seen before"<p>

I try to ignore everything as I open my mouth to sing.

"(Kendall)  
>We're dancin' in the stars<br>No matter where we are  
>You better b-"<p>

My stomach lurches and I realize I can't do it. I cup my mouth and run out of the booth. I slam into the bathroom door and I fall to my knees in front of a toilet. I grip the porcelain sides, not really caring to deal with sanity right now. I take deep breaths to steady myself.

It felt like everything was moving around me, and everyone in the booth seemed to be crowding my personal space.

I felt a hand rubbing my back and I turned to see Logan squatting behind me with a worried look dotting his face.

"Oh, baby, are you okay?"

I nod and let out a sigh as I stand up on shaky legs. Logan wraps and arm around me and I smile, leaning into him. I tuck my face into the crook of his neck and inhale his scent.

"Im okay now that you're here."

"Cheesy ass."

"you know you love it." we laugh as he guides me over to the sink.

I splash water on my face and my cell phone vibrates in my pocket, startling me. I look at Logan and he smiles, not noticing my phone going off yet. I peck his lips and lean over the counter.

"You gonna be okay?"

"Yea. Go on out there. I'll be out in a second." he raises an eyebrow suspiciously at me.

"You sure?"

"Yea. It...was just too hot in the booth."

"Oh...Okay." he smiles and pecks my cheek. I smile and feel my cheeks heat up when he leaves. I touch my cheek and feel my heart beat wildly.  
>I sigh in content, then shake my head. Lately my hormones have been out of wack. I'm guessing it's just because-<p>

My phone vibrates again and I open it, smiling when i recognize the number. I flip open the phone and smile.

"Hello, this is Kendall Knight speaking."

", this is the manager of Spago(1) and we just want to recheck and make sure we had your reservations right. That'll be this Friday, April 11th. Am I correct?" the high voice of the manager made me happy. I smiled.

"Yes, thank you ma'am."

I shut my phone off and shivered in happiness. Who knew proposing to someone could be this great?

*****BTR*****BTR*****

The whole week, my nerves were stir crazy.

My insecurity and my personal space really mattered to me right now; I couldn't stand someone getting too close. And sanity is freaking me out like never before. I have no clue what's up.

I sigh and focus back on scrubbing this pan. It's been driving me off the grid with anger. It won't get clean. I scrub harder and rinse the pan with warm water. If anybody saw me like this, they would have thought they were in a different universe. I set the harsh pan down and move on to the last plate.

I let out a less-than manly scream when Logan wraps his arms around my waist quickly. He squeezes me and then I gasp. I feel Logans breath against my neck and I shiver. We haven't been this close in weeks. I'm not used to it. My body feels a little reproachful, and my hair sticks up in the back of my neck.

I love Logan, I truly do, but I don't think now is a good time. My body in alert mode and it doesn'ti really feel right. I whimper when Logan grabs my arms and gently forces me down on the counter, my arms sliding across the surface.

I shake a little when he starts humping me.

"God, youre sexy. So. Fucking. Sexy!" he emphasizes every word by thrusting up fast.

"W-Wait! Logan!" I gasp when I feel his hand fumbling with his belt and I squirm.

"Kendall, ugh, move more. Y-you're rubbing me and it f-feels good!"

"N-no-Logan! Get off!" I scream and thrash hard as Logans belt comes off and his pants fall down. Logans humps me a few times as I scream at him, but then I hit him.

"I said GET OFF!"

He stumbles back and is panting, giving me a confused look. I sit there with shaking knees and I pant gently for air as the door opens.

Logan quickly pulls up his pants and leaves tha apartment as my mother walks in. She looks at Logan oddly and then looks at me. I open my mouth to say something but she stops me.

"Dont even say anything." she sighs as she walks off to her room.

"Kids; their giving me gray hairs." she mumbles.

I stare at the door for a long time, growing angry at myself. I grip the sides of my head and break down, tears falling out of my eyes as I walk off to my room. I slam the door behind me a little and lay down on my bed. I really wish things weren't going this bad.

I still hope Logan will say yes.

Logans POV

I feel like like exploding, or at least yelling at someone.

For nearly a month Kendall was acting like...well, like a girl! He was always freaking sensitive, touchy. He broke down if someone said something toward him as a joke, insulting, but still a joke!

What happened to the tough, cunning, and caring Kendall I loved? Was he somehow misplaced? I'm starting to wonder if his prostate wasn't the only thing the doctors did surgery on. I sigh and sit down at a random table out by the pool. I drum my fingers on the table in frustration before I lay my head down.

"Hey, Logan."

I look up and discover Camille standing over me. She has a bikini on and has her chest thrust towards me a little. I want to groan; Camille isn't interesting anymore.

I mean sure, it was nice while it lasted, but we weren't compataible! Not with her crazy antics and frequent slaps. Kendall was so much better, the only slaps he gave me were for-

I felt my body grow a little hot and I cut off the random sex thought. I realize I can't just walk out of here with a very conspicuous bulge in my jeans. I tune back into Camille, who's been talking nonstop. I tuned her out to think but now I zero back in.

"-Cancelled, so I was wondering if we could do anything Friday night?"

"Yeah, sure. Whatever." I mumbled. She squealed and kissed my cheek, making my eyes to wide. I backed away a little as she ran off and I hurriedly wiped my cheek of her lip gloss.

"Log-An?" I turn to see Dak, Drake, Carlos, and Veronica in the pool. Veronica and Drake are decked with pool floaties and Dak is swimming around his son. Carlos glances between Camille and I before giving me a stern look.

"Dont start drama, Logie. It won't end well."

"Im not! I'm not! S-she kissed me first!" I wave my hands around defensively and Carlos relaxes a little.

"Alright, but be careful. Seriously, she still has the hots for you." Carlos makes the water bounce a little as Veronica bobs on the made waves. She laughs in happiness, and I smile a little at her. Drake is splashing Dak with water and I spot James on the shallow end with Nate, both just in the water enough.

I've never really thought about it until now, but I'm suddenly wondering what it's like to be a parent. A lot of people I know are parents, not just teenagers though, and it sometimes makes me feel a little left out.

Besides, what's it like? To hold your own flesh and blood?

I don't know, and I hope I don't have to know for a while.

I still have my career ahead of me! I can't be thinking about babies at a time like this!

I sigh again as I leave the pool area and ride in the elevator back to 2J. My thoughts travel over to Kendall and I grow a little angry again. I suddenly wonder how he feels about kids. During those weeks James and Carlos stayed over, he seemed to be around their kids frequently. Whether they were playing or learning or even reading a book, he was there.

It's probably just him being him.

I open the front door to our apartment and walk in, kicking my shoes off by the front door. I climb the stairs and head into Kendall's and my shared room, opening it to find him laying in bed. He's sniffling a little and I feel a sudden twang of guilt strike me. I make my way over to him and sit down beside him.

He tenses a little as I rub his back but he eventually relaxes into it.

"Kenny, did I do something wrong? Look I'm sorry about that, it's just my hormones talking. I'm really sorry. I hope you can forgive me for what I did."

I watch as Kendall rolls over and rubs his eyes.

"Its okay. My hormones are messed up, too." we smile at each other and I lean close to press a kiss to Kendalls pink, plump lips. Kendall moaned gently and I felt my length harden again.

"F-fuck." I pull away and Kendall smirks. He rubs the bulge in my jeans and I throw my head back as he rubs harder. He stops and I growl at him.

"Kendall!"

"Too bad. This is payback." He laughs and I hurry to the bathroom as he laughs.

"Hormones, hormones,Logie!"

*****BTR*****BTR*****

It's finally Friday and we're all lounging around in the apartment. Katie is on her DS and Mama Knight is on the computer shopping. Kendalls on our bedroom and I'm watching a medical documentary on TV.

But I'm not really paying attention, because my mind is on Kendall.

Yesterday he was jumpy and today he can barely be near me. I'm starting to wonder if it's me.

My heart twitches at the thought of Kendall leaving me again. I was destroyed when he did that, and it hurt even worse when he lusted for Carlos.

It didn't take me long to forgive him and for a while I regretted that, but when Kendall showed me how much he truly loved me, I couldn't help myself. I'm glad Kendall and I are together again, but the way he's been acting has me thinking. He acted like this after he raped Carlos, twitchy and nervous.

Is he cheating on me?

I shake my head. No, he wouldn't do such a thing! Not again. He promised.

I nibble my nail in thought. I try to focus back on the documentary when m phone buzzes and Kendall sits down beside me at the same time. He throws an arm around me and pecks my cheek.

"hey baby."

"Hi." I pull my phone out of my pocket as he does.

"Hey keep yourself free tonight, I have special plans for us." he nuzzles my neck and I moan a little as he nibbles a pressure point on my neck.

"K-Kendall..." I check my messages and groan when I drop my phone as Kendall kisses my neck softly. I suddenly wonder where all his insecurity and touching isses have gone to when my phone buzzes again.

"Kendall, okay,okay!" I laugh.

"Ill stay open tonight." he pecks my cheek again and suddenly nods at Mama Knight. I wonder what that was for as I pick up my phone again.

I check my phone and groan when I realize it's Camille. I really don't feel like talking to her right now. I'm hot and bothered and I need to go start getting ready to leave.

I delete her messages and scoot off to the bathroom.

*****BTR*****BTR******

After a quick shower, I yank on some black skinny jeans and a red dress shirt. I put on a black tie and a black fedora. My Vans are pulled on as Kendall exits the bedroom. I smile at how hot he looks and he blushes a little. He wears light skinny jeans with converse and a V-neck sweater with a scarf around his neck. It hangs down around his chest.

"Hey." I whisper.

"Hey." he walks over and bends down to drop a kiss on my lips. He gently squeezes my hips and I mumble against his lips, suddenly noticing something.

"Where are Mama Knight and Katie?"

"Left." he squeezes my hand and pulls me up to my feet. I laugh and he pulls me out of the apartment. As we step out, I hear someone calling my name. I turn around as Camille comes close. She looks between Kendall and I, her eyes landing on our linked hands. She glares a little and then crosses her arms.

"Logan, we were supposed to do something today."

"Oh..." I glance between her and Kendall.

Time to make a choice.

Derinetely Kendall.

"Sorry, I promised Kendall. We have plans." she glares at Kendall.

"Fine. Let's hang out later."

"Ill think about it."

This time she glares at me, too, before she turns around and stomps away. I arch an eyebrow but I shrug and hold kendalls hand closer.

*****BTR*****BTR*******

"So where are we going?"

"Surprise."

"Whats the occasion?"

"Surprise."

"Can I at least know if it's cheap or not?"

"Surprise." kendall chuckles as we continue to drive. We pass every restauarant that's cheap. I'm expecting to be pulled into a Wendy's, McDonalds or some other fast food restaraunt, but we don't. We start passing really expensive places, good shops that are filled with expensive things like Gucci.

I realize we're in a really good part of town. This is we're most celebrities are found, and where most really expensive, really really expensive restaraunts are.

When we stop in front of a restaruant I've only seen on TV, I look at Kendall with a dropped jaw.

"Kendall! No this is too much!"

I look up at the sign, Spago, and cover my mouth with my hand. Kendall grabs my other one and I look at him. He kisses my hand and smiles.

"No, you deserve this."

We get out of the car, me with shaky legs, and Kendall links our arms.

"h-How did you afford this?"

"Surprise." he smirks as I pout at him and he pecks my lips.

"Come on." we walk inside and Kendall takes us up to the front stand.

"Knight, party of twelve."

"Twelve?" I look at him and he smiles and tugs me along.

We are lead into the middle of the restaurant, where a long table sits. I'm shocked when I see everyone, from Gustavo,Kelly, Mama Knight, Katie, Dak, Carlos and James and their kids. The baby sits in a highchair and Veronica and Drake are seated in booth chairs.

Everyone smiles at us as Kendall seats us. I stare around at everyone as our first meal is served.

"W-Why is this happening?" I glance back and forth between everyone as we eat the steak and other things on the plate, though im not really paying attention. The food mixes in my mouth and gives me a heavenly taste, but i continue to watch everyone.

"Hun," Mama Knight starts,"we all came here for a special reason."

"Yeah, Dogs! Get it out!" Gustavo yelled but Kelly slapped him.

"Give him a moment." Kelly smiles at us, but I'm still confused.

"guys what's going on?"

Kendall sets aside his fork and stands up by me. He taps his glass and chuckles as Gustavo rolls his eyes.

"Ive known Logan for a long time. We're...best friends. Boyfriends. soulmates." he turns to me and holds my hand.

"if anyone took a look at Logan they would see a smart kid,but just a kid. I see him as a smart, beautiful person who deserves the world. Logan," he looks at me with those beautiful eyes of his," I love you and I have the most important question ever for you."

He kneels, reaches into his pocket and I feel tears brim as I suddenly realize what's happening. I cover my mouth with one hand as my tears roll down my cheeks. He opens the box and I give out a small sob of happiness.

"Will you marry me?"

I nod over and over again, sobbing just a little in happiness as Kendall slides the beautiful, double-band three diamond ring onto my finger.

"y-yes. Yes!" I cry and throw my arms around Kendall. He lifts me off the ground and swings me around before dipping me, a hand on my back. He kisses me deeply and most of the restaurant claps. The others who didn't are probably disgusted, I know, but nothing matters right now.

Nothing but Kendall and I.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N

Okay here's part two I guess.

I'm going to head to the part I'm sure everyone is waiting for ;)

Part 2 of 2

Kendall's POV

Logan shoved us into our hotel room I had rented that night and he slammed me against the door.

I gasped when he started dry-humping me and his cock rubbed against mine. Our bulges pressed together and I tossed my head back in pleasure. I moaned and smacked my head repeatedly against the door when Logan started nibbling on my neck.

I slid my hands up his sides and he gasped, and shivered gently. I moved my head down and kissed up the side of his jaw. He groaned and tilted his head to the side to give me more room as I stuck out my tongue and pressed the tip to his skin. I lick up and down and he moans and squeezes my hips.

He shoves me back gently and my ass bopped gently against the door.

"Logan...ugh!" I groaned as he slid his hand up my shirt.

"F-fuck me..." he stopped and pulled away. I groaned as he pushed his upper torso away from me and pinned me to the door with his hips. His hands went behind his back and he smirked a little. I growled and tried to move but everytime I did he would thrust up into me.

Finally I stayed put and Logan smirked wider. He then lowered his smirk and saw how serious I was.

"Baby, are you sure? I mean you've never bottomed-" I leaned forward and kissed him.

"Yes. Which is why I'm going to." I grabbed his hand and gently pulled him deeper into the room. He glanced around and was a little awed at the large room, with a four poster bed, large bath and balcony.

There was a dark wood TV stand and a desk connected to it, also a comfy chair in the corner and they had two silk robes folded neatly at the end of the bed. I threw our two backpacks, that I packed secretly. Logan smiles when he sees a few vanilla scented candles lit, along with a bowl of chocolate covered strawberries and a sparkly blue cylinder he squints at. I smile when he picks it up and his eyebrows raise up.

"Wow, sparkly blue lube?" I launch myself at him, throwing us onto the bed. I laugh and we roll around gently. I kiss Logans nose when he lies on top of me and he blushes. I start undoing his tie and unbuttoning his shirt.

"I love you, Logan. I love you a lot."

"I love you, too."

I feel his hands on my pants and he unzips them, his other hand tossing my hat away. I laugh and scoot back as he raises himself to his knees and drags my skinny jeans down my legs, struggling around my ankles. My shoes, my socks are tossed away and soon I'm only left in my boxers and my shirt. I unbutton my shirt completely as Logan drags my boxers down my body.

I'm about to toss off my shirt when Logan stops me. He smiles and places it back on my shoulders.

"You look cute like this. And vulnerable."

"Vulnerable! Logan-" he stops by shoving a chocolate covered strawberry in my mouth. I sit there and pout at him before biting into it. Logan sucks on a few, biting into them, his beautiful pink lips wrapping around it.

I lean forward while he eats, and I unzip his pants, yanking them down. His erect cock springs free and I tease the head of it with my tongue. Logan let's out a low moan and laces his fingers through my hair. I take the head in and Logan let's out a gasp, strawberry juices and drool running down his chin.

"Baby, baby, baby,baby." he pants fast.

"Not yet. Not yet. I wanna be inside. I wanna be inside you." he pants. I pull off gently and he steps off the bed, hurrying and yanking himself out of his clothes. He grabs the lube and hands it to me, edging closer.

I take it and look up at him.

"Get me ready baby." I give him my most innocent look and dribble some onto my hand. I dribble more on his cock and smother his area with it, rubbing his balls and his dick at the same time. He grabs my shoulders and pants, letting out heavy breaths, and squeezing his eyes close. This is my time for one surprise.

I reach under my pillow and feel the cold metal. I move slowly and clamp it around Logan. He gasps and looks down at the cock ring, before giving me an extremely wicked smile. He pushes me back and then grabs my legs, lifting them high as he squirts the lube into my hole. I gasp at the unreal feeling and squirm a little. He holds my legs over me, stretching my entire body.

He leans over me and I whimper when I feel the head of his cock, his godly thick cock, against my hole. It feels huge and I whimper again.

"We dont have too."

I grimace a little, the position is starting to burn a little. I feel Logan rub against my hole and I gasp. I wrap my arms around his neck and slowly breathe.

"Do it. Please."

He thrusts in.

Logans POV

I don't know ir how many times Kendall I had sex had an influence on me, but the first time I pushed in, I went all the way in. Kendall tossed his head back and moaned loudly.

I smiled and thrust my hips again, raising myself up. I bend his legs until they touch his shoulders and I keep thrusting, staring down at my cock as it slides in and out if his hole. He whimpering, squirming and moaning under me.

I thrust in harder and he grips the bed sheets and screams.

"T-There! Do it again, Logie!"

I pound harder, gripping Kendalls hips. I dig my fingernails into his legs and thighs, pounding, thrusting. He's moaning and screaming, arching his back off the bed. His shirt flutters around, and I grip the collar to pull him up. Our lips connect and then their gone.

Kendall is digging his fingernails

Into my back as I pound into him. His eyes are rolling back and he's screaming so hard. His legs are twitching hard, and he's writhing around.

"IM GONNA CUM!" he screams and arches his back. I feel how close I am, too and remember I'm wearing a cock ring that Kendall put on. I pound him harder and he screams loud, spraying my chest with milky white strings. I pull out and he rolls to the side, panting. I chuckle and look down at my aching erection; if Kendall thinks he's done, he's so wrong.

I yank him off the bed, making him gasp when I lift him up. I use all my strength, even though he's actually pretty light, and slam him against the wall. He gasps when I push back in and start thrusting. He's gasping, panting for air basically. His nails are cutting into my shoulders a bit and I grip his hips, digging my own hands in.

I grip till I feel his bones and thrust up while he pushes himself down. We're banging hard against the wall, making a few things fall off the nighstand and wall. I hear someone next door yelling at us and I ignore them as Kendall releases with my name coming out of his mouth. I chuckle as he groans and slides to the floor.

I yank my cock ring off and roll him so he's on his stomach, chest to the ground and ass in the air. We're both slick with sweat and he's panting gently. It's so hot.

I plunge in again and he arches his back, chest going into the air.

We're moving back and forth, my chest to his back. We move forward as I thrust and slide back a little. I slow down my thrusts and pant, sitting up and slapping Kendall on the ass. He yelps and looks back at me.

I grab his pretty pale mounds and roll them gently, suqeezing his skin. I smack his ass again and he gasps.

"Logan! S-Stop that...it feels embarrassing." he mumbles. I chuckle and lean forward to press a kiss to the back of his neck. I slide out gently and lift him up off the ground. I throw him on the bed and he smiles.

"Spread your legs baby." I climb up onto the bed with him and he lays back. He spreads his legs, showing off his gaping hole, that twitches and begs me to pound into it. I slowly stroke my cock, moaning before pushing my shaft back inside his warm hole. Kendall is gasping, becoming another squirming mess under me. He grabs my arms and I thrust in and out. My cock is rubbing his walls and he's writhing around in pleasure. I pound hard into him, but my pace is slow.

I lean down as Kendall tosses his head back and I suck on his Adams apple. He grips my hair and we start moving faster, my cock going in and out faster, Kendall is pushing himself down. I arch my back gently and so does Kendall; our bellies are rubbing together. I lean down and suck on a nipple, makingit beautiful and erect as Kendall orgasms once more.

I start going faster, pounding hard.

"baby-oh god Logan! Logan...Logan, Logan,Logan!" he pants fast. I feel myself coming closer to my orgasm; heat is tingling in the bottom of my stomach, my balls are tingling and slapping against Kendalls ass. I grip his hips and slide him down onto my cock as it twitches and explodes.

"FUCK!"

"LOGIE!"

I fall down on top of him and we pant. We gasp for air and then we're kissing, our hands going everywhere, Kendall holding me close. I weave my hands through Kendalls soft blonde hair and we pull away for air.

"I love you." I peck his lips and Kendall smiles, a red blush forming on his beautiful face.

"I love you, too." I reach down and toss the comforter over us. We giggle beneath the covers for a few minutes when Kendall sighs. I look down at him and realize I tired him out. He's sleeping, his eyelids fluttering gently. I chuckle and roll off of him, holding him in my arms. I feel myself start to tire, also.

I kiss Kendall and look down at my beautiful engagment ring before I curl into Kendalls form and fall into a deep peaceful sleep.

Kendalls POV

The next morning I awoke and smiled sleepily as I stretched. I laid my hands down on the bed and frowned when the sheets next to me were cold and empty. I say up slowly and looked around in the dimmly lit room.

I couldn't see anyone until I looked up and saw Logan in the comfortable recliner in the corner, reading glasses on his face and the silk robe draped over his body. He had nothing on under it and the robe was open up to show off his abs and pecs. He was reading a book in the dim light, and then the light coming from outside was also dim and grey, from rain.

I leaned on my elbow and smiled at him, waiting for him to glance at me.

He did a moment later and smiled at me. He took off his glasses and set down his book, standing up to come over to me. The silk robe hung low on his body and I licked my lips a little. Logan lifts my chin up and smiles, pecking my lips and cupping my cheek.

"Morning."

"G' morning." he mumbles against my lips. He continues kissing me softly. I gently pull him onto the bed and wrap my legs around his waist. He gently starts moving and I let out small moans.

"Logie, is there-anything-you wanna-do?" I pant as we move. I gasp when I feel his hard cock beginning to rub me again.

"I just want to lay in bed with you all day." he mumbles. I kiss him and he laughs.

"Here I have a suggestion, a shower and then a trip to get something to eat?"

"sounds good to me." I gasp as he lifts us both out of the bed, lifting me and taking us both into the bathroom.

"A nice shower would do us both some good."

A/N

Meh ending sucked. Hope ya liked


	11. Chapter 11

**A/n**

**Logan's POV**

***time skip=2 weeks***

Happy people get turned down easily, I can tell you that.

Just as soon as Kendall and I got back from our hotel getaway for the day, Gustavo had us working our asses off again. I wasn't too happy, and neither was Kendall. We were both tired and had our heads wrapped around nothing but the engagment and the wedding.

But, of course, our boss had to ruin it.

So now, we were all working our asses off in the dance studio, two weeks later.

"one, two, three four, five, six, seven, eight!" Mr.X yelled, counting out the beat for our dance steps. I tried and tried my hardest, practicing the steps I've been trying for nearly a week and a half to get down. I was getting it right, until slipped and fell. I landed on my side wrong and groaned, hissing in pain. I knew I was gonna have a bruise later.

"up! Get up!" Mr.X yelled at me. I glared at him before standing up and trying again. We were supposed to do this to practice for any concerts we had coming up that Gustavo still hadn't told us about.

I decided to let that fall slip out of my mind, but then we did flips and I hit that same side, harder this time.

"Ah!" I cried.

Mr.X looked at me and sighed, clicking his tongue in disapporval. I glared at him, and then sat up as Kendall appeared behind me, helping me stand up.

"You okay, dude?" I looked over at Carlos and James, both looking at me with a bit of concern as I hugged my side.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just sore."

"Do you need anything?" I turned and smiled at Kendall.

"No, thanks, I'm fine. Thank you, though." i planted a soft kiss on Kendall's lips, making him blush dark red.

"Awwww." James and Carlos made dramatic faces.

"Their growing up so fast." Carlos motioned as he was wiping tears away. I scowled and flipped him off.

"We're both older than you, Carlos." Carlos stuck his tongue out at us and I chuckled.

"And WE"RE grown up, Carlos." He crossed his arms and huffed.

"Well, excuse me for having a bit of fun. You know I'm a mother, right?" I made a shocked expression and wrapped an arm around Kendall's shoulder.

"oh, my gosh! Kendall...He finally admitted he's the girl in this relationship!" I watched Carlos's scowl get worse.

"GIrl? I'll show you whose a girl!" Then he grabbed James's chin and forced a rough kiss to his lips, shocking James in the process. It stopped though when Mr.X growled gently and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Okay, okay! Practice is done! Please, leave!" We all immediatley ran from the room, happy to get out of the room we had been trapped in for nearly five hours, happy pratice was over. I turned to Kendall, smiling at my blonde who was suddenly very quiet. He's been sort of silent for a few days. I'm wondering if that's from his sickness.

This morning, I found Kendall hunched over the toilet, throwing up, and dry-heaving for a few minutes after.

"You okay?"

He sighed.

"Logan, can I ask you some-"

But then, we were interuppted as Carlos's kids, Veronica and Drake, ran through us and Carlos grabbed Drake, and James grabbed Veronica. Kelly walked over, tickling Nate gently, laughing as the baby laughed. She passed him over to Carlos, who shifted and put Drake on his back, making him hang on to his mom's shoulders as Nate went on Carlos's hip.

"Thanks Kelly."

"It's no problem." She laughed as Nate stuck his fist in his mouth and then looked at it, as if he was wondering," What are these?" I chuckled and turned back to Kendall, who had gone silent again. I saw him gazing at Nathaniel with...longing. i looked between him and Nate, wondering what was up.

"Kendall? You okay?"

He blinked and looked at me.

"Yeah...I'm fine. Let's just head home, okay?" He turned around and without another word, left Rocque Records. I was stunned and suddenly left filled with concern, and wonders of what was wrong with my fiance.

**XXXXXXXBTRXXXXXXXXXX**

I was still curious what was up with Kendall when we got home. He didn't seem happy. Just sort of...cold. Distant.

When we got back to 2J, Mama Knight was cooking dinner and was talking on the phone. I decided to not disturb her and followed Kendall to our room, closing the door behind us. I watched him kick his shoes off and sit down on our bed. I sat down beside him and rubbed his shoulders, feeling tense under my fingertips.

"You okay? Baby?" I lowered my hands to his back and he pulled away gently.

"Y-yeah...I'm fine."

"You were gonna ask me something earlier, what was it?"

I watched him shake his head, and I frowned.

"Kendall? Are you sure you're okay?"

He turned and looked at me.

"Yeah...Just tired, I guess." He shrugged.

I watched him change and hurry and leave our bedroom, leaving me even more worried than i was before.

**XXXXXXBTRXXXXXX**

After sitting on the couch in an awkward hour of silence and TV, dinner was ready. We all sat down at the table, having Mama Knight smile at us.

"So, how was all of your's days?" Mama Knight started, breaking the very noticeable tension between us. Katie stopped eating her chicken parmesan and looked at her mom.

"I made a lemonade stand with a 'secret ingredient' that fooled a lot of people. I made almost two hundred bucks!" I watched Mama Knight groan and place her head in her hands, and I heard a slight chuckle come from Kendall, but then he seemed to grimcae a little.

"Honey, you okay?" Mama Knight reached to put her hand on Kendall's shoulder and I watched as he tensed and moved away slowly.

"Y-yeah...just the smell of this chicken-" We all watched as he suddenly gagged and ran to the bathroom in the kitchen. I stood up and chased after him, opening the door behind him to find him on his knees, puking into the toilet below. I squatted next to him and began rubbing his back, wishing he wasn't sick. When he sat up, I leaned close and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, watching him blush a little.

"You must think this is gross."

I shook my head.

"Nah, you're just a little sick. It'll be gone in no time." I gave him a reassuring smile and he smiled.

"I don't know about that, Kendall never gets sick and when he does it lasts a while." Katie said from his post behind us outside the doorway. I sent her a small glare over my shoulder.

"thanks for the support, Katie." Mama Knight appeared behind her and sighed.

"She's right, you know. Here, baby, let me just give you some Pepto-Bismol, and you can go climb in bed." Kendall nodded and stood on shakey legs. I stood with him and supported him gently. I led him back into the kitchen and waited until he had a spoonful of Pepto-Bismol, before I helped to bed. I decided to go to sleep with him, even though it was a bit early. I was tired anyway, so I wrapped my arms around Kendall and snuggled into his chest.

I didn't sleep very soundly.

Neither did Kendall.

**XXXXXXXXBTRXXXXXXXX**

When I woke up the next morning, I frowned because I hadn't woken up to an alarm clock. Instead I woke up to vigorous vomiting.

_Jesus, maybe he's worse than we thought._

I stood, groaning when I saw it was only 6Am. I walked into the bathroom and saw Kendall sitting with his back to the tub, knees to his chest.

"Baby, you okay?" He looked startled as he looked at me, then gave me a grim look.

"Did I wake you?" I nodded before yawning.

"Yeah, a little, but that doesn't matter. Kendall, are you sure you're okay?" He nodded and stood slowly.

"I-I think I just had some bad meat or something." he mumbled as he grasped my hand and led me back to bed. We crawled back into the warm matress, wrapping our arms around each other before moving to get more comfortable.

"Maybe you should head to the doctor. Just in case." I mumbled into Kendall's soft, blonde locks. He grimaced and I sighed.

"Logan, you know I hate hospitals.'

"Just, at least go to the clinic."

I heard him groan.

"I'll be fine, now go back to bed it's too early."

"Fine, fine." I yawned against his head before closing my heavy eyelids.

**XXXXXXXXBTRXXXXXXXXX**

When I woke back up, Kendall wasn't in bed.

Or in the apartment.

I thought it was weird, so I looked for notes or calls or text messages. He didn't leave me any. I suddenly began to worry, wondering if he had gotten in...a car wreck or a fight or something. I love Kendall, but as smart as he is, he sometimes has no common sense.

I quickly dialed his number and paced back and forth in our bedroom. I jumped when he answered and then I placed one hand on my hip angirly.

"Kendall? Where are you?"

**"Logan? I'm doing some errands, what's wrong?" ** he sounded a bit unsure about the errands thing. But I didn't care.

"Well, god I woke up and you didn't tell me or text me or even leave a note!"

**"Oh...Sorry. I-I just didn't think about it."**

I gave a small siLogh.

"Well, please do next time. You scared me to death."

**"I love how your so overprotective of me.**" He said a bit quietly. I smiled to myself and rubbed the back of my neck.

"If I wasn't then I wouldn't be a good fiance. now would I?" I mumbled back, looking down at the beautiful ring he bought me.

**"You're too sweet for your own good."**

"You're to beautiful for everyone else's good."

**"Love you, Logie."**

_"_Love you, too."

**"I'll be home soon.**"

Then the line ended and I sighed, wishing I weren't such a control freak. I sighed once more and then tossed my phone on the bed, hurrying to jump in the shower. I decided on wearing some dark blue skinny jeans and then I pulled on a white button up over it. I gelled my hair and decided to go read some of my new book on the human body that I had bought the other day, outside by the Palmwoods pool. I decided it'd be a good place to keep an eye out for Kendall.

I rode the elevator down and then walked out into the lobby, giving a few people some warm smiles before I went and sat down on my lounger. I opened my book and started reading.

It was around page 50, when I felt cold eyes on me. Like...they boring into my skull. I ignored it, but after a while I became sort of paranoid and shut my book, after marking the page first, and looked around. No one seemed to be looking my direction until the certain, curly brunette that I had once had a fling with.

Camille.

She literally game me the coldest stare she could muster, which was pretty scary in my terms, and then i watched her brown eyes flicker to my engagement ring.

It took her all of five seconds to be standing by my chair.

"You're engaged?" she hissed gently. I rolled my eyes at her and went back to my book.

"Camille, you and I are over and done with, you know that."

I watched out of the corner of my eye as her hands clenched gently and then she walked away, grumbling to herself. But then she turned around and pointed at me.

"LOGAN FUCKING MITCHELL, I WILL GET YOU TO BE MINE AGAIN! YOU'LL SEE!"

I held up my hand with the ring and pointed.

"SORRY, BABE, BUT I'M ALREADY TAKEN!"

She gave a small shriek and walked away fuming. I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. When Camille basically promised something, she meant it.

Now i'm suddenly terrified for my life.

**KENDALL'S POV**

As soon as I got off the phone with Logan, I looked around, making sure no one overheard my conversation.

Because, well I lied.

I wasn't doing errands. I was at the hopsital. I had already told them my symptoms and everything, and now they were running a few tests. I thought it was just the flu, but I guess I was wrong. I was scared now, running my hands up and down my pant legs as I waited.

Minutes seemed to be hours as the old woman next to me knitted, humming gently. She turned to me and smiled.

"I'm guessing that was your girlfriend on the phone."

I gave a small smile.

"Well..um, not real-"

"She seems over protective. That's so sweet." She smiled, her rosy cheeks suddenly making her resemble Santa's wife. I blushed and gripped my knees.

"um...no. T-that was my boyfriend."

She set down her knitting things and smiled.

"Well, swell! I hope he treats you right."

I blinked.

"You're okay with that?"

"Of course! Why me and my partner just celebrated our 50th anniversary together. She was so happy." The old woman gently clapped her hands together and I couldn't stop the smile on my face.

"Well, I hope you live the rest of your lives happy together."

She clapped again and smiled.

"Why thank you!"

"Kendall Knight?" I looked up as a nurse called my name. I sighed and stood, turning to shake hands with the old woman.

"Nice meeting you."

"It's my pleasure." she smiled. I turned and walked into the exam room, hopping up onto the chair that was covered in plastic as the doctor walked in. She sighed and sat down on a stool, flipping through some papers on her clipboard.

"Well, Kendall, it seems we can't find whats wrong with you right now. I'm going to schedule another appointment that will be a much more serious one, so we can try longer tests. Is that okay?"

I gripped my knees again and gave a small sigh, again.

"Yes, i-it's fine." She jotted something down and then stood.

"We'll call you with your appointment."

I left the room, saddened that I couldn;t figure out what was wrong. I hoped to see the nice old woman again, but she wasn't in the waiting room as I left. I walked to the car and drove home silently, suddenly craving donuts. I stopped and grabbed a dozen from Krispy Kreme before heading back to 2J. I walked in through the lobby, munching on the donuts.

I rode the elevator up, not noticing anything besides the delicious donuts I was eating.

Then my stomach gurgled.

I dropped the donuts and ran, bursting into the apartment. I hurried to my own bathroom. throwing the door closed behind me as I slid to my knees in a hurry, burying my face into the porcelain bowl as I vomited, the chewy dough and icing sliding back up my throat on a disgusting form of bile.

i flushed the toilet and sat back against the tub again, letting my hands fall to my stomach. I rubbed it, trying to soothe it a little. Then I stopped.

And I pressed down. I gasped when I ntoiced my stomach was firm. Extremley firm, and not like abs firm, like...just...firm. I sniffed and pulled my knees up, crying into them gently as I heard the apartment door open. I began gently sobbing.

What was happening to my body?

**A/n**

**I just wanna say IM SO SORRY I havent updated this story in forever! It's taken me a while to grab an idea and hang on to it. If you have any, PM me them, I could use them. Well, thanks for reading!**

**Review**

**Love, FAQ**


	12. Chapter 12

A/N hey guys sorry I haven't been working on any stories and I just want to apologize. But really it wasn't my fault, because my computer somehow got broken and I still haven't been able to take it to the shop, so right now I'm typing this on my iPad. So I also further apologize for any grammar or punctuation problem. Thanks

Kendalls POV

I was relaxing on the couch, well trying to relax anyway, while Logan was in the kitchen. I rubbed my stomach, which was bubbling gently.

My stomach felt tight, like a ball was in my stomach with the skin pulled tightly over it. I groaned and let out a small burp as Logan passed me an anti-seltzer and a glass of water.

"How do you feel?" I sipped the water and swallowed the stomach relievers, giving a small gag.

"Not much better." I mumbled.

He sat down beside me on the couch with a small huff and rubbed my belly. I watched him frown and I gagged again. Some sort of smell was bothering me.

"Well, maybe you shouldn't have eaten so many donuts."

My eyes widen and I look at him.

"How did you know those were mine?"

He sighed and rubbed my belly again. "You have chocolate on your teeth, have you been gaining weight? Your stomach feels...sort of pudgy."

I frown at him and push him away angrily. I wipe my suddenly wet eyes and glare at him.

"I-I am not pudgy!" Logans eyes went wide and I watched him rub my belly again. I slapped his hand away, though.

"Kendall, I wasn't calling you fat!" I wiped my eyes and looked at him.

"Really?" He pecked my cheek and smiled.

"Really, you are NOT fat." I wiped my eyes again and huffed.

"I just don't get it. I've been so sick lately, how can I have gained weight?" Logan sighs and presses a kiss to my temple.

"Well, let's take you to the doctor tomorrow. Maybe we can figure what's wrong." I wince when he wraps an arm around me and squeezes me.

"Well thats the thing..." I pushed his arm gently off of me,"I didn't have any errand today. I-I already went." Logan frowned at me.

"Why didn't you tell me? I wouldn't have gotten mad over something dumb as a trip to the doctor." I shrugged and stared down at my hands.

"I-I don't know...I just...I guess I was afraid you WOULD be mad..." I mumbled, before bringing my hand up to my mouth, nibbling on my thumbnail. Logan pulled my hand away from my mouth and kissed it.

"Nah, I wouldn't be mad over something so stupid." we snuggled close, cuddling as Logan turned on the TV. I tried to concentrate on the show that Logan had turned on, which was some sort of doctor tv show, House or something like that, but my eyelids soon became heavy and I felt sluggish and drowsy. My back and stomach hurt a little, my skin still feeling tight. But soon enough I slid my head into Logans lap, totally by accident, and I fell asleep.

But, a small gurgling and small bubbling sound, followed by a smacking sound made me open my heavy eyes and yawn, sitting up to stare at Carlos and Nathaniel.

"Wow, sleepy?" he chuckled.

I smiled slowly, and glanced up to see Logan with his head against the couch, his eyes shut. I smiled and slowly sat up, popping my neck and glancing to see my mom in the kitchen, quietly making dinner. She glanced at me and smiled.

"So, how are you?" Carlos bounced Nathaniel on his lap, watching the gurgling and laughing baby kick his feet.

He set Nate on the ground and I watched as the baby pulled something out of Carlos's diaper bag and began gnawing at it with his pink gums. He whined and whimpered before throwing the toy down.

"Doing good, well as good as a mother can." he chuckled and rubbed the babies head. "Why, what's up?"

"Well, as you can see Nate's teething, so he's being bothered. And Dak hasn't been taking Drake very often, but he looks really awful lately. I'm a little worried. And..." he sighs and rubs the back of his neck.

"And what?" I bent down and picked up Nathaniel, who had abandoned his teething toy and had now crawled over to me. I rubbed his soft fuzzy head, kissing his stark black hair. He gurgled and pressed a sticky hand to my face, making me break out into an uncontrollable smile.

"And...I think I need to take Veronica to the doctor." he whispered. I looked at him and saw his eyes full of worry.

"Why? Is she okay?"

"No...at least I hope shes okay and I'm just over reacting. Shes been having nightmares and tummy aches, but I'm not sure if I should punt her setting the bed as asymptom."

My eyes widened and I gasped, pulling Nate closer to me as he reached for my hair, tugging it gently.

"Oh, gosh I hope shes okay!" Carlos sighed, and looked at me.

He looked tired and worn, and I suddenly felt bad. James and him always had to come to Rocque Records at different times than Logan and I because of the kids. I sighed and reached over to hold his hand. He smiled at me and patted our linked hands.

"Well, what do you think it is?" He shook his head.

"I don't know. It could be...it could be a UTI, but can four year olds get UTI's?" he rubbed his forehead before dragging his fingers through his hair.

"Well, maybe she'll be okay."

"Yeah, I guess I can always make a doctor appointment, which I already have to do with Drake and Veronica for shots so they can start getting ready for kindergarten. I guess I can always have the doctor check her-"

The door opened and we all turned to watch as James walked in, holding hands with a sleepy looking Drake and a sobbing Veronica in his strong arms. She was crying, with sticky mouth and hands covered in the same sticky substance. Her hair looked gross, too. James just looked overall tired. Carlos frowned and took Drake into his arms, bouncing the small child, who slipped back into his nap.

"I thought all of you were napping?" James rubbed his eyes.

"We were, before I woke up and walked out to discover our innocent little girl was digging in the cabinets, successfully knocking a drawer out. Turns our her tummy aches were from eating some of the candy we had hidden for when they deserved it."

James set Veronica down and we all watched as she continued to bawl, rubbing her sticky hands over her eyes. Carlos frowned and stood, setting Drake down on the couch, and walking over and squatting in front of Ronny.

"and the nightmares?"

"Ice cream. Shes been digging in it, sneaking out whenever we're asleep." Carlos frowned at Ronny, before taking one of her hands and smacking it. Not hard, but enough to make her wince gently. James's eyes widened and my mom covered her mouth in a small gasp. I hugged Nate, who wasn't crying anymore but now watching the scene.

"Bad! That was a bad thing to do! Why would you do that?" I watched as Veronica bawled harder,her sticky hand turning red.

"I-I-I w-wanted candy! I-I-" she continued sobbing, her little cheeks turning crimson as snot and tears ran down them. James pulled the littler girl to his leg and looked at Carlos.

"Why did you hit her?" Carlos's eyes widened and he looked shocked. "Oh...Oh my god..." he covers his face.

"I-I wasn't thinking...I-...oh my god..." he bent down and hugged his daughter tight, sniffling into her shoulder. He looked up at James with wide eyes.

"I didn't mean it! I swear! I-Im just so tired...and she had me scared to death! I was tempted to have the doctor check her for a UTI!" he pulled Veronica back a bit and wiped her face.

"I am SO,SO sorry! Daddy didn't think about what he was doing! Can you forgive me?" she nodded and he hugged her.

When they pulled apart he wiped her eyes.

"Its okay, papi." Carlos kissed her forehead and wiped his eyes.

"Now, that's settled, would you boys like to stay for dinner?" my mom questioned.

"Yeah, sure, Mama Knight." James smiled at her, leaning down to scoop up Veronica.

"Here, you go wake up Drake, and text Dak that we're down here if he wants to come get him later. I'll go wash her up."

"Okay." Carlos sniffed, watching them disappear down the hall.

He turned towards me, where I had been watching the whole scene. Nate looks up at me and gurgled, returning my attention to him. I blew a raspberry at him and looked up at Carlos, who was hanging his head.

"I feel awful."

"Don't worry, she forgives you."

"But what if I do it again?" he looks up at me with wide eyes, before we both turned to the soft cough my mom gave.

"You won't, sweetheart. You're better than that, you just had a moment."

"I hope you're right, Mama K." Carlos stood and then leaned over to picked Drake up. He carried the sleeping boy on his shoulder, before turning and nodding at Logan.

"might wanna wake him up, also." I chuckled and shifted so Nate sat on my hip, so I had a free hand to shake Logan awake.

"Hmm?" he mumbled.

"Wake up, dinners almost ready."

"Okay." he yawned. He stretched and turned to look at me, chuckling when he saw Nathaniel in my arms.

"Didnt know we were expecting guests."

XXXXXXX(ABOUT 20 MINS LATER)XXXXXXXXXXXX

We all scooted in around the table, squeezing a few more chairs in as well all ate. It sort felt like old times, but at the same time not. I held Nate in my lap the whole time, we weren't risking putting him in a chair by himself since we didn't have his high chair. I bounced the gurgling baby the whole time, swelling with happiness a little every time I made him giggle. James and Veronica had a small chicken nugget fight, Veronica beating her dad with her "Tie-ran-a-thesauraus- rex".

Carlos just talked to Katie and poked Drake every now and then, the shy boy smiling at the attention his papi gave him.

But, Logan was awfully quiet. He sat staring at me with Nathaniel, watching us every now and then, and turning away with a blush on his cheek when I looked at him. But other than that, things were pretty good. Then as everyone was leaving, making the apartment suddenly feel empty once more, Dak stopped by and picked Drake up.

Then it was completely empty. I didn't like the feeling after everyone leaves, because it makes me feel extremely lonely, so I just ended up heading to bed.

I was laying in bed, ready for sleep when Logan hopped out of the shower and came into our room. He smiled at me, being all wrapped up in a cocoon of blankets.

"You look comfy." I nodded my head and shivered.

"Yeah, but I'm really cold."

"Cold? It's pretty warm in here." he dropped his towel and my eyes instantly darted downwards. Logan noticed and blushed,then chuckled. I blushed also and stared down at the blanket.

"You like what you see?" I looked up and smiled as he leaned over the bed, looming over me.

"yes...a lot..." I whispered. He pecked my cheek before stepping off the bed once more to yank on a pair of sweatpants.

"Hey did you notice Dak? He looks pretty bad when he came over." I frowned and nodded.

When Dak came over, he looked...plain shitty. He was thin and a bit pale, with some bags under his eyes. He was also a bit skittish around us and quickly grabbed Drake and left.

"Yeah...to tell you the truth, he's been looking awfully bad since he and Jett broke up."

"I dont know what he would be upset," Logan sighed, sliding into bed next to me," Jetts a dick. Of all people, you should know."

he caressed my cheek and I sighed.

"Lets not talk about that." I whispered, shutting my heavy eyes.

"Okay, what do you wanna talk about?"

I snuggled into his side and dragged all the blankets on top of us, shivering gently. He wrapped his arms around me and I sighed, leaning more into his heat.

"Sing me to sleep...please?"

"okay, baby." he kissed my head and leaned his head back a bit.

"I was alone in the dark when I met ya

Uuuuuuuuuuh uuuuuuh

You took my hand and you told me you loved me

uuuuuuuh uuuuuuh I was alone, there was no love in my life

(I was alone, there was no love in my life) I was afraid of life and you came in time

(I was afraid of life and you came in time)

You took my hand and we kissed in the moonlight (You took my hand and we kissed in the moonlight) Uuuuuuuuuuh uuuuuuh

I like the way how you're holdin' me

It doesn't matter how you're holdin' me

I like the way you're lovin me' It doesn't matter how you are lovin' me I like the way how you're touchin' me It doesn't matter how you are touchin' me I like the way how you're kissin' me It doesn't matter how you are kissin' me You'll seeeee...

...it won't be long 'til we make vows, I bet ya

Uuuuuuuuuuh uuuuuuh I thank the Heavens above that I met ya

Uhuuuuhhh uuuuuuh I was alone, there was no love in my life (I was alone, there was no love in my life) I was afraid of life and you came in time (I was afraid of life and you came in time)

You took my hand and we kissed in the moonlight (You took my hand and we kissed in the moonlight) Uuuuuuuuuuh I like the way how you're lovin' me..."(1)

I drifted off to the sound of his voice.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I groaned and blinked again, rubbing my eyes to stay awake as Gustavo talked, or screeched at us, about a new album he wanted us to start making, I glanced around with heavy eyes to see James and Carlos leaning on each other, obviously tired from taking care of their kids, and from the dark love bite on Carlos's neck, a bit of bed romping.

I sighed and gazed a bit dreamily at Logan, remembering his beautiful voice lulling me to sleep last night. He was the only one wide awake, but obviously not paying attention to Gustavos rant. I sighed and rested my head on my hand, tracing my eyes over every crease and curve of his body, taking in his strong jawline, losing myself in his gorgeous brown chocolate eyes, my eyes going lower to trace out his muscles beneath his jacket.

Then my stomach gurgled.

I groaned a little, rubbing my stomach as it bubbled. I suddenly didn't feel good. My stomach bubbled more and I gagged a little. I jumped when Gustavo smacked his hand down on his desk.

"DOGS! PAY ATTENTION!"

I gagged and fell to my knees, puking into the small trash can next to his desk. I heard him jump up and groan, glaring at me.

"DOG!"

"It wasn't his fault, Gustavo! He's been sick!" james jumped in, trying to help. I shot him a look that clearly said "thanks for saving my ass."

"I don't care! He needs to deal with it at home, because Griffin wants a new album done in two months!" We groaned, but Logan gave Gustavo a small glare.

"Oh yeah, like Kendall can hold back his nausea with sheer willpower. Come on, sweetheart." he bent down and helped me to my feet, making me sway a little.

"Damn, maybe you need to go back to the doctor." I shook my head.

"Dont wanna go." I mumbled. Logan sighed and turned to Carlos.

"could you text Dak? See if he's free to take Kendall-"

"No, he's busy. Carlos texted him earlier. Look, ill just take him." James stepped forward and I wrapped an arm around his shoulder as he dragged me out the door.

I glanced back at Logan, watching his eyes turn a dark, worried brown before they disappeared. I groaned an held my belly, hoping this time they might find something.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Are they cominnggg backkkk yetttttt?" I groaned at James, who was flipping through a magazine. He rolled his eyes.

"stop asking that, its going to be no."

I groaned and rubbed my eyes. I've been in the same examining room for nearly three hours, but nothing was happening and by every other minute I was getting crankier and more bitchy. I glared at the clock and growled.

I was so tired of this room, the...medical smell was bothering me.

Then the door opened. I sat up and smiled, only to groan and see it was a nurse checking on us.

I flopped back against the examining bed and covered my eyes. I felt my phone vibrate and I immediately pulled it out.

-They figure it out yet? .L

I sighed before typing my answer back.

-Nope. Not yet .K

-Damnnit. .L

-If you were here I'd bet you'd find my problem faster than they would. .K

-Maybe. .L

-Meh. .K

-Meh to you to How about I cheer you up when you get home? .L

-sure, but how? .K

-Youll find out .L ;)

I blushed and was about to text back when the door opened again and my doctor walked in. He was young, and looked almost identical to the doctor that treated me for my cancer.

"Hi, Mr Knight. How are you doing?"

"You probably don't want the answer to that." James grumbled.

I glared at him and looked at the doctor.

"Did you find out what's wrong with me?" the doctor winced.

"Not yet...we're still running by a few tests. Buy oddly enough...," he flips through a few pages on the clipboard," your estrogen levels are extremely high, which in a male. Your hormones are a bit higher than normal, which is usually common is sexually active males but yours is a bit off the charts. But your symptoms just don't really match up with anything." I frowned.

"Whats estrogen?" the doctor sighed a little.

"it's a product in women, one of the reasons they have a uterus, and are able to give birth. But I looked back through your medical history and saw that you had a prostate surgery, for your cancer, and I noticed that one of the medicines you were administered had a lot of estrogen in it, so it might be just due to the pills." I kept blinking. I was a little confused.

"Is it bad or not?" james sighed, trying to get us out of here as fast as possible.

"We don't know yet. We need a few more tests."

I groaned and put my head in my hands.

Great.

XXXXXXXXXX

It was about another hour before the doctor walked back in, with a look of shock and puzzlement covering his face. He kept looking at the clipboard, and at the floor.

"We...really don't have a conclusion, Mr Knight." I hung my head as the door opened and a woman I recognized a few times stepped in with a smirk on her face.

"Dr Long?" Carlos's doctor was here? She had treated him and helped him through his pregnancies and even flew up to Minnesota the first time he went into labor. Her long blonde hair hung in strings around her hair, all pulled up into a bun.

My doctor frowned at her.

"I told you to stay outta this." he grumbled but she ignored him and walked over to me.

"Hi, Mr Knight. I treated your friend Carlos, but now I might have a diagnosis for you."

"Your diagnosis will be wrong." he looked at me with a serious face.

"Don't listen to this pyscho."

Dr Long turned and glared at my doctor. I prayed to myself real quick, thinking "Please don't let it be cancer again."

"Shut up, Richard."

She smiled at me.

"Its a wide stretch, but I'm pretty sure I'm correct. Could you lie back and pull your shirt up?" she walked over to a small closet and pulled out a large machine, wheeling it over to me. She turned it on and then pulled out some sort of gel. She picked up a sort of remote and suddenly I knew where this was going as she squirted the cool gel on my belly.

"Wait, I can't- I'm not-" A small thumping filled the room and I looked at the screen in shock. Then thumping became louder and louder and I began weeping silently, tears rolling down my cheeks in shock.

"A h-heartbeat?" I whispered. The small peanut shaped thing on the screen said it all.

"I was right..." she smiled softly,"Youre pregnant, Mr Knight."

I covered my mouth and stared at the small moving thing on the screen.

"B-but...h-how?" she smiled at me and then aimed a glare at "Richard" who now sat in shock.

"As far as I could think up, when you were prescribed those medications to your cancer, the estrogen in the pills was too much for your body. See, most men get prostate cancer at around 30, or 40, so their bodies have developed with enough testosterone that most of the estrogen gets canceled out and their bodies are fine. But since you got it so young, the estrogen created a blind uterus and a gestational sac, which caused the baby. I'm not sure how the sperm got into your uterus completely... But I'm guessing your body developed an estrogen canal, a small one right now so you can't exactly notice it."

"E-Estrogen canal?" I whimper, shocked from all the information being piled on me.

"Yes... A canal formed by the estrogen in your body which was how your friend Carlos is able to give natural birth, its either that or the sperm went up through your bowels..." she nibbled on her thumb nail, before typing something into a computer hooked up to the ultrasound on the counter.

"It seems you're about... A month...almost two months along, maybe a week or two away, but definitely pregnant."(2) she printed out a picture and handed it to me.

I took it with shaking hands,still sobbing gently.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked up to see James standing beside me, a frown gracing the features of his face.

"I appoint myself your doctor now, that is if you keep the baby." She says softly.

The other doctor stands up and coughs. "I'll be involved in this also."

Dr Long rolls her eyes and leans down to hug me.

"Give it a week and come back with your decision."

I nodded slowly and stood, leaving the room in a daze.

It's not until I get to the car when I lean against it and start sobbing gently, wrapping my arms around myself.

"Kendall-"

"Dont. Say. Anything." I hiss at James.

He frowns and sighs, rubbing his neck.

"You need to tell Logan." he says as we climb into the car. I curl up on the car seat.

"No! W-what if he doesn't want it?" james sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.

"Kendall...trust me, Carlos and I have been through this. I have a good idea where this is going and its not going to end well."

I sniff and rub my nose.

"F-fine...but I-I tell him, got it? And you don't mention it to anybody!" I shriek.

He sighs and starts the car.

I don't pay attention to anything on the ride home. All I can do is stare into my lap and at that picture, that grainy picture of my baby.

My baby.

A small feeling swells inside of me.

My heart pounds as a tear falls off my face and lands on the edge of the picture. I quickly wipe it off and clutch the picture to my chest.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and I turn to see James giving me a small, encouraging smile. I look back at the picture.

Is this a blessing, or a curse?

A/N Like I said, prey for the wait. How did you like it? Please review.

And (1) is a song called (I like) the way you love me by Michael Jackson, just in case your curious.

(2) I know some might be confused about all the time differences but I decided to speed things along and make him a little further in his pregnancy than planned. Just to give you guys some relief from the long update wait.

FAQ


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N**

**Hey guys, so ummmm I'm having some trouble with ideas, so I'm sorry if I'm taking longer than normal. Sorry for the wait.**

**Thanks**

**Logans POV**

I was really worried after watching Kendall fall to his knees and vomit. He's been so sick lately, I don't understand whats wrong. He continues to tell me it's nothing, just a stomach flu, but i'm not sure.`

I sighed once more, and I saw Carlos turn and look at me.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, just worried. What if somethings seriously wrong with Kendall?" I turned and looked at Carlos, before I started nibbling on my thumbnail. He grabbed my hand and pulled it away.

"Don't worry. I bet he's just...got a stomach problem. Maybe the stomach flu!"

"Yeah, but it's been going on for a little while. "

"How long?" Carlos frowns at me and bites his lip.

"I...I don't know...a month or so?"

"I don't know then. But hey, actually, remember that time when we were all like ten years old and we had that HUGE blizzard while we were staying over at Kendalls house? James convinced all of us to go hop around in the five foot deep snow?"

"Yeah, and we all had to hop out of one of Kendalls windows just to get outside?" I laughed.

"Yeah! We all got stuck in that huge igloo we made, and the fire department had to dig us out,and we all got sick! I had the flu for almost two months! So, like I said, maybe it's just the flu."

I smiled at Carlos as the limo pulled up in front of the Palm Woods.

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

"Of course I am."

I raised my eye brown at him as we climbed out of the limo.

"Dont get cocky now."

"Whatever." he laughed as we started towards the elevators. We rode up them in silence and headed over to 2J. We opened the door and I was instantly ran into. I groaned and grabbed my thigh where Veronica had hit into.

"Papi!" she screamed, going to Carlos. He instantly picked her up and held her on his hip, leaning over towards me.

"Dude you okay?"

"Yeah fine...tell her to watch her aim. She got pretty close to my-"

"Logan!" Carlos clapped a hand over her ear and frowned at me. I rolled my eyes and straightened, saying hi to Mama Knight and taking the gurgling baby Nate from her.

"I wasn't gonna say anything bad, not in front of the kids."

"You should always watch your language, mister." Mama Knight frowned at me. I gave her an apologetic smile and headed up towards the slide, motioning for Carlos to follow. I sat down on a beanbag chair and lifted Nathaniel into the air, making him gurgle and laugh loudly. He stared down at me and then grabbed my nose, tugging it.

"So, do you think I should text Kendall?"

"Yeah, you could check up on him. Might calm you down a little." Carlos said as he sat down on the slide and placed his daughter in his lap, sliding out of view. I placed Nate in my lap and bounced him on my knee, making him go,"Wa-wa-wa" as he bounced. I yanked out my phone and began typing, sending Kendall a text saying,

-they figure it out yet? .L

I waited a few minutes and then jumped as my phone buzzed.

-Nope. Not yet. .K

Poor Kendall. I suddenly felt bad for not going with him, he must be bored and paranoid out of his mind.

-Damnit. .L

-If you were here I'd bet you'd find my problem faster than they would. .K

I blushed and looked down at Nate. He was staring at me and my phone. So I decided to keep the baby happy by standing up and bouncing around with him. He burst out into hysterics and then I slid down the slide with him landing safely at the bottom so he wouldn't get hurt as I laid down on the couch with him on my chest. He tugged at my nose again and I snorted.

-Maybe. .L

-Meh. .K

-Meh to you too. How about I cheer you up when you get home? .L

I chuckled to myself and snorted again to make Nate laugh.

-Sure but how? .K

-Youll find out. .L

Might as well keep him interested, I thought to myself. I put my phone in my pocket and lifted Nate into the air, watching as he stuffed a fist into his mouth. I kissed his adorable nose and chuckled to myself as Carlos sat next to me, tickling his baby.

"Logan?"

I glanced at him.

"Yeah, what's up?"

"Have you, I don't know, ever thought about having kids?"

I sighed and sat up slowly, handing Carlos Nate. Veronica ran over, her braids flying as she bounced on the couch next to us.

"I don't know, Carlos. I can't really say right now."

"Oh." he looked downfallen and I sighed, patting his knee.

"Maybe I will in the future. Maybe when I get out of college, I'll start a family."

"Oh yay! Then you and I and James and Kendall can be happy families together!" Theres the old Carlos that I knew. I missed the old Carlos, who performed ridiculous stunts that wouldn't work anyway, flirted with girls even though they would pass him by, and would constantly slam into walls but be protected by his helmet. This Carlos... This serious and quiet one I didn't like.

"Well...I don't know Carlos. I mean, anything could happen, Kendall and I could,I dont know, break up in the future." Carlos stopped everything and his head whipped up. He stared at me.

"Why would you say that?"

"Im just-"

"You love him, right?"

"I do but-"

"Then don't think about things like that. That'll just make it all worse." he bit his lip and I sighed, glancing at Katie as she walked into the room.

"You BETTER not think like that, Logan. I'll kick your butt if you hurt Kendall." she walked into the kitchen and grabbed a water bottle, stopping to raise an eyebrow at the look I gave her.

"How did you-"

"I have microphones set up in here."

My eyes went wide again and I looked at Carlos with a serious face.

"Well I guess that means Kendall and I can't have sex on the couch anymore." Katie made a horrified face and ran from the room, leaving me in hysterics and Carlos, well, not so amused because I said the word sex in front of Veronica. But nonetheless he chuckled and toyed with Nathaniel, playing with his sons fists.

Then he did the most amazing thing. He opened his mouth and looked at his dad, just as the door opened and James and Kendall walked in.

"Da-da."

Carlos's eyes went open and my jaw dropped.

"Did he just-"

"Oh my god! He said his first word!" I looked up at James and watched him as his eyes went wide and he ran over to Nathaniel and Carlos.

"He said his first word? I missed it?"

"Just barely." I smiled but he pouted gently.

"What did he say?"

"Da-da." we all blinked and looked at Nate.

"He said it again! Say 'daddy' Nate! Say 'daddy!'" we were all laughing, watching the baby as he repeated the word over and over again, clapping his hands as we praised him. I raised my head and smiled at Kendall, who was smiling also. But I took a closer look and saw him staring at Nate and Carlos...with jealousy? It's what it seemed like. I stood and walked closer to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and squeezing.

"How ya feeling?"

"Um... N-not so good." he seemed pale. I put my hand to his forehead, but he wasn't warm.

"You sure?"

His mom walked into the room, holding a basket of laundry then. I turned to her for assistance.

"Mama Knight? I think Kendall is sick, he says he isn't feeling good."

"My baby's sick?" she pressed the back of her hand to his forehead and frowned.

"He doesn't look or feel sick."

"I'm fine, guys, really." he mumbled. He moved his moms hand and started off towards our bedroom silently, just causing me more worry. I started walking down the hall, but I was stopped by a small hand grabbing mine.

"Is Ken-Doll gonna be okay?" I looked down at Veronica and gave a sigh, looking into her big brown eyes. They were filled with worry. I squatted down to her height and ruffled her hair.

"Yeah, he'll be fine. He's just tired."

"Okay." she pouted gently but I kissed her forehead and opened the door to our room, to find Kendall lying down on the bed with the comforter pulled up to his chin. He seemed...shaken. I felt bad that I REALLY didn't go with him to the doctor. I went and sat down beside him, placing my hand on his shoulder and rubbing.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Fine." he mumbled.

"You seem...distant. What did the doctors find?"

He shrugged, making me sigh. He was being very weird.

"Nothing, just the stomach flu. The doctor gave me some pills." he mumbles again. I sigh and lie down beside him, pulling him close and kissing his forehead.

I lied there until he fell asleep, then I sat up and ran my fingers through my hair.

"Kendall...what are you hiding?" I whispered.

XXXXXXXXXXX

For about a week, Kendall was really awkward. He would jump or get tense when I touched him, especially his lower torso. He didnt say much, and everyday he looking worse. He would be quiet for long periods of time, making me worry. He was NEVER like this.

But I hoped he would cheer up soon. Katie and his mom tried a ton of times, but he wouldn't show much interest in what they were talking about or doing.

I sighed and lifted a blue balloon, glancing at Kendall as Carlos and I blew balloons up. It was Nathaniel's first birthday and we were preparing for it, by having it in 2J with tons of decorations. Kendall had Nathaniel bouncing in his lap, keeping the baby entertained. He looked worse, more pale, and I knew that was because he was throwing up this morning after breakfast.

I watched him as he smiled, a real genuine smile that I haven't seen in a while. He seems happy whenever we're around Carlos and James.

Maybe he misses them?

I shook my head and knotted the balloon I had just blown up, attaching a piece of tape to the end and turning to Carlos.

"Okay where do I put this balloon?"

"Just somewhere on the wall, make it look nice." he said with red cheeks as he blew up another balloon.

We had blown up about a million of them and hung up green, blue and white balloons, along with streamers. The door opened as we hung up the last balloons and Dak and James walked in, smiling at us as they took in the streamers and balloons. Veronica and Drake trailed after them both, Veronica looking a bit upset. I frowned at her but gave a big smile when James unwrapped the cake, showing off the large white cake with blue and green trimming.

James set the cake down and smiled, leaning over to kiss Carlos on the forehead.

"You guys ready?"

"Yeah, put the candles on the cake and we'll get started." I smiled at them and watched as James took the plastic covering off the cake and put a big 1-shaped candle in the cake, which read in icing "HAPPY BIRTHDAY NATE!" I smiled at it and watched Dak stack presents on the table for Nate. He smiled at everyone and picked up Drake, holding his son close.

I walked over to him as Mama Knight and Katie brought out presents for Nate.

"Hey, Dak, you're looking better."

"Thanks. I think...I think I was just exhausted. Needed some time to relax." he smiled warily at me, like he was faking it, but I couldn't really tell. I smiled back and patted his shoulder as the lit the cake and Kendall, now with a big goofy grin on his adorable face, stood up from the couch and carried Nate into the dining room.

Carlos smiled as James wrapped his arms around him, then Carlos placed Veronica on his lap. We all began a chorus of singing.

"Happy birthday to you...happy birthday to you...happy birthday dear, Nate. Happy birthday to you."

"And many more." Kendall sang, bouncing the baby. I smiled at my fiancé and draped my arms around his shoulders, kissing him on the cheek. He flinched gently and I watched as he wriggled gently away from me, biting his lip.

"Go on and blow out the candle, Nate!" Kendall placed his head on top of Nate's, holding him with his hand under his butt and one arm wrapped around them. He bent over and lowered the baby to the cake,watching as the baby started gurgling and kicking his legs. He started blowing his lips and we all watched the flame flicker. Then the baby gave a loud, noisy raspberry, sticking his tongue out and the flame died.

We all clapped and the baby laughed, making Kendalls face light up and he clapped, setting the baby next to the cake. I watched the baby reach for the cake.

"Wait stop-"

But Nate grabbed a fistful of a cake corner, ripped it from the rest and stuffed it in his face and mouth. I dropped my hand and sat down, laughing hard as Nate chewed on his cake and looked at all of us.

"Oh, god, I was hoping I wouldn't have to give him a bath after his party." Carlos groaned, then covered his face and laughed. James chuckled and leaned over to kiss Nates head.

"He's just like his dad." Carlos laughed, making James punch him lightly in the shoulder. Carlos chuckled and pulled Nate into his lap, looking at all of us.

"Okay, so let's open his presents, while James cuts the cake." Carlos smiled innocently at James, who laughed and shook his head as he grabbed a knife and began slicing the cake. Carlos opened the first box and smiled, looking up at Mama Knight and smiling,

"Oh, wow, thank you! He'll look so cute in these." Carlos bounced Nate on his leg and watched as the baby smiled and examined the clothes with interest. They outfit contained a small pair of blue denim jeans, an orange tee that read ,"I love my daddies" and a tan and brown colored plaid shirt. Apart, it didn't look good, but together it looks good.

Nate looked at the tee shirt and smiled, showing off his baby tooth that was finally growing in.

"See. He loves it!" James smiles and picks up the next box, which was wrapped in a light blue wrapping paper. Carlos smiles and holds it as Nate examines it, then smiles and proceeds to rip it off. I smiled as Carlos opens another box and pulls out some small black converse high tops.

"Oh! They're soooo cute!" Carlos cried, holding them up and showing James.

"You're welcome." Katie smiled.

"I like them." Drake piped up, smiling with icing all over his mouth. I chuckled and rubbed his hair, which Dak had styled like his, so they almost looked identical. Carlos smiled and rubbed some icing off his cheek.

"Okay, well when you start school, I'll buy you a pair." Carlos smiled.

"'me too, me too!" Veronica piped up.

"Okay, we'll buy you both pairs okay?" James said, leaning down and hugging his daughter.

"Thank you, Daddy!" she smiles and continues muting on the cake as Dak leans over and hands Carlos a bag.

"I hope he likes it."

Nate reaches into the blue bag and yanks out a toy train, that lights up, makes a steam blowing sound, and the wheels roll.

"It even moves,and when it bumps into something it'll move out of it's way."

"Gah!" Nate claps his hands and presses something on the train.

"Thats really cool. Makes my present look bad." I chuckle. Carlos and James laugh and Carlos holds up the baby, setting him on the table and supporting him so he won't fall as he sticks the train in his mouth and makes a "Gah-wa-wa" sound. I chuckle and reach under the table where I placed the bag. I set the white and balloon decorated bag on the table and I watched as Nate clapped and put the train down before grabbing for the bag.

He yanked out a pink unicorn pillow pet.

He went into hysterics, giggling his mind out. Carlos made an "aw" face, but James frowned.

"What? What's wrong?" I asked him.

"I...I kind of find that offensive."

"What? It's a pillow pet! No harm done." I frowned at him. He sighed and rubbed the back of his back.

"no, its making an assumption that since Carlos and I are gay, that our son will be gay."

"Whats so bad about being a homosexual?" I raised my hands in question. James sighed.

"Whats gay?" Veronica questioned. No one noticed her and I continued arguing.

"Because, being gay isn't accepted in society, Logan! You should know this! I don't want my son to go through that horrible experience." Carlos frowned at James.

"James, he's so young, there's no need-" Mama Knight started.

"No, because if he's exposed to it at such a young age, it won't turn out well!"

"Really, James you should listen-"

"Carlos-"

"No, stop, James and listen to yourself. You sound like an idiot, freaking out over something that we won't have to worry about for years, and you're ruining everyones time. Calm down, sit down and just have fun." james bit his lip and looked at me.

"Sorry, Logan. I just sort of..."

"I understand." he nods and sits down and silently stuffs a piece of cake in his mouth. Carlos sighs.

"Well, I guess thats it. Thank you all for the gifts."

"Wait." we all turn, and I blink. Kendalls been so quiet during the whole party that I've barely noticed him. He smiled at James and Carlos before standing and disappearing into the back bedroom. I looked down at his plate and I was surprised to see he wasn't really eating. He had just picked at the cake.

That confused me for a moment. Kendall eats a lot of organic food, but he can't deny his love for birthday cake. I pulled his plate towards me and continued to frown. Until I heard an "Oof!" and we all turned to watch as Kendall dragged a Teddy bear, a huge brown one, down the hallway and into the kitchen. Nate let out a small baby scream at it and we all watched his eyes bug out. James took the baby off the table and helped Nate stand on his feet. Nate started stepping slowly, watching his feet. We all watched as he stomped angrily for a moment, trying to figure out how to work his feet, then he giggled when he got it right.

Then he struggled away from James and we all watched him totter. Carlos instantly whipped his phone out and put it on camera, then we gasped as Nate started slowly walking towards the bear Kendall was struggling to hold up.

James covered his mouth as Kendall dropped the large bear and Nate fell on it's leg, giggling in happiness.

"He walked! He walked!" James cried and ran over to scoop Nate up, watching his son giggle and clap his hands. I smiled and followed everyone, walking over. Kendall was smiling, obviously happy the baby finally walked. I smiled and looked down to see Drake and Veronica looking downfallen. I wrapped my arms around their shoulders.

"Whats wrong guys?" drake looked up at me, and I glanced a look at Dak.

"I like that Teddy bear." Drake mumbled. Veronica looked up at me, her braids flying.

"Its not fair that Nate gets everything." she frowned and I looked up at Kendall. He winked and I frowned. What did he have in mind?

"Well, this Teddy bear isn't just for Nate. Its for all of you. But you have to share it."

"Really?" the twins screamed in unison. Kendall nodded and they screamed in happiness as they jumped on him. He smiled and rolled around with them as they pulled at the large bear. He seemed so happy, that I hoped he had finally returned to his normal self.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I was wrong.

After everyone left, Kendall settled into the corner of the couch and sat there, eyes clouded as he bopped balloons around. I sighed and settled next to him, letting him curl into me.

"You okay?"

He said nothing. I finally sighed and pulled him back.

"Whats wrong with you lately? you're so quiet, and distant...I'm starting to worry about you."

"M okay." he mumbled. I looked him in the eye.

"Stop lying. Whats wrong with you?"

He shrugged and I sighed.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?"

"Yeah."

"Then, go ahead. Don't hesitate. I wont judge you."

He gave a shaky exhale and his eyes darted around the room.

"I...Logan...I..."

"Yes?"

"I...I...am...wanting to go to Guitar dudes party tonight! Yeah!" I raised a suspicious eyebrow at him.

"You...wanna go to Guitar Dudes party?"

"Y-yeah! I mean, Katies spending the night at her friends and so is my mom, so why not?"

"I...guess we could."

"Cool. Lets go." he grabbed my hand and yanked me towards the door, but slowing down just enough so I could grab my keys off the counter. He let my hand go as we walked out the door, so I could turn around and lock it, and he walked down to the elevator. I looked after him and sighed. I knew he was lying...but...what about I don't know.

As we stood in the elevator, he slipped his fingers through mine and clung tightly to me, curling against my body. I felt my cheeks heat up, and I blushed at such affection he was showing me.

The elevator dinged and we parted a little as we exited.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The party was like any party you'd see that had young adults in it.

Wasted people were dancing in the crowded living room, some guys were smoking something odd on the couch, and a lesbian couple were making out in the corner.

Okay, not EXACTLY like a usual party but pretty close.

I pulled Kendall into the room, watching his face pale, and his cheeks turn a little green. I leaned close to him, hugging his body to mine.

"We don't have to be here if you don't wanna." I yelled over the music.

"I-I'm fine!"

I sighed and led him to a large loveseat that had one couple clinging to each other on one side. I sat down and pulled Kendall into my lap so we could fit, hugging his back to my chest.

"You okay?"

"Yeah."

"Wanna dance?" I asked as Kendall shifted in my lap. He bit his lip and nodded, standing up as the song "So Good" by a B.O.B came on. I knew how much Kendall liked this song, so I lead him over to the middle of the floor and grabbed one of his hands. We rocked and jumped, and basically just went crazy to this song.

Well, I did.

Kendall showed a bit of reluctance, and he pressed. A hand to his stomach and grimaced towards the end of the song.

"You okay?" I yelled over the next song as it came on. Kendall nodded.

"D-do you want a drink?" I frowned at him and looked towards the ounce bowl, which was probably laced with tons of alcohol. I had a really stupid YOLO moment, swearing to myself never to use that phrase again, and I nodded at Kendall. He smiled and scurried away. I frowned at him, and ended up standing there like an idiot. I was bumped into by random girls, grinding against me and moving. I groaned, overcome by the smell of their perfume, but I groaned gently as one girl moved a bit weird against me, and my groin flickered.

I stood there as she dipped down, and as she did, a light flickered around the room, like a disco globe and it landed on my engagement ring. It shone brightly, and my heart thumped and sagged. God, what was I doing? I should be cuddling on the couch with Kendall, watching movies under a huge comforter, hugging him close, not at this raunchy party.

I shoved the girls away and made my way around the group of people dancing. I spotted a glimpse of blonde hair and ran after them, disappointed to see it wasn't Kendall. I sighed, grumbling to myself. I ran a hand through my hair and grabbed a drink off a table, not caring at the moment as I downed it. Now, usually I'm a nerd, but sometimes I take chances.

The buzz hit me, and I grabbed another drink, chugging it down. I wasn't in a good mood right now, because I couldn't see Kendall anywhere, even though I should be able to spot him. He's pretty tall. I sighed and started walking around, looking for those blonde locks.

But I came face to face,across a room full of strangers, with brown curls. They pointed a finger at me and shrieked.

"MITCHELL!"

Damn it. Camille.

I groaned and started walking away, grabbing another drink at the same time. The buzz was really hitting me now, and I really wanted to get out of there. I was starting to stumble.

I darted down a hallway, but was grabbed and pinned to the wall. I groaned and frowned down at Camille. She was pouting.

Well, it's not like I could hit her!

"Logan, please give me another chance. I-I can be better! I can be better than Kendall!" I sighed and laid my head against the wall.

"Camille, we're over. We have been. How many times have we tried, and failed?" well, good thing I still am capable of speech.

"But-"

"No. That's my final word on the subject. I'm with Kendall now."

"God! Are you really so stupid! I'm basically GIVING myself to you! And you reject ME!" she slapped me and I grimaced in pain for a moment, but I'm so used to it by now, that it doesn't matter. I shoved her away in search for Kendall. Then she shoved me back against the wall and placed her lips on mine, pressing hard. I tried pushing her away, but she kept fighting back, forcing her tongue into my mouth. I grimaced at the taste of her and finally bit down on her tongue.

"YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!" she screamed as I shoved her away once more. I rolled my eyes and flipped her off as I started opening doors to rooms. I opened one bedroom and found no one, thank god. But the next door was locked, and i could hear moans and grunts coming from inside. My stomach curdled at the thought of Kendall being the one in there, but I moved along, hoping what I was thinking wasn't true.

I opened a closet, found a drunk guy unconscious, so I closed the door and left him there, continuing to the final door. I opened it and discovered a dimly lit bathroom, and a blonde with his head in the toilet.

"Kendall?"

He looked up at me and I darted over, rubbing his back as he vomited. He looked up at me with bleary eyes.

"Logan, take me home."

I immediately scooped him up, holding him close. I tucked his head into my shoulder and hurried out of there, passing by everyone, all of them giving me weird looks. I just walked on by and hurried into the elevator.

I knew that was a bad idea.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

I sent the next hour helping Kendall through a series of stomach cramps and vomit before his stomach finally settled. I guess he had to much to drink.

I helped him stand on his woozy feet and helped him to our bedroom, where we showered quickly and changed,sliding into bed. I wrapped our large comforter around us and propped our heads up with pillows.

I switched on South Park to make Kendall happy. He snuggled into my chest and looked up at me with teary eyes.

"I-Im sorry, Logan." I kissed him and pulled him closer to me.

"Its okay. It's my fault for letting us go. I should've said no."

He laid his head back down on my chest and sighed, before shutting his eyes.

"Did...did you like any of those girls?"

I raised my head in nervousness. Damn, he saw me?

"Kendall-"

"Did you think any of them were pretty?"

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair as he raised his head to look at me. I looked at him.

"Yeah. They were pretty." His eyes filled slowly,and his bottom lip were trembled, but I placed my thumb on his chin and moved his lip around.

"But you? You are beautiful." I whispered as I leaned close and kissed him.

"I don't see anybody else but you,Kendall. A million girls could be standing in front of me, but I would push them all away just to get to you." He blinked and his tears dropped as I kissed him again.

"I love you." he whispered as he caressed my cheek.

"I love you, too."

He fell asleep soon after, but it felt like I stayed up all night, nibbling on my thumbnail and looking at him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kendalls stomach hasn't settled for about a week, and he's been betting really fidgety around me. Everytime his stomach starts hurting, he's been begging to go back to the doctor.

"Come on, Logan, please, I need to go back." I looked at him with a raised eyebrow. I'm starting to really wonder about this sickness he has.

"Why? I thought the doctors already gave you pills for your stomach." I eyed him as he bit his lip.

"I...I'm still not feeling well. I think I need more pills."

"Your...not getting addicted to them...are you?" I asked with caution. He's been emotional lately, sometimes I'll wake up and find him crying in his sleep.

"No! Of course not!"

I rubbed his forehead and sighed.

"Do you need me to take you?"

"No...i'll go by myself. Save you the wasted time." he kissed me on the forehead, leaving me confused as he left. As soon as I was sure he was gone, I stood up and walked into our room, picking up the laptop and carrying it back with me to the living room. I got onto google and immediately typed in as many of Kendalls symptoms that I could think up. Mainly vomiting.

One of the searches was anorexia, or bulimia.

The more I thought about it, though, whenever I mention Kendalls weight he flips out, and sometimes i just walk into the bathroom AFTER hes thrown up...maybe he was forcing himself to puke? But, wait,wouldn't he be getting thinner?

I see no reason for Kendall to be bulimic. I moved on to the next search.

Psychological Depression?

I groaned and squeezed my eyes shut, rubbing them. This might be hard.

Moving on, the next search was an ulcer. That...seemed possible. But wait, wouldn't he be throwing up blood? Well...it's not like I paid attention to the color of his puke. Still, I put it as a possibility. I scrolled through the pages to the next search.

Acid reflux?

I...I don't know.

I'm running out of options. Kendall could be faking it for all I know. I know of some bulimic people using emetic, or other medicines to make themselves sick so they look innocent. And maybe Kendall could not be sick anymore...maybe he was making himself look sick so he could go get meds to help.

I rubbed my forehead. Why was this so hard? Why wasn't he telling me anything anymore? We used to share all sorts of secrets, but ever since he proposed to me that night, he's been seriously distant. He's like a stranger to me now, and everyday he looks worse. He's pale, and has deep bags under his eyed, and his cheeks have sunk in a little. His skin is sort of greasy, which I don't get because he's almost never eating. He picks at his food now and excuses himself before everyones finished eating.

I sighed. I really needed to figure this out, and fast, because I don't think my heart can take much more of this. I put bulimia down on my possibility list and kept going,

The last search surprised me. Pregnancy?

But, Kendall couldn't get pregnant. He's already been checked, especially after that huge episode with Carlos, James, and Dak nearly three years ago. I was checked, too, and they didn't find the disease in any of us.

So I ruled that out. I sighed and closed the laptop, leaning my head back against the couch. Then I had an idea. I pulled out my phone and dialed James's number.

"Hello?"

"Hey, James, whatcha doing?"

"Carlos, the kids, and I are about to head to the pool. Whats up?"

"Look, I need you to do me a favor. Don't ask, but when Kendall gets back, can you look for him in the lobby and ask him if he wants to swim and hang out at the pool?"

"Yeah, sure...why though?"

"Long story, okay?"

"Alrighty. But, Logan you realize you can call me whenever you need to, right?"

"I know. Thanks, James."

"Welcome."

I turned on the tv and waited. Around thirty minutes rolled by before the door opened and Kendall stepped inside. I frowned when I noticed he had a white bag in his hand, and it wasn't see through. He could've gotten anything. He smiled, a genuine small smile, at me and set down the bag, leaning over to kiss me.

"Hey, whatcha watching?"

I didn't know what I was watching really, because I had been so deep in thought about this situation. I looked at the TV and thanked the lord when I saw it was the discovery channel, so I could play it off.

"A documentary."

"Oh, sounds cool. But hey, Carlos and James asked me to go swimming, so I'm going to head down there, okay?"

"Okay, have fun." please leave the bag.

He picked up the bag and walked into our room, making me groan to myself. But I wait a few minutes after he leaves before I hop up and run to our room. I instantly start searching, looking for where he might've put whatever he bought. I search the cabinets in the bathroom and find nothing. I search in every bottle and box, making sure everything where it's supposed to be. I grumble and leave the bathroom, heading over to our bed. I start searching in kendalls bedside table, when I eye the bag in the trashcan. Then I start digging through his stuff.

I know it's a violation of his privacy, but I would feel ten times worse if Kendall becomes ill or overdoses by accident. I search through all his stuff and find nothing. The only medicine I find is the ones he has to take for his cancer treatments. I sigh when I see the prescription bottles are refilled, so I guess I was wrong, I guess he just needed his medicine refilled.

I sit down on our bed and nibble on my thumbnail, which is starting to become shorter and shorter. Okay, why would Kendall lie about needing to get his medicine refilled? I mean, thats not a reason to lie, is it?

I shift on kendalls side of the bed, but I stop when I hear a weird nose. Then,I shift again, being more quiet this time. I hear it, a small crinkling sound. I stand up and stare down at our mattress.

Then I angrily grab it and move it, my eyebrows furrowing together when I see two sets of envelopes. I grab them and rip the first open dumping the contents on the mattress. I rip open the second one and dump it along with the first. My eyes widen and I put a hand over my mouth.

Ultrasound pictures. About four of them. The first envelope contained one picture, of a small peanut shaped blob. The second was bigger, and one end of the peanut was larger, along with a few blobs at the end. A few papers were scattered on the bed, but I noticed the one that was written in messy, but fancy writing, like a girls writing. It was a phone number.

I put it together.

Kendall had obviously went and gotten some...some...some skank pregnant! I clench my fists and gritted my teeth. God, all that bullshit of "I love you" was a lie! I grabbed the number and thought about crumpling it. But, I decided to call it, at least know the bitches name.

I know I'm not used to this sort of attitude, but I'm literally so mad. What kind of bitch would go near my man? I quickly dialed the number, messing up a few times I was so mad, before calling them. I sat there as the phone rang and rang. God, I swear I'm going to kill this bitch. Whoever she is.

Finally, the other end was picked up.

"Hello, this is Los Angeles Abortion clinic center, do you need to schedule an appointment?"

My jaw dropped.

"Hello? Sir?"

"Do...do you have any names under 'Knight?' 'Kendall Knight' more specifically?"

"Sorry, sir, but we can't give out confidential patients records." the woman answered. I swallowed hard.

"P-please...I need to know. It's desperate."

She was quiet for a moment.

"How desperate?" she whispered.

"I...I think my partner cheated on me...and is now getting rid of the baby. Please I just need to know...before I marry this person. I need to know if I can trust them or not." tears are dripping steadily down my face and I can hear the woman on the other end sigh.

"Alright, give me a moment sweetheart."

She's quiet and I start tapping my fingers, praying and hoping that this is all a big joke. Or at elates a bad dream. I hear her sigh and papers rustle.

"I'm very sorry...we have an appointment set up next week under the name Kendall Knight. He called and said it had to be done soon and quickly. Are you sure she got pregnant?" I sniff and rub my eyes. Of course, she thinks Kendall's a girl. He probably called and used a fake tone to make him sound like a girl, so the real bitch doesn't have to do it. What a coward.

I grit my teeth and clench my fists.

"Yeah...t-thank you. I just needed to know."

"Im so sorry, dear."

"No thank you. You've been a big help."

I cut the line and put my head in my hands as I start bawling. I can't believe this. I just can't! Why? Why would Kendall hurt me? What did I ever do?

Why does he always seem to be the one hurting me? I wipe my eyes and stand up, pacing the room. I can't do this. I can't, not anymore. I can't get hurt anymore. All the lies, and bull crap he's put me through. I need to end this.

I grab my duffle bag and start shoveling clothes in, dialing kendalls number, so when he gets up here, and after I end things, I can go someplace else. I don't think...I don't think I can be around him anymore. My heart thumps hard and I grip my chest. It hurts so bad.

I sit down and wait for him to answer the phone.

And this time, its over. For good.

His line picks up.

"Hello?"

**A/N**

**ANNNDDDDD SCENE! HAHAHA CLIFFHANGER! too bad for y'all! You're gonna have to wait until next time!**

**How did I do on the drama scenes? Tell me!**

**Ya know...press the button...below...**

**Love ya!**

**FAQ**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N**

**Continues on from the last chapter.**

**Kendalls POV**

I guess I've been regretting a lot of decisions Ive been making lately.

I regretted going to that party, especially. When I turned to get drinks, my stomach started hurting really badly. It didn't help when I turned back around and found girls all over Logan. He's been pretty popular with girls after we all came out being gay, but I have no clue why.

I waited for Logan to push them away, but a look of pleasure passed over his face and I felt my heart thump, in a bad way. I set the drinks down and hung my head, because it seemed like Logan was having a better time than I was. I turned and walked away, heading anywhere that was better than where I had been standing.

I finally settled into one of the bedrooms, curling up onto the bed. My stomach was cramping and really, REALLY hurting, and I groaned, pulling my knees up.

Bad move.

I stood quickly and dashed towards the bathroom, throwing open the door and shoving out the couple that was in there. I tossed the lid up and began puking, emptying anything that was in my stomach. My throat burned and I gripped my stomach, sobbing gently.

"Kendall!"

I looked up through teary eyes at Logan, wiping my eyes as he helped me to my feet, then scooped me up. I sighed and tucked my head into his shoulder as he carried me through the crowd. I tucked my head, and turned away from their harsh glares and whispers as we left.

Logan held me all the way to the apartment, and then took us into our bedroom, slipping us into the warm water, washing us before getting us into bed.

I curled into his side, really ashamed. I still was lying to him, about everything, and I was paying for it. I sighed as he wrapped his arm around me and yanked the large comforter around us.

"I-Im sorry, Logan." I knew he wouldn't understand, but its all I had on my mind right now. He kissed me and sighed.

"Its okay. It's my fault for letting us go. I should've said no."

I laid my head down on his chest and shut my eyes.

"Did...did you like any of those girls?" I bit my lip. God, I hope...I hope his answer won't be the one that I'm expecting.

"Kendall-"

"Did you think any of them were pretty?"

Logan sighed and ran his fingers through my hair, kissing my forehead. I nibbled on my lip and held everything back.

"Yeah. They were pretty." I felt my eyes fill with tears and my bottom lip trembled uncontrollably. But, Logan placed his thumb on my bottom lip and moved my lip around.

"But you? You are beautiful." He whispered to me. I let my tears dribble, because I really wasn't expecting him to say that.

"I don't see anybody else but you,Kendall. A million girls could be standing in front of me but I would push them all away just to get to you." I blinked and let more tears drop as he kissed me again.

"I love you." I whispered as I caressed his cheeks with the pads of my fingers.

"I love you, too." he whispered back.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Over the course of the next week, I was getting more depressed. I surprised the urges to indulge and eat, no matter how bad the cravings got. I was getting bigger around my torso, and it was getting harder to move.

All that could go through my mind was that my baby was getting bigger and bigger. I'm pretty sure I'm around the middle of my second month about now, and the little voice in the back of my mind kept yelling at me to go back to the doctor.

It didn't help that Dr Long kept calling me and reminding me of my doctors appointment. I sighed and opened my bedside table, taking out the medicine I had to take every day. I sighed when I needed them to be refilled. Like now.

I took the ones I needed today and put the empty bottles into the trashcan. I sighed and slipped on my shoes, with a bit of difficulty since my belly was firm and a bit rounder than normal.

I stood and pulled on my jacket, walking out to sit beside Logan.

"I need to go to the doctor."

He frowned at me and I sighed.

"Come on, Logan,please I need to go back."

"Why? I thought the doctor already gave you pills."

Damn, there goes my idea.

"Your...not getting addicted to pills are you?"

"No! Of course not!" I watched him set the book down that he was reading and sigh.

"Do you need me to take you?"

"N-no its okay!" I darted off the couch before he could say anything and out the door.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I sat on the examining table, swinging my legs nervously as I wait for my doctors to come in. I huff and pace the room as the few minutes I'm exaggerating over tick by. Finally Dr Long and Dr Richard opened the door and Dr Long smiled at me. Her hair was combed back into a braid and she looked happy. She clasped her clipboard to her chest and smiled.

"Hey, Mr Knight! How are you and the little bigger doing?" she squeezed my belly gently and I blushed.

"good...I guess. I-I need an ultrasound and a checkup."

She smiled at me and walked the closet to get the ultrasound machine again. I watched Dr Richard roll his eyes and lean against the counter as I laid back and yanked up my shirt.

"I still think we should research this a bit more, for all we know this could be a tumor! I mean, does this man even know the risks of this, if it's even real, pregnancy?"

Dr Long puts the gel on my belly and starts moving the remote around.

"Oh, shut up. You heard the heart beat last time, and you believed it! And now you're going against it?"

"R-Risks?" I looked at Dr Richard and Dr Long with wide eyes.

"We'll discuss it after-"

The sudden sound of that beautiful sound goes through the room, and I smile sadly, looking at the screen. The heartbeat is loud and clear,and I gaze at the screen, letting my tears run down my cheeks. The baby is a bit bigger than last time, so now I can see where it's head is.

"Theres the little bugger! Now, we can see the head. The heartbeat sounds good and clear, no other residual heartbeats-"

"What does that mean?"

She looks at me and smiles.

"It means I'm not just looking for heartbeat but more. Sometimes, we can find other heartbeats, indicating twins or more this early."

"There aren't any others are there?" she shakes her head.

"Nope, nothing. Just one baby." she switched the machine off and prints me a picture. She hands a napkin and the picture to me. I wipe my stomach off and sigh, looking down at the picture. I wipe my tears away.

"What are the risks?"

Dr Long sighs and glares at Dr Richard, before taking her clipboard and sitting it on her lap. She sighed.

"Since your pregnancy is unusual, there are a few risks. One of them is a miscarriage. One of them is that your baby could be autistic or deformed in some way."

"and the other?" I bit my lip.

"And another is death. Your body isn't made for this sort of risk, and it could really challenge your body. It can weaken your immune system, cut off some blood to your organs and even make some of them shut down. Your baby could even mess up something in your stomach, like your digest track, or something in your bowels."

I bite my lip and give the doctor a look.

"I...I cant have this baby."

"What?" Dr Long gives me a sad, and shocked look. I hang my head shamefully.

"Well, Logan doesn't know about the baby. And he wants to become a doctor, so having this baby will just ruin everything for him and...and I can't be the one to ruin his dreams." I looked at the ultrasound picture before looking up at the doctor will tears flowing down my cheeks.

"I need to get an abortion. And get the uterus removed." Dr Long hangs her head.

"Okay...but are you sure?"

"Yes."

She gives a sad exhale and grabs a notepad. She hesitates before jotting down a number and handing it to me.

"Here, this is the number of an abortion clinic. Sadly enough I have a friend there who owes me a favor. Ask for Janice, and she'll make the appointment as soon and as secretly as possible."

"Thank you." I hop off the bed and walk to the door. As I grab the door knob, I look at Dr Richard, then at Dr Long.

"Wait, Kendall! Are you sure about this?"

I squeeze my eyes shut and nod, leaving and heading to the pharmacist counter and grabbing my meds, before I leave. But I stop in a parking lot not to far away, pulling my knees up to my chest and sobbing. I cry not for just myself, but for my baby. I bawl harder, before I force myself to man up and call the abortion clinic.

"Hello?"

"Hi, may I speak to Janice? Its important."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I force myself to calm down again before I head inside, and today I decided I'll tell Logan about the baby. He deserves to at least know about his son or daughter before I...I do the deed.

I lay my head against the steering wheel, breathing deeply, forcing my tears back, then I run my fingers though my hair and grab my heads, sniffingly as I climb out of the car.

I'm making my way across the lobby slowly, feeling so depressed, that I'm not sure if I can even go inside the apartment. I sigh and press the elevator buttons, hesitating before pressing the up button.

"Kendall! hey! Kendall!"

I turn and spot James walking towards me, holding Veronicas hand. Their both decked out in swimsuits, but their completely dry. Veronica looks a bit burned, and James is tanner than usual.

"Hey, guys. Jesus, James you're daughter looks like shes been frying! Have you put any suntan lotion on her?"

James sighed.

"Yeah, but Im heading back upstairs to grab some more and get her a popsicle."

"Well, I hope that cools her down."

The elevator opens and James steps in with me, veronica holding onto her dad.

"Hey, you wanna join Carlos and I? We could use a friend."

I bite my lip.

"Yeah, I guess so. I just gotta go into the apartment and grab my stuff and change."

"Okay. Meet you down there." he smiles as the doors open and I step out, hurrying down the hall. I stop outside the door and stare at the door, suddenly hesitating. I don't think i can go in and face Logan with my secret.

I grip the doorknob and sigh. Would he get angry at me, or depressed or...confused? Would we go through drama, like James an Carlos?

I'm begging that we don't.

I open the door, and flinch a little when I see Logan.

I walk over and kiss him, hoping that I can make this up to him one day.

"Whatcha watching?" I flicked my eyes towards the screen and saw it was Discovery Channel, so most likely a documentary.

"a documentary." yep.

"Oh, sounds cool. But hey, Carlos and james asked me to go swimming, so I'm going to head down there okay?"

"Okay, have fun." I sighed when I saw his eyes glued to the TV. Logan and his documentaries.

I walked into our room and stripped quickly, changing into a pair of swimming trunks that were orange. I stopped when I saw my stomach, and I ran my fingers over the sensitive skin. I saw stretch marks, a few of them, and I winced. I let a tear fall, because I knew those would be the only remainders of the baby.

I shook my head and put on a t-shirt, before I grabbed the bag and pulled out my medicine. I sighed and out them back in their original places in my nightstand, before I took my ultrasound pictures and the abortion clinics number. I looked around the room, looking for a place Logan wouldn't find them by accident. Finally I lifted the mattress on my side and put the pictures under there.

I grabbed a towel and left quickly, not knowing if I could stand having the ultrasound pictures and Logan in the same apartment for long before spilling everything.

XXXXXXXXXX

I mustve dozed off, because I woke up, lying on the chair I had sat down on a while ago. Veronica was snuggled up in my side, where I distinctly remember grabbing her to give her a noogie. My arm was wrapped around her and she was smiling.

I sat up gently and yawned, glancing over next to me to find James sitting on a chair, reading a magazine. Carlos and Nate were in the pool, the baby was in a float and bursting with happiness as his dad swam under him and surprised him by popping out of the water. Drake and Dak were sitting by the pool side, drinking smoothie and flicking water on each other with their toes.

I smiled, because everything seemed peaceful.

"Hey sleepyhead." I turned and smiled at James.

"How long was I out?"

"Forty five minutes. How you feeling?"

"Tired. I think I need a real bed." I stretched, making sure I didn't wake Veronica up, before I jumped. My phone was vibrating in my pocket.

"You okay?" James frowned at me. I smiled and whipped my phone out.

"Yeah, Logan is calling me." I pressed receive on my phone and put it to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Where are you?" I frowned. Logans voice was hard...almost cold.

"A-at the pool. W-why?" I wasn't so sure about his behavior. I heard him grumble and I shivered.

"Get up here."

"But-"

"GET UP HERE! NOW.". The line disconnected and I shivered, shocked. My hand shook hard as I put the phone back in my pocket and I turned to look at James. He smiled at me, but his eyes filled with worry and he looked concern.

"Oh, my god, Kendall are you okay?"

"I-I need to go."

"What?"

"I-I need to go. L-Logan needs me."

James face was etched with concern as I stood up, setting his daughter on his chest and made my way upstairs. The closer I got to 2J, the worse my breathing got. I started feeling numb, and very scared. What was going on?

I opened the door slowly and walked in, shutting the door silently behind me.

"L-Logan?" I walked into our room and my heart raced when I saw the mattress moved, and a duffel bag sat on top of it, half filled with clothes. Logan sat next to it, holding the ultrasound pictures.

Oh...god. He knew.

He stood so quickly, I stumbled back. My bottom lip started trembling and I reached towards him.

"Logan-"

"Tell me, Kendall. What is this?" he threw the pictures down at my feet and I stared down at them, tears dribbling off my cheeks.

"Whose baby is it?" I looked up at him, raising my eyebrows. Whose baby?

"Logans it's-it's-"

"STOP BEING A PUSSY AND TELL ME! WHO?" he grabbed me by the front of my shirt and dragged me closer to him, pressing our noses together. My knees wobbled and nearly gave out, so Loganwas basically holding me up, pressing my teary face to his sneering, angry one. I've...I've never seen him so mad... I began crying as he began shaking me.

"Whose? Why? Why did you cheat on me?"

"Logan! It's not like that!"

"Why? I thought you loved me! Why did you lie?" I see hot tears falling off his cheeks and I sob.

"Logan, please let me-"

"Tell me! I wanna know!"

"Its mine!"

He frowns at me and rolls his eyes.

"Stop being an idiot! Whose baby is it?"

I stand slowly, wobbling. I take his hands and gently pry them from my shirt. I raise my shirt and take it off, throwing it down. Logan is sneering at me, but then I sob.

"Logan, look at me. Does this look normal?"

He eyes me but then looks down, his eyes widening at the sight of my belly, which has grown a bit larger, with a few stretch marks. The veins are popping out in a few places. He shakes his head and raises his fist. I flinch and he screams at me

"Stop fooling around! Tell me the truth!"

"I am!" I cry desperately. My knees finally DO give out and I fall to the floor, curling up in a ball, protecting myself from Logans hit that he's bound to give.

"Stop lying!"

"IM NOT! y-you can ask the m-my doctors! I-I went in for that ultrasound t-today!" Logan sneers at me and I sob harder.

"l-look at the name in the corner." he shakes his head and picks up the recent ultrasound, staring down at it. He frowns and looks at me.

"Its your name, but they usually put the moms name." I look at him and finally he's hit with the truth.

"your serious?" I nod and he blinks rapidly.

"m-my doctor g-gave me those meds, b-but s-something in them c-caused me to get a u-uterus and have the baby." Logan frowns and sets the picture down, before grabbing me and picking me up off the floor.

"Get dressed."

"Why?"

"JUST DO IT!" he shrieks. I flinch and turn away from him, rubbing my belly as I begin sobbing harder.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

As soon as I had out my shoes on, Logan was dragging me forcibly by the wrist down to the car. Everyone we passed gave us a weird look, but Logan kept going. We got to the lobby and I hoped no one saw that I was crying.

"Kendall! Logan!" Logan stopped and turned to see James and Carlos coming towards us. James had a worried look on his face.

"Guys, what's going on?" James looked between us and looked confused.

"Im taking him to the hospital." Logan grumbled. James's eyebrows went up and he looked at me.

"Oh...god..."

"He found out." I whispered quietly. Carlos looks at all of us and gives a huff.

"Someone explain whats going on here!"

James sighed and gripped logans shoulder.

"Let us come with, so you and Carlos can get the full story."

"Hurry up." they nodded and Logan looked at me. He had anger in him, but I could tell it wasn't directed at me. I wonder why. He makes me sit on one of the couches and I sit there, hanging my head with shame. James and Carlos come hurrying back down, only with Nate in tow this time. Carlos held the baby carrier and looked at us.

"We got Dak to take Drake and Veronica. Lets go."

Logan made us all pile into the car, after grabbing Nates car seat and sped off towards the hospital, driving fast. I pressed myself to the car door, staring out the window. I felt so low. So ashamed. Guilty.

But, still, Logan wasn't mad at me. But, wait, then who was he mad at?

As soon as we pulled into the parking lot, Logan was dragging me towards the hospital at full speed, walking in. The receptionist yelled something after us, but we continued walking fast. We rode up the elevator and Logan dragged me off, guiding me down hallways, following the signs.

But still, where we going.

Then I saw the sign "ONCOLOGY CENTER" which meant he was...in search of my doctor that registered me the medicine for my cancer!

"Wait! Logan!" but it was to late as the doctor, I recognized him to well, came out from behind a door and Logan let go of me. His fist flew through the air and he smacked the unknowing doctor hard and well.

"OW! GOD!" Dr Montgomery fell and I gasped when I saw his nose was bleeding. He glared up at Logan.

"What the hell!"

"Those medicines! You knew he could get pregnant! why did you give him the meds?" the doctor looked confused, but then looked at me. His eyes went wide.

"I...I didn't...I knew the...the risk of it...but it's not common for a man to grow a uterus! How was I supposed to know you two were gay? I didn't even know!"

"YOU SON OF A-" Logans fist went back, but James appeared by him and grabbed it. Logan whorled and glared at James.

"I told you not to come! You see why?"

"Yeah, but if we hadn't, you would've beaten the shit out of an innocent man, and most probably gone to jail. And how do you think that'll look on you? Big Time Rush? You won't be able to get into med school probably!" Logan glared at James, who narrowed his eyes back.

"Stay out of this!" he shoved James. James didn't do anything, but I saw his fists clench. I gasped and looked at Carlos, who looked confused, scared, and worried above anything else. He was holding Nate to his chest, who was crying and bawling his eyes out. He looked at me and handed me the baby.

"I-I need to stop them." I took Nate and hugged him, continuing to watch everyone. Dr Montgomery was still lying on the floor, his nose still dripping as James and Logan continued to shove each other.

"Stay out of this, already!"

"I've been through this! TWICE! I know what I'm talking about!"

"No you don't you idiot! Carlos was made to give kids, but Kendall wasn't! So back off!" Logan shoved James, who finally raised his fist and punched Logan. Logan stumbled back, but glared and attacked James.

I gasped and backed away, stumbling and almost falling. Except someone caught me.

I glanced back and saw two security guards, one of them helping me to my feet, the other running over to James and Logan. I watched a few more dart past and pull them off each other.

"Kendall!" I turned my head to see Dr Long and Dr Richard running towards me at full speed, Dr Long abandoning her heels and holding them in her hands as she ran towards me.

"Whats going on?"

"L-Logan f-found out about the baby. And the abortion." I felt my bottom lip shake uncontrollably and Dr Long shushed me, pulling me and Nate into her arms.

"Shhhh...stop stressing. It might cause a problem with the baby." I nodded and sucked it up, give a shaky exhale as she let me go and walked over to James and Logan.

"You two! Stop it!"

"BUT-"

"HE-"

She held her hands up and gave both of them threatening looks. She turned to the guards holding them both.

"Take them all to my office. I'll be down there in a moment." James and Logan were dragged away, both of them stumbling over their feet. I watched my doctor put her heels back on and knelt next to the oncologist.

"Your nose isn't broken. You should be fine." she helped him to his feet and watched him groan. He glared at me.

"Control your damn boyfriend." he grumbled before marching away, in need of a tissue. I hung my head and looked at Nate, who had stopped bawling and was now looking at Dr Long, well her breasts really, with interest. Guess he doesn't see those often. Carlos took the baby from me and hurried after James, leaving me standing there. I didn't know what to do.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked at Dr Long. Tall, pretty, platinum blonde hair that was soft looking, young, caring.

How the hell is she a doctor?

She smiles at me.

"Dont worry, we'll get this settled. Come on." she gently lead me down to her office.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I didn't know Dr Long was head of her own department. She was a diagnostician, and had a sort of large office with a glass wall that served as a window.

Carlos and Nate and I were settled onto a small futon like couch on the wall beside her desk, about half my leg stretched out away. James and Logan sat in front of her desk, skulking like little kids in time out.

"What you both did was unacceptable. Be happy the Dean wasn't here, or else she would've handled things worse. Now, Logan, obviously you need to be caught up on the situation."

"I-I do to." Carlos mumbled. She gave him a small smile and nodded.

"Dont worry, this information is for everyone here. I'm going to tell you guys everything I told Kendall." she looks at me and I nod.

"When Kendall was diagnosed with cancer, he was given different types of medicine, one of them contained estrogen. Generous amounts of estrogen, which is a product in women, which gives them a uterus. Since Carlos has a disease, his body produces the amount of them naturally."

"Oh so that's why he started having periods." James mumbles. I watched as Carlos's face went red and I chuckled. He looked at me and glared, so i quickly shut up. Dr Long sighed and continued.

"Most men get prostate cancer at 40, or 30 as their youngest. They have enough testosterone to cancel all the estrogen out. Since Kendall had it so young, his body wasn't exactly matured to that point, so his body sort of built up all that estrogen, made a blind uterus and gestational sac. I'm also presuming that his body made an estrogen canal, which is natural for women to oust the baby out, also with Carlos. I'm guessing when Logan and Kendall had intercourse, the estrogen canal was already sort of completed, so the sperm traveled up into Kendalls uterus, which had developed eggs because of the estrogen,and well nature took its course."

"I still don't see how that's possible." Logan mumbled. Dr Long sighed and reached into a folder.

"Actually, it happens. Not often, so Kendalls doctor wasn't aware of this. Just barely, so he's not to blame There have been about fifteen reports of this, all the males of around 14-22 getting pregnantbecause the estrogen, and yes they were all homosexual."

"What did they do with the babies?" I piped up. Logan glared at me and I quieted.

"Well, four of them had miscarriages. Five of them carried to full term and four of those five gave the babies away. Two of them had abortions."

"and the last four?" Carlos bounces Nate on his lap and looks at the doctor. She stares at her hands and then looks up with a bit of sadness.

"The last four tried carrying to full term. Two of them went into labor and both the baby and the carrier died. One fell at home, killed the baby and also died, because his body couldn't support him or the baby and his muscles gave out. He suffered a heart attack and fell down the stairs." she spins gently in her chair, back and forth, obviously wanting to avoid the last one. But Logan sighs and sits up straight, looking at her.

"And the last one?"

She bites her lip.

"He went in his sleep. His organs shut down. And the baby died. He was three weeks to giving birth."

I wiped my eyes and turned away, because I didn't want to know anymore. But still, I felt like I needed to know.

"W-what about the ones with miscarriages?"

She sighs and crosses her long pale legs.

"One of them was doing excersises, just got his blood pumping to fast and the baby died. He was three months along. One of them miscarried because he was doing yoga one day, moved wrong, tore the gestational sac. The next lifted something heavy, hurt his back, and the uterus ruptured somehow and he miscarried."

She pinches the bridge of her nose and sighs.

"The last one...was actually close to me. He is a good friend of mine, and when he found out he was pregnant he was ecstatic, and scared. He ended up expecting twins. But...he was walking into the clinic when he collapsed and bleed. His body just couldn't simply handle it."

I begin bawling, not knowing how horrible that mustve been. But Dr Long knelt beside me and rubbed my legs.

"Calm down, Kendall. I already told you, stressing yourself out isn't good for the baby." I began breathing calmly, trying to calm myself down. I wiped my eyes and leaned onto her shoulder.

"b-but it's just so horrible! Those...those poor babies...an-and those people."

"Shhh.. It's okay." Carlos rubs my back. I sighed, letting out shaky exhale and I sit up.

"okay...I'm good." I pull my knees up to my chest and rock gently.

"And there are...well, risks to this sort of pregnancy. Like I said, he could have a miscarriage, his heart or muscles could give out. His baby could be autistic or deformed. The baby could shut down his organs, or ruin something in his stomach. The baby could even poison kendalls blood. Or he could..."

"He could die?" Logan said, bluntly. Dr Long nodded and Logan gave a cold laugh.

"Wow! To think you held this information from me!" he yelled at me. I frowned.

"Hey! I had reasons!"

"Like what?"

"Like this!" I waved my arms at the room we were sitting in.

"I knew we would have some sort of drama with this, and you can't deny it! I bet you, even if I told you, we'd still end up here!" Logan narrowed his eyes at me.

"Oh, yeah? And when were you even gonna tell me about this baby? AFTER the abortion?"

"How do you know about the abortion?" I stood up and so did he. We glared at each other.

"abortion?" Carlos whispered. James looked up at me with a sad expression in his hazel eyes.

"You were going to abort the baby?"

I was suddenly at a loss for words. I stood there like a fish, opening and closing my mouth, before Dr Long finally stood beside me and gripped my shoulder.

"Guys, he had reasons. Logan, he was going to do it for you." I wiped my nose on my sleeve and stared at Logan, waiting for his expression. My stomach gurgled and I whimpered.

"...why?" he whispered. He leaned over, as if he was suddenly tired and held onto the back of the chair.

"b-because you always s-said you w-w-wanted to be a doctor, so-so i fi-figured you should get that chance and t-that a baby will ruin it." I whispered. I was lying to myself on this. I wanted this baby, I didn't care for the risks. I wanted this baby with all my heart...but I knew that fate wasn't being nice to me. Logan smiled and walked over to hug me.

"Im sorry, I got into a fit about all of this, caused so much drama and acted like an asshole. Can you forgive me?" I nodded and hugged him back gently, before he pulled away and gave me a grim smile.

"You sure about this? you sure you want to get an abortion?"

"Yes." No.

"Good." Bad.  
>"Because...because, really to tell you the truth," he looks at me with sad eyes," I don't think I would've been able to agree...after hearing all those deaths and miscarriages and risks. I don't think I would've agreed. I don't think I'd be able to stand losing you,Kendall." I smile and hug him, even though inside, my heart feels like I'm cutting it into pieces.<p>

"besides, we can always adopt in the future! Or we could get a surrogate to do it. But if we want kids later, then we can always decide." I nod at him and smile. He turns around and shakes hands with the doctor, apologizing and thanking her. Then he holds my hand and guides me out the door, James and Carlos in tow behind us. He stops at the bathroom, and Carlos hands Nate and his baby carrier to James.

As we stand there, James turns to me.

"You were lying, weren't you?" I look at him with wide eyes and cross my arms.

"w-what are you talking about?"

"You lied to Logan. You want to keep the baby, you don't want the abortion."

"stay out of it, James. I know, I get it, you understand what Logan and I are going through...but it's not your decision whether or not I should k...k-kill my baby." james's eyes go sad and I turn away.

"Its...it's for the best, James." Logan and Carlos come back out of the bathroom, and I stand up and hurry out to the car. I think this is pretty much all I can take today, because as soon as we get home, I leave everyone and go upstairs while they all get smoothies. I climb into bed and try my hardest not to cry as I fall asleep.

**James POV**

I knew things had gone bad as soon as Kendall had gotten that phone call from Logan.

But I didn't know it would lead Logan to hit the doctor that gave Kendall the medicine. I've never seen him so mad, so pissed off. I don't really know what brought that on, but I hope he won't ever be like that again.

I was actually curious to hear what the doctor told Logan...but I was terrified, and astonished, by all the risks. And by all those other guys that had suffered. I didn't want Kendall to suffer like they did, but I can't say I was happy when he said he was aborting the baby.

My heart just cracked into pieces, because I don't think it's fair. I mean...yeah the risks are heavy, but that baby was innocent and had no reason to die. I remember when Carlos and I went through that. I didn't believe he was telling the truth and all I wanted was to throw him down the steps, get rid of whatever was inside of him. I ended up killing our baby, and even today I still feel depressed, guilty, basically like shit for what I did. I know Carlos was able to forgive me like the good-natured, whole-hearted person he is, but I can't ever forgive myself.

I don't want Kendall to have that hanging over him the rest of his life.

And the way Logan...seemed happy he was giving the baby up made me sick. Figuratively, I mean.

He would sacrifice his family, his own child for a job. I mean, it's hard, believe me, but still I'm happy I have two children with the man I love, and I still enjoy my work and family time... Even though one of the twins isn't mine, I still make it work.

I sigh and look down at Nate, who giggles and is sucking on one of his toes as he watches me. I tickle his belly and smile, glad I have what I earned. I'm glad to have my kids and husband in my life, and finally I feel like I don't need anything else. I just wish I could convince Kendall and Logan that.

Especially Kendall. I can see in his eyes how badly he wants this baby. He seems like he would die for the poor child.

I just hope he makes the right choice.

**A/N**

Annnddddd there. Yeah, a little crazy, I know. How did you guys like it? Review for me please.

Oh...abortion scene up next :( sorry.


	15. Chapter 15

A/N

Sorry I didn't realize how short this would be.

Logans POV

I stroked Kendalls hair lovingly, but he didn't really respond. I sighed and leaned over his shoulder to look at him.

"Kendall? You okay?"

He nodded but curled back up, gently moving further on his side. I stroked his soft hair a bit more and pressed my cheek to his.

"Im sorry. The way I acted...wasn't acceptable, in any situation. I was just worried at first. I thought you cheated on me when I saw those pictures, and then when I found out it was you...I overreacted. I'm sorry."

He looked at me with a small smile, but I could see in his eyes that he was hurting.

"Its okay." I leaned down and kissed his lips gently, then rubbed his bottom lip with my thumb.

"Why didn't you want to tell me about the baby? What was the real reason?" kendalls eyes squeezed shut gently.

"I...I was afraid. Afraid how you would react. I didn't know that would happen, but it did. I...I was going to get the abortion so we wouldn't have to struggle and be stressed out."

I smiled and kissed him again. But he didn't kiss me back. Instead he gently moved and rolled onto his side. I frowned and rubbed his shoulder.

"You okay?"

"Yeah...j-just nervous about the a-abortion."

I bit my lip and looked at him.

"You know...if you're nervous about it, you don't-" he interrupted me. Thank goodness. I don't like the idea of Kendall having to go through any of those horrible problems those other men went through.

"Im okay. Let's just not talk about it, okay?" he whispered. I pressed my body closer to his and he shivered.

"Im fine with it. I promise." I kissed his forehead and he sighed.

"lets just...relax, for now." I nodded and we laid down, holding on to each other.

Kendalls POV

I hated lying. I felt like lies were consuming me, because I wasnt okay with this. I really wasn't.

I've been dying for a baby for so long, but now my chance is being taken from me. I know I should've manned up and told Logan the truth about the baby, but I would ruin his dream and make him hate me. I just can't do that to him. The next few days were horrible, because everytime I tried thinking about the abortion, my stomach would curdle and I'd feel sick.

I sighed and glanced at myself once over in the mirror, rubbing my firm belly, running my fingers over my stretch marks once more. Logan appeared behind me and rested his head on my shoulder.

"Dont worry. It'll be okay, and then after this whole mess is over, we'll go get some ice cream or something, watch a movie, spend some time together." I nodded and turned to him, giving him a wide smile and kissing him. He held my hips and gripped them gently, turning the kiss into something rougher and hotter than it was a moment ago. I backed up against the dresser and wanted him to take me, here and now. But then he pulled off and sighed, rubbing my cheek.

"Come on, youll be late for the appointment." I sighed and he left, leaving me standing in the room by myself. I turned back around and looked at myself in the mirror. I traced over another stretch mark, before my bottom lip started trembling, and then a tear flew down my cheek.

I quickly rubbed it away and slipped on a large, wooly sweater, a blue and white stripe one. It was kinda warm outside, but my insides felt like ice, and with every step I took my feet felt like lead. Finally, I was in the living room and then I was in the hallway.

Everything seemed to be passing by quickly, because then we were in the lobby and Carlos and James were there. We were all going, because I basically begged and cried into James's shoulder to come along yesterday.

James looked at me with sad eyes, but I averted my gaze and bit my lip and stared at the floor.

"Well, let's get going." Logan seemed somber,too. But he grabbed my hand and led me to the car.

I hesitated before climbing in. At one point of that hesitation, I turned around to run away, and I walked right into James's chest. He looked down at me and the tears started flowing.

"You don't have to, if you don't want to."

I shook my head and rubbed the long ends of the sweater against my face, balling it up to rub my eyes.

"No...its probably the best choice." I whispered. James sighed.

"it's not his decision...it's yours, Kendall." I shook my head and finally got into the car.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

The ride was awkwardly silent, and whenever we turned on the radio, some weird song would come on. The first one was "Beggin" by Madcon.(1) I quickly turned it off, because the main verse of the song was driving me insane.

I curled up in the seat, pulled my knees up and rested against the seat. Logans hand drifted form the steering wheel and gripped my knee gently.

"It'll be okay." I sighed and looked up into the rear view mirror, spotting James staring at me. I felt my cheeks go hot and I looked away, wishing he didn't know.

XXXXXXXXXXX

When we pulled up in front of the clinic, I stared at the building with hatred, my fists clenching and I felt tears welling up. I...I can't...

No, I could do this. I have to do this.

I looked down at my body and bit my lip to stop it trembling. My body wasn't meant to carry children and the risks were to high for this. And Logan deserved better than having to be a parent at such an early age, having to ruin his dream just because I was being whiney. We could have a surrogate have our baby, someone who could have a baby safely, or we could adopt in the future. I'm sure that many people are ready to give up children, like teenagers or crack addicts.

I bite down on my lip harder and squeeze my eyes shut, opening the car door and gently swinging my legs over and out of the car, holding my stomach. I stumble, but I feel James grab me and hold me up.

"Thanks." I mumble. I hold onto the car door and stare at the concrete parking lot, before I sniff and glance up at Logan.

"H-hey."

"Hey, look, Kendall...we can go to a real hospital and get you help-"

"No! I...We all know the risks of having this baby." he gives me a sad smile.

"You going to be okay?"

"Yeah...but just stay here." I watch as Logans face turns into a frown and he looks sad.

"B-but are you sure?"

"Yes...I...I just don't want you there...it's already going to be sort of difficult. And besides I don't want you thinking about that every time you look at my butt." I shut the car door and turned around, sighing and leaning against James and Carlos.

"Lets just get this over with." I whispered. I felt James tense and I turned away. As soon as we were halfway across the parking lot, I leaned my head on James's shoulder, sagging a little so they had to carry me. I leaned on them and let my tears dribble off my cheeks. My body sagged and the closer we got to the building, the more I felt like throwing up.

We reached the doors and I looked up, swallowing the bile rising in my throat.

James opened the door and gently placed a hand on my shoulder, pushing me through.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

We got a lot of odd stares, so I just kept my head down, held my knees and focused on not puking my guts out.

I wanted to run away, stand up and run out the door. I couldnt do this. I cant. I just cant. I felt my legs start to shake and I started rising, standing up. I felt a hand grab mine and I looked down to see James holding my wrist.

"You can back out. You don't have to. He whispered, his silky voice calming me down. I took a breath and started to walk.

"Kendall Knight?" I stopped and looked at the doctor who had just walked through the door. She looked at me and I swallowed hard. I turned to James.

"Ill be back." he looked sad as I stepped through the doors, following the ginger doctor into the room. I stopped once we were in there and my eyes widened when I saw the tools on the table. She smiled sadly and handed me a hospital gown, then motioned to a corner of the room where I could change.

"please strip down, and then put the gown on. Make sure the front of the robe is the one where both sides are open, then lie down on the table. We'll give you and the fetus a check up and then begin the surgery."

I swallowed thickly, feeling my Adams Apple moving. She left the room and I slowly made my way to the dressing area. I stepped in and tugged the curtain over the pole, but it kept half the area open. There was a mirror in there, so I stood beside it to watch in case anyone was coming in as I yanked off my sweater. I stood and looked at the robe, then lifted my t-shirt up. I stopped, and held it in mid-air, tracing my fingers over my stretch marks, veins, moved skin.

I looked up, feeling tears brimming in my eyes, and then out of the corner of the mirror, I spotted the tools. I dropped the gown and yanked my tight shirt down over my belly. I slipped the sweater on and exited the dressing corner, walking over to the table. I placed a hand on my mouth and picked up a sharp tool.

T-this thing...will...scoop my baby out?

I felt the bile in my throat rise and I dropped it, turning and throwing open the door, shoving past the doctor who was about to enter. I ran down the hall, skidding to a stop and busting through the doors before I ran again. I darted past everyone in the lobby and ran for the opening doors.

"Kendall?"

"Kendall! Wait!"

I ignored my friends and began running out into the parking lot. I needed to go. To go run. I had to get as far away as possible from that horrific place.

I stopped and bent overly, clutching my knees in desperation, needing to breathe.

I felt hands on my back, coaxing me to calm down and just breathe.

And then I threw up.

I began bawling, collapsing on the ground, sitting there, rubbing my face like a child as I sobbed. I heard more footsteps and looked up to see Logan standing over me,looking concerned.

"Kendall? Oh, god what happened?"

"I-I couldn't do it. I couldn't kill my baby." he looked shocked.

"b-but it was your choice to do it."

"And now I'm saying I don't want to! Logan, I want this baby." I said a bit quietly. He still looked shocked.

"I-I was wrong. I want this baby. And I'm going to have this baby. No matter what."


	16. Chapter 16

Logans POV

"I can't believe you!"

"Please, Logan, just listen-" I turned quickly and narrowed my eyes at Kendall. He flinched and hung his head.

"No, you said you were fine with it! You said it's okay to give up the baby-"

"Well, this is my body! I decide what happens to it!" he screamed, finally slamming the door behind him as we entered 2J.

"Kendall, this risk is to much! You could die!"

"But I could be fine!" I shook my head.

"No-"

"Why won't you just agree with me?! This is a baby!" I watched kendalls eyes fill with tears.

"Our baby..." he whispered. I sighed.

"I won't agree because we're to young for kids."

"We're eighteen! Carlos was pregnant with the twins almost seven months before he turned sixteen!" Kendall argued.

"Dont bring that up!" I hissed, narrowing my eyes at him. I love Kendall, but still after almost three years I was still hurt by him yearning for Carlos for a small amount of time. Kendall hugged himself and sniffed.

"I already made it up to you,Logan! I love you! But, p-please, let me have this baby!" I watched tears dribble down his cheeks, and my heart cracked. I couldn't. This would ruin our life and our career. I don't think I can handle it if Kendall took that risk. If I lost him, I don't think I'd be able to live without him.

But, I couldn't stop him.

I sighed and walked to our bedroom, bending down to grab my duffel bag out from under our bed. I started folding my clothes and putting them in the bag as Kendall slowly opened the door.

"Logan? W-what are you doing?" I sighed and zipped my bag close.

"Im leaving. I'm sorry, Kendall, but...but I don't think I'd be able to stand it if you died."

"Logan, please, there's a chance I could be fine!"

"Yes, a very small chance! If the statistics were higher, I might be okay with it, but your body is not built for this. The baby will drain you, and you could basically die in the middle of the pregnancy." I watched him as he hung his head and let his tears fall.

"Logan, p-please...I want this...I need this." I was shocked.

"How long have...have you wanted a kid?" I watched him hug his stomach.

"a long time..." he mumbled. I shook my head and slipped my duffel bag over my shoulder.

"You can have an abortion before four months. Your only two and a half along. You have until then to decide and give me your answer. But, I'm telling you, I wont be there for you when its over. I'm not going to stand beside you because I don't think I can live with myself if you die. And if you lose the baby...trust me, you'll be worse than you are now. I can't deal with that, it'll hurt me worse than you think if you become depressed. You have a month and a half to give me your answer."

I stood and walked past him, listening to him mumble and sob as he followed me to the front door.

"b-but, Logan! where will you go!?"

"Home. Minnesota." I answered. Kendall grabbed my shoulder and buried his face in it.

"Please, we can talk about this! I-I'll go visit the doctor every week! I-I-"

"Kendall, you could still get sick, or fall down, your heart could give out like that one who miscarried. You could die during labor. Your body might just miscarry all together. I wont be able to stand it if I lose you both." I kissed his forehead and pulled my engagement ring off, and placed it in his palm. I opened the door and shut it behind me.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

I guess my thoughts weren't in the right place. What the hell was I doing?

I just left Kendall behind. But...I meant every word. I cant live without him. I'd rather forget about him than break my heart into pieces if he dies.

But what upsets me is that I can't change his mind. I cant get him to think over the bad parts of this pregnancy. I saw this...gleam in his eyes every time he said something about the baby, but when I was driving him to the abortion clinic, he looked like he was dying.

I sighed and sat down on a bench outside the Palmwoods lobby and put my head in my hands. I couldn't go back to Minnesota, but I just couldn't stay around Kendall and the baby. I'm not giving up on my decision to get rid of the baby.

I feel my heart clench and I let out a small sob, only to feel someones arm curl around my shoulder. I look up, hoping it to be kendall.

"Camille?"

She gave me a sad look.

"Come on, I'll buy you a smoothie, and we'll talk upstairs."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

I sat on Camilles couch, eyeing her a little suspiciously.

She sighed and sipped on her smoothie, before setting it down on her coffee table and tucking a leg underneath her.

"Look, I know it's been...awkward and roughed up between us, but...I'm here for you." she put her hand over mine, but I gently pulled my hand away and stared down at the floor, clenching my hand into a fist.

"I know." I said. Camille sighed and sipped her smoothie some more, eyeing mine where I had abandoned it on her table.

"So, somethings going on between Kendall and you. What is it?"

"Complications." I mumbled.

"Complications? Jesus, that bad that they drove you out of 2J?"

I hung my head. What the hell am I doing?

"Yeah...I...I told Kendall I was going back to Minnesota, but I don't think I can. Not until I know if we can settle this."

"You...could always stay here." she whispered. I sighed and stood, but she grabbed my wrist.

"Logan-"

"Camille, I can't. It wouldn't just affect me, but Kendall to if I stayed here. I don't wanna hurt him any more than I already have."

I watched her as she bit her lip.

"I wasn't trying anything, Logan. I'm sorry about the way I acted, I just miss you is all. Do i not even deserve you as a friend anymore?"

I looked into her brown eyes, but winced when I saw her hurt eyes replaced with bottle green ones. I turned away and sighed.

"No...we can still be friends. But if you try anything, I will leave and go back to minnesota for real." I watched her smile, and before I could react she jumped up and hugged me.

"You can sleep on the pull out bed."

I hope i don't regret this.

Kendalls POV

As soon as Logan walked out the door, I burst into tears and slid into a chair. How could he do this to me? I told him everything, how I wanted the baby, but he just ignored my wishes and left me.

I sobbed harder and placed my head on the table, sobbing so hard my body was shaking.

He was making me choose. How dare he do that. If I made him choose between me, and a career as a doctor, he would hate me to.

Logan, or my baby?

I needed help, because I knew if I just sat here, I would end up making a wrong decision, or decide to do something stupid. I stood, but then felt a huge cramp go through me. I cried out and fell to my knees, gripping my stomach as the small tremor passed. My tears dribbled off my cheeks and I stared down at my belly.

No, I wasn't going to miscarry, and have Logan tell me,"I told you so." He'd rub that in my face that he was correct and I wasn't. I gently stood, holding on to anything near me in case I almost fell again, and I began making my way to my bedroom. I got halfway there when the door opened behind me and my mom and Katie came in.

"Well, I just thought it'd be a good idea to raise money." I heard Katie grumble.

"Katie, selling artificial fruit snacks that a company made and passing them off as your own creations isn't-Kendall?" I grumbled to myself. Damn it. I had almost made it to my bedroom. My stomach ached and I felt sick as my mom walked over. I felt cold sweat dribbling down my back and I hoped she wouldn't see how bad off I really was. I turned around and smiled at my mom.

"H-hey, mom." I tried straightening up, but I grimaced in pain.

"Kendall, are you okay? You look horrible."

"Y-yeah! I...I just um, Carlos and I did some dumb stunt at the pool, earlier. I fell down and, and he landed on top of me, yep. I'm just sore so I'm going to-"

"I was at the pool all day and I never saw you or Carlos there." Katie crossed her arms and stared at me. My mom did the same and now I was standing there, my lower torso begging me to lie down, my back covered in sweat by now.

"I...I...I'm just gonna go lie down.." I whispered. But as soon as I turned, my mom stopped me.

"Kendall Francis Knight, what is going on?" I heard a small snigger from Katie as I turned to the side and stared at my mom.

"Kendall, you been gaining some weight?" I grimaced and hung my head. I heard them both fall silent, because in the past I used to be bad about my weight. In middle school, I was pretty upset and eventually got depressed when I couldn't get rid of some belly weight. Katie never knew, but my mom did.

"Kendall, are you okay?" I heard my mom whisper. She out a hand on my shoulder, but I shrugged her off. She let out a small breath and turned to Katie.

"Here," she pulled out five dollars,"Go...buy some fruit smackers or something. Go play with Carlos and the kids."

"But, I think I deserve to know what's going on, mom." I watched as my little sister crossed her arms. My mom narrowed her eyes and Katie scuttled out the door. As soon as she was gone, I grimaced and held my stomach.

"Kendall,do you need to sit down?" my mom gently led me to the couch and I rested against the arm rest.

"Mom, please get me some water." i was covered in sweat by now and I ached. But I felt my body relaxing, though, as I rested into the couch. My mom brought me a glass of water, and I took it eagerly, drinking it. My mom sighed and sat down next to me. She placed her hand on my knee and rubbed.

"We've already been through so much drama, and trouble. You realize you can tell me anything, right?" I nodded and my mom sighed.

"Kendall, we've already been through this. Please, I'm sure it cant be that bad." I squeezed my eyes shut, letting out my tears. I began sobbing and my mom gasped, pulling me into her arms.

"oh sweetheart, what is it? Please, Kendall you're scaring me."

I opened my fist, showing her the gold engagement ring. My mom gasped and picked it up.

"But, Logan-"

"He went back to Minnesota! He-he..." I nibbled my lip and lowered my head. My mom ruffled my hair, and then placed her hand on my arm.

"Is...is there a problem with your...your weight?" she whispered. I nodded.

"Um...sort of..." my mom sighed.

"Do you want me to...to call that dietician back in Minnesota? He helped us-"

"It wouldn't help." I whispered. I turned away from my mom.

"Kendall?"

"Mom...it might be worse than you think."

"Please, Kendall, you're scaring me." she repeated.

I slowly stood, groaning and rubbing my stomach. My body started aching, hurting, and my back throbbed.

"Mom, please...don't freak out." I lifted my shirt and my moms eyes went wide. She gasped and covered her mouth.

"Thats not-"

"Yeah...it is." I whispered. She stood and I watched her hands shake before she slid her hands over my belly.

"But-how?!"

"Ummm...its a long story." I whispered. My mom looked at me.

"Is this why Logan left?"

"Yes...he says...he doesn't want to take the risk of losing me and the baby, because of my dumb choices." I whispered. My mom frowned and shook her head.

"Thats...idiotic."

"I know." I nodded. She hugged me close, but every time I moved it hurt even more. My mom, smoothed her hand over my forehead.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah...it just hurts."

"How long have you- that's why you were trying to go to your room! Oh, gosh, honey, lie down. I'm going to call the doctor."

I lied down and watched my mom as she picked up the phone and brought it over to us, setting it down on the coffee table.

"Whats the number?"

"My phone.." I gasped as small pain went through me. My mom bit her lip. I handed my phone to my mom and watched as she went through the contacts.

"Hopefully this isn't anything bad."

My mom put the phone on speaker and I sighed, listening closely as Dr Long answered.

"Kendall? How are you?"

"Hi, I'm kendalls mother...I just got the news about the baby, and we could use some help."

"Baby? Kendall, I thought you were getting an abortion." I winced and looked away from my mom. She was against abortion.

"I...I chickened out. I want to keep the baby...but...but Logan left me."

"He left you? Because you're keeping the baby?"

"Says he doesn't want to lose me or the baby and rather forget me than be with me. He told me I had...I had a month and a half to decide." I burst into tears and my mom sat there, running her fingers thru my hair.

"Okay, first, Kendall calm down."

"I-I cant h-help it...ev-everything hurts! Ph-physically and em-emotionally!"

"Physically?! Kendall you need to calm down! You're stressing yourself and the baby out, and stress is one of the main reasons for miscarriages!" I immediately stopped. I whimpered and my doctor sighed.

"Okay, good. Now, lie down somewhere comfortable and don't get back up. Your body needs to rest and you need to calm down. Now, have you felt anything, like cramps?"

"Y-yes..."

"okay, strike that, don't get up for about a week. Your on bed rest, doctors orders. Mrs Knight, sorry but your going to have to help your son."

"Thats fine."

"Now, Kendall, be straight with me, right now. I'm sorry you're going to have to make this decision now, but are you keeping the baby?"

I bit my lip and looked up at my mom. She sighed and kissed my forehead.

"Its your choice, sweetie." I sniffles and buried my face in my moms shoulder.

"Yes...I want my baby." the doctor made a "hm" sound.

"Okay, well I want you to take all those medicines for your cancer treatment again."

"But I'm supposed to quit them next month?" I questioned.

"Yes, but the medicines made the uterus, and have the estrogen and items your body needs to keep the uterus and gestational sac strong. Without it, your body wont be able to support the uterus nor the fetus and you'll miscarry."

"Wont the meds make me sick?"

Dr Long was quiet for a moment.

"Yes...theres a chance your body will grow sick, but the fetus will grow stronger."

"Theres a chance he could die from the meds?!" my mom gasped. I sighed.

"Theres a chance your son could die altogether, ma'am. We've had this case a few times, and almost anything could happen. He could die during labor, miscarry anytime during the pregnancy, or the baby could affect something in his system. The baby could also kill your son." I squeezed my eyes shut when I heard the doctor say this in such a somber voice.

"I...I don't..."

"Please, mom, please..." I gripped her hands and gave her a look,"I need this." my mom gave a shaky exhale and clasped her hands together.

"Fine...fine...we'll keep the baby."

"okay. No stressing out, Kendall, stay in bed for a week. Take those medicines everyday, and I'll try and find you some better ones instead. I'll call you next week, okay?"

The line cut and I sat there in silence, pondering my decision.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

My mom called Gustavo and told him neither Logan nor I could come in for a little while.

"Youre going to have to tell him and Kelly the truth, sweetheart." my mom said. She was rubbing my stomach through the comforter. I sniffled and curled into my bed. All I wanted to do was disappear under the covers and never come out again.

"Yeah...but I-I'll tell them myself. They probably wont react as good as you did."

"Well...I did have to deal with Carlos and James, you know." I smiled and squeezed her hand.

"If you can make it through that, I'm sure you can help me with this." we smiled at each other and I took in my moms appearance. She looked sort of stressed, and...well, older. I could see a few gray hairs appearing, along with a few wrinkles. But I never thought my mom to be old. She was still young as a mom.

"I hope so."

"When are we going to tell Katie?"

"Not yet. I'm not sure shes going to understand it just yet, no matter how smart she is." my mom stood and kissed my forehead before leaving me to rest. I laid in that bed for what felt like forever, just brooding on my thoughts.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

I sighed and dialed my phone again, wondering if Logan would ever pick up. It's been almost three weeks since he left, and I've barely heard from him. I got a text once or twice but thats it.

My heart ached badly. I wish he was still here, holding me and telling me we could get through this. But he wasn't. I really needed to talk to him though, to tell him my decision about the baby. I let out a small cry when his phone went to voicemail. I listened for the beep but the moment I let my bottom lip go,it trembled and I gave out a small sob as I turned my phone off. I threw it to the side of me on the couch and then pulled my knees up, with some difficulty.

I began sobbing into my knees hard. I heard my moms door open and she came running out to me.

"Kendall! Kendall, what's wrong?"

"Mom, he won't answer my calls! What do I do?" I sobbed harder but my mom took my face in her hands and sighed.

"I don't know. Maybe you could try skyping with him? He cant ignore you forever."

"Ive tried Skype. Ive tried calling him, too. But I don't want to tell him my decision through an email. He deserves to know face to face." I gave a huffy exhale and leaned into the couch. My stomach rumbled and my mom chuckled

"Do you want anything, sweetheart?"

I gave a small sigh and looked up at my mom with innocent eyes.

"Pickles and chocolate ice cream?" she laughed and nodded, going into the kitchen to retrieve my treats. I was munching on them when Katie came home. She saw my snacks and shook her head.

"I don't understand how the baby enjoys that."

"I don't understand it,either, but it's so yummy." I said through a mouthful of it. Katie grimaced before turning and leaving.

Oh, yeah, this will be fun.

A/N

Meh, I didn't really think about this chap towards the end...I'm running out of ideas here, people! Like, seriously! Could use some help!

Well, anyways hope you liked. Review, eh?

FAQ 


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N**

**Okay, so as most of you know I was sort of finishing my Cargan story so I had to abandon this for a while, same as my other stories, but now that its over I will try and finish this story. Then my other stories. And etc. So Im glad you guys have been patient with me, but here it is! You're welcome!**

**Kendalls POV**

I sighed and leaned my head on my arm as I rested it on the couch. I rubbed my large belly, feeling how engorged it was. I was entering my third month now. I wasn't as noticeable as I thought, but I haven't had this much weight on my body for a while. It was uncomfortable and a little foreign.

I was still having a bit of nausea and more cravings. I feel bad for my mom, who has to go out and buy foods that suit them. She also walks behind me on the stairs, since I've been a little clumsy. I've been exhausted,too. I take a lot of naps, but most of it doesn't help.

I sigh again and feel my eyelids grow heavy, but I sniffle and rub them. I've been crying since my mom left, because she already has since me break down to many times. Logan still hasn't called me, even though I've left him tons of voice mails. It hurts that he doesn't want to talk this over at least. I sigh and open my phone, checking again.

Nothing. I put my phone back in my lap and feel more tears fall off my eyelashes and down my cheeks.

A small vibration makes me grab my phone and I gasp when I see Logan emailed me.

I open it immediately.

Kendall,

I don't want to talk about this with you. I already told you my decision. I don't want the baby, it's not natural for you, or anybody for that matter. And you can't argue and use Carlos as an excuse for my reasoning, because his body is used to it. I don't want a baby right now anyway, and I still think you're insane for keeping it.

Tears fall off my cheeks faster and I hurry and type back my response.

Logan,

Please, lets talk about this. We can find a way to raise our baby. Please, I love you, I miss you.

I quickly sent it to him but he never responded. I sobbed and curled up on the couch, rubbing my belly more as the door opened. I heard a smacking sound and felt a sticky hand touch my face as Carlos and James sat across from me. Carlos rubbed my back and James sighed.

"Has he still not replied to you?" Carlos whispers. I sniffle and hand him my phone. He let's James read it at the same time and then he gasps.

"What the h-" Carlos stops and looks at Nathaniel, who is now climbing on the couch next to me.

"-Heck, is his problem?" he coughs and glares at my phone. I shrug and James sighs, leaning over to run a hand through my hair.

"Is there anything you want, Kenny?" I look up at them for the first time and Carlos gasps. I frown and look at him.

"What?" he quickly shakes his head.

"N-nothing!" but I let out a puff of air and put my head back in between my arms.

"James, can you put a blanket on me?" I whisper. James stands slowly and leaves, to return a moment later with a thick, green blanket and place it on me. I tug it tightly around me, and bury my face into it. I hear Carlos sigh and then he places something on the table next to me.

"Here, I made some rainbow-colored and taste cake, with rainbow sprinkles inside, and I spread vanilla frosting on top. I know it helped me feel better when I was having Nate."

"Oh, so now you're calling me fat?!" I screamed, glaring at him.

Did I also mention I was moody?

Carlos jumped back and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Sorry, jeez."

I sighed.

"Sorry, it was my fault." I whispered, before I laid my head back down. I felt james and Carlos mumble to each other before Carlos pushed something under my arm.

"Its a pregnancy book. You might want it." he said quietly, before he picked up Nathaniel and left. I almost begged for them to stay, but once the door closed behind them, I was all alone again. I stood after a few minutes of lying there, and slowly walked to the bathroom. I turned on the light and gave a little gasp, understanding now why Carlos was a little freaked.

I was pale, sort of pasty, and my eyes were blood shot red. I rubbed my eyed and left the bathroom in a hurry, lowering myself back to the couch. I curled up on it, and let out a sniffle.

I laid there for a few more minutes before I grabbed the pregnancy book and opened it.

**James's POV**

After leaving the apartment, Carlos and I walked down to the pool, dropping Nate off at the daycare, which many of us convinced Bitters to set up. I said hi to Veronica and Drake real quick before Carlos and I headed over to the pool, sitting down at a table by the pool.

I grabbed us some pink smoothies and gave one to Carlos, who sipped one immediately.

"Aww, finally some peace. Thank god we got Bitters to get that daycare."

"We could use some peace." I chuckled. I chewed on my straw and sipped it, swallowing the yummy treat.

"So, what do you think we do about Kendall and Logan?" Carlos said quietly, leaning back in his chair. I sighed and took his hand in mine.

"Lets not talk about it now, okay? Let's just relax and take a load off our...feet.." I slowed down a bit and stared across the pool, over Carlos's shoulder. Were my eyes tricking me?

Logan?

Someone moved and I grit my teeth a bit in anger when I saw it WAS Logan...with Camille.

I turned back to Carlos and smiled, rubbing his hand.

"Hey, want me to go grab you some Fruit Smackers?" I smiled, noticing Logan and Camille leaving out of the corner of my eyes. Carlos smiled and rested his head on his hand in a sort of girly style. But still adorable.

"Yeah!"

"Okay, I'll be right back."

I hurried and stood up, rushing after Logan, but making myself look less conspicuous. As soon as I was in the lobby I hurried towards him.

"You son of a bitch!" I yelled at him. Several people turned their heads towards me, but Logan looked at me with a shocked expression.

"James-"

"No, you stupid, arrogant, son of a bitch!" I emphasized every word and Logan stepped back in shock a little. I followed him, every step I took, he stepped back. Camille grabbed my arm and tried yanking me away.

"James, shut up! He didn't do anything wrong!" I glared at her and swatted her arm away, grabbed Logan firmly by the arm and pulling him down a hallway, checking it was empty before I threw him into the wall. He rubbed his head and I crossed my arms, glaring at him.

"Explain yourself." I hissed. Logan glared at me.

"Expplain? I didn't do anything wrong!" I took a step towards him and Logan jumped back.

"Kendall is sitting up in that apartment, bawling his eyes out because you won't talk to him-"

"Theres nothing to talk about!"

"You wont answer him-"

"I don't know what to say to him!"

"And you wont tell him the truth! I bet Camille doesn't even know the truth!" I hissed. Logan lowered his head and I curled my hands into fists, then let them go.

"I don't what the baby. Okay? Happy? I don't what this baby. I never wanted kids."

"And you didn't even think about how Kendall feels?" I scoffed. Logan looked away and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"I was wrong about you. You're nothing but scum." I turned and walked away, as Logan mumbled,

"Says the man who killed his first kid and beat up his husband." I turned around and my anger exploded as I grabbed Logan, slamming him into the wall a few times and then I curled my fingers around his throat. He coughed and stared up at me with anger.

"You wouldn't dare!" he hissed.

"Oh, really? And youre saying this to the man who killed his first child." I said in a mocking voice, before I let go of Logan and stepped back. I pointed at him and hissed.

"I paid my dues. What's your excuse?"

Logan glared at me and rubbed his throat.

"If you don't go up there and talk to Kendall...i'll make your life a living hell, you got me?"

He stood still before nodding. I glared at him and then tapped my watch.

"You better do it soon."

I walked away, clenching and unclenching my fists as I left Logan there.I turned the corner and saw Carlos standing there, holding his drink in shaking hands. I sighed.

"You saw?"

"Yes." he whispered. I leaned close and gently held him, letting him feel my now cool, and calm demeanor settle back into place.

"I promise I won't hurt him...that badly." Carlos slowly wrapped his arms around me.

"What do we do? We can't keep lying to Kendall."

"We won't. Because Logan will tell him, whether he wants to or not." I said, leading Carlos away from the hallway.

"But when?" Carlos asked me. I looked down at him and sighed.

"Soon."

**Logans POV**

After that brief encounter with James, I felt more scared then I've ever been before. I've seen him angry, but never like that.

I knew what I was doing wrong, but I had gotten so tangled up into this mess of lies and trouble I didn't know how I was going to get out of it.

I sighed and left the lobby after that, not knowing what to do just yet as I went in search of Camille. We've become good friends again, talked it out and discussed some things, so now we're on good terms again, but I see the way she looks at me. She gives me this sort of desperate look, wanting me to understand something, but I'm so confused about the way I feel.

I still love Kendall, I really do, with all my heart, but I just can't go back to him. I just can't. Everytime I look at him I would feel disappointed, and upset. He chose to go one way in life and I chose another way, and I don't think we can meet in the middle with it.

I sigh and rub my pant legs with the palms of my hands and looked at Camille, who was leaning against my shoulder watching TV.

"Hey, Camille?"

"Mmhmm?" I sighed.

"Look I've got to go out and do something, okay? I'll be back in a little while." I stood, but Camille grabbed my wrist. I looked down at her.

"Where are you going?"

"Im going to head over to James and Carlos's...I'll be back later." she tugged on my wrist harder and gave me her puppy dog eyes.

"Please don't go."

I sighed once more.

"I have to, Carlos needs me to look after his kids for a little while." Another lie.

"Okay, fine. But first," she stood and held my wrists in a sort of loving manner as she pecked me on the lips. I felt my cheeks heat up and I adjusted my hoodie.

"I-I'll be right back." I said as I fumbled for the door knob and hurried out.

XXXXXXX

Okay, Camille kissed me, kissed me! Woah-wait-SHE KISSED ME!

I leaned against the wall and sighed. What. Am. I. Doing.

This wasn't right! I mean...I still loved Kendall! But when she kissed me, I felt a little spark. Maybe Camille and I are actually supposed to be together. I mean, I dated her before Kendall. Sure it had been a little on and off, but still! I wasn't entirely gay, I didn't look at anyone really besides Kendall, and I used to glance at James or Carlos once in the while but it wouldn't be right now. I saw a few guys every now and then but I never could see myself with another guy...

Okay, Kendall was an exception. I mean...god I'm so confused. Maybe Kendall was just a phase?

Oh, God, maybe he was just a phase,he was just one of those curious phases that went a little to far maybe? Maybe I could convince that was the reason I didnt want the baby. I really don't want this baby, I don't want to be a dad yet. And I really don't want to be like MY dad. He was strict and pretty hard on me about things, he wasn't sure if he should have even let me come to L.A.

He would surely disown me if he learned about Kendall and I. And our baby.

I sighed and continued to the elevators, riding down them until I got to the second floor, where I stepped off and walked silently to 2J. I raised a shaking hand to the door and waited. I don't know if I should do this. I would hurt Kendall so bad, worse than I already had.

We've been friends forever and I had ruined it. I shook off and knocked on the door. I had waited a week to work up the courage to do this, and I had to get it over with. I knocked on the door and it opened up slowly to meet Kendalls pale form. I could see through the thin shirt he wore that his baby bump was a little bigger, but not by much. He looked shocked to see me.

"L-Logan?" then he jumped on me and I stumbled back. He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me tightly.

"Oh, I knew you would come back!" he cried. I stood there awkwardly, my hands stuck out around his sides. I resisted the urge to hug him tightly back, and my arms trembled slightly.

"Kendall..." I said quietly. He sniffled and stepped back, rubbing his eyes.

"Oh, god, Logan I'm so sorry! Please don't go back to Minnesota! Stay here with me!" the words broke my heart and I did wrap my arms around him, finally. I gave a small jump when I felt the baby bump and I gave a small tremble. I really needed to get this off my chest.

"Kendall, sit down we need to talk." he backed up gently and I sighed, grabbing his hand and leading him to the couch, where I sat down and tugged on his hand. He sat down on my lap and tucked his head into the crook of my neck, sighing gently.

"Oh, Logan, I missed you so much. Its been so lonely here! I don't like it!" I sighed and gently pushed his head off my shoulder.

"Kendall-"

"How is everyone up there in Minnesota? I really miss them." I swallowed hard and gently pushed Kendall off my lap, taking his hands in mine.

"Look, Kendall we need to talk about this. It's been crazy the past few weeks. I-"

The door opened and we both turned to see James walk in. He was wringing his hands and looking at the ground.

"Kendall, hey look we have to talk-" he stopped when he saw me, then he sneered and crossed his arms.

"Finally decided to man up and tell him the truth?" his face went hard and serious and I winced when I heard Kendall whimper a little.

"The truth? Logan, what does he mean?" I turned back to Kendall and stopped. I was lost in his wide green eyes that looked confused and hurt. His bottom lip trembled harder and I felt my heart crack. He stood up quickly and clenched his fists.

"Logan, what is he talking about?" I opened my mouth and then closed it again. I held my hands up in almost a surrender motion and looked at Kendall.

"Okay, baby, let me explain- you know I love you, right?"

"Stop fucking stalling, Logan, and tell Kendall where you really were!" I glared at James as he crossed his arms and stared at me with hard eyes.

"Really were? Logan, I thought you were in Minnesota!" I watched kendalls eyes as they filled with tears. I opened my mouth to say something but James stopped me.

"Minnesota? Hell, he's been living with Camille this entire time!" James screeched. I gasped and stood quickly as Kendall quickly covered his mouth.

"C-Camille? CAMILLE? YOU WERE WITH CAMILLE?!" I cried out as Kendall began swinging his hands towards me, hitting me in a couple of places before he fell back to the couch and burst into tears.

"No, god, Kendall it wasn't like that! I couldn't just go back to Minnesota! A-and I didn't want to just knave you, but I couldn't come back! Kendall, please this is hard to explain-"

"FUCKIN' EXPLAIN! I GOT TIME!" he yelled, tears falling off his chin at a rapid pace.

"Nothing happened, Kendall! I don't feel like that towards her!"

"You're lying!" he sobbed. I reached for him, but everytime I attempted to get close he would beat me away, bruising my hands.

"Okay, I am lying, I still feel something for her, but I love you! Compared to you, shes nothing but a friend! I'm sorry I lied!"

"Why couldn't you just stay with me and the baby? Why? What did our baby ever do to you?" Kendall sobbed harder and I watched as James came over and helped him to his feet, pulling him into a deep hug. He glared at me.

"I fucking warned you, Logan, and you didn't listen did you?"

I felt the anger I had been shoving down overpower my mind and I gripped my hands into fists.

"Its not my goddamn fault he got pregnant!"

"Oh, really?! I'm sure that's YOUR fucking sperm in his stomach!"

"Im not the one who gave him pills!" James let go of Kendall and took a step towards me, but I didn't feel intimidated.

"You basically started all this damn shit by leaving him!"

"I already fuckin' told you I don't want the baby!" I stopped and I slowly turned towards Kendall. His bright green eyes went dark as they clouded over with anger, tears trickling down his pale cheeks.

"Get out." he whispered. I reached toward him.

"Please, Kendall, let me explain-"

"GET. OUT." he cried. I felt my heart crack even more as I began backing away gently.

"But-"

"I SAID GET OUT! I DONT CARE ANYMORE! You ruined it all for yourself, Logan! I'm going to have this damn baby and I don't need you anymore! So, just get. Out!" I let out a little sob.

"I love you Kendall!"

"Obviously not! You haven't done anything to prove it to me!" he sobbed harder and I could feel my heart literally breaking into pieces. I watched Kendall wile his face, leaving a wet mess as he turned away from me and crossed his arms.

"Why won't you just go and be with Camille instead, because I promise you right now, you will never see your baby. I'm done with you. Now just get out." he said so coldly. I looked from him to James, back to him before I sniffed and turned and left then, not knowing what to do anymore.

**Kendalls POV**

As soon as Logan left, I buried my head in my hands and bawled.

"Oh, Kendall I'm sorry. I know I should have told you, but I felt like Logan should have been the one telling you the truth." I turned and pressed my face into James's chest.

"Its okay, you did the right thing." I sniffled as James wrapped his strong arms around me.

"Im so sorry, Kendall. I wish he would stop being so stupid and see how amazing you and that baby is." my heart swelled gently and I looked up at James through blurry eyes. James raised a hand and wiped my tears away.

"Y-you're a good friend, James." I whispered. James smiled that amazing thousand watt smile, that usually never fazed me...until now. I felt my knees go a little weak and I wrapped my arms tighter around James, feeling my heart beat rapidly in my chest.

Then I raised myself on my tip toes and pressed my lips to James's soft ones.

It was pleasurable and warm, and deep and...and so many feelings that filled me up that I haven't felt in so long.

Until James slapped me hard across the cheek. I gasped and let out a cry as I felt my split lip.

"What the hell?!" he screamed. His eyes were dark with anger and he stepped further back. I let out a little cry and sat down on the couch.

"Im-I'm sorry, Jamie!" but the door slammed behind him as he marched out. I sat there in shock for a moment, the realization of everything I just did dawning on me. I had thrown Logan out, kissed James and lost two of my best friends. I slowly brought my knees up and curled into a ball, burying my head in my knees as my mom walked through the door.

She instantly noticed me and tossed her purse on the table as she ran towards me.

"Kendall? Kendall, oh my god, baby are you okay?" she went to pull me into a hug, but I didn't want that. I gently shoved her away and ran full speed towards my room, slamming and locking the door behind me as I crawled into my bed and wept.

XXXXXXXXX

I don't know how long I slept, but when I opened my eyes it was extremely early, wait to early for anyone to be up. But after that, I couldn't sleep much longer, I felt to exhausted and over slept, so I stood and decided to go take a bath. I stopped when I remembered something I read in the pregnancy book Carlos gave me saying that baths could stimulate early pregnancies.

Thank god for Carlos.

I took a quick shower and made myself feel clean once more, but it was still to early.

I laid down on my bed and curled up into a small ball, feeling helpless. I feel out of control, like I don't know what to do. It confuses me so much!

It fret like an eternity before I sat up again, and the time seemed acceptable. I slowly left my room and continued out of the apartment, making sure I didn't wake my mom or Katie up before I walked down to the lobby. I practically prayed that Logan wouldn't be down here, and he wasn't, so luck must be in my favor today.

My stomach rumbled halfway through the lobby and I stopped, suddenly really craving Fruit Smackers. I remembered that I hadn't eaten breakfast, but gummy snacks probably can't be healthy. My stomach rumbled again and I sighed, rubbing it gently. I frowned when I noticed it felt a bit more round, bigger than it should have been. Odd.

"You made your point." I mumbled as I dug in my pocket for some change, looking around to make sure no one was watching me talk to my belly. I still wasn't really noticeable unless you looked closely and noticed I put on a bit of weight.

I decided to grab two packets of Fruit Smackers as I walked around the lobby of the PalmWoods, not really knowing what to do, but at the same time I didn't want to go back upstairs.

I passed the gym and stopped, noticing one person in there lifting weights. James.

I remembered the kiss and I stood there, watching him for a moment. For some reason, he wasn't as attractive as he seemed yesterday. He had his back to me, so he didn't see me really, but I noticed he looked a little pale. I opened the door silently and walked in, standing behind him for a moment, wringing my hands.

"J-Jamie?"

He jumped and turned around quickly, noticing me. I saw he had bags under his eyes and I felt a handful of guilt crumple around my heart. He sighed and gently lowered the weights to the ground.

"What do you want, Kendall?" he said a little quietly. More guilt.

"Im-I'm sorry about yesterday, I don't know what I was thinking! Ever since this whole thing started, it's been you by me and not Logan, which should be the opposite! I mean its his baby and all-"

"Kendall." James said. I jumped and rubbed the back of my neck.

"Sorry...I didn't mean to ramble. Look, what I'm trying to say is that kiss meant nothing, nothing at all to me. I was just upset, and you were there." I watched James nod.

"Yeah, I know. That's sort of what I figured. Look, let's just forget about it and go back to normal, okay?" I nodded and he pulled me into a hug.

"Look, things will get better okay? Carlos and I will be there for you and the baby. I promise. I know it's not the life you wanted, I'm sorry, but we'll try and make it as close to it as possible." I smiled against his chest and took a step back, wiping my eyes.

"Its okay. I don't need Logan for this. I can do this by myself, I'm ready to have my baby. If he doesn't want to be a part of their life, that's his fault then." I smiled at James and he smiled bad, patting me on the back.

"Their you go, Kendall. Thats the spirit. And remember Carlos and I will be by you the entire way."

**A/N**

**Shitty ending, meh sorry but my neck has been feeling like someone smacked it with a sledgehammer so its killing me, and I just realized I've been listening to No.5 by Hollywood Undead on repeat for about three hours.**

**Or in other words, I'm fucking tired. I needed to update soon so here it is. Sorry for the wait.**

**Oh and I need your guy's opinions! Baby boy or baby girl?! You guys get to help me choose! And i need a decision in a rush, because i need to start planning the next chapter!**

**Or if you guys prefer, maybe more than just one? (twins, triplets, ect.)**

***Insert winky face here!***

**well anyways, Please,please, PLEAAASSEEE leave me a review on this. It might make me feel a bit better (considering the shitty month I've been having.) well thanks guys and stay tuned for the next chap!**

**FAQ**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N**

**So, I got your guy's reviews, and I have decided what to do! Thanks so much for the ideas, and I'm going to try and update more often. And if you don't know still, my laptop is still broken. :/ yeah I know it sucks, but I'm getting it fixed next week, yay!**

**anyways...lol story time.**

**Logans POV  
><strong>  
>After Kendall threw me out, I don't exactly know what I did.<p>

I sort of walked around in a daze and found myself down by the pool, then I walked past the pool and into the park, where I collapsed by a tree. I sat there and sobbed, burying my head in my knees for a while. I sobbed, bawling hard, shaking in the process. I hated this. I hated it so much.

I really fucked up, didn't I? Kendall wasn't supposed to know I didn't want the baby, but I was going to try and convince him over the next few months to give the baby up for adoption. And now he knew, and hated me.

After all we've been through, I can't believe it's come down to this. We're not friends anymore, we're not even acquatinces. We're just hovering around enemies. Same for James. He hates me so much right now.

It hurts so bad that I know I have no one to rely on. I can't even fall back on Carlos as an option for help, because he'll turn his back on me, also.

I sniffle and rub my temples, letting out shaky breaths as I tried to calm myself.I couldn't walk back to the Palm Woods with puffy eyes and tear stains, because I know how bad the paparazzi has been lately. I don't need any sort of rumors and dumb things popping up.

I wipe my face a bit more and stand slowly, rubbing my forearms as I begin walking back to the Palm Woods, hugging myself. I feel so alone right now, its like I'm walking in a dream. I sigh and decided to head back up to Camille's.

As soon as I walked in, she noticed something was off. She sat up quickly and frowned.

"Hey, you okay? What happened?"

I shook my head and sat down, sighing and leaning into the couch, slouching.

"Ive made some mistakes, Camille. I don't know what to do, or how to fix them." I whispered, looking down at my hands. I felt her hand rub my shoulder and I looked up into her eyes that were filled with sympathy and thought.

"Well, you know, they say sleep is a way to help with thoughts. Maybe you should rest on the subject." she stood and turned her TV off, leaning down to press a kiss to my cheek before she turned and left the living room.

I sighed and kicked my shoes off, before curling up on the couch. I placed my head under my arms and sighed, lying there. I trembled for a moment, before I felt warm hands rub my shoulders and Camille tossed a warm, plush blanket over me.

As soon as she left, I sniffled and curled into the blanket a bit more, letting my tears slide out of my eyes and hit the couch cushions before I squeezed them shut and drifted off to sleep.

XXXXXXXXXX

It was pretty early the next day when I woke up, but I felt like I couldn't lift my own body.

I hurt so bad. My chest and heart ached like someone had put them to work for to long. I sighed and after a while, I finally sat up and stretched, popping my back after a long night on the sofa. I didn't hear Camille up, so I figured she was still sleeping, so I decided to grab a quick shower.

After I dressed and dried myself, I walked into the kitchen to eat breakfast, but ended staring into the fridge for about ten minutes before I decided I wasn't hungry. I shut the door and stood there in the kitchen, staring at the floor and feeling how numb my body was. I felt empty.

I decided to lie back down on the sofa, but that didn't work, either. The apartment felt small, and I felt like I was suffocating.

"I just need some air..." I whispered to myself as I left the apartment, shutting the door quietly behind me. I walked all the walk down the stairs in a somber fashion, sort of just stomping down. I felt like I was in a daze, but found myself wandering the lobby, awing down hallways and thinking. I really needed an answer on what to do, because I haven't come up with any brilliant ideas as of late.

I found myself heading towards the gym, which I knew the hallway ended in a dead end and closet, so I decided to turn around and head to the park, but as I was passing by the gym, I saw two figures standing inside and I quickly hid behind the corner.

I peeked back and saw it was Kendall and James, and Kendall seemed to be rambling on about something.

I stepped closer, suddenly needing to know why they were both down here at such an early hour, and why they were alone.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to ramble. Look, what I'm trying to say is that the kiss meant nothing, nothing at all, I was upset..." but after I heard the word kiss, I sort of backed away in anger.

They kissed? They kissed?! What the hell! And James says IM an arrogant bastard, while he's fucking married and still playing around Carlos! But still, KENDALL AND JAMES FUCKING KISSED.

Kendall must be fine already, if he's already kissing people! I snorted to myself, wondering why I was even bothering anymore. He seemed perfectly fine on his own.

I huffed to myself and hurried back upstairs, clenching and unclenching my hands in anger.

And to think, I was almost so ready to get down on my knees and beg for Kendall to come back to me.

I opened the door to Camilles apartment and slammed in shut in anger, running a hand through my hair as I huffed to myself. Camille came running out of the kitchen a second later, a concerned look dotting her pretty face.

"Hey, what happened? Where did you go?"

I suddenly had a thought and sort of smirked to myself. Fine, Kendall, two can play at that game! I walked forward and let my hands fall on Camilles shoulders as I tipped her head upwards and gently kissed her. When we pulled apart, I gave her a genuine smile and twiddled the ends of her hair between my fingers.

"What was that for?" I shrugged and hugged her close.

"it's just you've been so kind to me, Camille, and you've been the only person I've been able to rely on. I've settled my differences with Kendall. Is it okay...if we try again? Just a bit slow this time?"

I watched her nod and I hugged her again, but the image of hurt, bottle-green eyes continued to fill my mind.

**  
>Kendalls POV<br>**  
>I shoved the handful of chips in my mouth and chomped, relishing in the awesome taste of the Cheetos as I flipped through the pregnancy book Carlos gave me.<p>

I sighed and stared down at my belly again, frowning. It's...well...bigger. A LOT bigger. Carlos says I'm probably freaking out and overreacting to how big my belly is really going to get.

I sighed and set the book down, finally just tilting my head back as I dumped the junk food into my mouth. I'm not a big fan of junk food most of the time, but this baby has been craving the oddest stuff lately. I crumple the empty bag up and toss it in the corner as I lick my fingers and pick up my book again, flipping to the next page.

I'm around the beginning of my fourth month and the book says the baby should be around 3 inches big.

I frown and re-read the page, before I look down at my stomach. I snort and shake my head.

"My stomach is to big for this baby to be only 3 inches." I say to myself, but then I continue reading. I burp and suddenly feel nauseated, wondering why I agreed to eat junk food.

I stand and turn to go to the bathroom, but then I stop and give a small gasp. Lately, it's been a little hard to breathe and I've been getting dizzy a lot. I was extremely worried about this, but I visited the doctor last week and she told me it was common for the carrier to have symptoms like that around this time.

Well, I hope it is.

After I get to the bathroom, I splash some cold water on my face and look into the mirror, giving a small sigh.

The further I get into the pregnancy, the more terrified I become. I don't want to lose my baby, nor do I want to die. Or become sick. I've been trying my hardest to stay healthy, I take the cancer-treatment pills that have the estrogen in them, along with some minerals and vitamins Dr Long prescribed. I don't drink coffee, I don't take bathes, I walk around when I feel like I have enough energy to make sure I at least stay in shape a bit. I eat the right foods, and the weird cravings are stating to fade, thank god.

I sigh and scratch my belly, shuddering when I feel the engorged uterus. I love my baby, but I know this will be hard and soon enough I won't be able to move very much. That will be the one part of this pregnancy I will hate.

I leave my bedroom, stretching as I walk into the kitchen. I suddenly want whipped cream. I open the fridge and grab the can, opening my mouth to squirt the cream into my cheeks, puffing them up as I eat it.

"You realize we all eat that,right?" I turn and stick my tongue out at Katie.

"I have an excuse, I got a baby in my belly. You try ignoring what they want when you're pregnant." I say as I leave the kitchen, flopping down onto the couch.

"Yeah, I'm sure I'll have more self control than you." I rolled my eyes at her and sit up slowly.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Hey, Katie?" she swiveled around on her chair.

"Yeah, big bro? Whats up?"

I smile and give her the most innocent face I could.

"Will you rub my feet?" her nose wrinkles up.

"Heck,no! Do it yourself!" I huff and cross my arms.

"But whhhhyyy? Their hurt!"

"Thats your fault!"

I feel tears well up in my eyes and I narrow my eyes at her as my mom walks in.

"Are you calling me fat?!"

"Well, you do look a little chunky." katie giggled. I knew she was joking, but my hormones were so out of whack, I began crying.

"I am NOT fat! I'm not!" I sniffled and rubbed my eyes as I looked at my mom. She sighed and looked at Katie.

"Leave him alone. He doesn't need jokes right now." I frown and lower my head. It's been a bit awkward since I pushed my mom away that day, and thats why I usually stayed in my room.

My mom looks at me and then sighs, whispering to Katie and basically shoving her out of the apartment. My mom shuts the door and walks over to me, sitting down beside me. She wraps an arm around my shoulders.

"Look, I know its hard but your halfway done. Try to hang in there." I nod and lay my head on her shoulder.

"Mom? I'm sorry about running away that day. I was just super upset." she hushes me and kisses my temple.

"Its okay, I understand. Sometimes I need to back off, give you your space, right?" I see a small twinkle in her eye and I realize shes sad. I hug her with both arms and bury my head into her shoulder.

"No, mom, not right now. You need to know as much as possible, I shouldn't be shutting you out. I'm sorry." my mom hugs me back and runs a hand through my hair.

"Gustavo comes back from vacation next week." I wince and look at her.

"Why couldn't Griffin send him away longer?" my mom shrugs.

"Well, theres no point in trying to keep it hidden, so I suggest you tell him as soon as possible, okay?" I nod and my mom holds my hand in a strong, motherly grip.

"Do you want me to go with you?" I look at her, about to say no but then I lower my head.

"Yes...I would feel more comfortable if you were there with me." my mom smiles and kisses my forehead again.

"Thats the sprirt. Okay, wanna help me bake this cake?" she stands up and smiles.

"Nah, I really shouldn't-"

"You can lick the spoon." she taunts. I'm on my feet in an instant, clapping my hands.

"Im your assistant!"

XXXXXXXXXXXX

The next day, I had my second trimester ultrasound scheduled at five in the afternoon. I was pretty excited to see how my baby was growing, but at the same time, I couldn't help but feel sad.

I was actually looking forward to going to this appointment with Logan, but I guess he's out of the picture completely.

Thinking about him made me angry, really angry. I clenched my fists and sat, seething. I really didn't know what made me think about him, but I had to will myself to become calmer. I started breathing slowly, and then gave a little sigh. I had to keep my mind and body calm or else I could become to stressed out and I might hurt the baby.

I felt my phone vibrate and I picked it up to see James had texted me. Carlos and him were bringing the whole family, including Dak, to my ultrasound. I was just waiting for them to text me.

I stood and crossed the living room to the kitchen, taking my medicine before I put the pills away. I sighed and swallowed them dry, sort of used to them by now. I wasn't enjoying the pills, because they starting making me feel nauseous.

I left a note for my mom before I grabbed my keys and wallet and left, closing the door behind me and heading into the elevator. I felt the elevator lurch and my stomach curdled badly. A lot of movement always made me feel sick, but I was to afraid to take the stairs, in case I fall.

The elevator doors dinged open and I hurried as fast as my huge body let me. My stomach was, well, huge. Ginormous. I didn't feel like I was carrying a baby half the time, I felt like I was holding a wrecking ball in my belly. I rubbed my stomach and pulled my hoodie around it tighter, looking at everyone. I really hoped no one noticed how big my stomach was getting.

I smiled and walked over to Carlos, James, and Dak.

"Hey guys."

"Hey you ready to go?" Carlos smiles at me as Nathaniel toddled over to me and yanked on my hand.

"yeah, I hope you don't mind if we brought the kids." Carlos rubs the back of his neck as we watch the twins jump around in excitement.

"No, no it's fine, really!" I smiled, but then I turned my head a little, catching a glimpse of something I didn't want to see over James's shoulder. Logan and Camille were sitting by the fire pit...kissing and holding hands.

I felt my stomach tighten in jealousy and I clenched my fists, gritting my teeth. I started to shake and the other guys looked at me worriedly.

"Kendall, you okay?"

"Fine." I hissed through gritted teeth, but then I marched around them and over to Logan in anger. Him and Camille stopped kissing when they heard my stomps. Logan looked up and raised an eyebrow as I stood there with crossed arms pressed to my chest.

"Logan, may I speak with you for a moment?"

He gave me a "Are you fucking serious?" look and I clenched my fists.

"Why? We settled everything."

"Just get your ass up." I hissed. Logan rolled his eyes and looked at Camille before he stood slowly and followed me as I walked away from everyone, around the sides of the PalmWoods. As soon as we were back there, I turned on him.

"What is she now? Your little fucking play toy?!"

"Youre just upset that I'm not fucking you." he hissed. I turned around slowly and tried to ignore the tears popping up.

"Hell no, I'm not! Its not my fault you're just being a bastard!"

"Youre the one who wont make the right decision!" he screamed, I turned on him and had to control myself from slapping him.

"Why should I give up my baby?! Why?! Just because their father doesn't want them, doesn't mean I don't!"

"You know what I'm not talking about this again-"

"Why?! Why can't you just love our baby like I do!?" I screamed, letting my tears fall. Logan let out a sigh.

"Because that baby is nothing but a freaking tumor to your body! You should see how bad you look! This baby is draining you and will kill you eventually."

"No it won't! And if it does, it didn't mean to!"

"I don't care. I still don't want it." I crossed my arms protectively over my chest.

"Does nothing that we did matter to you? How many years we were together? We were almost married!"

"Yes, but remember it WAS, not IS anymore, Kendall. Obviously, we're not meant to be." he turned to leave and I hissed at him in anger.

"Camille probably doesn't even know, does she? Well, what's the point in telling her, when shes just a rebound!" Logan froze and turned around to give me the scariest look I've ever seen.

"Shes better than that." he hissed. I sniffled and let my angry tears fall.

"You're a liar! You told me you didn't even have feelings for her!" he shrugged and continued trying to leave. I started following him in anger, stomping loudly.

"You don't realize how hard this is for me! How hard it will be to raise my baby!"

"For the last time, I don't want this goddamn baby! And if it's so fucking hard, just give the damn thing up for adoption! This conversation is over!" he screamed and left me standing there, snot and tears dribbling. Ive never felt so hurt, ever. The last few days have been nothing but shitty and hurting my heart, breaking it badly. I clutched my chest from actual physical pain and I let out a sob, turning my back and pressing my head into my hands to sob.

I felt hands begin rubbing my back and I turned to bury my face in James's neck.

"I-it hurts s-s-so m-m-much, Jamie. I d-don't think m-my heart c-can take i-it." I sobbed. He pulled me into a hug and rubbed my back as we began walking.

"Shhh...I know, I know it hurts. But, I promise, he's not worth it. I promise." he whispered while we were walking back. I sniffled and rubbed my eyes.

"Really?"

"Yes, really. Not calm down and don't stress yourself out, okay? Let's just get to the appointment." he whispered as we passed everyone by the pool. James shielded my tear stained face from everyone, and covered my eyes a little as we passed by Logan.

"Hey, Kendall! Gain a little weight there, chubby?!" I let out a sob as Camilles high, annoying voice yelled towards me and then let out loud snickers. I covered my stomach as James hurried us through the lobby, grabbing Carlos, Dak, and the kids as we hurried and left, cramming all seven of us in one car.

XXXXXXXXXX

On the way over to the appointment, I couldn't stop thinking about what Logan says.

But I mean...a baby can't be THAT hard, right?...

I couldn't imagine giving my baby up for adoption...but now that the thought was in my head it wouldn't leave. It will be hard raising my baby without Logan, and at such a young age, too. I gave a small sigh and looked down at my baby bump.

I don't think...I don't think I'm ready after all.

I mean, I don't even know the first thing about babies. I don't even know how to feed them correctly. I thought my mom could teach me, but my mom isn't always going to be around to help me.

And, this baby deserved the best.

I let out another sigh and Carlos tapped me on the shoulder. I slowly turned and looked at me.

"Hey what's up?"

I shook my head gently.

"Ill tell you guys later." later, when I decided. When we pulled into the hospital parking lot, we all piled out of the car. It took me a second to stand up and climb out, but I almost collapsed as a weight jumped on top of me.

"Oof! Veronica!" I heard the little girl giggle as she tried to hang on to me. I groaned in pain as my stomach began grumbling badly. My back ached and I let out a little cry.

"Carry me!" she giggled, but I let out another cry and Carlos rushed over to my side of the car, gasping and instantly lifting her off my back. I slowly straightened as he set her down and scolded her.

"You don't jump on peoples backs, especially Uncle Kendalls, okay?" I watched with a bit of amusement as she pouted.

"Okay." I saw her pout get worse, so I grasped her hand and watched her smile up at me as we began walking towards the hospital, swinging our linked hands. My stomach ached a little, and my back just plain out hurt from Veronica jumping on me. I was thankful when we got in the clinic and I was able to sit down. I relaxed into the chair and rubbed the back of my neck, watching Drake and Veronica run around. Nate sat still on the floor by Carlos's and James's feet, babbling as he examined the magazines.

Dak sat next to me and sighed, slouching in his chair a little. He smiled at me.

"How excited for this baby are you?"

I wish I didn't have to lie. I've been thinking this over deeply, and I'm sure the choice of adoption is the better out of all of my choices. I stayed silent for a moment.

"I...don't know,honestly. I was excited at first, but now...I'm starting to think it over." Dak frowned and slowly sat up to meet my eye level.

"Youre regretting this baby?" I sighed and put my hands between my knees. I felt him rubbing my shoulder and I turned to look at him, feeling guilt weighing badly on my heart.

"Yes. I mean, I love them...but because of my baby I lost Logan and I'm getting sick." I said quietly. I coughed, not to prove my point, but because my chest was hurting a little. Dak squeezed my shoulder and I looked at him.

"Dont regret your baby. It's obvious that you were meant to have this baby, or else you wouldn't be pregnant. And don't worry about Logan, if you two were meant to be together, he would be the one standing next to you, watching your baby grow. But he isn't, instead he's back at the PalmWoods with that...cunt." he hissed the last word and crossed his arms. I turned to him with a small frown.

"You hate Camille, too?" dak nodded and slouched more.

"What did she do to you?"

"She befriended me and then went behind my back and dated the guys she knew I liked." he hissed. I gasped and put my hand over my mouth.

"What a bitch!" I hissed, making sure the kids didn't hear me. They were busy bothering the nurses.

"Yeah, and she slept with most of them! The one I liked the most was named Danny, and she took his fucking virginity! I wanted to be his first, and his only, but she convinced him he wasn't gay." he looked down and I realized he was sad. I awkwardly wrapped my arms around him, my huge belly getting in my way. Dak sighed and leaned into me.

"Its fine, Kendall. I'm used to disappointment by now." he whispers. I feel my heart break a little and as I go to say something, a nurse comes forward and calls my name. I stand, align with everyone else and then I blush when I realize everyone is literally staring at me. I tug my hoodie further over me as Dr Long walks in and takes my file from the nurse with a smile.

"This is a...special patient." she smiled. The nurse raised an eyebrow, but then walked away. Dr Long smiled at me and walked forward.

"I see you brought the whole family." she whispered. I nodded and she beamed.

"Okay, we're going to go up to the personal offices and more technology advanced rooms, because the ultrasound up there has better imaging. And I also want to run a few tests, because in truth,you're looking a bit peckish." I nod and she links her arm with mine.

"Alright, everyone follow me." I smile at everyone and they gather the kids up as we start towards the elevators. I swallow hard, remembering how the elevator earlier lurched. I grip my doctors hand a little harder and she looks down at me.

"You okay?"

"Bad experience with elevators." I mumbled. She held me a bit tighter and smiled.

"Dont worry." she said as the doors slid open and we left, walking down a few hallways. I felt a little uncomfortable, but quickly got over it when I saw the room with the familiar machine. E machine was larger than the one in the clinic though.(1)

I immeidatley climbed onto the exam table and lifted my shirt up as Dr Long shut the door. I smiled at Carlos and James as she placed the gel on my baby.

"Are you excited?" Carlos smiled. I faltered for a moment and then gave them a large smile. Dak frowned a little, but went along with it.

"Yes, very." Veronica and Drake held hands and came over to my side. Veronica swishes her braids back and forth as she rocked her head from side to side.

"Is uncle Kendall sick?" Drake looks at Carlos and Dak.

"No, Uncle Kendall isn't sick." Dak came over and lifted Drake up and placed him on his hip. Veronica stared at the machine in fear as Dr Long set it up.

"Is that machine gonna hurt you, Ken-doll?" the four year old said quietly. I smiled at her and let go of my shirt with one hand to grab her hand.

"No, i'm gonna be just fine. This machine won't hurt me at all." I reassured the little girl. She beamed at me and held my hand tighter.

"Well, don't be scared, I'm here for you." I smiled at her as Dr Long placed the remote on my stomach.

"Aw, thank you so much!" Veronica blushes and I chuckled as the babies heartbeat filled the room. I turned my head quickly to see the screen and then I smiled once I saw the form of my baby.

"So any problems with your pregnancy, mister Knight?" my doctor stared at the screen and jotted a few things down.

"Not...not really, I mean my cravings were extreme at first but now the only thing is my weight. I'm bigger than I should normally be." I bit my lip, shut my eyes, and listened to the sound of my babies heartbeat, but then I frowned. I opened my eyes and stared at the screen, looking at my doctor, too. Dr Long was also frowning.

"Bigger?...How much is your weight off by?" she looks at me and I frown, shrugging a little.

"I don't know, I'd say...ten, twelve pounds? I thought it was from the food." she moved the remote like object on my stomach and the heartbeat suddenly became unregular, beating differently. My doctor gasped and stepped back.

"That...that can't be right." she dropped the remote and looked at me, then everyone else, before leaving the room in a hurry. I frowned and looked at the screen, only seeing emptiness from where the remote lay by my side.

Dr Long returned with her colleague, Dr Richard and he grabbed the remote and placed it back on my stomach. Irregular heartbeats once more and I gasped a little when I saw my baby was bigger than average.

"Is something wrong?" I looked at them, but they weren't paying attention to me.

"This can't be right!" Dr Long cried.

"Well, it is."

"No, during the second month, I found no evidence of this. It can't be possible!" she cried, looking at the other doctor. I knew his status was lower than hers but, she seemed panicky right now. He looked at her with wide eyes.

"Well it is."

"Will someone please just freaking tell me what is happening to my baby?!" I screamed, feeling my anger rise. They stopped and looked at me. Dr Long had grown pale and her eyes were wide as she grasped my free hand and looked at every face in the room before looking back at me.

"Kendall, its not the baby that's messed up. It's not even one baby." my jaw dropped.

"Its..."

"Its triplets."

**A/N**

**My rational mind-AHHHH! TRIPLETS?! WHAT THE FREAKING A MAN?!**

**my irrational mind- MWAHAHAHAHAHA!**

**So yeah, now you know! The next chapter MIGHT contain the genders! So keep reading!**

**And ya know hit that button below?...Marked REVIEW...**

**TBC.**

**FAQ**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N**

**Yep! You guys now know he's having triplets! Well...um, yeah. Continue onto the story!**

**Kendalls POV**

I sat there and stared at my doctors in confusion and shock.

"Triplets?! How d-how does-how is that possible?!"

Dr Long sat down and rubbed her chin in thought.

"What my theory is, is that when we were listening to the first babies heartbeat, the other two's heartbeats hadn't developed yet. It explains why we couldn't hear them."

"But why couldn't we see them?" Dr Richard rubbed the back of his neck and let out a puff of air.

"The imaging on the ultrasound downstairs isn't grade A like the one up here. Maybe the other fetuses were hidden or so close together that we couldn't tell?" Dr Long said with a sigh. I watched with a worried feeling in my stomach.

"I-I cant have triplets!" I screamed. I looked around the room in worry, looking from face to face. Carlos came close and grabbed my hand.

"You can do this Kendall!"

"N-no! One baby is already hard enough, I can't have triplets!" I cried. Dak stepped forward as I began bawling and he grasped my hand tighter than Carlos or Veronica had.

"Kendall, look at me."

I slowly opened my puffy eyes and looked at him, suddenly noticing how pretty his chestnut brown eyes were.

"You can do this, I promise. You're stronger than you think. And besides, we'll all be there for you!" I smiled and squeezed Daks hand.

"I-I guess so." dak smiled at me as the doctors finished up my appointment and Dr Long checked my vitals quickly.

"Okay, look these babies seem healthy, but I don't know. I'm not making any more mistakes. If you feel anything, anything at all, you are coming straight to the hospital." she turned and left the room, but came back a moment ago with a box. She opened the white box and put something over my head and around my neck.

"This is one of those life alert necklaces. You are to wear it or keep it close at all times. I'm not screwing anything up." she said, with such deep seriousness, I was frightened.

"O-okay."

"Ultrasound, and check up. Every week." she said. I nodded and stood, pulling my shirt down. Dak placed his hand on my back as I slowly lowered myself off the table and onto the ground.

"Okay, we'll be back next week." I forced myself to smile as we all left the hospital, and once again, got into the car and squeezed inside.

XXXXXXXX

Carlos, James and the kids all headed to a restaurant for some dinner, leaving Dak and I at the PalmWoods after the appointment. I tugged my jacket over me even more around me as I opened the door. But Dak immediately shut it and I looked at him in confusion.

"I don't what people to say something mean to you again. What happened earlier was just plain crappy, you shouldn't have to submit yourself to that. Come on, let's go around the back,okay?" I looked at him and gave a shaky exhale.

"Okay." Dak smiled and we started around the back of the PalmWoods and we entered through the back door. We couldn't ride the elevator up this way, so Dak walked behind me as we walked up the stairs.

"You know, you didn't have to do this."

"Of course I do. It's idiotic to let a good friend walk up the stairs and through a lobby of hurtful people alone." Dak said as I walked into the apartment and sat down on the couch, suddenly feeling exhausted.

"You okay?" I sighed and rubbed my forehead.

"Yeah, just tired." Dak frowned and walked over to sit next to me.

"Sit up. I'll rub your back."

I looked at him weirdly and sat up like he told me to as he pressed his palms to my back. I groaned and then let out a moan as the uncomfortable massage turns into a pleasure.

"Woahh...th-that feels good-ah..." I moaned as Dak rubbed harder and deeper.

"Yeah, I use to practice helping Carlos when he was pregnant with Nate. James tried learning, but he's way to strong. He kept hurting Carlos."

"Y-you're doing great-ah!" I moaned louder as he moved to my lower back. Dak laughed and looked at me from the side as I looked at him.

"How do you feel?" he said lowly. I felt my heart beat faster as I stared at Daks pretty eyes. Their weren't like Logans, which were chocolately brown, but a light chestnut color that made my pulse faster.

"Good." I whispered. I stared at his pink lips as he nibbled on the bottom one. He suddenly stopped and stood, stepping back and blushing immensely

"I should go." he whispered. I stood as quick as my body would let me and grabbed his hand.

"No, please! Stay. It gets lonely." Dak blushed darker and looked at me with sad eyes that made my heart hurt.

"Look, Kendall, I know where this will go. Something will happen and either we regret it, or we feel great. Then we make promises, say a few words and it turns into something great for a little while. But what would happen after the babies are born?"

I nibbled my lip and turned away, letting instant, warm tears fall.

"But-"

"Look, I know how it ends, Kendall. One of us gets hurt, and I'm sure its not going to be you." Dak said quietly.

"Please, Dak...I was thinking about adoption anyway. Please...if these babies are going to kill me, anyway, I want a last few months of happiness with someone. And Logan isn't here for me!"

"Thats the thing!" he turned and yelled at me. I jumped back and let out a small cry.

"Thats the thing, Kendall! You still love him! You're probably mistaking my gratitude for feelings! Even if you truly do like me, you will ALWAYS choose Logan over me! If he decides to leave Camille, and beg for you back, you'll leave me behind and choose him!"

I watched his tears fall as rapidly as mine were. But then I started letting out small sobs and then I was full on bawling, rubbing my eyes with my fists. I felt Dak pull me into a warm hug and he shushed me. He ran his fingers through my hair as I bawled into his shoulder, the only place I could reach. He was really freaking tall.

"Im sorry, Kendall. I...I just can't do this, okay? I cant get hurt again. I'm already hurt after Carlos went back with James. I mean, I still love Drake and Veronica and all, but it still hurts."

That just made me cry harder.

"Kendall, please, stop. You're stressing the babies out." I sniffled and looked up at him.

"I-I-I c-can't s-stop. I-I d-don't w-wanna h-h-hurt you,D-Dak!" I sobbed harder. Dak continued shushing me and pulled me back into his chest. I gripped his hoodie and bawled, rubbing my face into the comforting warmth and scent.

"Kendall, stop crying. Listen to me, you're getting stressed."

I couldn't stop. Dak finally made me lie down on my side on the couch and he went and got me a glass of water.

He handed it to me, along with some water and made me drink some and wipe my eyes. I laid there, sniffling for a while before I was able to calm down and sit back up. I wiped my snotty nose on my sleeve, regretting it a moment later, and I looked up at Dak with puffy eyes.

"I-I'm sorry I did anything, Dak. I shouldn't have even bothered. I guess I was mistaking gratitude for feelings." I let out a shaky exhale and stood, going to show Dak to the door.

Dak sighed as I slowly grabbed the door knob.

"Well, its wrong for me to say anything after what I just said, well yelled basically, but I think I do have some feelings for you." I looked at him in shock.

"But-"

"But, I'm only saying it to help you. I don't think I'm ready for anything yet,Kendall. Not after all those disappointing relationships and stupid crushes." he brought my hand to his lips and kissed it and I shivered as I opened the door.

"Dak, wait, you'll still think about it, right?!" I cried as he took a step out the door. Dak turned and looked at me with a small smile on his face. He stepped back in and wrapped an arm around me, pulling me close.

"Yes, of course, my love." he whispered. I felt my cheeks heat up as he pecked my lips. He didn't let go, but instead dove back down and kissed me longer. I felt my body heat up a bit more and I wrapped my arms around him, even though it was hard because of my babies.

When Dak pulled back, I let out a whimper as Dak wiped our lips and disconnected the spit string we made.

"D-Dak?" I whimpered.

"I know what I said, and I'm sticking to it, Kendall. But...we can try. Slowly." I nodded, feeling dizzy as Dak kissed me one more time and then left. I stood there like an idiot, giggling and feeling my cheeks heat up as I finally noticed Logan standing outside the apartment. I glared at him and turned to slam the door in his face when he darted forward and slipped in past me.

"Get out!" I screamed. Logan sighed and crossed his arms.

"And you call me a damn man whore." he hissed. I glared harder at him.

"Okay, we kissed, so what!?"

"Dak AND James?! Oh, don't make me laugh, Kendall!"

"How do you know I kissed James?!" I screamed at him.

"Youre not denying it!" he pointed at me accusingly. I stomped my feet angrily.

"It meant nothing! I even apologized to him! It was ME who kissed James, NOT him! He slapped me and left! And besides, why do you care?!"

"I-I don't! I'm just accusing you of the same thing you accused me for!" he looked away and I frowned at him.

"Why are you even here? Why aren't you with Camille?" I crossed my arms and turned away, not wanting to recall what happened earlier.

"because Camille left for some auditions and I wanted to talk to you about the baby. Are you going to give it up?"

I opened my mouth to change the facts about the babies, but right now, Logan isn't in their life. He doesn't need to know.

"Yes. I'm...I'm going to start looking for families that will adopt them."

Logan raised an eyebrow.

"Seriously?"

"Seriously, what?" I frowned at him. Logan rolled his eyes.

"Seriously, after all you put up just to have your baby? Just to give birth and hand them over to some other people? What if you don't even make it through the surgery, or delivery, whichever you choose? What if you never get to see them again?"

"Then I'll have the pleasure of knowing I brought something great into this world!"

"We brought something great." he corrected me. I shook my head and watched him frown.

"Not we, not us. Me. Just me. You didn't help with any of this. Carlos, James, and Dak ere the ones helping me, not you."

He looked at me with a look in his eyes that I couldn't place.

"Besides, why do you care? You didn't want kids in the first place, why should you even be involved with anything dealing with them?" logan opened and then shut his mouth, before shrugging.

"I don't know. I still don't want the baby." he crossed his arms and hugged himself tightly.

"Then why did you even come up here?" I hissed. Logan stuffed his hands in his pockets and sighed, lowering his head before snapping it back up to look at me.

"Kendall...I really am sorry. I miss you."

"You still lied! You know I can't trust you!" Logan tossed his head back and groaned.

"God! How many times do i have to apologize!?"

"Its not going to help!" I marched past him but he grabbed my shoulder.

"Please, Kendall! I miss you! Can't we at least try talking again?!" I swatted his hand away.

"No, because you have Camille, now!" I said in a taunting voice. Logan gritted his teeth.

"You shouldn't talk badly about her."

"She talked badly about me." I hissed at him. Logan frowned.

"You realize once she has her way with you, she'll throw you out, right?" Logan shook his head and held his hands up.

"Woah, wait-are you calling Camille a slut?!" I nodded and Logan looked ready to kill.

"She is not a slut!"

"Oh wait did she tell you shes a virgin?" Logan nodded this time and I snorted.

"Oh my god! Shes also a liar!" Logan brought his hand back and I flinched.

"You better shut up! You don't know what you're talking about!"

"Yes I do! Shes screwed most of Daks boyfriends or crushes! Shes nothing but a slut!" Logan actually did slap me and I cried in pain as the door opened and my mom walked in just as I said that.

"Shut, UP! you know what? Maybe she IS better than you in bed!" and with that, he turned and stormed out of the apartment, leaving me to wallow in self pity as my mom came and slowly sat beside me, hugging me close and rocking back and forth with me.

"Dont you dare believe anything he said. He isn't worth it anymore, Kendall." I sniffed and looked at my mom with sadness.

"Mom...its not one baby. It's triplets...and...and I'm going to give them up for adoption." my moms jaw dropped.

"T-triplets? And all of them?!" my mom gasped. I nodded.

"They...they all deserve a better life. One with mothers and fathers, not a messed up teenager that had these babies by accident, and in a very unnatural way." my moms eyes glistened with tears.

"But...you wanted a baby so bad..."

"I would rather them have good lives. I'd be happier if I knew they were growing up in a good family." my mom nodded and kissed my forehead.

"Okay. It's up to you, sweetheart. Come on, we'll start looking."

XXXXXXXXX

It took all of us, Carlos, James, Dak and my mom, a few weeks to search through the profiles and websites for some adoption parents. I know usually people just see some good people and decide the family they want, but I'm very specific about this.

I don't know exactly how some families will react to my being pregnant anyway. And besides, some of the families I saw wanted specific genders.

"How about this couple?" Carlos said, turning to me, bouncing Nate at the same time. I leaned forward from my position on the couch and stared at Carlos's computer screen. I saw a nice family, but then I looked down and saw something on their profile I didn't like. They had to have everything the adoption site asks them for, including if they have or do drugs.

"Nope. Father had a heroin addiction three years ago." I leaned back and Carlos's face fell. I knew everyone was sick of this, but I need to make sure my kids are safe.

"Here I found- wait nope, they both were alcoholics at one time." james groaned form his spot at the kitchen table. I sighed and looked down at my belly. I was larger than last month, and I hated it. My feet were starting to swell a little more and I was always hormonal.

I felt warmth next to me and I turned to see Dak sitting next to me. He smiled and looked at me out of the corner of his eyes.

"How you holding up?" he whispered. I nodded and set my laptop aside to rub my belly.

"Im okay. These kids are killing me though." I sighed. Daks eyes went wide and I looked at him.

"N-not literally!" I cried. Everything settled down and I sighed, awkwardly standing up. Dak rubbed my hand as I walked to the bathroom. I relieved myself, feeling the babies weigh down on my bladder, and I splashed my face with water, before gazing into the mirror. I was starting to become paler, weaker. I usually felt dizzy if I moved to much, and sometimes I threw up. My morning sickness was supposed to go away, but I guess not.

My cheekbones had sunken in a little, same as my eyes.

I looked sick. Like I was really dying.

I became a little worried and looked into the sink, watching the water dribble down.

I stayed still for a moment, before I walked back into the living room.

"Kendall! Kendall, we found a family you might like!" James cried excitedly, not because he found a family, but because we all could stop looking if I liked them. I walked over and looked down onto the laptop screen, giving a little sigh as I started to read the profile.

Their names were Michael and Diana Hartig. Michael was a dentist, one of the best in the city, and he was 38. Diana was a cosmetics business woman, and she was 37. I read further, seeing that they had never had any drug or alcohol problems. They both had college degrees, and high school diplomas.

Diana and Michael had been trying for kids for years. But Diana turned out to be infertile, and Michaels sperm been diagnosed to be infertile also. Even if Michael hadn't had that problem, they still weren't able to have kids. I read further and saw that it was the only thing they had missing from their lives, according to them.

James clicked their picture and I gasped. A tall brunette male, wearing glasses stood next to a shorter woman with dark blonde hair. They both were nicely dressed, clean and they had a nice house behind them in the picture.

"Well...what do you think?" James asked me quietly. I looked down at him.

"They're perfect." I whispered. James nodded as Carlos and Dak crowded around us.

"Uh oh, says they would prefer a little girl. Hope one of them babies your carrying is a little girl, Kendall." I sighed and rubbed my belly again.

"Well, it's almost time for my next ultrasound."

"Youre getting them every week, right?" dak asked. I nodded and patted my belly.

"Yep. Next one is in two days. Let's hope one of these pups is a girl."

"What about the boys?" Carlos asked me. I sighed and looked at them.

"Ill find families for them, too. But you guys relax for now, okay? You've helped me enough."

"No, we're gonna help you until its over, Kendall." Dak smiled and I blushed, feeling my face heat up more than usual. Dak and I had gone on a few dates, sometimes even just hanging out in the apartment, but it was perfectly fine with me. Spending time with him made me happy, and kept me from thinking bad things. He was absolutely sweet to me. We hadn't exactly told anybody we were seeing each other, besides my mom, but we were still going slow.

"Thanks guys." I smiled, mainly at Dak as I rubbed my belly again.

XXXXXXXXXX

I nervously knocked in Gustavos door to his office. I haven't seen either of them in months, because my mom had told them I broke a leg or something. I don't know, I just hadn't seen them in a while.

Kelly opened the door and smiled at me, then frowned.

"Isnt your leg supposed to be broken?" she asked me. Then her eyes traveled lower and widened when she saw my large baby bump under my sweatshirt.

"Oh Jesus, Kendall. Gustavo is going to kill you." she whispered. I nodded and walked past her.

"Think I don't know that?" Gustavo was busy writing in some papers as I stepped in, but he glanced up at me and looked back down.

"Dog! Finally you're back! Wheres dog number two?!" I grimaced at his yelling.

"Look, Gustavo, I really need to talk to you."

Gustavo sighed and yank his sunglasses off, to look up at me. He gave a scream of frustration when he saw my belly.

"DOG! I will kill you unless you tell me you've just put on some weight and that is NOT what I think it is!" I lowered my head and bit my lip. They've been through with Carlos already, so I'm not surprised.

"Yes...it is."

"Who's the dad?! At least tell me you know who the dad is?!" he screamed. I stepped back and sighed.

"Its logan. But before you scream anymore, let me explain a few things. Look, I know it's hard to understand,but somehow my cancer treatment meds made me eligible to be fertile. Its dangerous, though, so I might become sick because of it. Logan doesn't want the babies, and I'm going to choose families that will adopt them." I sighed, hanging my head. I hated my decision, but I had to do it.

"Good! Wait, sick?! Not baby, but babies?! Logan doesn't want them?! WHAT?!" Gustavo screamed, making me cover my ears.

"Yeah, I'm having triplets. And logan didn't want the babies. He walked out on me." I felt Kelly rub my back and I flashed her a small smile.

"Look, I know it's quickly said, but I decided you guys needed to know." Kelly sighed and looked at Gustavo.

"How far along are you?"

"Five months, to late for abortion." I whispered. Kelly nodded and continued rubbing my back.

"Alright. We'll cover it with Griffin, and make sure the press stays away. Dont go anywhere alone, though. And we'll cover the hospital expenses." I hugged Kelly and looked at Gustavo.

"Sorry I was in such a rush, guys. But thank you for understanding." I said quietly before I left and closed the door behind me. I listened to Gustavo as his anger finally exploded and I chuckled to myself, looking down at my stomach.

"You kids cause to much trouble." I whispered.

**Logans POV**

*A month earlier.*

After that fight with Kendall at the pool, I felt really awful. I mean, I don't want the baby, but I still shouldn't have suggested for him to give it up. I mean, it wasn't my decision anymore.

And I felt more awful when Camille yelled that at him. I know he's been upset with his weight problems in the past, and right now isn't a good time either.

I sighed and gripped Camilles hand a bit tighter as she flipped through a magazine. She frowned when I did that and then shook and pulled her hand away.

"Ouch, Logan. That was to tight." I blinked and looked at her.

"Oh, sorry. I was kinda daydreaming."

"About what?" she frowned, then glanced around the pool.

"Not other girls, I promise. I was just thinking about how I ended things with Kendall."

Camille groaned and sat up.

"Youre still on that? I told you he's not worth it." she stood as her cellphone started ringing. She answered it and smiled.

"Hey, Logan I gotta go. I have an audition in an hour, I have to go get ready."

"Oh,okay have fun." she left me sitting there after that, but I guess it was a good idea she did. I needed to talk to Kendall again.

I waited until Kendall came back from his appointment, and then I waited a little while longer before I walked upstairs. I figured I'd let him relax for a few minutes before I disturbed him. I started thinking about what I was going to say, but when I got up there I felt this...wave of jealousy crash over me when I saw Dak kissing Kendall.

It...it wasn't right! Kendall isn't supposed to kiss anybody but me!

I shook that thought away, wondering where it had popped up from. I was with Camille now, not Kendall. I shouldn't be thinking a stuff like that. But still, that jealousy grew bigger. As soon as Dak left, though, I felt better. I tried talking to Kendall, but he kept making me mad! I know the things I said were mean, but he was being mean back!

And it hurt worse when he called Camille a slut. I mean, we haven't done anything yet, but sometimes shes seems to throw it out that she does. And I'm not sure if I'm exactly ready for that.

But, why wouldn't someone want to have sex with the person their dating? It's a way of bonding, and showing your feelings for one another. And besides sex is amazing.

I didn't mean most of what I said, but I truly did miss Kendall. I hoped we could at least try and be friends again. I guess Kendall really can't forgive me this time.

I was a little shocked when Kendall told me he was giving the baby up. He worked so long to convince everyone that it'd be a good idea to have this baby, but I guess he changed his mind. I wonder why.

I shook my head again as I left the apartment and traveled down to the lobby. I plopped down onto the couch and sat there for a while, just wondering about stuff. When my thoughts traveled to my baby, I tried to shake them away. I didn't want kids, I really didn't.

But the thought of something looking like both Kendall and I traveled through my mind made my heartbeat quicken a little. A little girl, perhaps?

No, I can't turn back on my decision it wouldn't be right to hurt Kendall so badly and then go back on it.

No, I don't want kids, and no, I won't go back to Kendall, I decided. He can't respect my wishes and thoughts, and I wont be with someone like that. I stood and shook away the thoughts of Kendall and the baby as I traveled back up to the apartment.

XXXXXXX

It's been a month since I last truly saw Kendall, and I haven't thought much about him.

I heard that he hasn't left the apartment a lot, because his baby bump is now noticeable. It's been harder for him to move, and his hormones are off the wall. But other than that, I haven't heard anything else about him.

I've been trying to stay as far away from him as possible, even making sure to avoid him in the hallways. Dak also.

Just thinking about that kiss, though, confuses me. I become unbearably jealous and angry, and all I want to do is hurt Dak. Or Kendall.

I'm so confused and messed up. My mind is pulling me apart. I can't decide between anything lately.

I'm falling for Camille more and more everyday, but behind that my feelings for Kendall still are strong and hard. They fade, but sometimes, when I just get a thought about him, or even hear his name, I start thinking and the feelings come back.

I lie on the couch, trying to think it over so often. How did we mess up? Why did this happen to Kendall and I? We were fine the way we were, on our way to getting married and living the rest of our lives with each other.

I mull things over a bit longer. Kendall, sweet, strong, amazing Kendall...

Or Camille? Sexy, smart and stronger than most girls?

I rub my forehead and groan as the question rattles my mind every night, and sometimes during the day.

I need to get this figured out. And I need to hurry.


	20. Chapter 20

A/N

Oy...I hate not having a laptop. Sorry.

Kendalls POV

I'm at the beginning of my sixth month, I've had somewhere around twenty or thirty ultrasounds. I'm having to do them twice a week, and once or twice I've had to call the doctor. I'm glad I haven't had to use my life alert necklace, and I hope I never do.

I walk out of the hospital, feeling the small pitter of rain as it hits me. It's somewhere around the beginning of october by now, and I finally have my due date. I'm due on December twenty fifth, Christmas, but Dr Long is convinced I'll give birth before that.

But I guess the greatest thing about this ultrasound today, I learned the genders of my babies finally. I am having a little girl, and two little boys. I'm a little disappointed I'm not having more girls, because I would love a little girl, but I don't care about it that much. I love little boys, too. I wish I could keep them, dress them in Vans and teach them hockey, but I just can't. I don't want to be a single parent.

I climb into the car, sighing as my huge belly sort of blocked me. In about another week or so, my huge triplet belly wont let me drive anymore, so I'm wasting my time this week with driving as much as I can. I leave the hospital and start to head back to the PalmWoods, checking my watch as I drive the speed limit the whole way home. I'm extra cautious at this time in my pregnancy.

Today is the day I meet the Hartig's. They are my first choice in families to adopt my kids, but they only want one kid and they specifically want a girl. I decided they could have my little girl, because they seemed like they'll take good care of her.

I stop, parking the car into the parking space, but I sit there for a moment and rub my eyes. I can't cry. I can't. I can't become attached to my babies, even though I know I already am. My kids need better lives than this, without a real father.

I feel my bottom lip tremble and I bite it, trying to stop my emotions. Damn hormones.

I finally gather myself up and climb out of the car slowly, making my way up to the apartment. I need to take a shower and make myself look presentable for the Hartigs. The agency was supposed to clear them up on my "Situation" but I'm still extremely nervous.

I climb into the shower real quick and suds myself down, washing my hair real quick. I climb out and quickly dry myself, then I walk out into my room. I sigh when I realize the only thing that might fit is my sweatpants. I pull on some underwear, which is a bit uncomfortable, and I'm about to just find something good to go with sweatpants until I see a medium bag on my bed. I pick it up and smile when I see pants and shirts inside, along with a post it note form my mom.

Kendall,

These are for you. Hope you like them.

Love, mom.

I smile and reach in, finding nice pants and shirts. It's skinny jeans and plaid shirts and tee shirts for larger men, I can see stitches in them where they were modified by my mom. I smile and slip them on, feeling comfortable and loose.

I put on some black skinny jeans, a yellow and grey plaid shirt over a white Big Time Rush tee shirt my mom bought me. It's a little dorky, but I like it.

I brush my teeth and brush my hair, before putting on my new Vans that are a bit bigger for my swelling feet.

I leave the apartment when I'm done, seeing I have about three hours to spare. I decided to go visit Dak. I hurried down to his apartment, feeling a goofy smile appear on my face when I think about him. He's been so nice to me lately.

I knock on his door and he immediately opens it, blushing when he realizes how urgent he seemed.

"H-hey Kendall."

"Hi."

"So, um, come in would you?"

I step in and hug him, standing on my tip toes before I pulled back and blushed myself.

"So, I went and got another ultrasound today, and I now the genders of my babies."

"Thats good! Do you, uh, want something to drink?" I blush and feel my heart beat a little faster as my body warms up. Damn it, these hormones have been having an effect on me lately that has been bugging me.

"Sure, water please." Dak nods and he turns to get me a cup of water. I feel my heart thump as I take him in, seeing the muscles in his back under his thin dark grey shirt. His legs look amazing in his skinny jeans, and I lick my lips when I move up to his butt.

Oh, god I'm so horrible, I shouldn't be thinking like this! Dak wants to go slow, and be all sweet and all i can think about right now is jumping his bones and riding him like a damn stallion.

He turns back around and smiles wide, handing me my glass. I drink it down immediately, trying to think of all the sweet times we've had, like when Dak and I first held hands, when he first kissed me, when I slept over on his couch, our date at the movies, our date at this really yummy, eighties styled diner...

Nope, nothing.

I smile nervously at Dak and he frowns.

"Are you okay?" he places a cool hand to my forehead and I wondered how red I was at this moment.

"F-fine."

"Is it your hormones?" I lower my head.

"Yeah...I'm so sorry, Dak I feel horrible." he chuckles and bends down to peck my cheek.

"Its perfectly fine. I understand." he laughs gently and I shift my gaze to the floor, drinking the water down as his fingers drift down to my skin and then his breath ghosts over my neck. I gasp and drop my empty cup, watching the plastic bounce across the floor.

"D-Dak?" I whisper as his lips suckle my neck. He backs up and blushes as dark as me.

"s-sorry! I thought...it's been a while..I know what I said about taking things slow, but...I figured...you would like it..." I chuckle and Dak pulls me into his strong arms. I wrap my arms around him and sigh.

"You never did tell me the genders of the babies." he says as we quietly walk across the floor, sort of slow dancing as our foreheads press together.

"Oh yeah. Um two boys and a little girl." I look into his eyes and smile, seeing them glisten a little.

"Ive always wanted a little girl, you know." I nod and peck his nose.

"I always thought two little boys would be great, but then I always thought a little girl would be amazing." dak nods slowly, our heads shifting as he does.

"What time is the appointment with the Hartigs?"

"Two and a half hours." I mumble.

"Do you want me to come with?" he whispers, his arms wrapping around my waist and pulling me as close as possible. I nod and then tuck my head into his shoulder, our fingers lacing together. He kisses me gently, and then we're basically stuck together as we tumble onto his couch.

"Oh, Dak..." I whisper as he pops open the buttons on my shirt and rips my tee shirt off, trailing his hands down. He rubs my belly and I blush.

"Stop, I'm so fat." I whisper. Dak chuckles and kisses my belly.

"No, be quiet, you're adorable. I know their not mine, but..." his voice trails off and I look at him seriously as he wipes his eyes, "I wish they were." he continues kissing me and I gasp as he leans over me and sucks one of my nipples. I'm usually not submissive, but my body is aching for sex, and if Dak wants me to be submissive he can go ahead and take me.

"Two and a half hours?" he whispers and I nod as he picks me.

"I know, I know, I said slow, but damn it Kendall, I need to make love to you." I grip his hair as he stumbles towards the bedroom.

"Please, do. Make me feel loved." I whisper as he kicks the door shut.

*An hour later*

We were driving towards the Hartigs appointment, blushing red in the back seat of James's car. Dak held my hand and wouldn't let go, and I absolutely didn't care if he never let go again.

"Im guessing I can already tell what you two did." Carlos chuckled, looking at James as he drove.

"S-shut up." I mumbled, nuzzling into Daks neck as he rubbed my hair.

"Awww, but you're absolutely glowing, Kenny!" James laughed. I watched Dak flip him off and Carlos burst into laughter.

"Watch it, you two."

Carlos held his hands up in surrender,laughing gently.

"Ok,ok, we weren't trying to be mean. I'm glad you two are together and happy, but don't mess it up, okay?" I nod and so does Dak as Carlos turns around and James pulls into the driveway of the Hartigs. I feel my stomach churn as I look up at their house. Its big and I'm suddenly not so sure about this.

"Kenny, you coming?" I turn and see everyone is already out of the car. I look bad at the house and then I nod and slowly get out, walking up to the door and I slowly knock on the door. It opens at the same time a large fluttering happens in my belly. I gasp.

My babies have finally started moving. I feel tears spring in my eyes as I run my hands over my belly.

"Mr Knight?" I look up to see Mrs Hartig for the first time.

"Hi, it's so nice to meet you."

I don't think I can do this.

Logans POV

I've finally made up my mind and chosen.

I cant have Kendall anymore. He obviously hated me and doesn't want me anymore, and the heart ache has consumed me for some long now, I'm done with him. I've given up on the one person I really loved without a doubt.

But...Camille was there for me when everyone else abandoned me. I had no one to turn to and she took me under her wing.

I think I can fall in love with her again. I smile when I see her walking across the pool area. I haven't seen her all day, and she disappeared about two hours ago. She looks a little flustered, so I grabbed my untouched smoothies, seeing it melted a little bit, and I run over to her, pressing it into Camilles hand.

"Hey, you look upset." I kiss her temple, but she seems a little dazed.

"I-I'm fine." but I hug her close. I notice she's a bit red and feels hot. I frown.

"Are you mad?"

She shakes her hand and I slip my fingers into hers, where she blinks and looks at me.

"Whats up?"

I shake my head and lean down to peck her cheek, then I slid my mouth up to her ear.

"Lets, uh, go back to the apartment, okay?" she nods and then I lace our fingers together, looking at her dreamily. Even flustered, she's absolutely gorgeous. As soon as the elevator doors close, I press her into the wall gently and press our lips together. No tongue, its not a make out, but I'm showing her how much she means to me.

When the elevator lets us out, I lead her into her apartment and we immediately head toward her bedroom. I push her down on her bed, watching her fall backwards. She looks a little tired, but Ill definitely be waking her up. I smile at her and climb over her, kicking my shoes off and kissing her, nipping at her neck a little. It tastes odd, like...makeup?

But I ignore it and move to another spot, where I suckle and bite, leaving marks.

I fumble with her Jeans button and zipper, but then I get them undone and rip them off, raveling down her legs. I see shes already wet, so I press my tongue to her wet panties.

"Oh, Logan..." she moans. I peel her panties off and then she sits up, giving me room to strip her, unhooking her bra and tossing it aside, before I yank my own t-shirt off. I climb back over her naked body and I thrust against her, giving her wet womanhood friction that makes her squeal. I watch her squeeze her eyes shut and then she grips the bed sheet as her toes curl.

"Any condoms?" I whisper, suddenly wishing I had planned this.

She nods and points towards her nightstand. I immediately reaching and grip one, stopping when I see a small roll of them.

"Why do you have so many?" her eyes pop open and she looks at me nervously. I feel my stomach churn and she blushes dark.

"Well...you never know when-"

"Camille, are you really a virgin?" she sighs.

"No, sorry, Logan. But look, I haven't slept with anyone else about a month before we started dating again, okay? I promise, you can trust me." I looked deep into her eyes and gave her a small smile.

"Okay." I smiled, leaning down to kiss her as I shimmy out of my own jeans and toss them aside, rolling the condom on as I leaned down to kiss her again.

*an hour later.*

I flopped next to Camille and we tugged her sheets over us, her rolling onto me and instantly began dozing.

"Camille?"

"Yes...?" she said slowly.

"What...what was up earlier with you?"

"Some...dumb audition, don't be worried." she yawned.

"Camille?" she groaned gently.

"Yes?" she says.

"I love you."

But I look down at her to see shes asleep. I frown when I take good look and I sit up on my elbow and look closely at her neck. I see slightly hidden bruises and I wipe what appears to be foundation off. The bruises are small, and faded and I realize their not bruises-their hickeys.

I leave her bedroom after cleaning myself up and putting some boxers on, and I sit on the couch and tap my leg.

I don't know what I'm thinking now. My chest hurts gently, and I'm starting to wonder if what anything she told me was true. She walks out of her room a few minutes later, draped and wrapped in her sheets. She smiles at me and curls up next to me, kissing my cheek.

"I love you to, Logie-bear." I feel my heart pound as I lift her and bring her back to bed. It's pretty early in the afternoon, but I don't care. I love Camille, and I want to spend all my time with her.

Kendalls POV

I sat awkwardly on the Hartigs couch, looking between Diana and Michael.

Diana gave me a small smile, but then coughed.

"So, you're Kendall?"

"Yes." I mumbled, sitting up as straight as my huge belly sticks out. Michael eyes it a little queasily.

"So, um, please tell us...how this...happened to you." Diana smiled, but I could see she was a little nervous.

"Um, I had prostate cancer...and the meds have an odd effect on me. They gave me an uterus and caused me to become...pregnant by my boyfriend." I blushed dark and Michael and Diana looked between each other, before looking at Carlos and James.

"Um...are you two-"

"No, no, we're just his friends. His boyfriend..." Carlos bites his lip and looks at James as their fingers laced together. I sigh.

"His boyfriend walked out on him like a jerk." james gritted his teeth gently.

"And you two..." Diana mumbled, looking at their fingers.

"Their married and have three great kids." I smiled. Michael and Diana nodded.

"So, um, as you know we're having trouble conceiving, and we're dying for a little girl." Michael said, clasp his hands together.

"But, first why did you pick us? I'm just curious." Diana said.

"Well, I was looking for some of the best families for my children, I won't settle for anything less."

"Well thats good- wait, children?!" Diana and Michael look at me in surprise and I smile and rub my belly, feeling tears behind my eyes when my babies kick again. I hold them back and sniffle.

"Yes, triplets." Diana bites her lip.

"Well...we would take all of them..."

"But we just don't have the time or experience. One baby is the only one we can take for now."

"you do know the genders, right?" I nod and hold out my ultrasound pictures from earlier today.

"Two boys and a girl." Diana and Michael take the pictures and smile wide.

"Oh my goodness." Diana covers her mouth and smiles as Michael holds the pictures in amazement.

"A-and the little girl is ours, right?!" he says excitedly. I felt my heart thumb wildly. I wanted to stand up and say,"NO!" but I can't. I bite my bottom lip and suddenly, my hand is grasped tightly by Dak. I look at him with uncertainty.

His eyes look at me and say,"This is your choice, Kendall." I feel reassurance, and I know this is better for my little girl.

"Yes..."I say quietly. Diana and Michael smile, and throw their arms around each other happily, before Michael grabs my hand and shakes it excitedly.

"Thank you! Thank you so much!" I nod.

"We'll set up another meeting next week with the adoption agency." I nod at them and we all stand to leave. As soon as we're outside, I feel my shoulders sag and I give a small sob. Dak wraps his arm around me and holds me close.

"They t-took my ultrasound pictures." I whisper, remembering that they never gave them back. Dak stops me and helps me into the car, climbing in after me and he holds me close.

"I know, baby. I know." he runs his fingers through my hair and I sob into his shoulder. I know this is the right thing to do, but my heart is hurting so bad since I just basically promised my baby girl off to someone else.

"They took my pictures...they took my pictures..." I whisper.

Dak kisses me gently.

"I know, I'm sorry Kendall."

A/N  
>Is anyone else crying?<p>

I am.

Review. 


	21. Chapter 21

Logans POV

I sighed and held Camilles hair back as she puked into the toilet, before she gasped for breath and leaned back.

"You okay?" she looked at me before diving forward again and tossing her breakfast into the toilet. She wiped her mouth and stood slowly, flushing the toilet.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

I frowned at her and squeezed her shoulders.

"You sure? You've been sick...A LOT..." she gave me a small smile as we left the bathroom and I switched off the lights. She curled up on the couch and I smiled, filling a glass of water and handing it to her. She gulped it down gratefully and smiled up at me.

"So, um, do you have any plans for today?" she smiled, leaning towards me. I smiled as her hands drifted towards my thighs.

"Well, I um, I was going to go-" I gasped when she unzipped my jeans and the blood ran down to my groin. I was going to go talk to Kendall about some things, but as soon as Camilles skin touched mine I forgot about it.

I'll talk to him tomorrow.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Its been a week, and I still haven't talked to Kendall.

I know, I know. I'm not involved with him...but I miss him. Kendall and I have been inseparable since kindergarten and not seeing the goofy blonde every day has made me a little loopy.

I'm sort of tired of hanging around Camille. Shes been sick lately, and sometimes she's been a little hormonal. I'm used to the mood swings as an actor but shes been pissy lately, and I've been finding myself walking away from her and going somewhere by myself.

I'm sitting by the pool right now, slurping a pink smoothie. I stop and look at the tasty treat, feeling a bit of sadness. Kendall loves the pink smoothies.

I feel bad for Kendall, suddenly. He cant leave the apartment because of his condition, he can't work, and he can't do a lot of things with Mama Knights help. I feel bad for just abandoning him right now, I could've at least be a friend towards him and helped him.

I set my smoothie down and sigh, looking at my watch. Ive been at the pool for a little over two hours. I sigh again. I don't want to go back up to Camille. Shes been super clingy lately, and I'm getting sick of it, because I need my space, ya know?

But...all my friends abandoned me.

I have nobody.

I toss my unfinished smoothie away and start back up to Camilles apartment, stopping outside 2J and staring at the door, wishing someone would open it and say hi to me and invite me in. I want to see Kendall. I miss him so badly.

I wonder how big his belly is now. Maybe it's huge. I wonder if the baby has started kicking. Would I ever get to feel it? I mean, wait...

I shake my head and continue slowly past the door, stopping at the elevator to turn and look at it. I wish I could've knocked on the door and opened it, going in just to say hi to Kendall at least and see how he is doing. I wonder how's he doing. I wonder if he misses me. I wonder if he ever thinks about me, in a nice way, before all the bad stuff started happening.

The elevator opens and I step into it, riding it up to Camilles apartment. She's already asleep, so I decided to strip to my boxers and climb under the blankets she had for me on the couch.

I swallow hard, feeling the pink smoothie clumping in my throat. I feel very sad for some reason, but I shake it off and try and to sleep.

_I blink and glance around me, watching long green grass in a field wave back and forth slowly. A wind blows my hair gently and I look down to see I'm wearing blue jeans rolled up and a white button up shirt._

_Where the hell am I?_

_I hear laughter and I turn to see the field stop nearly 50 yards away and turn into a light sandy beach. I see a little girl running across the beach, her long glossy brown hair flying behind her. She can't be more than four years old._

_I watch her fall to her knees in front of two little boys, who have a tad darker brown hair than her. The boys seem a bit older, one looking almost eight, the other around ten. I watch them all play and dig in the sand. I stand slowly, twisting my head to the side as I walk slowly towards them. _

_"Kids! Kids, come on, it's time to come in!" The kids look up and they all laugh and scream, running towards the huge ocean as the waves crash, dampening their wet clothes as they all hop in. The oldest boy picks the small girl up and carries her on his back as they run across the sand, the little girl laughing and clapping before they jump back into the water._

_I turn slowly, feeling a small presence behind me and I realize this is the person who just yelled for the kids to come in. The sun makes them seem dark and I can't see them at first, as I back into the warm sand and dig my toes in, lifting my hand up to shade my eyes._

_"Logan, sweetheart, you okay?" I widen my eyes and stare into the green eyed, blonde watching his hair flutter. He leans forward and presses a kiss to my lips, his mouth a little bit higher since he's taller than I am, and my nose is pushed up a little._

_I blush as Kendall pulls me close and continues kissing me, dipping me back a little before he holds me close, turning to look at the kids._

_"Aren't they beautiful?" I hear him whisper. I look at him and then at the three young children._

_"W-who are they?" Kendall giggles and then he blushes deep pink._

_"Our children, silly. Abigail, Dylan, Joey! Come on, let's go inside!" Kendall cries, laughing as the three children come streaking across the beach and up the field, running towards a house behind me, something I didn't notice before. The back deck has two doors that open into a kitchen and I smell wonderful smells wafting from the kitchen as the kids plop their soggy bodies onto a wooden picnic table. I smile a little, still confused by this, but the little girl grabs my and and tugs me to sit down beside her._

_"Come on, Daddy! It's hamburger night!" my eyebrows raise and I look at Kendall, who's standing above me and handing out the burger patties._

_"D-daddy?" Kendall smiles, and chuckles, pressing his hand to my forehead._

_"You feelin' okay? You're acting a little odd." I stare at the boys sitting across firm me and then down at the little girl. They all have dark brown hair with a tinge of blonde in it, and amazing green eyes. They all smile and my heart explodes when I see all of their smiles contain adorable dimples._

_I look down at the little girl._

_"Abigail?"_

_"Yes, Daddy?" she smiles, her mouth is missing a baby tooth. I smile and lean close._

_"I have to tell you a secret." her eyes go wide._

_"Ooh what is it, Daddy?"_

_I lean close and then grab her and tickle her quickly, then I press my lips to her cheek and blow a raspberry. She squeals and I smile, kissing her forehead._

_"Daddy, you're silly!" I smile and hold her close, not caring she's soaking me through._

_"Daddy, yeah...Im a daddy." I think to myself._

XXXXXXXX

_I don't know how, but there felt like a huge time skip as the next thigh I knew I was standing in this gorgeous bedroom, a small balcony with the doors open and the curtains glowing gently. Kendall laid under the bed sheets, his head on his elbow, and his chest was bare. The sun was just starting to go down and it made a gorgeous orange-ish glow on the room and across kendalls face._

_I felt my heart start to quicken as his leg jiggled gently under the covers and then he sat up slowly and crooked his finger at me, motioning for me to come forward. I dropped my boxers to the ground and was on the bed in a second, burying my tongue in Kendalls mouth as he moaned and slid his own boxers off, wrapping his legs around me. The glow from the sun made him look tanned and beautiful and hazy and...and..._

_I just remember being buried inside of him, moaning and holding onto him as he gripped my shoulders, cried out in pleasure and we kissed gently, not just on the lips though. Our bodies were covered in marks from each other and our sweat shone as I rocked our bodies together. I lifted kendalls torso up, not completely sitting him up as I rocked into him. He tossed his head back as we both released and called my name._

_I kissed him before releasing inside of him, falling down on top of him and panting, kissing him and burying my fingers into his sweaty hair._

_I blinked and felt sleepy, but suddenly I sat up, noticing it was dark and rainy outside. I stood quickly and shut the balcony doors, looking down to see I was dressed in my boxers and a t-shirt, same as Kendall. I was sweaty either, and I saw the bathroom light on. I mustvw taken a shower._

_Wait-another time skip? What is this?_

_But my thoughts were cut off as I heard a small cry and I turned to my bedroom door, opening it and finding my little daughter, Abigail,standing there. She wore a thin night gown and was holding a Teddy bear._

_"Abigail, what's wrong?" I suddenly felt awkward, but I squatted down and stood eye level with her._

_"Daddy I'm scared!" she threw her arms around me and I was shocked. I slowly wrapped my arms around her and held her close, relishing in the warm body of my fighter, feeling my heart speed up. The hug was filled with love and I could feel my daughter shaking._

_"Come on, get in bed with daddy and I."_

_"Is father sleeping?" she whispered. Oh, so that's what she called Kendall, Father._

_"Yeah, shhh, come on."_

_I slipped under the covers with her, letting her sit in between Kendall and I. The heat swarmed underneath the blanket with the added body, and it felt cozy with the rain outside._

_I felt my eye lids droop and then they popped open when Kendall started kissing my forehead._

_"I love you,Logan...Logan..." his voice started to distort and I started up into his eyes, watching their beautiful bottle green disappear._

_"Kendall, Kendall? Kendall? Wait!" I cried watching his beautiful eyes turn into dark brown ones._

_"Logan-"_

I sat up and gasped, looking at Camille. She stared at me strangely.

"What is wrong with you?" she scoffed, before turning and marching back into her bedroom, slamming the door shut.

I sighed and ran my fingers through my thin hair, gripping it gently and lying back down. I have to talk to Kendall, badly. I think...

I think I definitely fucked up my life these past few months.

XXXXXXXXXX

I hurried and showered the next day, wanting to hurry and skip out on Camille. Her moods are so bad lately, it's annoying.

I hurried and tried leaving, but she stopped me halfway out the door.

"Where are you going?"

*italic this sentence* Anywhere but here.

"Out." I answered simply. She crossed her arms.

"How long are you going to be out?"

Why did it matter to her?

"I don't know, maybe an hour or two."

Camille nodded and turned away, giving a heavy exhale.

"Fine, have fun." she grunts. I shrug and leave quickly, glad to get away from her.

I hurry down the stairs, hopping off the last flight of it and hurrying to the smoothie barm, slapping down a bill and grabbing two pink smoothies. I smiled and regained my posture before I started up the elevator. I smiled to myself slowly.

Maybe I could start small talk with Kendall? Maybe?

I thought about my dream and smiled, feeling my cheeks heat up slowly. I can just imagine it happening, our little family. That big house on the beach, a boy or two, and definitely a little girl. Abigail...its such a pretty little name.

I held one smoothie in my arm and knocked on the door, before opening it and switching the smoothie back gently and I used my elbow to open the door.

My eyes bugged out of my head, my throat closed up and I felt my heart freeze as I stared at the sweaty pale skin wrapped around the tan skin, the moans, the shaking legs, the lips that clashed together.

I felt tears appear in my eyes and I dropped the smoothies. They spilt everywhere as my hands flew up to my mouth and held back a small cry.

Kendalls clenched eyes opened and he glanced at me. I was shocked at first, to see his pale skin, his thin face. He looked sickly ill. His shoulders were thin, his cheeks had sunken in a little. His gorgeous eyes glared at me for a moment, and I swallowed hard.

Kendalls POV

Dak was buried inside of me on the couch, because my mom was gone and katie was, too. And I was just too lazy to stand up and leave, and travel all the way to my bedroom.

Or should I say, OUR bedroom?

Dak basically lived with us now, because he usually was always around. Our hormones screamed the saw thing, and next thing I knew, he was on top of me. I was in complete pleasure as he rocked into me, jabbing and moving quickly as he made sweet love to me.

"O-ooh Dak..." Dak moaned and his hands slid over my huge seven month belly. The babies fluttered and kicked and hit, punching Dak basically as he disturbed their sleep.

"God, Kendall." suddenly he stopped.

"Daaaakkk!" I whined. He grunted and thrusted in hard.

"Sorry...thought I heard knocking." he continued, and I smiled, tossing my head back as my babies kicked harder. It didn't hurt, but I felt bad for waking them up.

I heard a splash and I stopped, opening my eyes and sitting up difficulty, gasping and looking at Logan as he stood in the doorway, hands over his mouth and smoothies spilt all around him.

"W-well, you seem to r-rebound quickly." he hiccuped, and I felt that dull ache in my chest begin again as I watched him struggle to hold his tears back.

"Logan? What the hell are you doing here?" Dak growled, sitting up and covering me with a blanket, tossing the blanket over my large belly. He stood and shrugged into his own pants, but I clung to the blanket and stared at Logan with sadness. I didn't want him to see that.

Ever.

Dak stood and walked over to Logan.

"Answer me, what do you want?" he crossed his arms and frowned. Logans eyebrows shot up and then he hung his head, tears falling off his face.

"I-I um...I just thought..."

"Speak up." Dak said softly, not harsh, but in a sort of mean tone.

Logan looked up and clenched his fists in anger as his tears fell harder off his face.

"I thought I could come back, and talk to him!"

"He doesn't want to talk to you!" Dak cried.

"I just thought-"

"Why would you even think that? After what you did to him? Why would anyone even want to talk to you after that!?" Dak cried. Logans tears fell faster.

"I thought things over!"

"I thought you already made your decision." I said softly. Logan looked at me with a great deal a of sadness. He rushed to my side and grabbed my hand.

"Please, please Kendall, listen to me. I messed up, I know what I did was wrong but you have to understand, I was scared!"

I snatched my hand back, rubbing at my tears.

"I was scared, too, you know. I thought I was going to be a single parent and have to deal with this alone. No one was there for me, like you were supposed to be."

"Please, Kendall, I can fix this. Please, I know you won't take me back immediately, but at least we can try to be friends again?" I looked at Logan then my eyes slid over to Dak. He looked sad, his chestnut eyes filled with heart break. I looked at Logan and shook my head gently.

"No. You weren't there, like you promised you'd be. We were always there, through thick and thin, but one problem you definitely should've been there for, you skipped out on. I don't want you anymore, Logan, you've hurt me too much. You could've had it all with me, Logan, but because of you, I'm giving the baby up for adoption, and I'm staying with Dak." I crossed my arms and turned away, letting my tears fall.

Logan stands and leaves without a word, but I can hear him sob. I look up at him at the last moment as he turns and looks at me.

"I still love you, Kendall. I just want you to know."

"Im so sorry, Kendall." he says quietly. I know his apology isn't real, though, because he is actually relieved I chose him instead. I sob into his chest gently.

"Dak...my chest...it hurts..."

Dak lowers me to the couch and I sob harder as he brings his lips to my chest and kisses repeatedly.

I bury my face in his neck and let out little cries as I try to toss away any thoughts of Logan in my head.

Logans POV

I raced away from 2J and up to Camilles apartment. I had to get away from Kendall as fast as possible, because I didn't think I can take anymore heartbreak.

But the moment I opened the door, my heart seemed to dissolve completely.

"-And because of you stupid fucker, I'm pregnant!"

I stared at Camille in shock as she held up a pregnancy stick, which clearly said positive. And Steve stood across from her. They both turned to me and Camilles jaw dropped in shock.

"Logan?"

I glanced between her and Steve.

"You...you cheated on me?"

"Oh don't give her the chance to make up some sob story for you, Logan." Steve hissed. I glared at him gently, but he remained calm.

"What do you mean?"

Camille opened her mouth to say something, but Steve cut her off.

"She came to me, claiming she fucking loved me and all this shit and then fucked me, and she knew I was messed up, because my friend decided to get me drunk at noon. She was stupid enough not to use a condom!"

"Liar!" she shrieked.

"He WANTED to have sex with me, Logan! He begged me! I didn't want to do it! He forced me-"

"Shut the fuck up you stupid bitch! Fine, okay I lied! But you came to me and said you liked me and when I asked you about Logan, YOU lied!"

"But YOU didn't use a fucking condom!" she shrieked. He growled and ran his fingers through his hair. His eyes flashed angrily.

"It tore! I told you that! Seriously, Logan, I had NO CLUE you guys were together." he looked at me and I felt like my breath was being taken away by this pain. Camille didn't deny that part.

"And then, Logan, when she wanted to get to you, she was going to use you, too. But once she found out she was pregnant, Logan, she was going to claim it was yours. And I don't think that would settle with the people of PalmWoods, since most hate you for skipping out on Kendall and his baby." Camilles eyes bulged and I felt guilt settle into my stomach. I felt like a crumpled up piece of paper.

"Kendall is...pregnant?" she hissed at me. Then she came forward and slapped me.

I soughed, I was use to the pain, but I looked at her in anger.

"You know what? I was wrong about you. Kendall WAS right; you're nothing but a damn slut." Steve turned and slowly left, shutting the door halfway behind him, but I stood there and crossed my arms.

"You promised me you wouldn't hurt me again and you did. Why? God, why Camille? What did I do? You know what, I'm done with you. This is the final straw with you." I turned and walked over to the couch, scooping up all my items and shoving them into my bag as Camille began crying.

"Please, Logan, I'm sorry, I messed up, i know, but please! Steve wont take the baby and I can't do this myself!" I shook my head at her and left, leaving her in her own puddle of a mess; I have my own problems to deal with. I slammed the door behind her and bummed into Steve. He looked down at me warily.

"Im sorry,Logan, I truly am. I didn't know. But, listen to me, be wary about things and while at it, watch who you're with. My suggestion? Go back to Kendall. He needs you now more than ever, probably." he turned and left, and I watched him in wonder.

How the hell was I ever jealous of him? He's actually pretty cool.

I turned and left, going to the only place I knew, now. I hoped they would at least spare me a couch to lie on.

I knocked on the door to 2J and it opened to Kendalls brilliant green eyes.

"Logan I already told you-"

"Camille cheated on me and got pregnant. It's not mine and I'm not taking care of it for her like she wants me, too." I lowered my eyes to the ground and sniffled, staring at the gooey smoothie mess.

"I know I don't have the right, and you can say no all you want...but can I at least have a couch to sleep on?" I whispered. The door opened a little wider, and Kendall slid behind Dak. Dak looked at me with hard eyes. They were both dressed now and I sighed.

"Dak I'm s-"

"Camille cheated on you?" he whispered. I nodded and let my tears fall more. I sank to the ground and sobbed, tucking my head into my knees.

"Oh god I-I fucked my l-life up." I sobbed. The door opened and I watched Mama Knight, to my surprise, crouch down next to me. She looked at me sadly before pulling me into her arms.

"We can give you better than couch, we can give you a bed, hunn."

I sobbed into her shoulder and smiled gently.

"Thank you."

*a week later...*

Kendalls POV

I stared down at the pool watching the rain splash into it every few seconds. I'm bored in the apartment, but I have no choicer but to stay here.

I checked my watch before standing up, rubbing my big belly and opening the fridge. I turned and groaned because nothing sounded good. I smiled once I saw the bubbling pot my mom had on the stove.

I reached my finger in and my mom slapped my hand with a wooden spoon.

"Don't, sweetheart, that's unsanitary." I sucked on my hand where she had hit it. My mom gave me a sympathetic look and rubbed my cheek.

"Im hungry, mom." my mom pressed her hand to my forehead.

"Okay...I'll...I'll make you a sandwich. Go wash your hands and get ready for dinner." I smiled and slowly waddled to the bathroom, where I slid in and looked at myself in the mirror with a slight grimace. My cheeks have sunken in, and so have my eyes a little. My eyes have dark bags under them, because the babies, or one of them, wakes up in the middle of the night to kick me. I'm paler than ever, and I look deathly sick.

These children are draining the life out of me.

I inspect myself a bit closer and I rub at my skin, rubbing a bit of acne on my chin. My shoulders and legs are thinner, my collar bone is showing without a problem, but my belly is large and thick. My medicine doesn't help. I'm still nauseous all the time, I'm dizzy more often and Dak is always making me sit down or lie down. He rarely lets me do things by myself.

I wash my hands and leave, hurrying so I don't have to stare at my reflection anymore and think about my possible fate.

I sit down at the table and open my laptop while I wait for dinner to get finished. I immediately bring up my saved tab and I flicked through the profiles on the adoption website. I have yet to find a family or two to take my baby boys and I'm frightened I might not find any before I go in for my C-section.

I find a family, consisted of two homosexual men. They seemed nice enough, but I noticed they were on welfare. I cant have a family like that take my son, or sons. My children need good opportunities in life, they can't be left behind. I continue to scroll down and I sigh as my mom sets a small peanut butter and jelly sandwich next to me. I'm so picky about this.

A single parent mother...nope shes a doctor. She would be raised by a nanny, not a mother.

I sigh and rub my forehead in distress. I can feel my hormones bouncing around, and I'm upset Dak isn't here. He usually stays here, but now he's been going back to his apartment. He's sort of upset that my mom let Logan stay with us again, but I have no say against it. My mother already argued with me, and she said when she brought us down here, she promised all of the other guys's parents she would take care of them.

"Hes hurting, and he's deeply sorry, Kendall. I know you cant forgive him, but I can. I can at least him in stay back here with us." she said.

I rested my head on my arm and looked at my mom before I groaned.

"When is Thanksgiving? Turkey and stuffing sound soooo good." my mom gives a small chuckle, but doesn't look at me. Her eyes are sympathetic and filled with dread everytime she talks to me, and everytime she even looks at me, she looks ready to cry.

I know what might happen to me when these babies are born. I have a fifty-fifty chance of not walking out of that hospital alive, but I'm willing to take that risk as long as I can bring my beautiful children into the world.

I close my laptop once Logan walks into the kitchen. He looks at me slowly and I gaze at him. He looks like crap. His hair is ruffled and pushed in different directions and you can definitely tell he's been crying. He's been sleeping all day, still in his jeans and shirt from last night, he has stubble on his face. Mama Knight hands him a plate and he sits down at the furthest chair away from me at the bar. He's silent as my mom leans over and feels his forehead.

"You feeling okay, Hun?"

"Im fine. Thank you for dinner." he whispers. My mom makes a "tsk" noise and sighs.

"Logan, please cheer up a little. At least take a shower and change, maybe you'll feel better."

He nods and stares at his food.

My mom hands me my own plate and I eat it in a hurry, inhaling my dinner before I slow down once I realize how much of a pig I resemble. I swallow my food more slowly, but before my mom even gets a chance to sit down with Katie, I'm done and up for seconds. I waddle towards the pot and scoop up more to eat.

"Kendall, don't over eat, trust me baby fat is hard to get rid of." she whispers. I shrug and sit back down to eat. Logan puts his plate in the sink and starts to slink back to the guest room, but my mom stops him.

"Logan, wait, maybe you, Katie and Kendall could have...a movie night?" my eyes bulge at my mom.

"Mom." I hiss. She ignores me and smiles at Logan.

"I'll run out and rent some movies for you guys, since I'm going out anyway. Does that sound good?" I turn and watch Logan smile before he heads off to take a shower.

"Mom!" I glare at her. She sighs and sets her fork down.

"Kendall, give him a break. He feels guilty about what he did, and while at it, he's hurting from Camille. He needs a break, and while at it, he could use a friend. I'm not telling you to fall completely in love with him, but at least save whats left of your guys's friendship. At least reassure him he has someones shoulder he can cry on." she says softly. I hang my head when I realize shes right, but I'm still not happy about it.

"Ill make chocolate and Carmel covered popcorn." she says and I look at her with wide eyes, seeing Katie roll her eyes from my peripheral.

"Okay, I'll do it." my mom smiles as she stands up to put her plate away. She bends over and kisses my head.

"Thank you."

xxxxxxxxxxx

I settled on the couch and stretched out on it, with my big warm bowl of popcorn smothered in chocolate and carmel resting on my belly. I tossed a comforter over me and was lying in sweats and a huge tee shirt that just barely covered my entire stomach. The movie was waiting on the main menu as I waited for Katie and Logan. My mom came out and smiled at me a little in my comfortable position.

"Be nice, okay? Love you. I'll be back tomorrow afternoon." she kissed my forehead and left. A few minutes later, Katie popped her head into the living room, not dressed in pajamas.

"Mom leave? Good. Bye." she started heading towards the door.

"Hey! Wait! Where do you think you're going?"I hissed angrily. Katie rolled her eyes.

"Im sleep overing at a friends."

"Don't leave me here alone with Logan!" I said quietly. Katie sighed.

"Just watch a movie, say you're sorry, eat some popcorn, kiss and go to bed." she said before slamming the door behind her. I sighed and grabbed a handful of popcorn, shoving the drying pieces into my mouth and crunching on the sweet taste as Logan stepped into the living room nervously. He wore grey sweats and a tee shirt, too. He settled on the couch and curled up into a ball in the corner.

"Um...what movie are we watching?" he said quietly.

"Spiderman." I said softly.

"Good choice." he reached towards the bowl of popcorn and I pulled it away from him on reflex. I didn't mean to be mean like that. Logan sighed and stood.

"Look, I know you don't want to be alone with me, or do anything that involves me right now, so just tell me and I'll leave you alone." he said in a hurt tone. I felt bad, but then with a small epiphany, I realized Logan was feeling the same hurt I felt so many months ago when he lied to me and basically walked out on me without another thought. Camille played him like a rag doll and he suffered from it.

I hung my head in guilt.

"No...its fine. You can watch the movie with me." Logan looked at me in shock and gave me a small smile. He sat down next to me as I played the movie and I handed my popcorn bowl to him so he could have some. He gratefully took a handful before passing the bowl back.

Halfway through the movie, though, I couldn't concentrate and al i could tank about was what Logan was thinking right now. So many questions filtered and drifted in my mind that I stopped watching the movie and didn't pay attention when it ended and Logan put in Batman Begns. Halfway into the beginning of that I finally turned to him in a frenzy.

"Why, Logan? Why didn't you at least think about what would happen when you discovered I was pregnant?! Why couldn't you just at least stick around and help me? I would've given the baby up anyway." I felt more guilt gnaw at me, because I was still lying about the triplets. Just because I'm talking to Logan, though, doesn't mean anything. I still don't think he deserves to see them or even know about them.

Logan turned to me in shock.

"You were serious about giving the baby up?" I nodded slowly and Logan rubbed his face in shock.

"But why? You wanted a baby so badly, Kenny!"

"Dont call me that, and answer MY questions first!" I cried. Logan sighed, yanking some comforter up over his folded knees and tucked it under his chin.

"I was scared. I didn't want to lose you. I didn't want to lose Big Time Rush, considering the fact it's almost gone anyway, since Gustavo has everybody on this huge break and Carlos and James can't leave for a tour because of the kids. I didn't want to lose my chance at becoming a doctor and having a good life. All I wanted was for both of us to live it out on Big Time Rush, then when that ended, I become a doctor, you become a hockey player and we live in this big awesome house where we have awesome Hollywood parties and live out our fantasy lives together." Logan rambled, but then stopped to rub his face as he sniffled.

"But I guess I really fucked up, didn't I? Any other day, you would've chosen me over the latter, but now you have Dak and..and..." Logan buried his face into the comforter and shook as he tried to contain his tears.

"-And Camille lied...and-and I...I didn't listen to you...and, oh god I was a complete idiot for leaving you, Kendall, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry! It hurts, Kendall, it hurts. I don't have anything anymore!" he burst into sobs and I watched in shock as he shook hard and cried into the corner of the blanket.

I sat there for a moment;emotionless. I was a little in shock, not knowing what to do in this situation. Usually, it's me that's crying nowadays. I've lost my role as leader in everything, but I had to step up again. I slowly scooted closer to Logan, having no choice to move slow, but then I gently rubbed his shoulder. He looked at me with red eyes.

"...all I wanted...was for some peace between us, and to know that you actually felt bad about what you did, Logan. But, just because I agreed for you to live here with us, doesn't mean I completely forgive you. After this pregnancy is over, maybe we can try and become friends again. But nothing more than friends, because I made a promise to Dak I wouldn't hurt him, and I don't think I could attempt to be with you again after what you did." I said softly. Logan sniffled and nodded.

"Nothing but mere friends, Logan, for now. But I still don't think you deserve the right to see your child." I whispered, still lying about the triplets. Logans jaw opened a little.

"I-I can't see my baby, before you give them up?" he whispered. I shook my head.

"Please, Kendall, I know we're just staying friends, but please keep the baby." I turned to him in shock.

"But you don't want kids!"

"I told you I thought things differently!"

"But you can't go back on what you said!" I cried. Logans eyes went dull.

"Please...I'm begging you, not as anything but a friend and father of my kid...keep the baby, please?" I shook my head and stood silently, taking a few minutes to stand up. I waddled away, trying to ho,d myself together and not sob and bawl my eyes out. My baby daughter has been promised away,I can't find families for my sons, and now Logan tells me to keep the "baby" even though its triplets and he STILL doesn't know.

I can't take this kind of stress anymore. I drag my comforter behind me as I walked to my room, but Logan stops me.

"Kendall?...At least tell me the babies gender...please?"

I cover my mouth as I feel sobs building in my throat, and I leave, heading towards my room as tears roll down my face, glad Logan can't see them.

XXXXXXXXXX

The next day, I woke up to find pancakes, and fruit, and waffles, eggs and bacon all nice and hot...set out for me. Logan sat at the table, sipping coffee, deep bags under his eyes. He's obviously been crying again.

I sit down in front of the food and look at Logan, watching him glance at me over his shoulders.

"Its to make up for last night." he says quietly, before he stands. He rocks back and forth, from foot to foot and stares nervously at the ground.

"Kendall...at least, think about it though. Think about keeping the baby. Just think...for me." he whispers before he walks bad to his room. I sigh and hurry and eat, needing to hurry up and clean myself up for the appointment I have with the Hartigs today.

I shower quickly and leave, needing to put some distance between Logan and myself as possible. I ride the elevator down to Daks apartment, knocking on his door. I wait for Jim to open the door, and when he does my stomach does flips.

"Shit, do you have to tempt me like that?" I hiss at him when he opens the door, only in a towel, hair dripping.

"Sorry, thought you were my manager." he chuckles as I pout.

"Thats not funny."

"Aw, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you mad." he pecks me on the cheek and I feel my blush spread everywhere.

"Its okay, you're forgiven." Dak smiles at me.

"Okay, come in, just let me go get dressed and we can leave." I smile and plop my pregnant tush on the couch as Dak disappears down the hall. I bet he swung his hips from side to side on purpose...

I rub my eyes and try to stop myself. I can't deal with a boner right now, but it comes anyway and ten minutes later, I'm sitting there, waiting for Dak to come out and help me. He looks at me, my arms crossed and I'm acting sore towards him, before he laughs.

"You did that on purpose." Dak winks and slowly lowers himself to his knees.

"Maybe I did, what are you going to do about it?" I frown at him but then he slides my elastic waistband of my jeans down.

"Wait-Dak stop-" I try and push him away, but he just continues and sits there and laughs at me.

"Why? I thought you would like this." he leaned forward and I groaned.

"Dak, stop it, I'm fat!" I whine, but Dak grabs my hard erection and I clap my hands over my mouth in surprise.

"Quiet, you're adorable." I watch him as he begins sucking on the head, and I gasp beneath my hand, my legs pulling up a little to rub at his sides. He spreads them so he has room as he licks and sucks the head, pressing his thumb into my slit. I let out a scream of pleasure as he nibbles the head gently, then engulfs it entirely.

"O-Oh-OH GOD!" I try to smother my cries, but Dak keeps going, gagging and bobbing his head, making me grab a pillow off his couch and bite into it. I feel the warmth build in my stomach and I shriek as I arch, well as much as I can, into his mouth and I scream under the pillow as I release into his mouth. Dak swallows it before standing, tucking my now flaccid penis into my pants again. He chuckles and licks his lips.

"Thats gross..." I pant. Dak chuckles and kisses my cheek.

"Ill go brush my teeth, and then we can leave to go meet the Hartigs." I watch him walk away, swinging his hips, so I threw the soggy pillow at him.

"Damn you, Dak!"

I hear his laughter echo down the hallway.

XXXXXXXXX

Once we drove over to the Hartigs in the cold rain, we all sat there in a sort of awkward position as we waited for the adoption agency to send an agent of theirs over.

"So, um, Kendall... How have you been? Taking good care of the babies, right?" I frowned a little. Whenever I talked to these people, they didn't seem to care about anything but the baby.

"Yes, of course. Having a miscarriage could kill me, or harm me badly." Diana's eyes went wide.

"Well...I'll go make tea." she stood quickly and left, fixing her suit she wore. She always wore skirt suits, or slacks with button ups. Michael wore sort of the same.

"So, um...ready for turkey day?" Michael fixed his glasses and I nodded.

"Ive been craving stuffing and turkey for what feels like two weeks now. So, yeah, since I'm eating for four." I look at Dak and he nibbles on his thumbnail. He doesn't like this awkward tension,either.

"How about Christmas? Unless you celebrate something else?" he coughs. At least he acts like he's interested in my life.

"Yeah, I guess I'm sort of excited for Christmas...I used to go home for Christmas but I can't this year." I shrug and he frowns.

"Oh, why not? I mean, you could drive there right?" I shake my head.

"Too long of a trip back up to Minnesota."

"Youre from Minneosta?" he smiles. I nod slowly and he chuckles.

"How are things up there, Jesus I haven't been home to Minnesota in years!" I smile slowly and as I'm about to answer him, the door bell rings and Diana bursts from the kitchen, straightening herself before opening the door, letting in the agency woman. She's tall, has a dark natural tan, and has hazel eyes with dark curls pulled into a bun.

"Hi, Mrs. Hartig, Im Samantha Cruze, I'll be your agent for this adoption." she smiles and we all shake hands with her as she sits down on the couch and opens a file. She looks at me and smiles wide.

"We have already been informed on your situation, but now all we need is a bit of info. First, when are you due?"

"December 25th." Ms. Cruze takes out a pen and scribbles it on a line on some incredibly important looking paper.

"Now, open or closed adoption?" I open my mouth, because I haven't really chosen or thought about it yet. But Diana obviously has this all set up.

"Closed!" I feel a bit hurt and she looks at me, seeing my pained expression.

"Sorry, Kendall. But I think I would feel more comfortable if our little girl doesn't know." I shut my mouth and hang my head a little.

Ms. Cruze obviously saw my twinge of pain and she cleared her throat.

"The baby doesn't belong to you officially until its born and Mr. Knight has signed the papers. Oh, and the carrier is the only person who can decide if the adoption will be open or closed." I look at her and she gives me a warm smile. I smile back a little, feeling heat rise to my cheeks as Dak wraps an arm around me and squeezes.

"I...I would like it to be open... Just so I can see my little girl grow, and meet her one day." Diana gives me a cold stare but I ignore her. The open or closed part is my choice in this. I already know Diana isn't comfortable with me, but she'll obviously do anything for this baby.

"Good, that's actually a good choice. You get pictures every six months from the adopted family and when your child is 18, or if the Hartigs allow it before then, she can officially meet you.(1)" I smiled and laced my fingers with Daks.

"When can Kendall sign the baby over?" Diana says quickly. Michael is silent throughout the whole thing, sitting in the same position with his hands clasped together. Diana seems to be in control right now.

"When the baby is born." Ms. Cruze states again. She closes the file and puts it in her bag.

"Um, why? Just a question." Diana's leg jiggles in irritation.

"Because once the baby is born, some people back out of the adoption, because they get cold feet and decide to keep the baby,instead. This gives them that opportunity and saves us a lot of paperwork. Now, thank you for your time, please contact me if you have anymore questions and when the babies go into labor." I smiled and shook Ms. Cruzes hand as she left, before Dak took a card from her so we could call her when I went into labor.

After the door shut behind her, Diana turned on me.

"Why did you go against my wishes? It was one simple thing." I sighed as Dak placed a hand on my back and helped me waddle to the door. Damn my sore, swollen feet.

"Because it was my choice not yours. I call you guys when I go into labor, so you know when to come." and then we left. And I was thankful to leave, because even though I'm carrying their only hope for a kid, I highly doubt that they have any good feelings towards me.

I rub my belly and turn away from Dak, watching the rain fall across the gray, cloudy, winter L.A.

"I can do this...I can do this..." I whisper to myself under my breath, because all i need is some faith in myself now, and maybe I won't get cold feet.

Logans POV

_I watch as a little blonde girl, with deep chocolate eyes, and her hair cut short in the back, long in the front at the sides, as she bounces a ball across the sand. I sigh and lean back on my hands, digging my palms into the grainy rocks. The waves crash and the wind blows around me hard as I watch a young toddler, a boy, waddle up to the little girl. They look almost identical in features._

_The little gilt, only nine maybe, as she holds the young toddlers hand and begin walking across the sand. The waves blow their hair as they walk over to where the ball landed, bobbing in the small waves. She picks it up and hands it to the little boy as Kendall sits next to me._

_I turn to him and smile as he leans in to kiss me._

I wake up with a small gasp and sigh when I realize it was only a dream.

Ive been having these dreams, with Kendall, the beach, and kids every day. Sometimes the kids are different, but sometimes their the same.

I realized it's around noon and smell of thanksgiving dinner is already being cooked and wafted in the apartment,and the sound of football is on the tv. I smile and climb out of bed, being quiet as I walk into the living room and survey the scene.

James and Carlos are here, along with all the kids, and Dak. Drake runs around with Nathaniel, trying to teach his younger brother some things, and I watch the baby fall, but stand back up and toddle after his brother. He's grown so big, I'm surprised. He has a full head of thick black hair and hazel eyes, almost identical to his sister.

I smile a little and turn to see Mama Knight and Katie in the kitchen, baking and fixing up all the different foods. I spot Ham and Turkey being ready for place in the oven, several pies are being made, I spot some casseroles and I smile, leaning against the counter. I spot Dak and Kendall sitting at the table, their backs to me. I can see them flirting quietly, before Kendall quietly laughs at something Dak said and leans close to peck him on the lips.

My blood boils and I fume for a moment, before I turn to quietly leave and take a shower. I toss a glance at Carlos and James, who ignore me. I hope one day they can understand how much guilt I have resting on me and I wonder if they will ever be able to forgive me.

I hop into the shower, standing there for a little while. I like to think in the shower, just because the water is relaxing. After nearly an hour, I climb out and dry off quickly. I shave, and then pull on some blue jeans and a t-shirt. It's not spiffy and nice looking, but it's comfortable. I leave my bedroom and walk into the kitchen again, seeing everything except the pies are ready.

I walk past Carlos and James, who are holding Nathaniel and Veronica as they jump around and cheer for their team. Drake is behind them, bouncing up and down on the couch as he cheers with his parents, not knowing why but just being happy to make some noise.

I walk into the kitchen, my bare feet slapping against the floor. Mama Knight smiles at me.

"want to help me with pies?" I glance over my shoulder at Kendall and Dak, feeling my heart sink. Mama Knight wraps an arm around my shoulder and leads me towards the kitchen.

"Just ignore him." she whispers. I nod as she leaves me to work on the pie crusts and fill the lans with filling, then place them in the oven so by the time we've all finished our turkey and stuffing, the pies will be warm and ready.

Mama Knight then sets up all of the food on the counter, in a line, the stack of plates and silverware at the end. Usually, there's so many people and so much food on Thanksgiving that we make the food into a buffet line so it doesn't crowd the table.

But as everyone starts towards the food, Mama Knight stops us.

"Wait, family picture first!" its a tradition for our families to take a family picture every holiday. It's to show how big our family grows. And this year, its also for our families back home.

I chuckle as everyone groans and moves back into the living room. James picks up Nathaniel and holes him, tickling his sin to make him giggle. Carlos holds Drake and Veronica on his hips, Kendall and Dak take two chairs and sit them in front of James and Carlos, and Katie stands in front of James. Mama Knight will stand on the other side of Kendall, next to Dak. With a sudden realization, my heart sinks. Dak has taken my place by Kendall in our family picture.

Mama Knight sets up the camera on its tripod, but then spots me and frowns.

"Logan, what are you doing? Get over in this picture." she smiled at me, but I gently shook my head.

"Im fine Mama-"

"Youre part of this family, Logan. Now, come on, so we can all eat." she smiles and I slowly stand up and make my way over to stand next to her, as she wraps an arm around me and smiles at the camera. I smile a little as the camera flashes twice, taking two pictures and then everyone departs to go grab plates and line up for the food.

James hurries and makes Drake and Veronicas food, depositing their plates on the table. There are two seats on each side of the table, two at the end, on a regular basis. But tonight, theres a high chair on one corner of the table. One chair is squished by the twins, and a folding chair is placed on another corner. Dak and Kendall grab their food, and I watch with a bit of laughter as he fills up two plates and waddles back to the table. Katie slips in and takes her plate before slinking back to her usual spot at the table, and by the time it's my and Mama Knights turn to get our food, I realize theres no chairs left.

Carlos stands up and moves past me, muttering a quick "excuse me" as he makes a small plate of cut up turkey and a tiny pile of mashed potatoes and casserole for Nathaniel.

Mama Knight taps a finger against her chin when she sees theres no room for me.

"Logan, maybe we can-" but I silently move past her and go into the living room. I know no one is going to get up for me, and move. I sigh and take my plate into the living room, eating and picking at my food slowly, before I rest my head on the window. I watch the rain with a bit of sadness.

I feel a bit sick to my stomach. How can everyone treat me so badly? I can understand that their going to hate me for a while, but what I could've done worse.

Okay, no not really. I could never hurt Kendall...physically.

Does no one remember the incident between James and Carlos? James nearly beat Carlos to death because he was mentally sick for a while. He killed his first child, and abandoned Carlos for a while, before having sex with him again after Dak and him were dating. Then Carlos gave birth to a set of twins that belonged to two different dads. But I've never hurt Kendall like that.

I mean, granted, James has paid his dues and married Carlos, and sure I love the twins, their amazing, but no one treated James as bad as they are to me now.

I turn my head away from everyone so no one can see the tears piling up in my eyes. I pick at my food, stabbing my turkey gently. I set my plate down after a few minutes and sigh, watching the sky darken as it gets later. I still don't move, though, even as everyone begins going around and saying what their thankful for.

"I am very tankful, um for my daddies and my bwother, and my other bwother, and the baby in uncle Ken-dolls tummy, and um grandma and grandpa, and grandma Knight. Oh and I'm tankful for the yummy food I gots to eat!" Veronica smiles, swinging her little legs. I smile to myself as the little four year old giggles. Drake claps and he starts.

"Im tankful for my sister and my baby bwother and my daddy, and my papi, and my daddy Jamie, and um and...and um my toys, and the food, and my family!" I turn and watch Veronica hug her brother and I chuckle.

Nathaniel bangs his fork against his plate.

"Tank you! Tank you!" he screams before he sticks his hand in his mouth and giggles. Carlos smiles and tickles his sons stomach. Nate screams as Carlos tickles him harrier before Carlos leans forward to place a noisy and sloppy kiss on his sons cheek, then he turns and starts to say his thanks.

"Im thankful for my beautiful children, my wonderful husband, my great family, and for having a great career and I'm thankful for our fans."

james smiles and grabs Carlos's hand to kiss it.

"I am thankful for my son, my beautiful daughter and even though he is not related to me by blood, I still count him as my son, I am also grateful for Drake to be a part of our family. I am grateful for getting to wake up every morning to see my beautiful children and husband, and for getting to work at a career I love."

Mama Knight smiles and then her eyes move to me.

"Logan, why don't you tell us what you're thankful for?"

I look from face to face. I see Carlos and James's neutral faces, Veronica and Drakes happy excited faces, and Nates giggling two teeth smile. Katie is ignoring everyone, being at such an awkward age of course she'll act odd.

Dak is frowning and Kendall...Kendall refuses to look at me as he chews and swallows a forkful of mashed potatoes.

I have a sudden idea, but is sort of sarcastic. Its mean, but I guess everyone should get a tasteful of their own medicine. I stand and walk over to the table, holding my plate. I put it in the sink real quick and grab a slice of pie, grabbing a stool from the counter and sitting it next to Mama Knight.

I spot a bottle of wine on the table, along with empty wine glasses for all of us, and I lean over and grab one, filling it before I stand up and hold it.

"I am thankful for many things tonight. I am thankful for the wonderful friends I am so devoted to every day, glad to have so many fun memories with them. I am thankful for my family. I am thankful for getting to wake up and see all these wonderful people everyday. But most of all, I am thankful to be welcoming a beautiful baby into this world soon." Kendalls fork hits his plate and he looks up at me, with flashing eyes. Their filled with pain, anger, sadness, and confusion.

I feel the urge to stop, but I keep going.

"I probably wont get to see them, or hold them, but I'm thankful for knowing I have a beautiful son or daughter coming into the world. Thank you." I sip the wine and sit down, starting to eat my pie with a small smirk on my face. I know what I did was mean, but I had to make my point across.

Dak sits and stares at his plate, and Kendall looks at me with wide eyes that have hurt in them. Veronica and Drake clap for me, to young to know what I did was wrong. Nate giggled and laughs. James puts his hands together and presses his mouth to them as he leans his elbows on the table and Carlos just plays with his desert.

"Well, that was nice, Logan. Anyone else?" I watch as Kendall picks his plate up and leaves the table, and with a bit of heart ache, I can hear him sniffling as he begins to cry. He disappears down the hallway into his bedroom. I earn a glare from Dak as he pushes his chair away and runs after him.

I lift my glass to Dak as he runs away, then I sit there and eat.

I had to make my point across about two things; one, I won't be treated badly anymore. I won't take this disrespect unless they talk to me about and then decide.

And two, I will do everything I can to convince Kendall to drop the adoption and keep my baby.

A/N

Please tell me that was long enough, my fingers ache...

And my new laptop will be back in the mail soon! Yay! I will update from my laptop soon! Sorry it seemed so rushed!

(1) I don't really know how adoption things work


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N**

**So my new laptop is finally here! Thank god! I missed using my laptop to post! **

**I hope you like this update!**

**Kendall's POV**

I rub at my belly, groaning. I'm so fat; i just wish they would get out.

The babies kick and flutter, and I smile and press my hand into the place where I feel one of their feet or hands kick.

"I know, you probably want to get out, huh?" I'm returned with a swift kick and I groan and rub my belly.

"Watch it, sweetheart, that's my bladder." I smile and smooth my hands over my belly as the door opens and I drop my hands, grabbing a magazine and pretending to read as Dak walks in and eyes me suspiciously.

"What were you doing?" I looked up at him, feeling a slight blush come to my cheeks. I gave him a fake, confused look.

"I have no clue what you're talking about." I turn back to the magazine and Dak chuckles, coming over to sit down beside me.

"Uh huh, and you realize that this magazine you're reading is upside down." Dak pushes the magazine away and I sigh, and roll onto my side with difficulty.

"Shut up. Their kicking." I rub my belly and turn away from Dak to rub my eyes as I can feel the tears piling up behind them. Dak grips my shoulder and I look at him.

"Dak..." I whisper, and then he helps me sit up by holding me up under my forearms. He pecks me repeatedly on the lips and I smile a little, but then lie against him. I finger his shirt and sigh, burying my face into his neck.

"Kendall, do you want to keep the babies?" he whispers. I instantly shake my head and bury my face deeper into his neck, trying my hardest not to cry.

"Kendall, you can change your decision on this, you know."

"I know." I muffle. Dak sighs and squeezes me gently.

"So, um can we talk?" he whispers. I look up at him and sniffle, trying to appear unaffected.

"Yeah, why? Whats up?" I watch his eyes go a little dark.

"Look, I want to talk about Logan." I swallow and look away.

"Lets not, okay?"

"No, let's. Why did you let your mom bring him back?"

I lean away and nibble on my thumbnail.

"Look, Dak, it wasn't my decision. When we came down here, my mom promised to take care of all of us, and she can't just shut her door on Logan. Besides, he needed a place to stay."

"He had a place! He decided to be stupid and leave it." I sigh and rub daks knee.

"Look, I don't have any say in it. As soon as this whole thing is over...I'll move in with you. What do you say?" Dak sighs and let's out a big huff of air, before smiling gently. I glance around his apartment and smile.

"Okay. I like the idea of that." he smiles and I press my baby bump into his side, letting the babies kick and flutter against him. He smiles and runs his fingers through my hair.

"I love feeling that." he bends over, letting his fingers drift down my chest then gently slides my shirt up. I blush and look away, but when I look back, I feel my heart beat quicken as he presses his lips to the hard belly of my stomach and kisses downwards.

"...Have you found families for the boys yet?" he whispers. I shake my head and Dak sits back up slowly, pushing my shirt down to caress my cheek as he pulls me onto his lap and turns on the TV.

"Its to hard! No one seems worthy of them." dak snuggles against me and smiles.

"Well...you know...I do have a spare bedroom-"

"No, Dak."

Logan's POV

I sigh and roll out of the guest bed, showering real quick after I realize I have body odor.

I feel so clean and refreshed now, but then I start to wonder if Kendall is back yet. He's been staying with Dak for a few days. I leave the comfort of my bedroom and walk into the living room, finding Mama Knight leaning her head against her elbow on the counter. She looked sad as she stirred her spoon slowly around in her tea.

"Mama Knight?" she looked up and I gave a small gasp. Her eyes were red rimmed and blood shot.

"Oh, Logan. Whats wrong?" I walked forward and hugged her. She hugged me back and I sighed.

"Im sorry, Mama Knight. I'm so sorry I started all this crap."

She sniffles and rubs my arm as she pulls away.

"Dont worry about it, Logan. It's almost over anyway." she pats my back and gives me a reassuring smile.

"Okay, well I'll be fine. Look, why dont you go down to the pool? Have some fun? Its warm today and has stopped raining for once in a while." she smiles, but I knew deep down she wanted to be alone. I left after pulling on my shoes and I went downstairs in the elevator. When the doors dinged open, I sighed and glanced around. I was mainly hiding out in the apartment because I didn't want to face Camille. What she did was wrong and I doubt I'll ever give her...a third chance.

Once I see no sign of the brunette I leave the safety of the elevator and make my way over to the smoothies bar. I plop down on a chair and sigh, putting some dollar bills down and ordering a pink smoothie as someone plops next to me at the bar. I turn and frown when I see Katie sitting next to me, her little eyes glaring at me as she crossed her arms.

"What?"

"I still don't forgive you for what you did to my brother." I sigh and set my smoothie down.

"Look, I know what I did was wrong, and really Im trying to make it up to Kendall, but he won't let me in!"

"I don't blame him." she hisses.

"Okay, Katie, look, Im trying. Kendall wont let me in, he won't talk to me, he doesn't let me know anything anymore. I know I've made mistakes, but Im doing everything I can to convince Kendall to give up the adoption. He just doesn't want to listen."

"You better fix it." then her hand comes out and swats my smoothie, tipping it over so it spills all over my jeans. I cry out and jump up, swatting at the smoothie, splashing it as it dribbles down my jeans and onto the ground. I groan and glare at Katie as she wanders off. That really wasn't necessary!

I groan and start walking back up to the apartment when someone runs into me.

"Oh sorry-Oh, Logan!" I jump back, hoping it wasn't Camille, but my eyes must deceive me.

"J-JO?!" she smiled at me and I swallowed hard.

"What are you doing here?"

"Im on break from my movie for a while! How are you and Kendall? I've heard so many good things lately about you guys." she smiles and I sigh.

"Well, no not really. It's been crappy and all. Kendall and I broke up a while back. We were having a hard time, since he had the cancer and the miscarriage-" I quickly covered my mouth and Jo gave me a weird look.

"Kendall...Kendall was pregnant?"

"Is...is pregnant. He...wasn't really able to carry kids, but shh!" I clamped my hand over her mouth before she could say another word and dragged her to an empty corner and couch, sitting down quickly. I groaned at the sticky feeling from the smoothie, but I ignored it.

"So tell me, what is going on with Kendall?" she whispered, looking delighted.

"Okay, but don't tell anybody. Nobody outside our family, except Camille, knows. And so far she hasn't said a word, thank god."

"Why would Camille tell?" she laughed. I frowned.

"Camille has developed into a god damn slut. She got pregnant and was going to claim it was mine."

Jo covered her mouth in shock and frowned.

"God what a whore! Why did she do that?" I shrugged and Jo sighed, before leaning on her elbows and leaning closer.

"Tell me about the baby and Kendall."

"All I know is he had prostate cancer, and when he took the medicine for it...his body developed a uterus and...then boom! Baby..." I looked down sadly. But Jo didn't seem to notice it.

"Wow...how far along is he?!" she shrieked, but I tugged her down and hissed at her.

"SHHH!" Jo giggled and blushed.

"he's almost done with the pregnancy, but-" she stopped me, again. I'm getting upset because I can't get the full situation out. She doesn't know about Dak and Kendall, and what happened between us.

"Oh my god! Has he had a baby shower yet?"

"Like I said, no one knows-"

"I have to go throw him one! Its a perfect surprise for him and the baby!" she giggled and planted a fat juicy kiss on my cheek, then scurried away, running out the door. I groaned and wiped my cheek, looking down at my damp jeans, before I averted my gaze back up to the empty lobby doors.

Oh, jeez what have I done?

Kendalls POV

I huffed and puffed as I stood on the stairs, Dak laughing at me a level up.

"Come on, Kendall! It's only two flights!" I glared up at him.

"Excuse me, are you carrying three children? I don't think so!" I screeched at him. Dak laughed as I gripped the railing to move up, closer to Dak.

"Why couldn't we have taken the elevator?" I cried.

"You are obviously out of shape, sweetie. Just trying to get rid of all that baby fat before they get here." he chuckles. I give him a genuine glare.

"We're not keeping them, Dak. So I'm sure I can work it all off, just fine." I hiss. Dak eyes flash a small item of sadness, but he keeps his smile and helps me up the last set of stairs as we enter the landing. I smile and lace my fingers with Daks as we walk to 2J. Dak suddenly frowns.

"Hey, wait, I just remembered something I had to tell you that happened earlier. I was in the lobby when I saw J-"

We open the door and I shriek and jump back as Guitar Dude, Carlos, James, the Jennifers, Tyler, and Jo jump out and scream in my face.

"SURPRISE!" I jump back in shock, looking around at everyone as I cover my belly protectively. I stare around.

"W-what? What is going on? J-Jo? Why are you here..." I glance around when I realize there are presents on the table, all decked up in yellow wrapping. The apartment is filled with balloons and yellow party decorations. Then I look up and see the banner that reads,"Congratulations!" and I realize that this is...

A baby shower?

Jo grabbed my hands and jumped around, giggling.

"Im so excited! Did you like it?" my chest starts to hurt as my mom walks out from in the hallway and smiles at me, handing me a small gift bag. My heart thumps hard as I look up at her.

"I guess a little birdie told me about the party...and I'm guessing you're keeping the boys? Because, I saw these today and I..I just had to buy them." she whispers to me. I gingerly reach into the bag, and grasp what's inside with a shaking hand before I lift it out. I cover my mouth to hold back the cry as I lift up two sets of black checkered Vans, one with blue and black, the other with green and black.

I feel tears well up behind my eyes as Jo hands me another bag and smiles.

"We really didn't get a chance to know the genders so I bought this!" I reach inside and touch soft fabric, pulling it out to reveal an adorable dress. It's small, with white with lilac flowers and even has small booties to match. I drop the gifts onto the table as I begin to full out bawl, covering my face shamefully.

"Hey, man you alright?" Guitar Dude looks at me. Everyone seems a bit worried.

"Is it his hormones?" I hear one of the Jennifer's whispers. I sob a bit harder and Dak slowly pushes me into one of the dining room chairs.

"Guys, look, the reason we weren't going to tell anyone was because Kendall is giving the babies up for adoption." Guitar Dude's eyebrows shot up, and the Jennifer's all scoffed.

"And to think we spent money on this baby!"

"Not cool, dude, not cool at all." Guitar Dude shook his head in disapproval. The three Jennifer's all stuck up their noses but I scoffed at them.

"Oh, be quiet! I didn't _ask_ for a baby shower!" They all looked at me with a bit of shock. No matter how annoying they are, I usually just ignore them. I've never shouted before. I turned on Jo about that time.

"How did you even know I was pregnant?"

"Um…" She fiddled with her thumbs as the door opened and Logan rushed in. He stared in shocked around the apartment.

"What in the hell…" Then he turns and frowns at Jo.

"Jo! I told you not to tell anyone!" I stood in a huff, wobbling as I got on my feet to fast.

"YOU told her?! How could you?!"

"It was an accident! I swear! It just came out- and god, Kendall, I'm so sorry!" He cried.

"_Sorry? _You're _sorry?_ _Sorry_ is not going to cut it! It never will! I will NEVER forgive you for anything you've ever done!"

"Kendall, I'm trying, don't you get that?! I'm trying so hard to make it up to you, but you won't ever let me in! You're just continuing to break my heart over and over again, while I'm trying to fix things!" He screamed back.

"I broke YOUR heart? You completely destroyed mine that day you walked out on me! You basically killed me on the inside when you lied! And you know what, I'm sick of hanging back and cleaning up all these messes you've made! I'm tired of your bullshit, Logan! Just STAY THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE, AND I'LL BE FINE WITHOUT YOU!" I screamed at the top of my voice as I stomped away. I didn't even stop to turn and see the hurt look on Logan's face, or watch everyone leave the apartment somberly. The banner fell down as I stomped to my room and slammed the door shut. I was so angry, my whole body was shaking and my fists clenched together,

Then, my whole body froze and pain split through me. I went numb and fell to my knees, feeling them smack against the hard floor. I screamed with a splitting pain went through my abdomen, and then I cried out as a burning sensation filled my body. I sobbed as I tried to stand.

_No, no, please dear god, no. Don't let me die…don't let my babies die…_

I stood on shaking legs and I sobbed as the door busted open. Logan and Dak ran in as heat filled my body, and I felt something wet and warm run down my legs. I looked down and sobbed to see myself standing in a puddle of my own blood.

"Oh, god no! Kendall!" Logan ran towards me, so did Dak after a moment filled with shock. Logan grabbed me and held me. I was grateful for the support for a moment, then I shoved him away.

"Get away!" But, Logan grabbed me again and started leading me towards the door.

"Kendall, youre having a miscarriage! We have to get you to the hospital, quickly!" I tried shoving him away and reaching for Dak, but Logan wouldn't let go.

"Logan, let go of him! Let me take him instead!" Dak yelled as I sobbed harder. Blood was trailing behind me as Logan grabbed some stuff of the table, and shoved them in his pockets, before pushing me.

"Dak, help me! Please!" I sobbed. He grabbed a hold of me and tugged on me, trying to pull me away.

"Logan, let go!"

: No! I'm trying to help him, can't you see?"

"You're making him uncomfortable!" But at that moment, I screamed and doubled over as another contraction or…whatever they would call a miscarriage, hit me and more blood spilt.

"Fuck it, lets go!" Logan screamed as he dragged me down the stairs, my mom and Katie chasing after us.

"Kendall, whats-"

"HE'S MISCARRYING, FOR GOD'S SAKE!" Logan screeched. My mom's eyes widened and she and Katie bolted down the steps.

"Go, get to the hospital! We'll meet you guys after we call the Hartigs and the adoption agent, and Carlos and James!" I nodded and Logan and Dak led me out of the building. 1everyone from the lobby heard me screaming, so a few craned their necks into the stairwell to see what the problem was. I heard someone scream something about blood, and then I was outside, being dragged and shoved into Dak's car. I watched Dak unreluctanctly hop into the driver's seat and began gunning it towards the hospital. Logan cradled me in his arms.

I squirmed and tried to move away from him-succeeding in hurting myself even more as I did- and then I began sobbing and screaming.

"Kendall, hang on! We're almost there! Dak can't you go any faster?!" Logan screamed at Dak as he splayed my body on the seats. I could see blood soaking into the seats and the pain felt like a fire moving through out my whole body. I gently spread my legs as I felt something start to move down. Logan noticed what I was doing and clamped my legs shut.

"Kendall, you might feel the need to push soon, try and refrain from it, okay?" I sqeeuzed my eyes shut as tears leaked down my cheeks, then I shoved Logan away with my leg.

"Get off of me!" I croaked, my throat horse from screaming. Logans eyes looked hurt, but he grabbed hold of me and held me close.

"Not until we get to the hospital." I glanced up at Dak and watched him glare at Logan in the rearview mirror, before he speed along the roads. I became aware we had sirens behind us, and I realized Dak was being chased by cops. I looked out the back window with a whimper and tossed my head back as another contraction hit and I **really** felt the need to push.

"Dak-are we-almost-there?!" I panted. Logan tried holding my hand, but I continued to shove him away from me.

"Almost, sweetheart!" I screamed louder and tried clenching my legs shut as the feeling to push spasmed through my body. I reached for something- anything- to grab. Fingers clenched mine and I tightened my fingers as hard as they would go, biting my lip. I tasted blood and sobbed as Dak raced down the highway. He suddenly stopped and I opened my blurry eyes to see we had pulled into the hospital parking lot, the emergency entrance, to be more exact. Logan immediately jumps out and drags me out gently. My legs wobble and as I attempt to stand. My knees buckle under me and I sag as Dak hops out and three police cars come up behind us.

"Go! Get him inside! I'll deal with them!" Dak screams as he races towards an approaching officer. I reach out towards Dak, not wanting to be left alone with Logan, but Logan starts hauling me towards the entrance.

"We need a wheelchair! Please, help!" Logan screams as my knees sag and I start to fall to the floor. A few nurses spot us and start running towards us, one with a wheelchair. I sit down quickly, relieved from the support, but then I lurch forward, grab my stomach and scream as blood dribble out from under me, splattering against the ground as the nurses pushed me inside.

"What is happening?!" One cries. Logan bites his bottom lip and looks between the nurses and I.

"He's-"

"**I'M HAVING A DAMN MISCARRIAGE! GET ME INSIDE NOW!"** I shrieked. I don't think I can take this pain anymore. The nurses looked at each other in confusion/

Then I watched as one ran away and grabbed a phone on the wall, immediately calling a number. I sat there for a few minutes, screaming at them. I felt dizzy and I figured I was going to puke as Dak raced in. He instantly kneeled beside me and grabbed my hand.

"Why aren't they doing anything?!" I lolled my head to the side to look at him and he gently gasped, before tracing my face.

"Kendall…" he whispered. I blinked slowly, but then everything seemed to fast forward as Dr. Long burst in to the emergency room. She glared around, grabbing the handles and pushing quickly.

"Why in the world hasn't this patient been attended too?!" We went up in an elevator that opened quickly and then I was wheeled into a room.

"Can you stand up long enough to get changed?" I looked at Dak and he grabbed my arm, Logan grabbing the other. They lifted me and helped me undress, and then I slipped on a hospital gown as blood soaked the floor. I lay down, sobbing hard as my legs shook.

"Help…me….please!" I panted. Dr. Long nodded and put an IV needle in my wrist. I watched her set up the bags and I whimpered.

"What are those for?" I asked with a hoarse voice. She sighed and squeezed my hand.

"Antibiotics and another medicine that will slow your labor down. Your water has broken yet, has it?" I shake my head and sniffle as she ruffles my hair and holds my hand.

"Good…but this just means we can't do a C-section now. You weren't supposed to go into labor before December. Which only means…?" She turned to Dak and Logan and crossed her arms. I groaned as I felt more contractions, but they weren't as bad as before because of the medicine.

"One of you guys stressed him out to the point of miscarrying. What happened?"

"I accidentally told about the baby/"Logan mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck in shame. Dr. Long shook her head in disapproval and turned back to me.

"If you feel like something popped, that means your water might have broken. So be aware of what's going in, okay?" I nodded and ten cried out when the contractions started up once more. I let out a small sob as my doctor unreluctantly left the room, tossing me a glance to show me the sad look in her eyes.

**Logan's POV**

_This is my entire fault_.

I wish someone would just yell at me, already. I know it was my fault, because I had to be a huge blabbermouth and tell Jo about the baby, so now everyone knows, AND to make it worse, Kendal is stressed enough to miscarry.

I sit in a chair pressed to the wall, watching Kendall with worried expression. He's straining and sweating badly, the contractions are hitting him even worse. He's paler than ever, almost as if he's glass. I'm terrified.

He leans forward and screams, his legs pulling up and bending as he spasms, then relaxes and sobs.

"It hurts!" He screams. I stand to go to him, but back away as Dak steps forward and holds his hand as Kendall continued to scream.

"I hate this! I hate this! Owww!" He screams. Dak leans down and presses a kiss to Kendall's sweaty forehead.

"I know, but you can't start pushing yet." Kendall tosses his back against the pillow and sobs.

"I want my mom." He sobs, tears spilling off his cheeks. I watch him thrash more, his heart monitor begins to beep uncontrollably, and my heart stops.

But then a nurse dashes in, holding a medicine bag, and she hangs it. Kendall begins to calm down and then she lifts the bed a little, and puts some sort of buckle around his stomach. Kendall whimpers when the nurse leaves and looks at me.

"Why did she-?"

"To calm you down. Thrashing around like that will distress you even more and you'll just go into labor faster." I said quietly.

Kendall whimpered as the glass door slid open and Mama Knight and Katie rushed in. Mama Knight sat next to Kendall quickly, grabbing his hand.

"Shh, its okay, I'm here." Kendall let out small sobs, those little sobs breaking my heart.

"Mom, it hurts, it hurts so bad." She kissed his sweaty forehead and smoothed his hair back.

"I know, but I promise you're almost done."

Kendall's eyes squeezed shut as his mom continued kissing his forehead, smoothing his hair back and whispering to him. He sobbed and cried in pain, but because of the medicine the doctor gave him, he continued go into labor just yet. We were trying to hold it off as long as possible, then get him ready so it won't be…fatal. To him, or the baby.

Carlos bursts in a moment later, and I leave my thoughts to lean over and see James is standing outside with all the kids, a worried expression dotting his face. Carlos holds Kendall's other hand and they press their foreheads together, not as anything but best friends.

"It'll be okay, I promise." Kendall nods as more tears silently fall off his face. He presses his pale, thin face into Carlos's neck and bawls for a moment.

"I w-wasn't supposed to g-go into l-labor…I was going to h-h-have a C-section d-done!" Kendall sobs gently. Mama Knight grips Kendall's hand harder as Katie turns away, tears rolling down her face. Carlos holds Kendall's hand, before pulling him close.

"Its okay, Kendall…We all know you're strong enough to get through this. I did it twice!" Kendall whimpers and lets out a hiccup.

"B-but you're made f-for it…i-I'm not." Carlos kisses the top of Kendall's head, reassuring him as much as a brother can. I wish I could stand by him right now, and be telling him its okay, too. But he's rejected everything I've tried to help with.

I guess I should stop trying. Sometimes, things just aren't meant to be. I hoped one day, Kendall and I could be something big, but I had to be an idiot and not face the fact my lover was bringing something beautiful into the world.

Would he kick me out once he went into labor? Would I ever get to see my child?

Would I ever get another chance to try and prove to Kendall that I really do love him?

I swallowed hard and rubbed at the tears that spilt down my cheeks. I watched James let the kids in, and Veronica darted to Kendall's side. I'm glad she didn't grab his hand, though; I didn't want him to crush her delicate fingers.

"Uncle Ken-doll? What's wrong with you?!" Kendall faked a smile and reached out towards her with a shaky hand to ruffle her hair.

"I'm fine, sweetie…I'm trying to stop the baby from coming out."

"But, why? If the baby is ready to come out, they should come out." Drake whispered, standing by Mama Knight. Mama Knight put a hand over her mouth to stop herself from crying. It was clear that Kendall's state of health was not in favor of us today.

"Because, it'll hurt, bad."

Veronica leaned close and kissed Kendall's cheek, before laying her head on his arm. James set Nathaniel down on Kendall's bed, eyeing him to make sure Kendall didn't spasm and kick his son. Kendall hugged Nate, then Veronica and Drake. He cried as he pulled their little bodies to his, and they all cried back, but not knowing their reason. I watched Kendall grab James's hand and pull him close once he finally set down Nate.

"If anything happens…and Dak, my mom…" He glances at me briefly and I straighten up, wondering what he's about to say about me," or Logan…can't be there…You and Carlos, be the godparents. Please?" James nods and hugs Kendall briefly as Kendall begins to spasm again. Then he lets out a small shriek as he throws his body forward and pain, and we all gasp and look down as water soaks through the sheets, and blood appears.

Kendall doesn't have time left. He's finally gone into labor.

**A/N**

**Ughhhh I hated that I had to stop there, but I figured I'd just update this already, and finish this chapter, and start the harder parts next instead of adding on and making it longer.**

**Well, please tell me if you liked it! And let's get some reviews!**

**But from here on out, I'm asking ALL my readers this question…**

**WHO deserves Kendall more? Dak, OR Logan? Send me your votes in a review!**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N **

**Wow! So you guys really liked my last chapter! I want to say thank you to everyone who reviewed, and voted for who Kendall shall be with! I now know how this will end! Sorry for not updating soon, my internet hasn't been working AT ALL…So I had to bring my computer to school to post, sadly.**

**Also, I want to shout out to Guest user, Moses. Moses, if you ever need someone to speak too, than make an account to PM me, this also goes for all of my readers and fans. I know some people have trouble at home, school, or with friends or family, or their in situations where they really need to talk to someone. Well, I also understand sometimes people are selfish and won't listen.**

**Well, you might not know me well enough, but I promise, if you want to talk to someone, I WILL talk back and help you guys with anything I can that's going on. **

**Okay, so now I'll shut up, because I know people hate my long Authors Notes. Have fun and please review.**

**Logan's POV**

I watched as Kendall screamed and spasmed, and his monitor that was connected to his finger started beeping rapidly. Several nurses ran in, and I watched as they began pushing Carlos and James out, all the kids following them, and Veronica began sobbing. One nurse looked at Dak and me.

"Who's the father?" But Kendall grabbed Dak's hand and shrieked, squeezing his hand hard.

"I am." The nurse looked at Dak and then me before sighing.

"You two need to get into some scrubs, and we have to move him fast." They disconnected the bed in some places and they began moving him, along with his hanging IV bags. Kendall was crying as he grabbed his moms hand and squeezed.

"We'll be waiting for you, okay baby?" he nodded and when they pushed him into the hallway, he basically forced them to stop as he hugged the kids, squeezing them tightly. I stood behind him, watching him in worry as more blood seeped into the blanket. Kendall sobbed and shook in pain, but he continued to hug everyone for as long as the nurses let him.

I realized with sadness that these hugs weren't for comfort, they were goodbye hugs.

The nurses forced Kendall away from the kids and then rushed him down the hall as everyone was moved down to the lobby. I turned at the last moment and spotted two people walking up to Mama Knight. They were tall, and wore professional looking clothes. Slacks, button up shirts. The woman was smaller than the man, and they were talking to Mama Knight about something, but I don't know what.

Then we were pushed into an enclosed room, without a glass sliding door this time, and Kendall was placed into something that made him look like he was going to be in a perverted cowboy straddle movie or something of the sorts. He winced when they had to move him, and they changed his gown and sheets real quick. He laid down and tucked his legs to pull them up and place them on the speculum. He gripped the sheets and begins to cry and sob.

I run over to his side and grab his hand, squeezing it. He opens his eyes and glares at me, before attempting to shove him away.

"Get OUT! I don't need you here!" He shrieked and shoved me away. I stumbled back as Dr. Long rushed in, her clothes covered in scrubs and her long white coat missing. She has her hair tied up and a cap placed on her head, and a face mask is tied behind her ears, and pulled down to her throat. She gently pushes me aside and rushes to Kendall, kneeling down and lifting the small cover on his legs. She sighs and turns to the doctor next to her.

"Get the tools ready, he's going to be ready to start pushing soon." Kendall whimpers and then cries as he grabs the bed railings. His legs begin shaking and he's crying harder than ever as the nurses attach his IV to more bags and items, and I'm shocked when I see them hang a bag of blood.

"What's that for..." my voice trails off as one of the nurses hands me some scrubs and pushes me to the other side of Kendall, giving me a full view of him. He's completely dilated, open and I'm scared when I see large streams of blood spilling out, soaking the bed sheets.

"Hurry up, you two! Kendall needs to start pushing soon!" Dr. Long cries as she tugs her face mask back up and pulls a stool close to Kendall, but then she turns to the nurse.

"Get a cart, just in case, this child's body isn't fit for labor, and the contractions are causing his heart to sped up. We might need the paddles soon." She whispers. Kendall's in too much pain to hear what she said, and he throws his body forward, gripping the bed rests as he screams. His legs shake and wobble badly, and he's trying to keep them separated on the speculum.

"OW! OW! PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!" He shrieks, running his hands down his face in agony. I quickly yank on the scrubs and rush to his side, frowning when I see Dak is doing the exact same thing.

"Kendall, stop! You're stressing yourself out! YOU are causing fetal distress and that's what made you go into labor early!" Dr. Long screams. Kendall cries and tries to lie back, but it's so hard for him. I can see he's in so much pain.

"Nurse! Five milligrams of Nubain!" I glance at her and feel a bit of relief- Nubain is a pain reliever used during labor.

"What is Nubain?!" Dak cries, holding Kendal's hand tightly as they insert a needle into his spine, Dr. Long moving back to give the nurse enough room. Dr. Long then slides back and looks around.

"Okay get ready!" Kendall then grabs my hand. I'm shocked for a moment, but then I lean close and put a hand on his shoulder as he crushes my hand and squeezes his eyes shut. I watch with a sick stomach as blood begins to cover the scrubs the doctor wears. The door opens and another doctor rushes in.

"Dr. Long! I'm here!"

"There's no room for you here, Robert! Get out!" I watch the new doctor as he pulls a tray filled with tools close and sits by Dr. Long.

"And miss an opportunity like this?"

"I said, get out! You're not helping!" she shrieks as she glances between the doctor and Kendall, who screams and arches his back in pain.

"I see the crown!" Kendall gasps and sobs, hanging his head and crushing mine and Dak's hands.

"I can't do this! I can't!" he sobs. My heart throbs hard and I reach under my scrubs and feel the bulge in my pocket. It's wrong for me to do this, and at this time, too, but I need to give Kendall courage…and to rethink his decisions.

I yank out the small bulge and press them into Kendall's hands as he curls his fingers tightly around them by accident. He blinks when he realizes he's not gripping my hand anymore and he opens his shaking palm, blinking his eyes of their tears. He sniffles and stares at the soft, small Vans. He chokes back tears and looks at me.

"Logan…" Then he arches again in pain and I grab his hand, gripping his fist tightly. He shakes and then he shoves me away, but very weakly.

"Go away! I don't need you here! This is your entire fault!"

"I know that! Please, let me help!"

"NO!" But then Kendall arches forward again and he screams again.

"Babies head is out! I see the baby is lying in the posterior position, but that's fine! Keep pushing Kendall, you're doing well!" Kendall nods and glares at me as tears leak out his eyes.

"I'm trying! I can't!"

"You can! Come on, Kendall!" He glares at me harder.

"Shut up! I don't need you!"

"Yes you do! I need to be here for my baby!"

"GET OUT!"

"NO!"

Kendall screams and his head is thrown around as he cries.

"Push, Kendall!" Dr. Long cries. Kendall hangs his head, his sweaty hair matting to his head, his eyes squeezed shut. He's crushing Dak's hand, and I watch Dak wince. Then I grab a hold of Kendall's hand again, but he tries to let go. I cling tighter and lean close as he sweats harder, trying to push and not scream at the same time.

"_Just let me help…" _I whispered. Kendall then complied, and squeezed my hand hard. I groaned at the dull pain of him crushing my bones, but I ignored it and clung gently to him as he shook. Finally he sobbed and shook his head.

"I can't push! I can't! It's not coming out!" Dr. Long looks at us with worry, before turning to Dr. Robert.

"Hand me the forceps." She whispered, then when she got them, she gripped Kendall's knee and pushed it open a bit more. My stomach churned when I saw more blood trickle out. I was terrified when I saw Kendall become paler, if that was possible, and then I took in the change in his appearance that scared me.

His hair was actually dirtier than usual, his face was sunken in and I could see his cheekbones, and it didn't help his eyes had dark circles under him. He was scrawny and sickly looking.

_Oh, God, Kendall what have I done?_

I watched Dr. Long rub his knee and showed Kendall the forceps.

"Kendall, it'll hurt but this is going to help guide your baby's head out. Your hips aren't wide enough to push them out, since you're a male. I'm sorry but it's my only choice." I watched the tong shaped device disappear under the blanket and Kendall raised his head.

"Please…just get it over with-OH!" He cried and squirmed. He leaned his head into Dak's shoulder and squirmed.

"It hurts!"

"I'm sorry, Kendall, this is my only choice." She said. Kendall began bawling again and then with every contraction, he would bear down and try to push harder. We all stood there for a few minutes as the doctor tried to extract the baby. Then, with loud scream and a gush of bodily fluids all over the doctors, the baby falls out and Dr. Long catches them. Kendall lies back and breathes heavily as Dr. Long held up the baby.

"We have your baby boy." She smiled and held the baby up towards me. I let go of Kendall's hand slowly, not noticing as his weak body went limp and he dropped the Vans. I walked forward and watched my son cry, filling tears well up behind my eyes.

"What do you think?" she whispered. I watched my son cry. I smiled.

"He's beautiful."

"Do you want to cut the cord?" I nodded and took the thick scissors and cut the thick cord where they instructed me, too, but I only got a moment to hold my son before Kendall started screaming again, and a nurse took my baby away. I rushed back to Kendall and gripped his hand.

"Kendall? Kendall! What's wrong?!"

"Just get out!" Dak screams. I glare at him.

"You have no say in this! This is MY baby!"

"YOU left YOUR baby! You don't even deserve to be in here!"

"BOYS! **SHUT UP!**" Dr. Long screamed at us as Kendall placed his legs back on the speculum and I watched him in confusion as he bore down again, and I turned my head to the doctor.

"Second crown is out."

"Second? SECOND?!" I turned to Kendall, and I watched him scream and cry and crush our hands harder as he bore down.

"IT'S TWINS?"

"**SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP AND HOLD MY DAMN HAND!" **Kendall shrieked. I was shocked, but held his hand harder as he began crying, tears trickling out under his squeezed eyelids and he grit his teeth. I watched as the second baby came out even more, and I could feel my heart thumping in fear-the blood on the bed was WAY too much. Kendall's life was really at stake here, now, because the blood was nearly two pints worth on the bed, sheets, and doctors arms and scrubs. I spotted it trickling onto the floor from where Kendall's legs were shaking.

The doctor used the forceps again and Kendall squirmed, but this time, he leaned on **my** shoulder for comfort.

"Almost done…almost there…Shoulders are out, sweetheart, give me one big push." Kendall bit his lip and flexed back, bearing down and letting out a cry as the second baby fell into her arms. The baby took a second to cry, and my heart thumped hard at the beautiful sound.

"What is it? What is it?!" I cried, letting go of Kendall's hand to run over and see my second child. I started crying, the small tears gliding down my cheeks when I saw my second beautiful son. Ii held him gently and cut his umbilical cord, snuggling him close as he cried. He slowly opened his eyes a moment later and stared at me, but his eyes were blurry and dark blue and were dilated. His pupils grew and shrunk as they got use to the new world, and I couldn't wait for them to change so we could see what color they were. I hoped they looked like Kendall's beautiful green ones.

I traced his cheek and kissed him, snuggling my wet cheek against his gooey, bloody one.

"Hello, my beautiful baby." I wished I could've done this with my first son, but then the nurse took my second baby again and I was left alone.

"Where are they taking them?!" I cried as Dr. Long moved the speculum and widened it. Kendall sobbed and he was pressed into Dak's side awkwardly as he shook.

"Those nurses are making sure you're babies are healthy and have no problems, since they were born in an unusual way and were premature." She said quickly as she began wiping up some of the blood, but I watched with sadness as more continued spilling, and then Kendall screamed and sat forward. A burst of blood soaked her arms and Dr. Long gasped.

"Damn it! We need Cervidil!" Dr. Long cried. I watched them insert a needle into the IV and Kendall began crying harder.

"Please! HELP ME!" Kendall sobs as he presses his hand down on his belly. I grab Kendall's hand again, and he glares at me, shoving me away.

"Don't you EVER touch me again!"

"Kendall-"

"LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID TO ME!" he shrieks as he spasms again, and I watch the doctor shake her head.

"Kendall! Calm down!" but Kendall shakes his head and bears down, pushing when he spasms and another contraction hits. Dr. Robert just sits there, awkwardly not knowing what to do.

"GET IT OUT!" He cries. The doctor nods and her hands disappear beneath the cover, which is absolutely soaked with blood.

"Kendall, push!"

"I AM!" Kendall grips the bed railing and sobs. The nurses are forced to hold his legs open and Kendall looks like he's in so much more pain then he was about twenty minutes ago, when he delivered the first baby.

"Push harder!"

He bears down harder, his veins popping out as his stress level increases and his blood continues to dribble. They finally connect the blood bag and Kendall's monitor quiets a little, but continues to beep hazardly.

"Kendall, we're going to have to do an episiotomy!"

"W-what is that?!" He cries.

"It's usually a small incision to widen the vagina when the female is pushing the baby, but since you're a male, we're going to have to cut wider and then sew it up." Kendall nods as he tosses his head back as she takes a small scalpel and it disappears under the cover, reappearing with blood on it a moment later. I hold Kendall's hand harder, crushing it as he bears down. Then he's screaming again, and all I can see is puddles of blood as Kendall becomes fainter and fainter.

I see more blood, and then with another gush…

Out slides my third child. I'm shocked as Kendall finally relaxes, after pushing the placenta out, and he lies there. He watches me with half closed eyes as I cut the last umbilical cord, and the doctors begin to pat my child. I'm scared for a second when I realize she's not breathing, then with a loud cough, and a small sound of liquid being dribbled, she cries and bawls as they hurry and wrap her up.

I turn and smile at Kendall, still shocked though.

"Why didn't you tell me you were having triplets?" But Kendall watches the nurse wash our little girl, before he turns and eyes the small Vans he dropped on the floor. Then he turns back to the nurse, who is dressing the baby and wrapping her up as she coughs and cries. His red rimmed eyes are narrowed, and he begins to squirm in anger.

"Where is she going with my baby?" But the nurse has left, and the doctor is squeezing Kendall's knee as he begins to thrash.

"Where is she taking her?!"

"Kendall, we have your sons here, too."

"NO! I want them ALL here! Where is she taking my daughter?!" His thin body shakes and the doctor's eyes widen, as do mine, when we realize Kendall's thrashing is raising his heartbeat.

"Kendall, their taking her to the Hartigs! So they can see her!" Dak cries as he holds onto Kendall's hand. But, Kendall shoves him aside and sits up fully, trying to yank his legs off the speculum.

"BRING HER BACK!" he screams and all the nurses rush to calm him down. I watch one dive for a sedative from the cart, but I know it'll be no use by the time she gets it. Dr. Robert and Dr. Long stand up and try to calm Kendall.

"Kendall! Stop it! You're going to stress your heart and its already beating too fast! You're pumping out more blood!" but Kendall rips at his IV's and I dive for them, trying to reattach them.

"I WANT MY BABY!" he yells.

Kendall tries to throw me off, but then he's jerks and goes limp. His monitor flat lines and I'm pushed aside, feeling my heart clench and my eyes tear up as the doctors rush around.

"GTE THE PADDLES! He's gone into Tachycardia!"

_Kendall's gone into Cardiac Arrest! Oh God!_

"Get those two out of here! And call an OR, we need to remove this uterus** immediately** and start him on testosterone!" Dr. Long screams and Dak and I are shoved towards the door as they begin trying to resuscitate Kendall. My eyes widen in shock as I fully take in the room. There is blood **everywhere.**

The floors, the bed, the equipment, even the walls. I'm terrified as I grab my babies Vans off the floor, glad to see their not affected by the blood, and after the door slams behind us, I watch with sadness as the nurses take my babies to the NICU area of the hospital and the maternity ward.

I squeeze the small Vans in my hands and look down the hall towards the lobby, before I turn to Dak.

"I need to go get my daughter." He glares coldly at me.

"Why? You didn't even want anything to do with her."

"Not at first, I admit. But, Dak…I love her so much. She's my daughter. Please, I need to go get her so if Kendall wakes back up, he's not freaking out again." He frowns and turns away, crossing his arms.

"No one is stopping you." I smile and jog down the hall, hoping Kendall will be better. I squeeze my eyes shut once I reach the elevator, trying to block out the image of all that blood. I'm so scared for Kendall, because no human being can lose that much blood and even stay conscious. I'm surprised how he did it.

Once I reach the lobby, I wipe my eyes and hurry out, looking for Mama Knight and the rest, but first I spot the couple Mama Knight was speaking too, and I gasp when I see their holding my daughter. I sneak close, because they haven't met me yet, so they won't recognize me. I eavesdrop and listen as they coo and bounce the baby.

"She is pre-term, so she'll need smaller clothes-"

"When can we bring her home?" the husband, Mr. Hartig, I presume, cuts the nurse off. The nurse frowns.

"Once the father signs the adoption papers, but really he-"

"Is he awake now? We can call our agent." The nurse frowns deeper.

"ma'am, that little boy just went into cardiac arrest. He might not wake up at all." I watch with sadness as the nurse wipes her eyes and frowns. She must feel sad for Kendall.

"Oh…dear, that's too bad. But, can we still get the father to sign for her?" I feel the anger rise in my chest as the nurse takes back my daughter, but the woman can't seem to let her go. She touches her nose and my daughter begins to scream gently. The woman frowns, but then smiles at what I presume is her husband.

"Listen to that voice! She could be in choir!" I clench my fists as the nurse sighs.

"Ma'am, if the father can't sign, and we can't get the other father to sign, then the agency will not give you permission to take the child." The nurse tries to back up a little to get the woman to stop touching my baby.

"Well, make the damn kid sign the contract. It's his fault he got the other one pregnant, not wearing protection and all, like stupid teens." That did it. I stomp out and glare at her.

"Now, listen here, you _bitch._ I love Kendall, and the only reason I didn't wear a condom was because we were engaged and I never slept with anyone else but him. Besides, he didn't know he was able to get pregnant! So why don't you just shut up and keep your damn snotty comments to yourself!"

She looks shocked but then grows angry. She jabs me in the chest, gasping when she sees how much blood I'm covered in.

"And who are YOU?"

"I am the father of that little girl you're trying to adopt! But, you know what? You don't deserve something as beautiful and wonderful as her! You're so selfish for a baby, you don't even care that Kendall might not make it through the night! All you care about is yourselves!' I yell, glaring between the two shocked adults.

"Well, let me tell you something, if Kendall DOESN'T make it through the night, you will _NEVER_ have my daughter or any of my sons. I _WILL_ make sure of it." I seethe.

Then with a bit of anger, I turn and march away, feeling my anger rise more and more, as does my panic, when I realize I have to stop this adoption and make Kendall change his mind.

If Kendall even makes it through the next hour, that is.

**How was that?! I tried so hard to make the scene as long as possible. OOOHHH Drama with the Hartigs and Logan!**

**You'll get to see what the babies look like the next chapter! And names! Have fun and please review for me!**

**FAQ.**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N**

**Hi guys! Sorry I didn't update as soon as I really wanted to. Ive had some stuff going on (school, softball, guitar,etc.) and ive had this CRAZYYYY obsession with The Slenderman lately. **

**So thank that faceless dudes ass for taking up all my interest lately XD (on the inside: Oh dear god Slendy don't kill me…)**

**Well anyways, heres the next chapter!**

**Logans POV**

I stomped away from the Hartig family, never feeling so angry before in my life. That woman, how could Kendall have chosen _her?_

She was plain out right bitchy and self-obsessed with my daughter. She couldn't wait to have my daughter all to herself, and I still couldn't believe how heartless she was when we tried to tell her Kendall might be dying.

I stopped suddenly as tears trickled down my cheeks. My bottom lip quivered, threatening to let out a million sobs, but I bit it and held them in as I sat down on a nearby bench. My heart thumped slow and painfully in my chest, making me clutch it.

Kendall hated me. He absolutely hated me. He might die today filled with nothing but hatred for me, and I did was want to show him I truly did love him, and that I will work for my kids to stay with us. I just want Kendall back in my life, and all of our three kids along with it.

I squeeze my chest again and let out a small whimper by accident, then I sniffle and rub my runny nose. I admit, I feel like a little kid just sitting here by myself crying. I don't know what to do, and at the moment, I'm terrified of what might happen next.

After pulling myself together, I stood and left, hurrying up to the OR observation rooms, looking around until I spotted Kendalls. I walked in, but stopped and watched, in confusion may I add, as Steve pulled Dak into a huge hug.

Wait, when the hell did Steve get here?

Steve's expression looked tired, and he looked like he came here in a rush, which he probably did once he heard Kendall went into labor.

"I-I-I just don't know what I'll do, Steve! What if I lose him?" Dak sobbed, fisting Steves rumpled shirt in his hands.

"He loves you, Dak. Even if he died today, there is no doubt in my mind that he wouldn't be thinking about you all the time." Steve's eyes went a little astray and I realized its because Steve was, well, sad. He hugged Dak closer, making Dak look up at him.

"Steve, im so confused right now. Im terrified a-and messed up so badly." Dak sat down and began crying as Steve lifted him to his feet and wrapped him in his strong arms, before planting a kiss on his forehead. Dak blushed a deep red.

"Steve-"

"it's late, I know. I'm so sorry Dak. I should've been the one there, to be comforting you during all those heartbreaks. I really wanted to ask you out, but then the drama with Camille made me think I wouldn't stand a chance to have someone as great as you. I regret going to her, when I should've gone to you. I'm so sorry, Dak!" Steve buried his face into Daks scrubs and sobbed, Dak shocked for a moment before he hugged Steve back, caressing his skin and running his fingers through Steve's hair soothingly.

"It…It's okay. I forgive you." Steve looked up at him and sniffled, before leaning close, but Dak looked away.

"Kendall…" He whispered. Steve pulled his chin back and I watched as they stared into each others eyes.

"I know. But, please, let me do this. Even if its just once." Dak let out a tear and a whimper came out before he smashed his lips with Steve. It wasn't angry, or upset in anyway. It wasn't hot either. It was passionate and I could see they had really fallen for one another. But then steve pulled away and turned to leave, hanging his head and ignoring me.

But Dak eyed me as I went and stood by the OR window, watching the doctors work and scurry around Kendalls open body.

"How much of that did you see?" Dak asked me softly.

We both stood at the window, watching at that moment.

"Almost all of it. " I replied back softly. Dak gave a small sigh and crossed his arms.

"When he heard about kendall being in labor, he came to the hospital to congratulate everyone, but then I told him what happened and he was just…comforting me."

"Oh yeah, looked like a great deal of comforting there."

Dak's head whipped to look at me.

"don't tell Kendall…please? It was once a-and Steve used to be my biggest crush before I-"

"Fell for Kendall?" I answered grimly. I listened to Dak swallow hard.

"Well, yeah, basically. Steve was with Camille and he was sleeping around with her and it hurt me that he was doing that but then...I don't know. I just looked at Kendall in a different way."

"Kendall was your rebound guy?" I gave him a small glare as he quickly shook his head.

"No,no,no! He wasn't, I swear! I just started looking at him in a different light and I sort of fell for him. I didn't even know he was pregnant at the time it happened though. And come on, Logan…we've all been through so much these past few years and its starting to take a toll on all of us. With me, its my career, my son, and so many break ups from people like Jett, to people like Steve, and maybe even more."

I sighed and hung my head, because he was right. It feels like nothing but drama has begun surfacing in our family. I looked down through the glass window and gently pressed a hand to the glass, watching Kendalls form as they performed work on his heart and had his stomach open, removing his womb so the estrogen wont affect him anymore and make him ill.

I could only hope for the best of luck right now, because if I lose Kendall, I think I'll lose some part of myself that I cant ever get back.

I turned to Dak, gave him a long hard serious look before I left the OR observation room.

I handed a nurse my bloody scrubs, and she took them to have them washed as I continued my way through the maternity ward. It was different than the other wings of the hospital, but it was just for precaution of the pregnant mothers and newborns so no one gets sick.

I stopped in front of the nursery and watched all the newborns squirm a little and begin crying. They were all so small, and adorable, with little hats and the tiniest diapers ive ever seen. I sighed ad I placed my forehead against the glass and let out some tears.

"Sir?" a hand was placed on my shoulder and I jumped slightly, before turning to face the nurse.

"Yes?"

"Are you alright? You seemed…" I watched her pretty green eyes take in my tear stained face. Oh, those eyes were nothing like Kendalls, but the green made me cringe a little.

"Sad?" I whispered.

"Yes…are you looking for your baby?" I nodded and turned to look at her again.

"I didn't get a chance to meet my daughter." I whispered. The nurse smiled at me.

"okay whats her name?" I shook my head, watching her frown again.

"I didn't get a chance to name her, or my two sons. We had triplets." I shrugged and watched the nurse make an "oohh" sound.

"The newborn triplets, from Kendall Knight? Those babies were in the NICU, and then they were moved to the pre-mature nursery. Come on, I'll show you."

She led me away from the from the first nursery, down another hallway. I walked into the new hallway, and spotted the new nursery. It was filled with tiny, skinny, and pink babies of all sizes and I saw one that was about as big as my hand in a womans arms as she rocked the baby.

Then I realized the baby wasn't alive, it was dead.

I gave a whimper and walked past the woman, giving her a sympathetic look, letting her know I felt her pain. She gave me a small sad smile before pressing a kiss to her child's head and wrapping it up in a blanket.

I continued following the nurse, until we reached another room, and I gasped when I saw my three babies, resting each in their own small stand. I rubbed the head on one of my sons, watching him squirm a little and then sleep again. I smiled, and leaned close as I stared at his right shoulder. It had a tiny birthmark on it, almost shaped like a **K** if you looked at it in the right angle. It wasn't exactly noticeable, but it was a bit darker compared to his pale, pink skin.

I walked over to my other son, smiling, before I checked his right shoulder. Then I checked his left. I gaped a little when I saw an almost **L **like shape on his shoulder. That amazed me to no end.

I walked over to my daughter and gave a small sigh, leaning over to kiss her head.

"Welcome to the world, beautiful." I whispered, before I looked at the nurse.

"C-can I hold her?" the nurse smiled and walked over to gently lift her, supporting her head and placed my small baby into my arms. I held her small, warm body gently as she squirmed and then yawned, opening her eyes to look at me.

I was shocked when I saw her eyes were the beautiful color of green. They were pale right now, but I knew they would darken later. She had fuzzy brown hair, just like her brothers. I wouldn't be surprised if they had green eyes,too.

I lifted her up gently and kissed her, holding her head and body against my shoulder as I rubbed her back. I looked down at her smooth back, before I inspected closer and then I started laughing, then crying as a tear ran down my cheek as I caressed the tiny, birthmark on the back of her hip.

I moved my finger as the nurse moved forward to inspect the little heart-shaped birthmark.

I left not to long after that, letting my babies sleep again.

I was hungry, and tired, and when I checked my phone for the time it was about 11 at night. I suddenly remembered everyone was still waiting for news on Kendall and the babies, so I decided to head down to the lobby.

I stepped out of the elevator and walked out, scanning the almost full lobby for my family and friends. I smiled when I saw everyone was still here.

I jogged away from the elevator and over to everyone. Katie sat up from where she had been lying on Mama Knight's lap. James and Carlos perked up from where they sat, James holding his sleeping toddler and Carlos with the twins's heads in his laps.

"Oh, Logan! Gosh, we've been waiting for so long on news!" Mama Knight stood, helping lie back down as she curled up, trying to stay awake.

"How is he? Is he okay?" She gently gripped my shoulders, and before I answered her, I looked at everyones faces.

Carlos held this somber look, as if he was expecting the answer to be sad. James's face held one filled with tense nervousness. Katie looked worried.

I sighed, and shook a little as I started to become upset.

"Kendall couldn't go get a C-section. He had to push. He was fully dilated as soon as Dak and I got into our scrubs and he started pushing."

"What was the gender?" Katie asked softly. I knelt beside her and brushed her bangs away, smiling a little. She still didn't know it was triplets?

"You are now an aunt to two very beautiful baby boys and a little girl." Her eyes went wide and she smiled. I stood again, but sighed as I turned towards Mama Knight, James and Carlos again.

"But…Kendall had some complications. He had to…be widened more to get the babies out. He…lost so much blood, and when they went to take our daughter away, he started to scream and thrash. We couldn't calm him down and he suffered a heart attack."

Mama Knight gasped and covered her mouth with a hand. I heard whimpers come from Katie, and Carlos struggled to hold his tears back, same for James, who were both trying to prevent waking up their kids.

"Oh god…my baby…" Mama Knight gave a small sob. I pulled her into my arms and squeezed her shoulders.

"He is in surgery now, and last time I went in there, they had closed his chest up and started to remove his uterus. I'm sure hes fine."

Mama Knight laid her head on my shoulder and sniffed. I turned to Carlos and James, giving a small sigh when I took in the appearances of the twins. They looked sad in their sleep, and they squirmed in distress. They sensed something was wrong with their uncle Kendall and they both looked somber about it.

"Maybe you guys should head home. You need the rest." Carlos and James nodded, before they stood, gathering all the kids into their arms. James placed Nate into his small stroller and took one of the twins as Carlos held the other and pushed the stroller out towards the exit.

I watched them leave with a horrible feeling in my gut. I wish they could've stayed, but if they did theyd be stressed and tired with two almost five year olds and an almost two year old being distressed and uncomfortable in the hospital.

I looked at Katie, who had fallen back asleep, a tear running slowly down one of her cheeks. I wiped it away and picked her up to hold her bridal style as we sat down. Mama Knight sat next to me and we leaned on each other for comfort. I waited for Dak to come down here, but he never did.

After a bit of crying and soothing each other, Mama Knight and I fell asleep, her before me. I waited and watched the nurses walk around. Time dragged by, and my body began feeling heavy and sodden with guilt, worry, and sadness as I waited for news on Kendall.

My head finally hung down around 3 Am and I passed out.

I opened my eyes as I felt someone gently shaking my shoulder, and I looked up to see Dr. Long her hair still pulled back into a bun, still wearing scrubs with drying, crusty blood on them.

"Logan?" she whispered. I blinked and looked down, noticing one of the nurses had passed through her and dropped two blankets on us, one for Katie and one for Mama Knight and I.

"Kendall is finally out of surgery and the anestethic has worn off, so he shouldn't be in any pain."

"What time is it?" I whispered back as Mama Knight stirred and finally pulled her head up, blinking blearily at us.

"Its 5:56 in the morning. Logan, Kendall…he lost a lot of blood during the delivery. He's awake…but not."

My eyes widened and I looked at Mama Knight as she bit her lip and looked at me for the answer. I hung my head and sniffled.

"Oh god…god no…" I looked at Dr. Long as she extended to her full height and covered her mouth with a hand in sadness, before pulling it away to sniff and look at the still confused Mama Knight.

"He's in a coma."

**A/N**

**BAHHHHH! COMA?! WHAT AM I DOING?!**

**Review please?**

**FAQ**


	25. Chapter 25

**A/n**

**Sorry this was so short, but I wanted to update SOMETHING at least. It sucks, too, I apologize.**

**So any baby names you guys can think up, please review for me and give me the idea! Thanks!**

**Logans POV**

I sat there, holding Kendalls pale and thin hand as he slept.

I was looking for any movement. A twitch. A yawn. Blinking. Anything that would indicate he was waking up.

Nothing came.

I began to sob into my other hand, wondering how long he might be like this. Because of the blood lost, we all don't know how long it would take for his body to regain all of the important nutrients he lost, even with a hanging blood bag.

I sighed and brushed his bangs out of his eyes, sniffling as his chest rose and fell in his deep slumber.

Kendall was in a small coma, and since it wasn't as deep as most peoples, he could still breathe on his own, but he had tons of monitors watching him every single second the day.

I rubbed his hand with my thumb and hung my head as I sobbed harder, letting the tears dribble off my nose in a parade of weeping. I lost him. I lost the one thing that held us altogether. I lost the one thing that made my life worth waking up for.

I lost the one thing I loved.

A hand rested on my shoulder and I sniffled, to look up at Dr. Long. She had finally changed out of her dirty scrubs and looked refreshed in her clean clothes. She sat beside me, pulling one leg up in a lazy sort of pose, but I could see she was tense and she rubbed my shoulder.

"he'll wake up, I promise." I rubbed my nose on my sleeve.

"But when?"

She sighed and brushed her fingers through her long blonde hair.

"I honestly don't know. We just have to wait." She sat there for a few minutes more and I trembled, before turning to her.

"What kind of doctor are you?" She smiled but didn't look at me.

"The best kind, Logan." I chuckled a little before I turned and looked back at Kendall. I leaned forward to pass my fingers over his forehead, moving his bangs again, before my fingers flitted down to rub at his cheekbones.

"Hes so thin." I said softly.

"We've hung some bags to help deal with the dehydration and malnutrition. The babies acted like parasites to his body, and took most of his water and food. Its why hes so thin now, and doesn't have that much baby fat, and why more blood came out then amniotic fliud."

I looked at her in surprise, before I pulled a sad frown.

"I didn't know that…" I whispered. She leaned forward to fix his bedsheets before she stood.

"I'll bring in a cot for you later, but you cant stay all night again. I'm sorry but its hospital regulations." She said quietly. I nodded and turned to look at Mama Knight and Katie, who had cried themselves back to sleep. I ran my fingers through my hair and looked up at Dr. Long.

"Bring a cot for them. I'll be fine." She nodded as I stood and rubbed my face out of its sleepiness.

"Is it okay if I can go see my babies again?" She nodded and I walked past her, walking over to the elevators. I felt like if I didn't distract myself from the fact Kendall is lying on a bed, possibly never going to wake up, I felt like I was going to break down over and over again.

I pressed the button for the fifth floor and the doors slid shut slowly.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

With permission from the same nurse as yesterday, I was allowed to sit in a rocking chair with one of my babies at a time and rock them gently to sleep after she showed me how to bottle feed them.

I started with my first son, the one with the **L** shaped birthmark. I traced his cute little cheeks as I rocked slowly back and forth, holding him in my arms in a soft yellow blanket. He started nodding off, then he opened his eyes again before nodding off.

He had pale green eyes, just like his sister, and the same fuzzy brown hair. He didn't look much like Kendall and I at this stage of his life, but I knew in a few years he would. I rubbed his little head underneath his cap before I kissed him and stood slowly. I was **very** careful handling my babies, and I knew they needed special care.

After settling the first son in, I kissed my second one, who was already fed and sleeping.

Name. I need names for them.

But I didn't want to just name them real quick. I wanted their names to be thought over with Kendall, and discussed. But, the nurses said if Kendall didn't wake up after a week, then I would have to fill in the name part of the half-done birth certificates.

I brushed the hair lightly away on my daughters face before I kissed her,too. She wasn't fed, but she was sleeping already. I wish she was awake, so I could've rocked her to bed,too.

I sighed as I leaned over and let my finger hover above her belly as I supported myself on her bed. I watched her eyes flutter as she moved around just a bit. I began crying once more, my tears rolling down my face in silence, but I quickly wiped them away before they landed on my daughter.

Someone began rubbing my back and I turned to see the nurse rubbing my back as I cried harder.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

I opened my eyes and blinked a few times as I stared at the tiled ceiling of the hospital room.

I blinked a few times and yawned, sitting up slowly. I rubbed my eyes and looked around, finding myself in Kendalls room again. I was sleeping on the cot, but no one except Kendall and I were in here.

My phone beeped a little and I opened it to find a message from Mama Knight.

**From: Mrs. K**

**Took Katie and went home. Will bring food and clothes for you. Please keep me updated on Kendall.**

I quickly sent a text back, glancing up at Kendall.

**To: Mrs. K**

**Okay, I will.**

I sent the message and yawned, wanting to curl back up and fall asleep, but I stood, stretching before I walked over to Kendalls bed. I kissed Kendall on the cheek and let out a tear as I lowered the bed railing and sat beside him, curling into his side. He was chilly, and twitched every once in a while. I sniffled and watched his twitches, before I watched his hand move a little and then the monitor beeped. I stifled and sat up, looking at the monitor, before I turned to yell for a nurse.

"No point, he's been twitching every now and then, so don't worry about it." I jumped as I turned to see Dak curled up into a chair in the corner of the room. He had changed his clothes and I noticed his face was tear-stained.

"O-okay." I swallowed hard as I curled back up on the bed.

"When did Mama Knight leave?"

"About an hour ago. She went home to sleep and rest." I nodded as I rested my head against Kendalls shoulder.

"Have James and Carlos come back yet?" He shook his head.

"They texted me and said they were going to stay home a day, settle their nerves and help their kids catch up on their rest." I nodded again and sighed, closing my eyes to doze off again. I wish I could just lie next to Kendall and sleep with him the rest of our lives.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

I whimpered and trailed my hand down my daughters face, watching her cross eyed pupils focus for a moment and stare at me. I tucked my face into the crook of her neck and smiled, kissing her cheek.

"I love you…all of you." She laughed a little, and even though my spirit was low, the laugh made me smile. I set her back down, turning on the little noise maker they had for her, setting it into a heartbeat sound before I watched her fall back asleep.

I turned and saw one of my sons sleeping, but the other was staring at the teddy bear shaped stain on the ceiling. I smiled and tickled his belly, making him laugh before I kissed his cheek. He yawned and blinked a few times before his fists curled and he fell asleep.

I stood there and watched all of my babies, watching them curl their fists, twitch, squirm and sleep. I still cant think up any names yet, and im worried we wont have any names for them by the time Kendall wakes up.

"I promise, I will take care of you." I whispered before I left the nursery once more. I didn't have much time left with them anyway, the nursery visiting hours are over in a few minutes.

I walked down the hall, stuffing my hands into the pockets of my jacket that Mama Knight had brought last night. I haven't left the hospital in almost four days and I'm not going to leave until Kendall wakes up, or until my week is up and I have to take the babies home.

I walk out of the elevator and look up, frowning and feeling my blood boil as the Hartigs stood in front of Kendalls room, with a woman in a suit.

A adoption agent.

I frown and walked past them, but Mrs. Hartig grabbed me and pulled me back.

"See? _This_ is the father of the kid! Can't HE sign the papers?!" She cried. I glared at her and yanked my arm out of her grip.

"You will _never_ have my daughter! I refuse to sign those papers, and you cant force me!" Mrs. Hartig glared at me, before she looked at her husband.

"Do something!" He gaped and then shrugged.

"ugh, do I have to do everything myself?!" she yanked out her cellphone.

"Im calling the news and telling them unless you sign the papers!" I glared at her and gritted my teeth.

"_Go ahead! I don't care!"_ I shrieked before I turned to the agent.

"I will _nev_e_r_ those papers!" I turned towards the room as Mama Knight threw it open.

"Logan! Come in here quickly!" she looked between all of us in confusion before blinking and grabbing me.

"Kendall is waking up!"

"HE IS?!" I darted towards his bed as Dak and I gabbed both his hands. I eyed Dak.

"_Hes mine." _I hissed.

"_No he loves me!"_ Dak hissed. We both sat there as Kendall stirred and I felt tears coming to my eyes as Dr. Long rushed in.

"hes waking up?" I nodded as joyful tears dribbled off my cheeks. Kendalls eyes opened and he blinked a few times before looking up at me blearily.

"Kendall? Kendall, its us!" Dak cried. I smiled as Kendall looked at him but then turned back to me.

"_Logan..."_


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N**

"_**And here we…go."**_

_**~Joker**_, **The Dark Knight**

**So I was going to update last night (like what 1 fuckin' Am?) but fanfiction was being a stupid fuck-tard and not letting me log on, or even reach the website because too many **_**other**_** fucktards were probably looking up some M-rated bitchin' awesome stories like mine to jerk off too. (seriously who is awake at 1Am and has nothing to do so they just surf the web looking at naughty stories?)**

**Oh yeah, that's right, I do that all the time…T_T *****Awkwardness of being forever alone with nothing but smutty stories of my fantasies is now evident***

**Well ,so yeah, can you guys tell im pissed? Because,if not, then please, just go sit in a dark corner for a while and think about your life…**

**So, Im irritated and it doesn't help I pulled a muscle in my back, so now im on bedrest. FML. Oh, well more time for more updates I guess. ~bangs head against hall~**

**Kendalls' POV**

When I first opened my eyes, everything was blurry and distorted. I couldn't see anything but white…all white.

_Am I dead?_

Then something large and dark came into view and I shut my eyes, because they were feeling heavy. I blinked slowly, once or twice, I cant seem to remember, then I slowly opened my eyes as my hearing started to return. It was slow, and heavy set, everything coming back slowly. Another figure appeared in my view and another on the other side of me. I felt something grip my hands very hard as the figure on my left came into view.

Chocolate eyes, brunette hair, pale skin.

I blinked and felt a tiny, uncontrollable smile come onto my face and I let out a hoarse whisper.

"_Logan..."_ Logan smiled at me, but then I remembered. Remembered _everything._

I gently pushed him away, but then looked at Dak. He smiled at me, too, but I pushed him away, also. The hurt was evident on their faces, but I looked past them, and tot my mom.

"_m-mom. Mom."_ I croaked again, and I watched my mom avert her gaze from whoever she was looking at, with a worried expression may I add, and turn to me. She hurried past Logan, shoving him aside gently, giving me a good view of who my mom had been arguing with, to see it was a woman in the suit, and the Hartigs.

She rushed to my side and grabbed the hand that Logan had abandoned.

"Oh, thank goodness, sweetheart, you're awake! How are you feeling?" I nodded slowly.

"Fine. Little nauseous." She kissed my forehead as Katie rushed to my side.

"Kendall! You're up!" I laughed and ruffled her hair.

"Kendall, someone is h-" My mom was shoved aside as Mrs. Hartig stood by my bed.

"Finally, you're awake. Look, we have the agent here-" I frowned at her.

"Do NOT shove my mom, again." She paused for a moment, mouth open like a fish, before she cleared her throat and continued, letting the adoption agent come forward, moving Katie aside.

"Like, I was saying, the agent-"

"Don't shove my sister, either!" I glared at her and Mr. Hartig became startled behind his wife, who went a little pale.

"Please, please, Kendall, just sign the papers. We've been waiting for you to wake up so we could take our daughter home." I slowly sat up and frowned even deeper as I gave Mrs. Hartig a cold glare.

"She is NOT your daughter. Not yet, any how. She is still mine, even if I give her to you. She will always be mine. I love my daughter, and my sons. I love them all." I turned to my mom, and leaned over to grab her hand, but instead I let out a small shriek as I did. Dr. Long appeared behind Mr. Hartig, along with a nurse as my monitors went off, signaling my blood pressure had risen.

She slowly moved everyone aside, before pushing them out of my room for a moment as she checked my monitors, and the nurse adjusted my bedsheets, and then closed the blinds to change my catheter. It uncomfortable, but I had to do it.

Once that wase done, Dr. Long made me slowly lie all the way back and she checked my stomach, which to my surprise, had huge stitches up and down it, in two different places. I whimpered and looked at her.

"W-what are these from?"

"From the surgery we had to perform on your heart, and to remove your uterus so no more complications with your body happens. After a bit of bed rest, along with some medications I'll have you set up on, your body should return to its normal healthy self." I sighed and touched my heart, suddenly feeling an overwhelming sense of dread fill my gut.

"What happened to my heart? Will it always mess up?" she shook her head and I felt relieved.

"No, it should be fine, but im going to give you some prescription medicine for a while." She slowly sat me up, so I wouldn't rip my stitches, and checked my eyes and ears. Then she checked my heart, making sure it was beating correctly, and then my lungs. I smiled when she was done, and then she ruffled my hair.

"Everything seems fine. You've been asleep for nearly four days, so we were all a bit worried you had lost a bit too much blood, or your heart was affected too much by the surgery." She smiled and patted my shoulder gently.

"Okay, so do you want me to let them all back in again?" I sighed and looked towards the covered window.

"Yeah, might as well get all this drama over with."

She sighed and nodded.

"Alright, well if it gets too much for you, just press the call button and ask the nurse to escort everyone out., okay?" I nodded and she hugged me, before leaving with the nurses. A moment later, everyone rushed back in.

"Kendall, can we talk about this _now?_" Mrs. Hartig emphasized with a huff. I sighed as the adoption agent pushed the papers into my hands. I looked at the nurse, who stood by the door.

"Is there anyway I can see my children?"

"Later, okay?" I nodded and took the pen that Mrs. Hartig shoved into my hands. I took it slowly and shakily, looking down at the contract that I was going to sign.

That's when everything stopped.

My heart, my brain, and time it felt like. I looked around the room, looking from each face. Dak's, filled with nothing but tense nerves and the sadness in his eyes. My moms, her filled with worry and confusion as I sat there, not signing these papers I was willing to sign months ago. Katies, that had nothing but small tears, and its because she would probably never get to meet her niece and nephews.

Logans hurt worst of all. Depression, regret, and nothing but pure sadness, evident with the tears that spilt down his cheeks, was in his eyes. It was etched all over his face that he was holding himself back.

Then, I looked at the Hartigs. Excitement, worry, but more excitement than any expression was clear on their faces, as if it was painted on. But, I felt sick to my stomach. The smiles on their faces seemed almost, well, vile. Like they would kill just for me to sign these papers.

I sighed and slowly pressed the pen to the papers as Logan sprang forward and grabbed my hand, making a large mark on the paper.

"Kendall! Kendall, _please…don't._" he whispered, pressing my hand to his cheek and letting his cold tears wet it. I let him sit there for a moment, before I gently pulled my hand away and looked away from his desperate gaze.

"Kendall, please, I agree, I can see it.. You'll regret this for the rest of your life." Dak whispered as he stepped forward, Mrs. Hartig glared at him.

"Please…please, don't. I can see it in your eyes you don't want to, Kendall. You don't have to do this, please." Logan begged.

"Hush, you stupid boy! Don't you realize what this could do for my life?!" Mrs. Hartig screamed at Logan. My head whipped towards her and I sat forward, grabbing the hand that swung back to hit Logan. She looked at me in surprise as I gritted my teeth.

"Don't you **ever** come near my friends or family, again." I threw the papers at her and she stumbled back in surprise.

"My daughter is **mine.** My decision to give her **and**my sons up was the worst thought and idea I've ever had. You will **never** have her. And if you come near my friends or family again, you **will **_**regret it.**_" I emphasized with gritted teeth. Mrs. Hartig went pale and her mouth hung open a little as I threw her wrist away from me, glaring at her.

"You disrespect my family, my friends, and then threaten to hit one? I don't think you deserve my daughter, or anybodys child. You will _never_ be a good mother." Mrs. Hartig looked at me in shock for a moment before her face curled up and she began bawling. She pushed past her husband as she ran out the door. Mr. Hartig stared after her before turning to me.

"You bastard! Do you know how many disappointments she's been through? How could you just give up on us all of a sudden?!" he yelled at me as he ran after his wife. It was silent for a few minutes after they left, until Logan and Dak collapsed against me.

"Oh, thank God ,Kendall! Thank God!" dak cried. I patted his back as Logan kissed my cheek.

"_Thank you._" He whispered. I pushed both of them away and glared at Logan.

"I didn't do it for **you.**" I hissed. Logan looked hurt for a moment before he smiled widely.

"But still…you kept them." I rolled my eyes, but when I looked into those thick chocolately eyes, I felt my heart race a little. I turned away and looked at my mom.

"How long have you guys been here?"

"A few days!" Katie cried. I chuckled and smiled at my mom.

"Look, go home, get some good rest and good shower, catch a shower. I'll be here when you get back. Dr. Long will release me in a few days."" My mom clapped her hands.

"Can I go out and buy some baby onesies?" She whispered. I nodded and she hugged me, kissing my forehead, and sighing.

"Its been forever since I bought baby clothes, I guess I don't feel like a grandma just yet." I laughed this time and brushed a few gray hairs I spotted behind her ears.

"Thank you, mom. You've been a huge help." My mom smiled, before ushering everybody out of the room, including Logan and Dak. They both looked at me for a moment, and at that moment, I couldn't decide if it was the confused chestnut eyes or the chocolate eyes that made my heart stop.

**XXXXXXXBIGTIMEBABIESLOLXXXXX XX**

After everyone left, the nurse allowed me to get into a wheelchair and wheeled me down to the nursery. I watched all the babies we passed before she pushed me into a different nursery. This one was filled with tinier babies and incubators and more machines. I was a bit nervous, but then she pushed me into a different room and I smiled when I saw all my babies together . A nurse hands me one of the babies, and I smile when I see its one of my sons.

I rub the little, almost **L**-shaped birthmark on his shoulder and smiled,leaning down to kiss him and brush away his brown hair. He opens his eyes and I'm startled to see their a pale shade of green.

Hes so beautiful.

I stand slowly, with the assistance of the nurse who wheeled me in, and I set him down, before I glanced at my other two kids.

They all look completely identical. Except for the birthmarks on my sons shoulder, it's a little hard to tell who is who at the moment.

"Wow, those birthmarks are crazy." The second nurse says as she lifts my crying daughter and shows me a birthmark on her hip. I'm shocked to the very bone when I see its almost shaped like a heart.

I take my daughter from the nurse and she almost instantly quiets she her little fist rubs against her eyes and she blinks sleepily at me. Her eyes are a beautiful shade of pale green also, just like her brothers'. I kiss her and press our foreheads together.

"I will NEVER give you up." I whispered before I kissed her again. She whimpered but fell back asleep in a few moments. I sat down and smiled at her, before I looked at the nurses.

"Can they come to my room and stay with me?"

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

The doctors and nurses allowed me to keep my babies as long as I was allowed to be shown how to feed them and take care of them when they cried or woke up. I basically knew it already, but some things I didn't know I was surprised by. But, I made sure to pay close attention to what they were showing me.

They placed my babies in this small, glasslike cribs on wheels and sat them all around my bed. I rested one of my sons by my side, leaning on my side as he slept, letting his tiny fingers curl around my large one. I brushed my fingers against his tiny **K**-shaped birthmark on his shoulder before I kissed him. I slowly lifted him, supporting his weak head as I settled him into his crib. I put the blankets over him and sighed as I looked at all my babies.

I smiled before I rolled onto my back slowly and dozed, before falling into a deep sleep.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

I was walking back and forth, bouncing one of my sons as I feed him. It was only around 10 Am, but Logan had called me earlier to let me know he was coming in earlier than everybody else, to help me name our kids. I didn't want to be around him alone, but I don't think I cant stand calling my kids, Son #1 and Son #2 for the rest of the week.

I settled my son back into his bed as the door opened and Logan walked in. he gave me a sheepish smile, but I rolled my eyes and climbed back under the covers as he sat down in a chair beside me.

"How do you feel?"

I glared at him coldly.

"im in a hospital, ive been woken up since 3Am this morning and Im hungry. How do you think I feel?" he swallowed hard and looked away.

"Yeah…Sorry. Okay, well, um…." The tension was awkward. I sighed and uncrossed my arms.

"Sorry, logan…my hormones are still a bit off…kinda why I'm on testorone." I gently pulled at my IV and Logan nodded, before he reach into the small backpack he had and produced a book, which clearly said **A thousand baby names **on the front.

"Logan-" I groaned, but he shushed me.

"I'd like to know some things about the names we pick." I ran my fingers through my hair.

"fine, lets start with the boys. Any ideas?" Logan nodded and I watched a small smile appear on his face.

_Oh, jeez…_

"Well…its stupid but do you know their birthmarks? I figured we could go on that." He whispered as he gently rubbed the belly off one of our sons. I watched him smile behind his pacifier and fall asleep again.

"Okay, sure. Name one, has to be an L, I guess." I shrugged. I really sucked at names. Like, horribly. I couldn't even think up a password for my laptop once.

"Well, what names do you like?" He smiled. I swallowed hard and averted his happy gaze.

_Logan, I like the name Logan._

I mentally slapped myself and told my brain to focus.

"Lucas. I like Lucas." I swallowed harder and Logan flipped through the book.

"Lucas means Light." Logan smiled. I nodded and pointed at him.

"Your turn. You chose his middle name this time."

"Lucas…Lucas…Lucas Dominic?" Logan shrugged. I sighed and looked at Lucas.

"Lucas Eric?" I shook my head and Logan frowned.

"Okay, okay, Lucas Owen?" I sighed.

"It might sound good…If he had your last name. Lucas Owen Mitchell." Logan looked surprised.

"Do…do you want them to have my last name?" I shrugged again.

"I just figured my kids might as well have their fathers name."

"I thought you wouldn't want them, too because..." He whispered quietly. We were quiet for a few minutes.

"Lucas Roosevelt Mitchell?" I snorted.

"Wow, are you really going to do the Mitchell weird middle name gameplan?" Logan frowned, but then laughed.

"Hey its not my fault my parents deiced my middle name would be Hortense." We both started laughing, but then wiped our eyes when our daughter whimpered. She whimpered a bit more before falling back asleep.

"Lucas Robert Mitchell?" I suggested. Logan made a face.

"It sounds better with Knight. Lucas Robert Knight." I shook my head.

"Well, whos last name will the kids take?" Logan slowly took my hand and smiled.

"Take yours. I don't mind, really." He looked a bit dishonest about it, but he continued to egg me to make me name them after me.

"Fine. It's Knight." I whispered. Logan sat back, smiling at himself.

"Good, so Lucas Robert Knight it is." I smiled a little, but quickly blushed and looked away as Logan opened the book again.

"This time its my turn to pick first names. K…K…what names begin with K besides Kendall?" he frowned.

"Kendall is an awesome name." I pouted. Logan laughed and poked my cheek, making me turn away and blush deeper red again.

"Kaleb is a nice name." he smiled. I nodded, approving it.

"I like it. Okay, so I choose his middle name. Ummmm…." I stared at the ceiling in thought, and to avoid Logans stare.

"Or we could just make all their initals the same. L.R.K." Logan shrugged. I sighed.

"Up to you." I shook my head.

"I don't like it. Not enough creativity." Logan nodded and then leaned back in his chair.

"Kaleb….Kaleb what does it mean?" Logan quickly flipped back to the K's.

"Faithful. Bold." I nodded and continued staring up in thought.

"Kaleb… For some reason I like the name Edwin. Kaleb Edwin Knight?" Logan snorted.

"And you say My middle names were weird…" I punched him lightly in the shoulder.

"Kaleb Connor Knight?" Logan smiled.

"That one, that one I like right there." He then pulled Kaleb close to him and took his fist in between his fingers and kissed it.

"Hi, Kaleb." Kaleb cooed for a moment before blinking and staring at his fingers again while it sucking his pacifier.

"now, its her turn." Logans eyes lit up.

"Abigail. Lets call her Abigail." I blinked.

"Wow, you came up with that quickly." Logan blushed and looked away.

"I…really like it, okay?" I eyed him.

"Okay, now whats the real reason?" Logan sighed as he gently rubbed Abigails head.

"I had a dream…and don't laugh! But, I had a dream…we had two sons, and a little girl named Abigail and we lived on the beach in this beautiful house and we were married and stuff...Like that would happen." He grumbled.

Ouch, that hurt. I rubbed my chest, where I could actually feel the stinging pain there. I couldn't tell if it was from what Logan said or the surgery as I slowly took his book and tried to find Abigails middle name.

"Abigail means 'fathers joy' how odd." I whispered, before I flipped to a random D page.

"Abigail Danielle Knight?" Logan nodded, but didn't look at me.

"Its pretty, it suits her. Lets keep it." He said softly. We didn't look at each other for a few minutes, before the tension and awkwardness was killing me.

"Logan-" I started, but he beat me to it.

"kendall, I think…I think theres always been some kind of unsettled anger between us."

"What do you mean?" I gently squeaked. Logan sighed.

"Do you remember that night you forced yourself on Carlos?" I hung my head as tears trail down my nose.

"I still feel the guilt, Logan. I still do."

"you didn't just hurt him, but you hurt me, too. You cheated on me with him. Not just once, but you hurt him and me mulitple times by kissing him, touching him, doing things you should've been doing to _me_ in a loving manner instead."

More tears and pain followed after that.

"I gave you everything I could Kendall. I gave you my virginity, my heart, my feelings. Everything you asked for. We've been friends for years, and boyfriends for a few years until now. And even after all that, I did it all over again. I gave you sex and let you back into my heart again, when I shouldn't. I don't regret it, but sometimes I wish we could go back in time and fix that. That anger and bit of hatred never got settled between us, Kendall."

I covered my hands as I began to bawl.

"You hurt _me_ first. _Me, _but I still let you back in, just because I knew I loved you too much to let you go, Kendall. Why wont you let me back in?"

I bawled harder, wetting my hands as I curled up slowly, but Logan didn't stop.

"Did you ever even love me like I loved you,Kendall?" I dropped my hands and cried.

"_Yes!_ I loved you _so much_ and that guilt of _what I did_ will always eat at me, Logan! I'm sorry! I tried to help you, because I just loved you so much! I wanted you to go to medical school, I wanted to get married, I wanted to wait and have kids, but you didn't give me a chance, Logan!" logan seemed shocked but he settled down again.

"After all that happened, Logan, I did hurt you, and I should've groveled at your feet instead of seducing you. I did love you, I loved you so much, I was willing to give up my dream of having kids just so you wouldn't suffer. But even though, I apologized, Logan, you still never apologized to me and realized some part of this is your fault,too."

He stayed quiet as my tears fell rapidly off my face.

"You never gave me a chance, you just left me, Logan. I can't forgive you for walking out on me, like so many people have. You promised me you wouldn't, and yet you did., not like the Logan I once knew. I know this is my fault, I know I hurt you in the past, but this is now. You hurt me so badly, though, because you left me in a time of desperate need for your help. I don't think I can just forget that all, Logan, but I understand now that you still haven't forgotten anything either. I just don't feel like I can let you back in." Logan sighed as I bawled again.

"So this is both of our faults, is what youre basically saying." I nodded as I curled up again. Logan nodded for a moment, before he sighed.

"Well…I guess we just…leave it at that."

And with that, he stood and left, closing the door behind him in a heavy slam that startled Abigail. She began crying, so I hurried and scooped her up before she woke up Lucas, or Kaleb. I snuggled into her cheek as I noticed Logan left his backpack here. I bent down and picked it up, holding her close as I reached in and pulled out the bouquet of roses sitting in it, along with a note that read,

_**Thank you for all you've done. I appreciate it, Kendall. I hope you come home soon, so we can enjoy the company of our newborns.**_

_**I love you. **_

_**XX, Logan.**_

I sat there and slowly cried, burying my face into the whimpering neck of my daughter.

"Oh, Abigail, what have I done?" I whispered.

**A/N **

**Did you like the names? I tried so hard! I'm sorry if you didn't like them, or the ending to this chapter. Will update as soon as possible, since im on fallbreak this week XD**

**PEACE MO'FUCKERS! ~Just kidding I love you guys~**

**REVIEW**

**FAQ**


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N**

**Awww such a sad chapter ending to my last one.**

**Kendall's POV**

My mom came in later that day after I signed the birth certificates. She gave me a bag filled with several different baby onesies, in different colors and patterns.

She sat beside me and smiled.

"I bought some stuff so when the babies come home they already have some things. We can go shopping later on this week." I nodded, but kept my head down as I focused on feeding Abigail. She suckled on the bottle slurping it down. She hasn't been fed since last night, so she's been crying all morning.

Kaleb and Lucas were also on the bed but since I wasn't able to hold them, I had them settled around me, Kaleb resting on my legs, and Lucas on my chest. Abigail was curled into my arm. I sighed, because even though triplets are definitely a lot of work, I'm ready to devout the next 18 years of my life to them.

"Kendall?" I looked up at my mom and saw she was frowning. She slowly took Lucas from off my chest and rocked him as he suckled his pacifier and stared at me.

"Yeah?"

"Did you just hear anything I said?" I sighed.

"No, sorry, mom. I was sort of thinking."

"Hmm, about Logan I'm assuming?" I blushed and took the bottle from Abigail's mouth as she whimpered, before I held her up to place her against my shoulder. I began patting her back, and in a moment she released a good burp, which startled Kaleb. He looked at me and began whimpering, so I held him in one arm and Abigail in the other as I began rocking them.

I curled my hand and pressed it into the little pacifier that Kaleb had spit out. The hospital pacifiers had holes in them so instead we could press our fingers into them to press them into the baby's mouth. They were softer plastic so the baby's gums wouldn't hurt or ache after sucking on the pacifiers for so long.

Kaleb squirmed and began crying as Abigail tried to sleep, so I rocked him a bit more and looked at my mom as Abigail started to slumber in my arm.

"Is it really that obvious?" she nodded.

"Honey, have you guys tried talking to each other?"

"We did earlier." I whispered. My mom sighed and rubbed the top of Lucas's head, before kissing it.

"And what happened? You seem down about it."

'Well…he said…we might never get married, or be together again…We…yelled about some things. Oh, mom, what do I do? I love Logan, I really do, but I also love Dak. I can't decide, and its killing me every day. I can feel literal pain in my chest from it, but I don't know what to do!" Tears ran down my face again and I rocked my kids a bit more, pulling Kaleb up to press my face to his cheek. He whimpered but then curled a little into my face as I cried.

My mom pulled Lucas into one arm and balanced him so he wouldn't fall as she leaned over to rub my back.

"Have you told Logan or Dak how you feel about this?" I shook my head and my mom frowned.

"Well, I think you need to. If you keep all of your emotions bottled up, then nothing good will come out of it, sweetheart." I nodded and kissed my daughter before I laid Kaleb down to put Abigail back into her crib, then I held Kaleb and rocked him as he whimpered. Lucas stared at my mom, before he suckled on his pacifier.

My mom rocked Lucas and then lifted him, helping him sit up and she supported his head as he yawned, his pacifier falling out of his mouth.

"Well, maybe you need to talk to them both tomorrow when you come home." I nodded and smiled at my mom.

"Thank you, mom. I'll try." She kissed my forehead and smiled at me as she helped me hold Lucas and Kaleb.

"You're welcome. I'll come pick you up tomorrow, okay?" I smiled at my mom and rocked my babies as she left.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

I had settled the babies and myself down for a nap for a while, when the door opened and I was shocked to see Logan, Dak, Gustavo, and Kelly run in all at the same time, followed with a few photographers who were rapidly yelling questions and taking pictures.

"OUT! OUT, OUT, OUT!" Gustavo screamed at the top of his voice. A few security guards made the photographers go away, but I could hear chanting and yelling outside. A nurse shut the blinds as Gustavo slammed the door shut.

"Gustavo? Guys, what is going on?!" I cried, as I slowly got out of bed and hurried to pick up my crying son. Lucas whimpered, and I watched Abigail squirmed as I bounced and rocked Kaleb. I stuck my finger in his mouth and glared at everyone.

"Hush! You'll wake the other two!" Logan picked Lucas up to rock him back to bed.

"Someone called and now there are fans and tons of paparazzi outside, trying to get a glimpse of you and the babies!" Kelly cried. I looked at her and gasped.

"Oh, gosh they got pictures! Oh, no!" I looked at my babies.

"I didn't want anyone to see them until I was ready!" I looked at Dak and Logan, feeling my bottom lip tremble.

"Don't worry, Freight Train is downstairs and will deal with everyone that tries to get past." Kelly answered me as Gustavo paced back and forth.

"Don't worry? Don't worry!? DON'T-"I shushed Gustavo and glared at him.

"-Worry? What are we going to do?" I sighed.

"We'll figure it out. My main problem is getting out of this hospital without them seeing me or the kids."

"Griffin thinks it's a good thing for publicity, but I disagree!" Gustavo cried. I sighed and sat down on my bed as I rocked Kaleb back to sleep.

"Gustavo what are we going to do?" Logan cried. Dak looked at him, before turning back to me.

"I guess the only thing we can do- sneak out quietly and stay hidden for a while." Kelly said.

"Which means…?" I huffed, trying to get them to get to the point.

"You'll have to stay in the Palm woods for a while." Dak sighed.

"Oh, greeaatt." I said sarcastically. Gustavo rolled his eyes.

"Hey, it's your fault for getting knocked up!" I glared at Gustavo.

"It's not like I could control it! It wasn't my fault the pills made-"

"But you still could've given them away!" I held my son closer as he suckled on my finger.

"We'll talk to security and hospital staff and get you out of a more secure exit from the hospital instead of a public exit, and we'll have your mom or Carlos and James come and pick you up, sound good?" I lowered my gaze from Kelly's to my sons. I watched him suckle my finger and sighed. I sometimes wished my children wouldn't have to suffer a life like this, filled with photography and paparazzi and all this stupid Hollywood crap. But, it's the price I'll have to pay for their privacy and comfort.

I rubbed his cheek and watched his eyes shutter before he began whimpering and began slumbering. He yawned and made some baby coos before he returned to slumbering. I kissed his forehead and looked up at Kelly.

"Okay, I'll deal with it."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

~**The next day~**

After a quick shower, and three several feedings and burping's, and diaper changes, I finally was able to get dressed and start packing all of my things up. I took the few things my mom had brought here for me, and I shoved them into the diaper bag, before I pulled out a few different onesies and looked at them, then I cracked a smile when I rubbed the names my mom had embroidered into them. She had put _**Abigail, Lucas**_, and _**Kaleb**_ into the onesies. There were a few that were different, but there was only a few of them. The rest of the onesies were unisex ones and all of them what the names embroidered on the right hand side of the chest, so I could dress all the kids in the same onesies, so they matched.

_How cute._

I took three of the same onesies and smiled widely, wondering if my mom did this as a joke, as I decided to put this on my kids.

I started with Abigail, dressing her into the cute little white onesies covered in the same lettering of big block letter, **BTR** all over it. I placed a matching cap on it and placed a pacifier in her mouth, letting her suckle on it as I went to dress her brothers. I had to check real quickly and make sure I was putting the right outfits on my sons.

I sighed when a knock came to the door, wondering if it was the twentieth fan that had managed to sneak up here and get my autograph. I opened the blinds a little, and then smiled when I saw it was just Carlos and James coming to get me. Veronica skipped in, her adorable little pigtails bouncing. I laughed and swooped her up into a hug.

"Hi, baby doll!" She hugged me.

"Uncle Ken-doll! You're okay!" I smiled and set her down as she dashed over to look at Abigail and the boys.

"Are these your babies?" She smiled at me and I nodded.

"Wow! And they were all in your tummy at the same time?" I chuckled, and then turned to James and Carlos.

"Where are Drake and Nate?"

"We left the boys with Mama Knight, Logan and Dak. But, this little butthead decided she needed to come see you." Veronica went red and I hugged her to comfort her.

"Aw, well that's sweet, thank you honey."

"You're welcome, Ken-doll." I smiled at stood slowly, then turned to started placing the kids in the baby carriers Carlos and James had brought. They weren't new, they were actually Drake's, Veronica's, and Nathaniel's I was using.

I placed them all in and buckled, before checking to make sure their caps and mittens were on, so they wouldn't fall off.

"What are those mittens for? Are the babies cold?" I shook my head and looked at the innocent little girl, who was only going to be five in two months.

"It's a little chilly outside, but really, these mittens are to make sure the babies don't scratch themselves."

"And the hats?" I huffed a little but chuckled to myself as I slowly stood once more.

"So they don't get sick. Carlos, can you help me?" Carlos nodded as he picked up Kaleb, or is it Lucas, and started out the door. I picked up Abigail and James held…Kaleb or Lucas, at this point I can't tell the difference. We started down the elevator, but before I could leave, I had to stop at the pharmacy first. Dr. Long met me down there and she smiled at me as I walked over to her.

"Are you here for your medicine?" I nodded and she disappeared in the rows of the pharmacy, and then returned with a white bag not too much later.

"Please read the instructions on each bottle when you get home, and I promise, _these___medicines won't do any complications." She smiled at me, and I set Abigail down for a moment. She stuck out her hand, but I pulled her into a big hug.

"Thank you, for all your help during these hard times with the kids, and my pregnancy. Any other doctor probably would've blown me off and passed me along to the other doctors."

"You're welcome, Kendall. Calm me, any time you need help, okay? Oh, and keep me updated on the kids!" She laughed as she patted my back.

"I will. Thank you." I backed away and took the bag from her, before picking up Abigail and starting after Carlos and James.

"Oh, and Kendall?"

"Yeah?" I turned to look at her.

"Good luck." She winked at me, before turning away and leaving in a whoosh of her long blonde hair and doctor's coat. I smiled to myself before turning and continuing on my way.

_What a wonderful woman._ I thought to myself.

It took a few turns down some hallways after that, but finally we all reached some back exit doors, and James pushed them open. We continued outside, and James hurried to his car that was parked there. I buckled all the babies in, and helped Veronica in when the paparazzi got word of where we were and stormed the car. I shook visibly and jumped in at the last second, thankful the windows were tinted as James hit the pedal and we zoomed off.

I settled into the backseat, leaning across one of the carriers to rub Lucas as he yawned and blinked, and I waited until he finally shut his eyes and turned his head a little to press her cute nose into his fist.

"You said it, pal." I whispered as I yawned myself and let my eyes drift shut, taking a nap on my car ride home, finally.

**A/N**

**Did you like? No?**

**I kind of threw the paparazzi thing in there, so forgive me for not giving out who called them. Maybe I'll say in the next chapter. XD BUT ONLY IF YOU REVIEWWW….**

**SOOOO ANYWAYS… Kendall is going home! YAY! Did you guys think I was too harsh on him and Logan in the last chapter, though? WELL TOO BAD! Get ready for some drama and angst! MWHAHAHAHAHA….**

**~ahem~ sorry its 1AM here…I'm fucking tired as shit. BUT IM HAPPY. And weirded out. BUT STILL IM HAPPY…about….something…personal…MAYBE I WONT BE FOREVER ALONE! Is all I'm going to say…bleh anyways REVIEW or I WILL FIND YOU.**

**FAQ**


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N**

**Wow, so I guess I'm kind of getting close to the end, here! How have you guys liked it? I promise this isn't the **_**last**_** chapter but its close. **

**Logan's POV**

I was pacing back and forth impatiently, waiting for Kendall to get home. I knew about the paparazzi stopping them on their way home, possibly, but I was hoping they wouldn't have any trouble getting home safely.

"Logan, calm down." Dak hissed from his spot on the couch. Drake was curled around his dad, who was lying on the couch. Drake had decided to take a nap while we were all waiting.

"I can't. I already told you about that conversation we had, Dak! I think I hurt his feelings from it. What if nothing is ever the same again?" I looked at Dak and he sighed, rubbing his temples slowly, as not to wake his son.

"Then just leave it alone. _YOU_ were the one who left Kendall."

"And _YOU_ kissed Steve. I wonder what Kendall will think of that?" Dak sat up a little, holding his son, who began whimpering in his sleep.

"_You wouldn't dare."_ He hissed. I looked at him with a malicious smile.

"Oh, maybe I will." Dak laid his son down gently before stalking over to me. I watched his hands clench and unclench. If it wasn't for the fact I was holding Nathaniel, Dak probably would've pummeled me into the floor.

"Why are you trying to tear us up?"

"Because_ YOU'RE_ the reason I can't get back with Kendall! You've convinced him I'm a bad guy, when really all I've done is made some bad choices!" I hissed at him. Nathaniel looked at me and Dak before he started crying. I sighed and ran my hands through his shaggy black hair that hung around his ears, before I adjusted his plaid shirt and made him more comfortable. He didn't stop crying so instead, I pushed his pacifier into his mouth. He stopped, then pulled it out and examined it for a moment, before he put it back in his mouth and suckled it.

"Well, maybe you should think about what you're doing next time." Dak hissed. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Oh, I'm so bad? I'm so bad? I love Kendall, but do you remember what he did to Carlos? How bad he hurt him? Is that a better choice than what I did?" I watched Dak's demeanor lower before he sat down on the couch and pulled his son into his arms. He rocked Drake back and forth, nuzzling his nose into his chestnut brunette hair. Drake whimpered and stuck his thumb into his mouth.

"Look, please, just don't tell Kendall, alright?" I rolled my eyes but gave a small sigh.

"Okay. I promise I won't, but you better not hurt Kendall." I warned. Dak nodded.

"I won't."

The door suddenly opened and we all turned to see Kendall, James and Carlos walk in, three baby carriers all in hand. Veronica walked in behind them all slowly, rubbing her eyes. She went over to the couch, where she climbed up on it and curled into the corner. James smiled and set down one of the carriers to walk over and put a blanket over his daughter, before coming to me and kissing his son.

"How was he?" He questioned before he picked up his son and held him close. Nate giggled behind his pacifier and James blew a raspberry against his face. I smiled and turned to see Kendall and Carlos taking the babies into his room.

"Kendall-"I started after him, but the door slammed shut in my face. I knocked, but only after a few minutes did it open, and Carlos slid out before the door was locked. I jiggled the door knob and sighed.

"Carlos? Carlos?" I trailed after him, but he sort of ignored me. I sighed.

"Carlos, please tell me what's wrong with him." Carlos sighed and turned around, crossing his arms.

"You want to know why he's so upset? Because he came home! He doesn't want to be around you, and I agree with him." Carlos turned back around but I narrowed my eyes at him.

"And _I'M _the one you want to avoid so badly? God, I can't stand this anymore! What did I do to lose your guy's trust so badly? I mean, yes I did leave Kendall, but is it any worse compared to what all of YOU did?!" James, Dak, and Carlos all looked at me in shock. Mama Knight stood in the background, and I watched her eyes go wide. Katie sort of backed out of the room, and we all heard her slam her door and small sobs were heard.

They broke my heart, but I had to make my point clear to everyone. I pointed at Carlos.

"_You_ became a damn slut for James _and_ didn't tell him about the baby!" Carlos's bottom lip quivered and he turned away. I pointed at James.

"_You_ fucking beat Carlos within an inch to his death and then raped him, not once but twice, and not to mention caused Carlos to have superfetation!" I pointed at Dak.

"_You _used Carlos sexually and then let him go when he moved back to Minnesota! Not to mention, you also kissed Steve while Kendall was in the OR."

"And Kendall? Kendall fucking raped, beat and then molested him! I love Kendall and all, but what you guys did compared to what I did, is just despicable. You guys are turning on _me,_ when you should be turning on _yourselves_. I'm done with this shit, I'm done trying. You guys are throwing away our friendships because we all have made some bad choices. We were all supposed to help each other through it, when instead, we're turning on each other."

I shook my head and looked at everyone. James was now sitting at the counter and holding his son on his lap, hiss head hanging. Carlos had tears pooling in his eyes, but he was holding them back, along with holding his bottom lip between his teeth. Dak had just hung his head and buried it in his son's hair, who kept sleeping on, suckling his thumb.

"You know what? I'm sick of this bullshit. I'm done." I turned and left, stepping into the hallway as I heard a tiny, sad voice whisper,

"You kissed Steve?"

Kendall. Damn. I didn't mean for him to hear any of that.

But really, I can't care anymore. I just can't. If I keep thinking that I care about this, then in the end, I'll just be hurt worse than I already am.

I slam my door behind me and collapse on my bed, before glancing around the room and sighing. I need to do something about this once and for all. Its either I stay here for Kendall, or I leave, because there's no point in staying here any longer if I'm not wanted.

I grab my phone and turn it on before I dialed a number and pressed it to my ear, nibbling my bottom lip. This is NOT the best idea; this is actually the WORST idea ever.

"Logan?"

"Hi, dad. Listen, before you say anything, get mom. I have some…**big** news."

**Kendall's POV**

When I finally got home, I went straight to my room. I didn't want to see anybody, or talk to anybody. I just wanted a nap.

I heard Logan as he jiggled the doorknob, but I ignored him and went to work, puffing up and stacking pillows around the triplets so they would be safe. I really need some bassinets or cribs for the triplets so I don't have to share the bed with them and accidentally roll on them.

I climbed into bed, and curled around Abigail as she suckled on her pacifier. I kissed her cheek and started to doze, but grew more angry as I listened to Logan's screaming. I climbed out of bed carefully and marched out as I heard what Logan said.

And to be honest, it shattered my heart in two.

"You kissed Steve?" I whispered at Dak. He looked at me in shock and set his son down before he ran to me and grabbed my hands, but I yanked them away.

"Kendall, please, it was one time!"

"You _kissed_ him, Dak! Why?" I watched Dak's eyes grow cold and sad and his bottom lip trembled.

"K-Kendall, he was- it…he was apologizing for how he acted a-and-"

"Oh what, your tongue just accidentally found its way into his mouth?" I huffed at him, letting my tears fall. I shoved Dak away and he let out a small sob and covered his mouth.

"Kendall, it's not like that- I love you, please believe me!" I shook my head and looked at everyone in the living room, knowing Logan was still hiding in the hall. I hung my head as I backed out.

"I don't think I can trust anyone anymore." I sobbed before I went back into my room and locked the door. I climbed into bed and buried my face into the pillow. I let out a couple of sobs and woke Abby up. She began bawling gently, and her pacifier fell out of her mouth. I held her and rocked her gently before I stuck the pacifier back in her mouth. She suckled on it and then stared at me, her large pale green eyes staring at me intently.

I kissed her forehead as Kaleb began squirming and began sobbing a little in his sleep.

I pressed my forehead to hers as I picked up Kaleb and held them both so Lucas won't wake up, too. He seemed close enough to it, though, so I pushed the pacifiers into their mouths and rocked gently.

"I don't need anyone else, I only need you guys." I whispered in a baby voice. Kaleb and Abigail stopped crying and both looked at me, their pale green eyes focusing and unfocusing for a moment.

"At least you two stopped crying."

Lucas let out a cry and I sighed.

**A/N**

**What is Logan doing?**

**Aw, hell I don't know. XD help me out some guys.**

**So, I'm SOOOO upset… my mom took my phone! And BAKKAAAA I was talking to a good friend who wanted to try a real relationship with me! BAKA FML MOMENT! *sob sob sob* **

**So here's my deal; I have to raise $100 to get it back. (Phone bill+guitar lessons and NO my phone bill is not the reason why it's gotten taken up…)**

**My mom won't let me get a job, or babysit, or do chores, or…basically do anything… for money….My only option is to paint our fence or go stand on a street corner dressed like I'm homeless and grovel for money but that won't last me long T_T**

**So I know I usually make long authors notes, and I sound like an attention whore, but seriously, I need some advice. I can NOT blow it with my friend, he is homeschooled and I never get to see him. Calling on the phone is our only option until we can put something else together. Please, please help me guys. Please?**

**Reviews and story ideas could be nice to! Thanks, hope you enjoyed it!**

**FAQ**


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N**

**okay wow guys thanks for the advice, but I finally got my phone back...dont ask me how I just got it back LOL well anyways heres the next chapter.**

**Kendalls POV**

After a long, long nap, One of the babies began crying again. When I checked what time it was, I gave a groan. The clock read **12:02 AM**.

"Too late for this, sweetie, _way___to late." I groaned as I climbed out of bed. I sleepily scooped up the one that was crying, and stood still for a moment to check and make sure no one else was waking up. When everyone else was quiet, I ventured out into the quiet kitchen and started fixing a bottle of formula. I had to force myself to stay awake by rocking Lucas back and forth. He kept on crying, and I sighed.

"Come on, sweetie, come on. I'm too tired for this."

When Lucas kept on crying, I rocked him a bit faster.

"Lucas, hush, please." I whispered. I was too tired, and to stressed right now to be dealing with my crying son.

"Lucas, please, be quiet. I have your bottle ready now." I took the bottle, and tested it quickly before placing it to his lips. He gently shook his head and continued crying.

"Lucas, please stop!" I huffed. When he didn't, I looked around for someone to help me.

But I was alone.

I began crying as I tried to force my son to eat, but he wouldn't. he continued to cry and sob, but I couldn't get him to eat. He just kept spilling the formula all over his chin and causing a sticky mess. I cried more, and lifted his frail little body to lie him against my shoulder and patted his back, trying to get him to stop.

"Need some help?" I lifted my head as Logan walked in, clad in sweatpants and a wife beater. I glared at him for a moment and pulled Lucas way from him.

"No, I do **not** need _your_ help! I got this! I know how to take care of my son!"

But Logan walked closer and slowly took Lucas from my arms. I didn't protest, but instead let out a small whimper and let him go as I curled up on the couch and cried. I listened to the suckling of my son as he sucked on the bottle.

"You okay?" I curled away from Logan and he huffed.

"Fine act like that." I turned back to him and sniffed, glaring at him.

"Why should I act any other way? You ruin everything you know."

"Me? Its not _my _fault your boyfriend cant be true."

"Yeah, well, you can't exactly say any different, now can you?" he glared at me and placed Lucas back in my arms before he stood up.

"whatever. Im going to bed."

I glared at him and grit my teeth.

"Fine, walk away, just like a fucking coward!" Logan stopped and his shoulders tensed as my mom came out of her room, glaring at both Logan and I.

"Guys, it is NOT the time for this right now. It's way to late. Logan, go to sleep, Kendall feed Kaleb-"

"Lucas." I corrected.

"-Lucas and go back to bed." I sighed and nodded before I lifted Lucas to pat his back. He began crying a little and I sighed and looked towards my mom for help.

"Give him to me." She took him and quickly burped him, making him stop crying.

"Thanks, mom."

"That's what grandmas are for." She sighed. I rubbed my moms shoulder.

"Sorry, mom. Trust me, you don't look like a grandma…yet." She laughed sourly and pushed me towards my bedroom. I sighed and placed Lucas back in his spot on the bed, before crawling into my own spot. I curled around my daughter and kissed her cheek before I fell asleep again.

**Logans POV**

When I heard one of my kids crying, I tried to go help, but instead Kendall pushed me away.

Again.

I want to help him, I do. But all he does is push me away and try to avoid our problems. Sometimes I wish I could just knock some sense into him.

After a restless sleep, I woke up and laid in bed for a while. The apartment was still quiet, so I figured no one was awake yet. I stood and left to catch and shower and get dressed quietly.

But even after I was done with that, no one was awake yet. It was still pretty early when I checked, so I stood quietly and decided to do something stupid.

I snuck into Kendalls room and picked up one of the babies. I checked and saw it was Abigail before I changed her diaper and onesies and placed her into a baby carrier and wrapped a thick blanket around her. I left his bedroom and walked over to door. I decided it would be okay to take a walk through the park, when a small voice behind me stopped me.

"Im telling Kendall." I glanced at Katie and sighed.

"shes my baby, too, Katie." I whispered before I left the apartment.

**Kendalls Pov**

My first intention when I woke up and found my daughter gone was to scream and cry.

But instead, I stood quickly and yanked on some shoes before I darted out of my bedroom, finding Katie sitting in the living room, watching TV.

"where is Logan?!" She looked at me, startled for a moment.

"He went to the park, but Kendall I told him not to!" she cried as I darted past and out the door, slamming it behind me. I ran as fast as I could out to the park, but quickly began to lose energy. I stopped for a moment to catch my breath before I darted into the park once more.

I stopped when I saw Logan sitting on a bench, and he was holding Abigail on his lap as some girls fawned over her. I noticed Logan was a bit tense and he kept squirming away from them, but all I cared about was my daughter.

"You son a bitch! You took her without my permission!" I shrieked as I ran towards him. Logan looked at me, startled and then he quickly stood, holding Abigail close. The girls seem to disappear around him as I grabbed Abigail form him. She began whimpering and I glared at him.

"Why the hell did you think you had the right to bring my daughter down here?" The girls squealed a little but Logan rolled his eyes at them. He grabbed her carrier as he ran after me.

"Kendall, shes _our_ daughter! And I was just taking here on a walk, okay?"

I rolled my own eyes at him and we kept walking back to the PalmWoods.

"Listen, Kendall, please-" He grabbed my arm and I stopped," I know how you feel about me right now. I know we might not work again, but please…at least let me be there for my daughter and sons."

I wiped away the forming tears and looked at Logan, before we sat down on one of the couches in the lobby.

"Logan, I'm sorry. I-" he quickly leaned over and I felt my heart stop as he pecked me on the lips.

"At least think about this…us." He stood and left, disappearing out of the peripheral of my eyes. I let my tears fall and clung to my daughter as I turned to look for him, but Logan was gone.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

I was lying on the floor of the living room, on a huge pallet of cushions and blankets I made, because my mom said I needed to get out of my room, so I did.

But now, I was just to lazy to do anything else but feed my kids and watch TV.

After a while, though, I began to think about the kiss Logan gave me yesterday. I pressed my fingertips to my lips gently and shuddered, before I stood up and walked around the living room. I don't know how I feel about this anymore, to be honest . My hatred for Logan has dwindled away to almost nothing after these last few months.

Somehow, I just cant hate him anymore. Its hard,to, after all of our years together as best friends and then our time as lovers.

I gave a little sigh and picked up Kaleb as he whimpered. I pushed his pacifier into his mouth and bounced him gently as I walked over to the window and looked down. I could see some paparazzi gathering around the PalmWoods, waiting for a glimpse of my babies. But instead, I stayed put in the apartment, like Gustavo said.

I glanced down and felt more heart thumping feelings swell. Everything hurts and everything is confusing me lately.

Steve and Dak were talking but Steve was touching Dak gently. I watched Dak blush and try and push Steve away, but he persisted and finally pecked Dak on the cheek. Dak blushed, pushed him away and left, going into the lobby and leaving my sight.

I sniffled and looked down at my baby. He suckled his pacifier and gave me a small sad look. I traced his cheek and sighed.

"Who needs them? Hell, who needs men?"

"You're a man, sweetie." My mom said from her spot at the counter. I rolled my eyes as I sat down and jiggled my baby on my legs, tickling him.

"Mom, you know what I meant." She chuckled and came over to sit beside me and hold Abigail, leaving Lucas on the pallet as he slept.

"Sure, sure. Gotcha, honey." I sighed as the door opened and I quickly stood up as Dak and Logan walked in, fighting.

"-fuck you then, Dak!"

"Oh really? Is that what Camille said when you-"

"STOP FIGHTING!" I shrieked. They both looked at me and I huffed.

"I don't want you guys fighting around me anymore! I'm so tired of it! Im sitting in here, trying to raise my babies, who haven't even been home a week! You guys aren't helping me at all!" Logan went a little deflated and Dak just looked away.

"Look, either deal with this on your own, or don't come back here at all." I huffed, before I sat back down on the couch. Dak and Logan crossed their arms and glared at each other.

"What are you guys even arguing about, anyway?" I sighed. They turned to me and I looked at my mom to give her a small eye roll that said '_uh-oh drama_'.

"What we were arguing about, Kendall-"

"look, this is our argument that you have to settle. You have to choose." My eyebrows shot up and I turned to look at them both.

"Choose?"

"choose,yes. Me or him." Dak gestured. I looked at them both as another knock on the door started and it opened to reveal something quite shocking.

"Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell?!"

We all sort of sat there in awkward silence as the Mitchells and I took in our situation.

"So, Kendall must choose who he wants to be with." Dak explained. Logan nodded as his parents looked at their grandchildren in awe, and a bit of disgust. They weren't people who exactly respected homosexuals.

"he has to. We cant keep fighting like this, and to be honest, Im sick of fighting over everything and for everything. Nobody here respects me anymore. " Logan hissed.

"We have to get this settled, once and for all." Dak put his hands together and I looked at them both.

"Guys, please this cant-"

"No, Kendall. Its either him, or me. I'm not going to stand around unless you can finally make a choice."

I hung my head and sighed before I stood and looked between both Dak and Logan.

"I choose...neither of you." I whispered, before I turned and went into my room.

I cant make such a rash decision. Not right now.

**A/N**

**Sorry about this chapter. I had such BAD writers block for it! I had to type up something to help me out, though. I cant think up anything, though. So, pitch me some ideas and I'll try and redo this chapter, because seriously, it sucks . Seriously, NEED IDEAS HERE PEOPLE, CHOP CHOP XD**

**Okay, and as you guys now, I had a bad situation going on the other night. Well, I just wanted to keep you guys a little updated on it. So I got my phone back (I don't know how to be honest I just got it handed back)**

**And Im still in touch with this dude I've been talking to, thank god. So, looks like im in the clear! Thanks for the advice on helping with the situation and all, I appreciate it!**

**So, um please review, and give me some ideas so I can maybe redo this chapter and stuff. Thanks.**

**FAQ**


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N**

**Okay sorry I didn't redo the last chapter, but I just didn't have time. I don't have a lot of time lately, so I apologize. I'm trying, I really am. So, hopefully this isn't as crappy as I hope.**

**Logan's POV**

I watched as Kendall stood to leave, but I stood and grabbed his hand, pulling him back.

"Please, Kendall, l-let's talk about this!"

"There's no need to talk, Logan…I didn't choose you OR Dak. I'd rather be alone." He hissed a little. I felt my heart clench and I paused, taking a deep breath before I started, feeling something swell in my throat.

"W-what about the kids? I-"

"Logan, don't worry about them. They don't need you…" my dad hissed a little. Mama Knight was taken back a little and looked at my dad in shock, as I did.

"Robert, you're not going to ban your son from seeing his kid, are you?"

"Honey, there you're grandkids!" my mom whispered. My dad cast her look.

"Sweetheart, these…these kids…their not natural…" he eyed my daughter, whom I reached for. But Kendall swiped her away, before he laid her back down in the pen with her brothers, casting a cold glare at my dad. I knew something bad was about to happen, so I need to fix it.

"Don't touch her." He hissed again. I sighed and shared a sad look with Dak, before turning to my parents. I needed to get through to them. I knew it was a bad idea to call them, but I needed their help. I guess they didn't want to help, though.

I know they don't think my children's birth was normal, but I hoped, maybe just maybe, they would welcome their grandkids.

"Mom, Dad, please, don't be like this. I know you're beliefs and how you feel about this, but I need you to hear me out. I love my kids, but-"I started, but Kendall cut me off.

"You don't need them, and they most certainly don't need _you._" Kendall hissed, sitting on the end of the couch and crossing his arms. Mama Knight looked at him, her jaw open.

"Kendall! Don't be acting like that!" she cried, but Kendall rolled his eyes and turned away. I gave a small sigh and looked at my parents.

"Kendall, the main reason I wanted my parents to come here, was to help me and understand my problem, so that if you didn't agree to have any other deal with me…I would leave and go back to Minnesota." Kendall's head whipped towards me and Mama Knight's face turned into a sad frown.

"But, Logan-"

"No, Mama Knight. If no one wants me here anymore, then I'm going home. I have no other reason to stay here." I said in a quivering voice. My throat was hurting and my Adams apple bobbed a little as I tried to not cry, but it was getting harder with every minute that passed, because Kendall was hanging his head, and completely avoiding my gaze.

"So, it's not up to me. It's up to Kendall." We all turned towards Kendall and he raised his head a little.

"Logan…I just can't-"But he darted away, running into his room and slamming the door. I turned away and felt my throat close and I squeezed my eyes shut as tears ran down my cheeks. I opened my blurry eyes and looked at my parents.

"What time does the plane take off?"

**Kendall's POV**

I couldn't say anything, because I couldn't decide.

I don't know if I want Logan or not anymore. I can't think about this anymore. Our anger towards each other is mixing with our feelings, but I don't want to hurt anymore. I just don't want it to hurt anymore, I don't.

I sob a little and curl up behind the door, curling up, being careful of my stitches, and tucked my head into my shoulder. I let my tears fall and lull me to sleep.

When I woke up, I was groggy and everything was a little dim. I realized it was getting late in the afternoon and I sat up carefully, listening to silence for a few moments, forgetting what was going on until I heard one of my babies begin to cry.

I instantly stood and darted out of my bedroom, scooping up Kaleb and bouncing him gently.

"Mom! Do we have formula?" I turned to see my mom standing in the kitchen, a little blank look on her face.

"Mom, what's wrong?"

"Kendall, how can you be so- wait, Kendall are you okay?" She looked at me with a bit of worry.

"Yeah, I'm fine, why do you ask?"

"Honey…do you remember…what happened three hours ago?" I frowned and shook my head.

"Why what happened?" Her mouth opened a little and she gave me a sad look.

"Sweetheart…you…" But I shook my head and sighed as I rocked Kaleb.

"Mom, I think I need to go talk to Dak. I saw something between him and Steve and I think I need to settle something. I finally know what to do." My mom's eyes were still a little sad as I started to fix the blanket pallet and rearrange my babies. Kaleb squirmed and went back to sleep but Lucas laid there and sucked on his pacifier. Abigail was staring at me, so I kissed her forehead and picked her up, picking up the baby sling Carlos gave me and putting it around myself, putting her in it.

"I'm going to go see if Dak is home. I'll be back mom."

I kissed her cheek, and frowned at her, noticing she was still a little shocked. But I shrugged it off and left the apartment, rocking her gently. I smiled to myself and she suckled on her pacifier, smiling at me a bit as I traveled down to Dak's apartment and knocked on the door. He opened it and I frowned when I saw tear stains.

"Dak, oh my gosh, what happened?" he frowned at me.

"You know what." I frowned and felt confused. I shook my head and bounced Abigail, fixing her cute panda onesie with a matching hat, featuring ears.

"Not…really, jeez what is wrong with everyone, first my mom was looking all weird and now you're acting weird. Look, anyway, can we talk?" he gave a heavy exhale and let me in. I walked in and sat down on his couch, smiling a little and motioning for him to sit next to me. He slowly sat and eyed me a little.

"First, Dak…I want to say I'm sorry." I sighed and nuzzled his shoulder with my cheek. He ran his fingers through my hair as a knock came to the door.

"It's open!" Dak called, and it opened to show Steve as he walked in.

"Dak, can we talk-"he stopped and looked at me.

"Oh, hey, Kendall. Is this a bad time? Look, I'll come back-"

"No, sit, actually this involves you, too." Steve frowned and sat down, looking between Dak and me.

"Okay, Dak, I saw you and Steve the other day, and…well…I'm sorry. Dak, I really do love you, but I see the way you and Steve look at each other and well…" I gave a little sigh," It's nothing like when you look at _me._"

Dak frowned and glanced at me, then Steve, then me again and Abigail.

"Kendall, what exactly are you saying?" he frowned. I gave a little exhale and gave him a small smile.

"I want you guys to be together. I see how you act around each other, and I think you guys deserve a chance to try and be together." Dak and Steve looked at each other once more and Steve smiled a little, leaning over to grasp Dak's hand slowly. He kissed his fingers and Dak blushed but looked back at me.

"Wait, Kendall why did you decide this? What made you change your mind, besides Steve and me?"

"Well…," I looked away and wiped my eyes," Because, I forgave Logan for what he did. What I did in the past doesn't even equal to what he did. I did worse than what he did, times ten."

I glanced at Dak and watched his face fall a little.

"I'm so sorry, Dak, I know I made a promise and I know you hate me so much right now, but after everything I've gone through these past few months…I'm sorry, Dak but I love Logan." I held Abigail close, listening to her whimpers as I cried a little. I felt a hand rubbing my back and I looked up, feeling a little hope swell in my chest when I realize Dak was smiling at me. He leaned close and pecked my cheek, but leaned back into Steve's chest and smiled.

"I don't mind, Kendall…but you didn't break your promise."

I frowned and looked at Abigail, who suckled her pacifier and crossed her eyes.

"But you said-"

"I made you promise you wouldn't break my heart and leave me. You didn't break my heart; you just led me to another love. Thank you." He smiled a little dreamily and I smiled, rocking Abigail. I stood and left, leaving Steve and Dak to whatever they wanted to do.

Now, I just need to find Logan and apologize and explain everything. I opened the apartment door and smiled at my mom, who was nibbling on her thumbnail.

"Hey mom."

"Honey! Where did you go?" I smiled and rocked Abby.

"Well…I let Steve and Dak be together. I knew they had feelings for each other, and I just couldn't let them _not_ be together." My mom's face was a little blank then she laughed a bit and smiled. Then she started rejoicing and hugged me, being careful of Abby.

"Oh my god! So-so you picked Logan?!" I nodded and she clapped her hands, before her face fell.

"Oh my god, Logan! Honey, you don't know what happened did you?" I shook my head.

"No, mom, what happened?"

She took Abby from me quickly, making my daughter drop her pacifier and begin crying.

"I'll take care of her, go! NOW! He's leaving to go back to Minnesota!"

I gasped as I was suddenly hit with it all. I mustve been so upset I blocked what happened out. I can't believe I forgot! I felt my throat clench as I felt sadness creep over me.

"Oh my god! I have to go!"

I darted out the door and was outside in a few minutes, ripping open the car door and diving in, starting it quickly. I backed the Big Time Rush mobile out of its parking space and took off, speeding out of the Palm Woods and heading towards the airport as fast as I could without breaking any laws.

I parked and slammed the door shut quickly as I ran towards the airport. I pushed the revolving doors, trying to will them to go faster. As soon as I got out, I ran towards the counter and shoved some people aside.

"Ma'am!" But the woman held up a finger to stop and shush me.

"You'll have to wait, sir."

"No, please you don't understand, I need the Minnesota airtimes!" She looked at me, but I watched her eyes go wide.

"You're Kendall Knight! Oh my gosh, I LOVE BTR!" I shook my head.

"I don't have time, please, my lover is leaving and he needs to know- look just give me the airtimes!" She looked a little shocked.

"I just wanted an autograph-"but I darted away and ran towards the rime, feeling my heart race when I spotted the times for Minnesota. It was leaving in five minutes!

I ran towards security, ripping my flip flops off and shoving them into a tray along with my cellphones and keys. I pushed through people, ignoring their gasps and the clicks as cameras went off. I waited until I was through, but the man stopped to check me with the hand held detector.

"Okay, sir, we need-"but I grabbed my tray as it exited the machine and shoved past security. Everyone yelled, but I ran past them, swinging my tray as I ran. I looked for the gate, feeling tears well up in my eyes when I began to realize the plane might've already taken off. I felt something pop and I screamed as I doubled over. My stitches had popped a little and I could feel blood begin to soak through my shirt a bit. I sweated a bit and started crying.

I'm a failure. I lost my lover and the father to my kids, and now I can't even get up and push past the pain.

I stood a little, feeling the blood trickle down into my sweatpants as I picked up my tray. I sobbed as people began swarming towards me, snapping photos. But, I don't care. I hung my head, but then looked up when I heard the intercom over the airport say,

**Los Angeles to Minneapolis has been delayed, please withhold passengers loading.**

I sniffed and pushed past some photographers who were throwing questions at me, and I quickly began walking, my head turning back and forth as I looked between the loading gates. I felt a bit more blood soak, but I pushed the pain away when I spotted that adorable little brunette that makes my heart swell. I ran towards him, dropping my tray a few feet away as I sobbed and opened my arms to hug him.

"**LOGAN!"**

He lifted his head from where he'd been texting, and I spotted his bloodshot eyes and tear stained face.

"Kendall?" But I jumped into his arms and sobbed.

"Oh, God, I made a mistake, I'm sorry, yes I agree, and I'm so much worse than you, I'm a shit head, I'm sorry, just please _**DON'T LEAVE ME.**_" I rambled and sobbed. Logan slowly wrapped his arms around me and we pulled apart as we sobbed.

"Kendall, what about Dak?" But I shushed him, pressing our lips together. He dropped his duffel bag and squeezed me in a bone-crushing hug. Cameras clicked around us, but we ignored it as I cried into his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, Logan! I made a mistake by saying no to you! Please, come back with me, please take care of the babies with me, we can buy a house, apartment, you can go to college, we can still sing, but Logan I can't live without you in my life, a-and y children-I-I mean _our_ children, **need** their dad!"

Logan pressed our foreheads together and kissed me gently, pulling back and smiling. I saw his parents frowning behind him, but he pulled my gaze back towards him by rubbing my cheek.

"Don't pay attention to anybody else. Just you and me. I love you, I do. These last few months have been tough on both of us, but I know we can get through it, together. "He whispered as he laced our fingers.

"I love you."

"I love you, too." He whispered. He backed away and tore up his ticket.

"Logan, I thought you wanted to come back to Minnesota?!" his mom asked.

"Sorry, mom, dad…but my kids need me. And Kendall needs me, too. I wouldn't trade them up for anything in the whole world."

"It's true, then? You two had kids?!" a cameraman yelled.

"How many kids?!"

"Are you like Carlos?!"

"How long have you guys been together?!" But Logan and I ignored them as we walked past them. Logan smiled but stopped and picked up his duffel bag and handed me my security tray. I chuckled and rubbed the back of my neck before I took it and smiled at him. We held hands and Logan swung them as we walked through the airport.

But, Logan stopped again and looked down at his wet shirt.

"Kendall…you're bleeding…Oh, my god, you're bleeding!" I suddenly remembered the pain and hissed, looking at Logan.

"Logan, I love you, and I really want to get out of here, _but I really think I need a hospital._" I hissed. He squeezed my hand and nodded, running us towards the exit.

I know I'm bleeding, and I'm probably in some deep shit with Griffin and Gustavo now, but I don't care anymore. I have Logan back, and I am done with all the problems we've had. We've settled everything now, and we can put it all behind us and move on with our babies.

I kiss Logan on the cheek and squeeze his hand as I hold my belly and hold close my popped stitches.

"Don't worry, Kendall, I'll take care of you." Logan whispers as we pile into the BTR mobile, and Logan takes off.

**A/N**

**I tried so hard, sorry. But like I said, I could use some ideas maybe?**

**Ummmm so I'll try and update faster. Love you guys, please review!**

**FAQ**


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N**

**Ehhh that last chapter is iffy on me, but I'm not very good with drama, so hopefully this is better! Thanks for the reviews.**

**Kendall's POV**

It took a few minutes to finally get a bed in the ER, and the nurse pulled the curtain around Logan and me to give us a bit of privacy while I waited for a doctor to attend to me.

I laid on my back, holding some paper towels to my stitches, and groaning in pain from the heat flowing through me as my blood seeped out a little.

Logan squeezed my hand and I opened my eyes to smile at him.

"You were doing okay?"

"Yeah, just hoping that the doctor comes soon to stitch me back up." Logan grimaced a little and leaned his head on his other arm.

"You know how they say laughter is the best medicine?" I nodded and he sighed.

"Well, I'm not sure if it works on stitches." I chuckled a little then stopped when my chest ached. I poked Logan's nose playfully and he smiled.

"You're a dork."

"You're a bigger one."

"No, you are."

"No, you are!" He laughed as we realized how close we had gotten to each other. My heart thumped in my chest as he stood a little, leaning close, his lips moving towards mine-

"Hello, boys." We jumped away as Dr. Long opened the curtain, stepped in and then closed it behind her. She smiled at us and I blushed, feeling my cheeks heat up in embarrassment. Logan sat back down and cleared his throat.

"He, uh, he popped some stitches."

"I can see." She said quietly, taking in my bloody t-shirt and stained sweatpants. She adjusted the bed so I was lying fully down and she pulled up my shirt, inspecting the gooey mess.

"Yuck, looks like they didn't clean it well."

"No, they did, it just kept bleeding, though." I said quietly, chewing my lip as she instructed me to remove my shirt. I sat up slowly and hissed in pain, and Logan was immediately by my side.

"I got you, babe." He said quietly as he removed my t-shirt. I laid back down and Dr. Long pulled a stool close to the bed as she tied her hair back and began rubbing the blood away. I hissed a little in pain before I relaxed a bit and let her rub some medicine on my skin. I shivered when my pain started to go away and I realized my skin was numb, because I couldn't feel the stitches she was pulling in and out of my body. Logan leaned forward, his eyes wide with fascination as he watched the doctor sew me up.

"Are you enjoying this?" I chuckled. Logan blinked and smiled, leaning back and blushing.

Dr. Long pulled away and set her tools down, smiling at me.

"Alright, you're done. Now, tell me how you two got back together, I'm dying to know." She smiled. Logan and I blushed dark red, but I leaned over and grasped his hand, smiling at the doctor.

"It's a really long story, but basically it's one of those dramatic get your lover before they leave kind of story."

"Aww, so sweet! Well, I hope you guys can work it all out. Good luck with everything and the babies, okay?" She ruffled my hair and then kissed Logan's forehead, before turning to leave.

"I'll log you out, just leave at any time, and if you need to, wear some scrubs out, they're in this bottom drawer," She opened a small table," and call me if you need help with anything." The curtain swished close and I smiled at Logan, grabbing his hand and starting to pick myself up slowly.

"Can you please help me up?"

"Yeah, up you go." He helped me stand up slowly and put his hand on my back to support me as I stood. I smiled at him, and leaned close to peck his cheek. Logan blushed as I leaned on him. He helped me pull off my clothes and yank on the scrubs. I didn't want to leave the hospital with bloody clothes on, just in case some photographers were outside.

"Feel better?" I nodded and blushed again when Logan looked me up and down, before he leaned close and embraced me gently, kissing me on the lips fully. I moved my lips against his and smiled to myself, before pulling away and lacing our fingers together.

"We should head home."

"Yeah, good idea." Logan supported me again as we left, wobbling slowly outside. I waved to the nurse who had signed me in, before we exited the back entrance, where our car was still parked.

"Thank god no one yelled at us to move the car, because the paparazzi might've recognized it." Logan sighed as he helped me sit down slowly and put the seatbelt around me, before he climbed into his side of the car and pulled away.

"I think you should go take a nap when you get home."

"No, Logie, I need to take care of the babies. My mom needs a break from helping me." I sighed. Logan pulled me close gently.

"Hey, let me deal with it, okay?" I nodded a little, but on the inside I was disagreeing. I needed to take care of my babies. I leaned back against the seat and relaxed, letting my eyes drift close for a moment. The next thing I knew, Logan was shaking me awake gently.

"Kendall? Hey, Kendall, we're here." I sighed and blinked a few times, glancing around and seeing the back parking lot of the Palm woods.

"Paparazzi?" I whispered, feeling tired and groggy. Logan nodded and leaned close to peck my cheek and ruffle my hair gently.

"Yeah, Gustavo said paparazzi and photographers keep following us everywhere to figure out what is going on. But, he said to avoid them at all costs." I nodded again and Logan rubbed my cheek gently.

"Hey, want to go inside? Take a nap?" I crossed my arms and nodded as Logan climbed out and hurried to my side, opening the door and offering his hand to me. I smiled and gladly took it as I stood slowly.

"Who said chivalry was dead?" I chuckled as Logan wrapped his arms around me and carried me gently inside. I tried to walk slowly, but Logan ended up lifting me up gently and carried me to the back elevator. I saw down the hall were tons of photographers flashing pictures, but Freight Train was standing there, making sure no one got past. Logan hurried and walked past, sliding into the elevator as a few people slipped past the bodyguard and clambered towards the elevator.

He hit our floor and the doors slid close.

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

I don't remember falling asleep, but when I woke up, I was in my bed. I checked my phone and chuckled when I saw I had been sleeping for nearly three hours.

"Logan." I laughed as I shook my head. I stood slowly, groaning as my belly ached a little. I took the prescription pain killers the doctor had given me and opened them, sliding out the prescribed dose and putting them in my hand. I stood slowly and moved towards my door, yawning as I twisted the door knob and padded out into the hall, wandering into the living room. I found Kaleb and Abigail lying in rockers, Logan moving them with his toes as he sat on the couch and played with Lucas. Lucas stared at Logan intently, before he blinked and yawned. His fists twitched a little and he flexed his fingers. Logan took his hand and kissed his little fingers, letting Lucas wrap his fingers around his finger.

I smiled and walked into the kitchen to grab a drink for my medicine.

"Hey, sleepy-head. How are you feeling?" He whispered. I smiled at him and walked over to sit beside him, taking Lucas so he could rest a foot and hold Kaleb while Abby slept.

"Fine, but when did I fall asleep?" Logan gave me a sheepish look.

"You fell asleep in the elevator so I carried you in and put you in bed. I let your mom take a nap and took care of the babies." He yawned and I swallowed my pills, giving him a dumbstruck look.

"You took care of them all? By yourself?" Logan smiled and blushed. I took him in and realized that's why he looked tired.

"Yeah, but it wasn't hard. I've babysat some of my cousins and newborn nieces and nephews before."

"Oh…I didn't know that." I smiled and leaned into Logan's shoulder as Lucas began coughing gently. I patted his back and he calmed down, before he sneezed a little. I felt worried so I put my hand on his forehead.

"He doesn't feel hot-"

"It's okay, I called the doctor early. He's fine, it's just because it's sort of chilly outside." Logan squeezed my shoulder and I let out a relieved sigh.

"Thank goodness. I was scared he might have been sick." I kissed Lucas's head and Logan rocked Kaleb gently.

"Nah, he's fine. But how are YOU feeling?" he raised an eyebrow at me and I sighed.

"Still tired. I'm fine."

"And?" I looked back at Logan and smiled, leaning into him and placing Lucas next to Kaleb on our legs, so the brothers were sitting by one another.

"I'm glad. I know it might feel a little weird at first, after all that drama, but…I'm happy we got back together, Logan." I whispered, lacing my fingers with is as we rocked our sons gently. Logan smiled and looked down at our sleeping sons and then our snoozing daughter.

"I'm just happy I got to experience that beautiful moment when I got to meet my kids." He kissed Kalebs little fingers and smiled at me.

"I hope you realize that when they get older we might need a bigger apartment." He sighed.

"Or a house…" I whispered. Logan grabbed my free hand and I looked at him, shocked to find so much happiness in his chocolate orbs.

"You want to try and get a house?" I smiled but then thought about it, looking down at the babies.

"Yeah…We could try it…we might have to ask Gustavo, though." I leaned my head on his shoulder, and Logan set Kaleb in the rocker to nap, so he could hug me fully.

"I will miss this place, though." Logan sighed as we held hands and rocked Lucas, who seemed he wasn't even trying to sleep.

"We could always come back and visit."

"James and Carlos could move along with us!" He said excitedly, but stopped himself form being too loud. I chuckled and kissed his hand.

"Maybe, Logie-bear. Come on, let's put the babies to bed-wait, did you feed them?" Logan nodded, looking proud of himself. I smiled and patted his cheek.

"Good job. Let's go." I picked up Lucas and held him close as I walked into my room and built a small crib out of pillows and blankets so the babies would be safe. I placed Lucas on one side while Logan set Abigail next to him. I traveled back to the living room and scooped up Kaleb, rocking him for a moment while he whimpered. He relaxed and I pushed a pacifier into his mouth to quiet him before I took him and placed him in the bed, smiling to myself.

I grabbed Logan's hand and lead him back to the couch, lying next to him and wrapping my arms around him. Logan smiled and placed one arm behind his head while holding me with the other.

"Logan?"

"Yeah, baby?" He brushed my hair away and I sighed in content.

"I love you." Logan was quiet, and I felt a tiny sharp pain in my chest, but I looked up at him to see he was crying gently. I wiped away his tears.

"Don't cry, baby."

"I know, Kendall, I'm sorry. I just love you, too." We hugged and laid there for a moment when someone knocked on the door. I stood and walked over, opening and smiling when I saw Dak and Steve standing there, holding hands.

"Hi, guys! Come in." I opened the door and they slid in beside me. I hugged Dak and shook hands with Steve.

"How are you two?"

"Doing well. What about you?" Dak's eyes flicked over to something else and I followed his gaze to see Logan standing there awkwardly. Logan walked forward slowly and stuck out his hand while the other one went in his pocket awkwardly.

"Dak." Dak eyed Logan's hand before he took his hand and they shook their hands warmly.

"No hard feelings?"

"Nope. As long as you treat him as you should, I think we'll be fine."

"I will never hurt him, Dak, I promise." I smiled when Logan said that, then I beamed when they hugged warmly, before pulling away and blushing.

"So we're all good?"

"Yeah, we're all good." Logan beamed.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Dak and Steve left a little bit later and we continued onto bed, sleeping in the guest bedroom with the baby monitor near. I thanked god none of the babies woke up during the night, which surprised me, but I was awakened by something worse the next morning.

"Gustavo, what do you want?" I groaned.

"Griffin needs you two in the studio to talk to you! NOW!" I groaned again and looked at Logan, who was awake, but had his head buried under the pillow.

"Gustavo, you're going to wake up the babies, and you're like thirty miles away." I glanced at Logan and watched him stand up to go get ready. Gustavo was quiet for a minute.

"Look, I'll warn you now; Griffin is pissed about something and basically needs to yell at you two. Sorry, but I need you two to get over here quickly."

"Alright, we'll be there soon." I ended the call and stood slowly, grabbing my medicine bottle. I shook out the prescribed dose and held it in my hand as I left the room, going into the restroom where Logan was brushing his teeth. I pecked his cheek and he blushed.

"Good morning." I whispered. Logan bent and spat out his toothpaste before he smiled at me.

"Morning. What did Gustavo want?"

"It's Griffin. He's pissed about something." Logan rolled his eyes before he continued with brushing his teeth. I sighed and crossed my arms.

"I'll start feeding the babies, and changing them." I patted Logan's shoulder, and started for the babies' bedroom. I opened the door slowly, hoping to keep quiet, when they all started crying. I sighed and opened the door, wondering if this day was going to be long.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"This is completely unacceptable!" Griffin cried as he threw the magazine down. On it had several pictures grouped together of Logan and me at the airport, kissing and me with blood staining my clothes.

Then they had one picture of me in the hospital, and I guess some nurse showed them who my children were, because I found a picture of them on one of the pages. I rubbed my nose in frustration.

"How did they get these pictures?!" Logan cried once he saw the pictures.

"I don't know, but you two have some explaining to do." Griffin leaned back and eyed us with a mean look and pressed his fingers together. I sighed and looked at Logan.

"Do you wanna start or should I…" Logan eyed me and I groaned.

"Fine. Okay, so when I found out I had prostate cancer, I had to get surgery and the prescribed medicine I need for after it had so much estrogen in it, and the surgery took out a lot of testoreone in my body so basically I developed a womb. Logan and I were together around that time, and we had a….night after that… Well, I found out I was pregnant, and I had an abortion planned-"

"Why the hell didn't you go through with it?!" Griffin screeched. I saw Gustavo back up a little and he glared at the back of Griffin's head. I smirked. At least Gustavo was on our side.

Abigail began crying, so I reached down and unbuckled her seat, pulling her out and rocking her. Griffin eyed her, and I narrowed my eyes back at him.

"Because it was MY decision, and NOT yours. I love my children, and I don't care what you think about them, Griffin." He was a bit taken aback, but he shook his head.

"Continue with your story please."

"Well, Logan found out, and we sort of fought about it, but we continued on with keeping the babies." I said quickly, trying to keep out the part where Logan and I fought. Logan glanced at me and I smiled back at him, but Griffin pointed at the magazine.

"Then what is with this picture? And why did _you_ never tell me about him being pregnant?!" He pointed angrily at Gustavo. Gustavo glanced at Kelly and they both exchanged expressions.

"Ummm…long story." I blushed. I then averted my attention to Abby, who was beginning to whimper and cry. I pulled a bottle out of the diaper bag I had next to me and began feeding her eager mouth, listening to her suckle on the body and slurp the milk.

"Well, this is completely unacceptable! How dumb are you guys to be caught by the paparazzi?!"

"Don't yell at him, it wasn't his fault!" Logan yelled back. Griffin looked shocked as Logan stood and grabbed Lucas's and Kaleb's carriers. He looked down at me as I began patting Abigail's back, making her burp. She puked on the little throw up rag I had, thank goodness, so I folded it up and shoved it into a plastic bag to wash it later before I stood and buckled her, too.

"We're leaving now; we have some houses to look at." Logan stuck his nose up a little as he left, and I chuckled and followed after him, leaving quickly.

We were out in the hall when Gustavo and Kelly ran up to us.

"Hey, guys, look, just let Griffin cool off, okay? He'll come back around, because you guys have been his best boy band ever on his label. I promise it'll be okay." Gustavo said.

"Just go take some time off, okay? Spend some time with your children." Kelly smiled. I nodded and Logan smiled at them.

"Thanks you guys."

"No problem, but try and lay low for a while, okay?" Kelly said. We nodded as we walked out of the studio and headed home.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

I was feeding Lucas and Kaleb at the same time while Abby was sleeping and Logan had just hopped in the shower for a few minutes when my mom came in and took Kaleb from my arm.

"Need some help there? "She chuckled. I smiled at her as I continued to feed Lucas and rock Abby slowly with my toes. I couldn't help myself as I continued to aw at her sleeping face that seemed so delicate and beautiful, and then I looked at Lucas, smiling when I saw him turn those gorgeous pale green eyes on me. I glanced at Kaleb in my mom's arms and felt something big, something so…so emotional swell in my chest and I decided on one thing at that moment.

_I will always protect and love you guys._

"So, where's Katie?" I asked my mom. She smiled at me as she burped Kaleb.

"At a sleepover, which is why I wanted to discuss something with you and Logan tonight, which, by the way where is he?

"I _was_ in the shower, but I'm here now, what's so important?" he asked, taking Lucas from me and mouthing the words "_take a break_" at me. I slumped in my chair and sighed, but nonetheless I felt exhausted.

"Well…I heard you two the other day talking, and I decided, with Katie, to let you two have 2J to yourselves." My jaw dropped and I looked at Logan, making sure his shock wouldn't cause him to drop Lucas. He smiled at my mom and I beamed at him, glad to see his tired form so happy in a short moment.

"Really? Wow, Mama Knight, thank you! But, why?"

"You guys need the rooms and I know you would hate to leave here, besides it's not much for me and Katie to move out. We don't need so much space for two people, and the babies still need cribs and high chairs and a playpen and such." She smiled at me and I blushed, leaning over to hug my mom.

"Thank you, mom. Thank you so much." She smiled at me as I pulled away.

"We can go shopping for things at Toys R Us tomorrow!" Logan said, excitedly. I chuckled and lifted Kaleb from my mom's arms when I saw he was snoozing. I supported his head as he whimpered and I took him into our room, placing him in the middle of the pillows and blankets like last night, doing the same with Lucas and Abigail, before it turned the baby monitor on and took the other end into the guest bedroom.

"Night, mom." I said after I kissed her on the cheek. She smiled and I took Logan's had, leading him into the guest bedroom once I heard my mom leave to go to a friends or something. I guess she knew what I had in mind. I pushed Logan down on the bed and he climbed on top of me slowly.

"I don't want to rip open your stitches." He whispered, trailing his fingers down the tightly knitted skin.1 I moaned a little and pulled him close to kiss him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and smiled as I brought him closer.

"Logan-Logan- oh god, Logan." I panted between kisses as it grew more rushed and hot, and suddenly I was hard and bothered, rubbing against his leg.

"Logan, oh, God Logan." I panted again as he began rocking his hips into mine.

"Kendall, I don't-want to-hurt you." He panted. I kissed him and rubbed his back as one of the babies woke up.

"Fuck!" Logan whispered. I looked at him and sighed, hurrying out from under him to go check on the baby. It was Kaleb, who went to sleep without being burped and had a bellyache. I patted his belly and back for a moment, trying to calm him down, before I held him against my shoulder and commenced with burping him. He puked a little, but I shrugged my shirt off after I laid him back down, and tossed it in the laundry pile on my way back to bed.

"You're getting the next one." I chuckled while pointing at Logan. He smiled and pulled me on top of him.

"Are you still in the mood?" I nodded and he smiled, rubbing my thighs, before he slowly and carefully rolled us over.

"Good, because I have a solution." I smiled as he yanked my sweatpants off, then did the same to himself. He grabbed a bottle of lotion from the bathroom and tossed the covers off of my body. I blushed and covered myself, self-conscious so much. I still had some baby fat, nothing bad only about ten pounds since Dr. Long gave me lipo…secretly…

But still I hated it. But Logan pulled my hands away and kissed his way from my chest to my pubic area, leaving love marks as he suckled and bit. He then squirted some lotion onto his hand and smiled at me, before he began to lather me up. I groaned and tossed my head back as he pumped me slowly.

"God, such a nice, long, and hard cock. It's been so long since you fucked me. I want you to fuck my ass, Kendall, no wait, I want to _ride_ you." I shook and felt my aching need grow stronger with Logan's words.

"God, Logan, you're so beautiful." I whispered as I ran my hands down his body and kissed his nipples, before sucking on them. He groaned in approval, before he sunk two lubed fingers inside him, letting out a squeal. I throbbed and twitched as he did, and then he was smacking his ass against my hips, making me thrust up in need of sweet release.

"F-Fuck! Kenny, please, make sweet love to me!" He cried, but I sat forward and kissed him to prevent any more screams getting out as I rammed harder into his prostate, and then we swallowed each other's moans as we released at the same time. Logan collapsed next to me on the bed, but we pulled each other into each other's arms and kissed.

"I love you- Logan." I panted. Logan curled into my side and smiled against my chest.

"I love you, too, Kendall." It was quiet for a few minutes as we began dozing, but the monitor woke us up with a startle as a baby began crying.

"Your turn."

"Ughhhh, fine." Logan groaned.

**A/N**

**You guys deserved smut. Enjoy.**

**One more chap left. Thanks please review.**

**FAQ**


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N**

**Dear me dear me, my lovely readers! So, SO sorry to keep you waiting for this but I didn't have time, or any influence to type! I guess I've given up after so long. Sorry, but this is officially the ****last**** chapter to this Kogan. I want to say thank you to all my readers, reviewers and others who have put up with all my shit and been patient. I've been going through some difficulties and problems, but I'll start trying to update sooner.**

**Thank you.**

**Logan's POV**

Today was it! Mama Knight and Katie's moving day.

I'm sad to see them move out and not be there to say hello every morning to us with wide grins, but at the same time, I feel great to finally have the apartment to myself with Kendall and the babies.

Kendall and I woke up this morning, looking tired as hell, but ready to get moving. I felt bad for Kendall, though, because we were sort of kicking his family out. But Bitters allowed them to have the apartment 5C. It's a bit of a walk for us to carry all there furniture and stuff up, but we're all ready for it.

Kendall especially, though, because I'm not allowing him to carry anything heavy or help with the move. Someone needs to watch the babies, right?

"Why can't I help again?" Kendall groaned from his position on the couch. I had just walked up three flights of steps carrying two heavy duffel bags, and stood next to the couch panting. I stopped for a moment, because I had been walking back and forth between the two apartments for nearly an hour, we were dismantling the beds and dressers Mama Knight and Katie had so they would have beds already and could buy some furniture tomorrow.

I leaned close to Kendall and pecked his nose, which wrinkled and he used his free hand to push me away.

"You smell bad. You definitely need a shower." He chuckled. I sat beside him and kissed my daughters head, and then reached down to the rockers Kendall was moving with his toes to play with my sons.

"How are you holding up over here?" I smiled at him, but took in my boyfriend's appearance. He looked tired, had pale blotchy skin and deep bags under his eyes from attending to the babies and not himself. Triplets are hard to take care of, even with others help.

Kendall sighed and slowly laid back on the couch, cuddling our daughter to his chest. I smiled at him a little, but he blinked and closed his eyes gently.

"You okay?" I whispered, leaning down to coddle my son, Kaleb.

"'M sleepy." He whispered. I sighed and pressed my lips to Kaleb's head, making him whimper. He looked at me with his beautiful pale green eyes and suckled his pacifier.

"Maybe you and the triplets could take a nap?" I suggested. Kendall nodded without opening his eyes and then stood, taking Kaleb and Abigail, who snuggled into their dad's chest as he wandered off to bed, blinking sleepily. He turned towards me and smiled a little.

"Hey, sweetheart, Lucas won't fall asleep yet. Can you take him for a while?" I smiled and nodded at Kendall, picking Lucas up and holding him close. I kissed him and he whimpered, sucking on his pacifier before he spat it out. I picked it back up and put it back in his mouth, before I turned and picked up a baby carrier. I might've looked dorky with it on, but I strapped it to myself and put Lucas in it, holding his frail body to mine. I balanced his head on my shoulder and he laid there, suckling his pacifier and napping a little, but I could tell he wasn't sleeping just yet.

I picked up a small bag to carry down to Mama Knight and Katie's new apartment, and held Lucas's head at the same time as I quietly opened the door and left. Kendall deserved some well needed rest and once we finally got Mama Knight and Katie moved out, we could easily relax all day.

I started up the elevator and slung the bag over my shoulder gently and hurried out of the elevator, and down the hall. I cradled Lucas's head, smiling when I noticed he was finally nodding off. I rapped the door with my knuckles and it opened immediately, showing a grinning Katie.

"Hey! Is that the last bag?" I nodded.

"Yeah, I think so." I said quietly, cuddling Lucas's head. He whimpered before he curled into my shoulder and napped again. Katie smiled and I watched the fifteen year old reach over to rub his back and smile. Mama Knight came and took the bag from my shoulder.

"Thank you, Logan. Now, go and take care of this little one." She whispered. I nodded and kissed both their cheeks before leaving. I decided a little stroll around the lobby would help tire me out a bit, so I could go nap with Kendall and the babies, so I hit the lobby button in the elevator and felt it descend. I glanced down at Lucas, lifting my hand off his head to see he was still suckling his pacifier, but slowly.

_Come on, Lucas. Let's nap a bit._

I sighed when he started sucking his pacifier faster, which meant he was starting to wake back up. I cradled his head and left the cab as the doors opened. I walked out into the lobby and smiled at some people passing by.

A few smile, a couple cringed, and a bunch looked at me in wonder, or confusement. I frowned as I bounced Lucas gently and walked outside. It was a bit warmer out, so I figured Lucas would like the heat. I walked out into the park and smiled as he slowly opened his eyes and the sun shone down on him, highlighting his skin somehow and making me tear up. My son was so beautiful.

I'm so lucky to have my children, so lucky that Kendall changed his mind and so did Dak. It was all haywire for a while, but now it felt calm. I kissed him and watched him open his eyes again, a bit drowsy, and look up into the sky. I spun gently, looking up as the trees and leaves spun in my vision and the sun's rays splashed everywhere for a moment. I looked back down at Lucas, and was amazed to see him smiling behind his pacifier.

Newborns usually don't smile or anything for a few weeks after being born, but he was smiling, like he was the happiest kid in the world.

I didn't know about that, but I did know I was the happiest father in the world at that moment.

I sat down on a bench not to long after that and took Lucas out of the holder, pulling out the little blanket I had tucked under and behind him, so the carrier wouldn't irritate him. I wrapped him up and bounced him a little, watching him yawn. His pacifier fell from his mouth, so I put it back in and watched him suckle it gently. I smiled and yawned, looking down at him as he began to slumber.

"Yeah, I agree with you buddy." I stood and placed him back in the carrier, cradling his body as I began to walk back to the Palm Woods. I felt so happy, like I was on Cloud Nine. I kissed Lucas's head, feeling happy tears rise.

But I felt shaken for some reason as I got closer and closer to the Palmwoods, and when I reached the lobby, I realized why.

I shrieked when I realized I was surrounded by paparazzi. They started clicking frantically, crowding me as I hugged Lucas, making him wake up and shriek. He dropped his pacifier and as I hurried to bend over and get it, while holding Lucas so he wouldn't move too much, someone kicked it by accident and it disappeared in a crowd of feet. I curled up and hugged Lucas, yanking his blanket over him to hide him as the photographers screamed questions at me.

I felt my heart racing as Lucas cried, and flailed a little under his blanket. The photographers crowded closer and I let out a small cry. Being so close to strangers, I didn't know what they had, Lucas could get sick.

I glanced up and saw a familiar brunette standing behind all the paparazzi, with a smirk on her face.

_Camille._

This must've been her fault. She must've saw me or something and called them. I gave a whimper and then hugged Lucas and darted through the crowd. They all started bellowing, but my mind and heart raced so fast, I couldn't think of anything else but running away from them.

But before I did anything, I went for my first target. Camille.

I rammed into her, watching her fall back into a table, breaking it in half and screaming in pain as she landed on the cheap lobby furniture. She glared at me and I glared back before running past her and up the stairs. I stumbled into the apartment at the last moment, clutching Lucas in his carrier. His crying had gone down for a few minutes, but then he began crying and bawling his little eyes out. I quickly took him out of his carrier and tried to calm him down, but he wouldn't.

As if his motherly instincts had kicked in, Kendall quietly came rushing out of his bedroom and grabbed Lucas from me, cuddling him and rocking him, sticking his finger into his Lucas's mouth and letting our son suckle his finger between his gums. Kendall looked frazzled, tired, and pissed off.

"_You almost woke up the other babies!_ What happened?" he hissed. I panted, from running, and stood a little taller. Kendall eyed the clock in the kitchen and frowned.

"You were gone…for over an hour…Where were you?" He arrowed his eyes at me a little, but I held up my hands to show him I wouldn't be telling a lie.

"I took Lucas to the park for a bit…Camille…paparazzi…they attacked me and I think Camille had called them…" I watched Kendall's frown intensity lower and then he looked embarrassed. He looked down at Lucas and cleared his throat.

"Sorry." He mumbled.

"You had every right to be angry and suspicious. But I just wish I hadn't gone down there, because now they might have pictures." I sighed and stroked Lucas's head, leaning over to kiss him.

"Sorry, I lost his pacifier." Kendall shrugged.

"We'll get some new ones when we go shopping tomorrow." He said quietly. I watched him for a moment before I pulled him into a hug, nuzzling his neck with my nose. He shivered, but chuckled as we both turned to head back to the bedroom.

"I hope you realize you still smell."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

The next day was such frenzy, it was terrible. I woke up at 4 because one of the babies was crying, and spent thirty minutes calming Abigail down and getting her back to sleep before I went back to bed. Kendall got the next one at 5:30, but then we had to wake up at 7 to start getting ready to head out.

We gave each baby an individual bath, me washing them and passing them off to Kendall so he could dry them, and dress them. After three baths and two showers, three changings, and three and a half feedings, we still weren't nearly ready to go.

I watched Kendall as he buttoned the babies up in onesies, booties, hats, then placed several jackets over the babies. By the time he was done stuffing them all into clothes, each baby looked like a marshmallow ball. (The onesies and outerwear were all cream, white and beige colored, so they would all match…adorably confusing if I must say…) Kendall stood after all that and looked at me with a small smile, but I must've looked worried because he stopped after a moment.

Kendall was still thin looking, pale and even though his skin was clearing up a bit from the malnutrition the babies had put on his body, he still looked kind of bad.

"What's wrong?"

"Are you sure you want to go out? I can do this by myself, besides James and Carlos are coming with me." Kendall pouted, and I felt my heart throb at such an adorable face.

"But I want to go."

"I'm just saying, are you sure? You still seem sick." Kendall crossed his arms and huffed.

"I _am _going with you to pick out our babies clothes and furniture!" I rolled my eyes and smiled at him.

"Okay, but you need to get dressed better than _that."_ I motioned towards his clothes and Kendall suddenly seemed to notice he was still covered in damp sweats and a messy t-shirt.

"Oh…yeah…" he fingered his shirt, but I leaned close and gently grabbed his chin to kiss him sweetly. When I pulled away he blinked, a bit dazed.

"You need to start taking care of yourself, sweetheart. You look terrible." Kendall blushed, embarrassed, and turned away. I pulled him into a hug and kissed the nape of his neck as he played with one of the baby's booties.

"I still think you're beautiful, ya know? But please, you look like you're sick. You need to get some rest and put on a bit more weight." I squeezed his ribcage and he squeaked.

"O-okay…I will. I'm going to go get ready." He said quietly, disappearing into the bedroom as James and Carlos walked in, Nathaniel and the twins toddling along with them.

"Logie!" Nathaniel cried as he ran over. I swept the little boy up into my arms and tickled his stomach, before I smiled at the twins and hugged James and Carlos.

"Hey guys, thanks for coming. We could use the help today." James flashed me a smile as he took Nathaniel from my arms.

"No problem, buddy! We love to help out!" James smiled and twirled his son around as the twins played with the babies.

"So where is Kendall? Let's get this party started!" Carlos chuckled. I chuckled with him.

"He's getting ready still. It took us a while this morning, but we got through with it." I laughed as Kendall exited the bedroom. I turned to look at him and felt my cheeks turn red, because well, shit he looked hot. He wore grey skinny jeans with a leather belt to hold them up (they were a bit big since he lost so much weight) and a black wife beater underneath a yellow and black plaid shirt that accented his green eyes so well, along with checkered Vans and a grey beanie sat on his blonde tufts.

"Sp~iffy!" James sang, stretching the "sp" out long. Kendall blushed and pulled on a jacket.

"You guys almost ready to go?"

"Dude, we've been ready forever." Carlos laughed. Kendall and I glanced at the clock. Noon. Wait, noon? Oh gosh, the time flew by just by dressing the babies.

"Ugh, we're terrible parents." I cried dramatically. James patted my shoulder and smiled.

"You'll get used to it." He picked up Lucas and Kendall picked up Kaleb, so I carried Abigail and Carlos held Nathaniel as we all piled out the door. Kendall set Kaleb down to lock the apartment, but when he turned around, James had set Lucas down and was digging in his backpack that he usually carried around now. He pulled out a smaller bag and motioned for Kendall to come closer. Kendall glanced at me and I shrugged but busted out laughing ten seconds later when James produced liquid and powder foundation.

"James-" Kendall groaned, but James dabbed his skin and rubbed the foundation in before he powdered his cheeks. Kendall glared at Carlos and I as we laughed, but James ruffled his hat and hair.

"You should wear some when your skin breaks out…really helps sometimes. Or try wearing a mask once in a while…" James mumbled. Kendall looked confused. Veronica and Drake laughed at us, but laughed at Kendall, because he didn't know what James was talking about. Obviously they did, though, and I wasn't surprised.

"Mask?" James face palmed and I struggled to not die laughing.

"I'm surprised you gave birth to a daughter, Kendall. Because you will never be a good motherly example for her." Kendall glared again.

"Good, because she doesn't need another woman in her life, she has you." James blushed and quickly tossed his stuff in his backpack, before he picked up Lucas.

"Let's get going."

We all continued down the elevator and went out the back door, climbing into the Expedition Carlos and James had about a month or two ago. With four adults, and six kids, we needed a big car. Veronica and Drake had to sit on mine and Kendall's laps as we left the Palmwoods.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

When we finally stopped and could climb out of the car, we were at Toys R Us to shop. Kendall immediately ran to get two carts, and placed the babies in one of them quickly. I understood his sense of "get-in-and-get-out" because of what happened with Lucas and I being swarmed by photographers, but I watched Kendall become stressed as he started pushing the heavy cart. He was too weak to do it by himself. I looked at James, who had just finished buckling Nathaniel into the cart seat.

"Can you push Kendall's cart, please?" He noticed Kendall's struggle and turned towards Carlos.

"here, take this cart. I'll push Kendall's and Logan and Kendall can shop and put things in the cart." James walked over to Kendall and silently took his cart, leaving Kendall a bit deflated. I hugged his shoulders and pecked his cheek as we headed inside. He smiled a little and blushed, but kept quiet.

"Daddy, why are we here?" Drake asked as we all settled into the carts (Oh gosh that sounds horrible, but it's hard with so many kids I guess)

"Toys?! Can we get toys, daddy?!" Veronica cried, flashing James and Carlos her famous Garcia puppy dog eyes. Carlos chuckled, but I saw the flash of shame in his eyes that people got when they got that look.

"I'll think about it. Okay, let's go." We walked in quickly and Kendall immediately led us to the babies section, where he started picking up more onesies, diapers, bottles, formula, and baby wipes. He piled the cart Carlos had will it all, before he grabbed a new thing on pacifiers.

"Kendall, honey, calm down… it's our babies, not the apocalypse." I chuckled as Kendall stopped in the middle of picking up his fourth diaper box. He slowly set it back down and turned to me with a sad look in his eyes. I sensed something bad and turned to James and Carlos. They understood the look I gave them and James turned to Drake and Veronica, who had been eyeing the toy section eagerly. They were obedient kids, and had followed us around the store without complaint, but they needed to be a kid for a few minutes and squeal at the toys.

"Hey, kids let's take the babies and go to the toys section." I watched their little eyes widen and they immediately ran towards the kids section, squealing in delight. James and Carlos followed, laughing at their children as they did. I turned back to Kendall as he broke down in my arms quietly.

"W-What if I'm doing this all w-wrong, L-Logan? I d-don't know anything about b-babies." He mumbled. I held him close and smiled, trying to raise his spirits.

"Hey, look calm down. We can do this, I know we can. We've done good so far, right? I mean, it's been nearly two and a half weeks and nothing too bad has happened!" Kendall chuckled a little and then bit his lip.

"I'm just scared is all. I don't want to be a bad parent to my-I-I mean,_ our_ kids." He mumbled. I smirked a little, and pressed my fingers into his chin to raise his gaze to meet mine.

"You won't be. Hell, you'll be the _best_ parent to them! You'll teach them things I won't be able to, and they'll grow up to love you to death." Kendall smiled but then he frowned.

"What about you?" I chuckled.

"I'll be the strict parent they hate and always have them slam their door in my face in the middle of a lecture. I'll be the least liked parent." Kendall shook his head, his bangs waving back and forth.

"No, they'll love you to death, because you'll be the parent that helps them with anything they don't know, like math, and the one they can talk to seriously and remember as being the greatest dad on Earth." I smiled and hugged Kendall when he said that, before I lifted him off his feet and twirled him. He laughed and I pecked his cheek eagerly.

We hugged for a few moments before Kendall released me and he ran to the baby furniture and his face lit up like a light bulb.

"I THINK I FOUND THE CRIBS I WANT!"

I chuckled and followed him.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

It took Kendall and me a week to finally set up the nursery and have it finished. We moved all the furniture out of one room and put it in Katie's and Mama Knights old room. We ripped the carpeting out and tossed it, then had some flooring people to place hardwood floors in there, to make it nicer.

We asked Kendall's mom to watch the babies just for a few nights while we painted and finished the room, because we didn't want the paint to affect their breathing. We set up the cribs, dressers, put the clothes and toys away and finally finished after so much time spent on it.

I was kneeling on my knees in front of the door, adjusting the little sign I was hanging on the door. I finally got it hanging right and stood, backing up to shut the door and wrap my arms around Kendall. The door had a sign that now read, in big cursive yellow letters, _**ABIGAIL, KALEB, LUCAS. **_

"We're finally done." Kendall sighed, looking tired. I smiled at him and pecked his lips, making him blush. He still looked tired, but otherwise, better. His skin started cleaning up, and he finally had been gaining a bit of more weight. He looked happier, more energetic than he was a week ago. I smiled as I looked into his bright green eyes, before I leaned close and cradled his head in my hands, pulling him close as I kissed him, his soft lips pressed against mine. He smirked against my lips and then we pulled away gently. He pressed his forehead to mine and stared down his nose at me.

"You're amazing."

"I know." I winked at him and he chuckled, lacing our fingers together.

"Are you ready to show everyone the nursery?" I nodded and Kendall beamed, taking out his phone and texting everyone. A few minutes later, everyone had piled into the hallway and stood in front of us, eager to see our finished nursery. I took Kaleb and Lucas from Katie and Mama Knight while Kendall held Abigail.

"Ready?" he raised an eager eyebrow at everyone. I watched Drake and Veronica bounce in excitement, before Nathaniel tried to copy his sister and brother.

"Come on, sweetheart show us!" Mama Knight cried. Kendall smiled and opened the nursery, leading us all in. The walls were painted yellow, the floor was a light mahogany wood, the cribs were white with yellow bedding and jungle animals covered the room as decorations. I heard Carlos and James gasp, Mama Knight squealed. I turned to see Katie smiling and holding Nate on her hip. She lead him to one of the cheetahs on the wall and tickled him, making him squeal, before he pointed at the cheetah and cried,"Kitty!"

We all chuckled at that but then Kendall turned to look at everyone.

"What do you think?"

"Awesome!" Carlos cried. James smiled and touched one of the three cribs.

"It's great."

"I'm so proud of you two." Mama Knight cried as she hugged Kendall, then I, being mindful of the babies. Kendall placed Abigail in her crib, letting our newborn daughter rest as he then came over to help me with settling the boys down.

"Thank you guys so much for your help." I whispered as I hugged Carlos and James, Kendall following my example.

"Hey! We helped, too!" Veronica cried, pouting, Drake following her example and crossing his arms. I laughed quietly before I knelt on my knees and poked their noses.

"Yes you did! Such a big help, thank you!" I hugged them, watching them laugh as I tickled them, before they turned and investigated the little toys in the toy box we had for the triplets.

I smiled at Kendall and brought him close, nuzzling my nose against him and making him blush.

"And thank _you_, my darling." I kissed his nose and he went even redder, before hugging me tightly and nuzzling his face into my neck.

"You're welcome. Thank you, thank you so much, Logan." He whispered. I smiled and felt tears well up in my eyes. He wasn't just thanking me for the nursery, but I wouldn't tell him I knew.

"Since our family is finally complete," James started, pulling us all into a small circle," I think we should celebrate."

"And how do you suggest we celebrate?" I raised an eyebrow at him and he laughed.

"With dinosaur nuggets and hockey dome!" he said quietly. We all silently cheered and turned to file out of the nursery, letting the babies sleep. As soon as everyone was out, I shut off the light, opened the blinds for the babies to have a bit of light, then turned on the baby monitor and backed out of the room quietly.

"Goodnight, my sweethearts." I whispered before I shut the door gently.

*_**later that night***_

After a couple of diaper changes and feedings, Kendall and the babies had finally settled down. I was snuggled up in bed with Kendall, both tired but too happy to sleep.

"Logan, stop wiggling around." Kendall groaned gently. I laughed at him and rolled over, hugging him close.

"Kendall?" I said after a few quiet, still minutes. Kendall yawned and looked at me in the dark with tired eyes.

"Yes, baby?"

"Kendall…I know it might be too soon for you…But, can we go back to what we were, before this all happened?" I said quietly. Kendall sat up a little in the dark and turned on the lamp, blinking the sleep away for a moment. I saw his eyes were filled with wonder and excitement, and joyous tears.

"You want to be engaged again?" He whispered, before blushing and hanging his head, fiddling with his sweatpants. I love Kendall, but jeez, I have never seen him blush so much. Since when did he become so self-conscious?

I leaned forward and placed my lips against his. We sat there and moved our lips against each other's for a few minutes before Kendall and I pulled apart and panted. He pulled me close and pressed our chests together, nibbling my ear. I moaned and Kendall panted into my ear.

"I would take you right now if I wasn't so tired." I chuckled and kissed his neck, watching as he reached back and reached into his nightstand, whipping out a small velvet box. He opened it and showed me the engagement ring. I beamed as he slipped it onto my finger.

"You kept it." I whispered. He chuckled.

"Of course, I did. "He suddenly went very serious, his green eyes reflecting his every emotion.

"I love you, Logan." I felt my heart speed up and I pulled him into my embrace, laying down and pulling him on top of me.

"I love you, too. With all my heart and soul, Kendall." I took his hand and kissed it as we laced our fingers together again. I stared at my engagement ring in the dark and smiled. The baby monitor went off and both Kendall and I hurried into the room to check the babies. It was just Abigail, who needed to be rocked back to sleep real quickly. As I sat there, rocking her gently, Kendall stroked Kalebs tummy and then kissed our son, before leaning into Lucas's crib and doing the same.

He then turned to me and leaned close, pressing our foreheads together as I rocked slowly in the rocking chair.

"Logan?" He whispered in the dark.

"Yes, my love?"

"Don't ever leave me again…please." I recognized the hurt in his voice, and leaned close to give him a passionate and tender kiss, before pressing my forehead to his again and smiling when I realized Abigail was asleep.

"Never again, I promise."

"Forever and ever, Logan?" he whispered. I kissed him again as he lowered himself more and pressed our cheeks together, looking at our daughter.

"Forever and ever, Kendall. Forever and ever."

**A/N **

**As usual, bad ending to this I'm sorry. I'm just super tired and stressed after such a long day. I wanted to finish this though, because it's been on my mind for a while. I've been having some problems at home, sorry, but I'll try and update my stories more often. Thank you for reading my story and reviewing I appreciate it.**

**FAQ**


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N**

**Did I say that was the last chapter?**

**MWAHAHAHAHA…so for my lovely dear readers, I decided an EPILOGUE was in order. Enjoy.**

**Epilogue**

***7 years later***

**Kendall's POV**

I curled my toes into the warm sand and smiled, feeling the warm salty breeze drifting across my face. The warmth showered me from the sun as I opened my eyes, being blind for a moment before my vision returned to normal.

I glanced up and down the beach I was on, smiling when I saw the waves crashing over and over again into the sand and the sun glimmering off the water.

A successful five years has passed since my beautiful triplets were born. I'll admit it's been hard, but I love my children with all my heart and wouldn't trade the memories and times with them up for anything in the world.

I look down the beach, about forty or so feet from where I'm standing and I smile as I watch my three seven year olds running away from their older friends. Nathaniel grabs Abigail and swings her around, making her scream and laugh in joy as Drake and Veronica tackle my two boys to the ground. I chuckle as Kaleb and Lucas try to scramble back to their feet, to no avail.

Veronica and Drake are now eleven years old, and Nate is ten, and their all growing every day. Veronica has grown to look more like Carlos than her James, and Drake looks like a miniature Dak. Nathaniel looks like a combination of Carlos and James, giving an insight to his future that he will be a very gorgeous young man. My children all look the same, their pale green eyes and light brown hair and dimples continue to make them identical, even my little girl is hard to separate from the boys, especially since they all decided to get the same haircut when they started school, in the same class as Logan and I requested.

Logan. Oh, my beautiful Logan. I turn and look over at my now husband, watching him as he stands, staring out at the ocean, and deep in thought. When he turned 19, he suddenly had a late growth spurt and was now a bit taller than I was more dominant muscles and even looked stronger in the face with a stronger jaw it seemed.

I still loved him all the same, though.

Big Time Rush is still going on, but our tours are short, we fly instead of travel by bus, and it fits in with our children's schedules. We tried to end it last year, the atmosphere was depressing and sad and the topic was painful, but we tried to finish our last album with love and hope.

After about a year away, James couldn't find a job that didn't just want a pretty face, but finally went back to Gustavo after a call or two. He was sad he wouldn't get to sing with us, but we all encouraged him to follow his original dream of becoming a solo artist.

I never reached my hockey player goal, because after my pregnancy, I was left with injuries that took me a few months of therapy to finally heal, and not to mention the medications I still take today. I wouldn't be able to do it anyhow. I went in with James once to help with a song, since he didn't have anybody else. I decided, in that recording booth as soon as the song was ended, I wanted back into the music career. I missed it, a lot.

Carlos followed soon after and Logan did, too. He decided family over his dream of being a doctor, but it was his choice, and only his choice.

We formed the band up again and were welcomed back gladly by our fans.

I walked over to Logan slowly, brushing my bangs away and tucking them behind an ear as I wrapped my arms around him and kissed his neck. He smirked at me and grabbed my hands and pressed them to his chest, holding mine under his as I rested my head on his shoulder, pressing my cheek to his neck, listening to the little "thump, thump" of his heart.

"I love you." He brought one of my hands up and kissed it. I blushed as he wriggled my wedding ring around and grinned. I pecked his cheek and he laughed.

"I love you, too, Logie-bear." I rested my head on his shoulder for a moment before I listened to the shrill screams of the two little girls as they splashed in the water, Abigail holding Veronicas hand as they dashed through the water. Veronica's long onyx hair swinging back and forth in braids as she finally picked my daughter up and carried her on her back through the water, my own daughter's short brown hair being blown around in the wind. The boys were all digging in the sand when Nate jumped into the air, obviously finding something good, and then he tossed it at Drake. Drake screamed as he caught it and threw it at my sons. I watched the twin boys as they tossed it back and forth and then Kaleb chucked it into the water. I laughed and listened to Logan's deep throaty chuckle.

"Boys will be boys." He laughed. I nodded again and tightened my grip on his chest a little.

"Kids. What our lives would be without them?" I laughed. Logan turned around and wrapped his strong hands around my waist, bringing our hips together, fitting my thin ones against his now more broad ones. We fit like a puzzle, and it felt wonderful as he bent down and pressed our lips together. I gripped his hair and he moaned a little.

"Ew!" I stopped and laughed as I turned to see the kids staring at us.

"Dad, no, just don't." Lucas said, shaking his head. I looked at Logan with a sly smile and he returned the look. Then we ran at our sons and picked them up in our arms, smothering them in kisses.

"HELP!" Lucas screamed.

"EW! EW! LOVE JUICE!" Kaleb cried as he hurriedly wiped his face. I laughed and we set them down and watched them run off again, deciding to toss a ball around. I intertwined my fingers with Logan's, filling the empty spaces between each other's fingers, and we began walking down the beach. I bent and picked up a flat rock and passed it to Logan, watching him toss it and skip it in the water.

_1…2…3…4…5…6…7…_

"Seven times? Impressive toss, Mr. Mitchell-Knight." I grinned. Logan looked at me and smiled, before pulling me close again.

"I think I can do better than seven times, Mr. Mitchell-Knight." I laughed and gently pushed him away.

"Was that _supposed_ to sound dirty?" Logan shrugged.

""I tried."

"Not hard enough, obviously." I laughed and began running as Logan started chasing me. I knew I wouldn't be a match to him nowadays, but I was going to try and run my ass off anyway. I stopped a few moments later and stood there, feeling Logan run up behind me a moment later. We stood there for a moment and just took in the scene in front of us. I smiled as Logan wrapped his arms around me and kissed my cheek.

James and Carlos were ahead of us, walking by themselves to be alone for a bit on the beach, but otherwise, smiling, happy and perfect. Carlos was…glowing he was so happy. I drifted my gaze down to his large, swollen belly and smiled bigger.

James and Carlos decided to try for another baby as soon as the kids were old enough. The twins were about to be twelve, and Nate eleven. They decided they could help out as soon as the new baby came. Carlos and James stopped as James bent and picked up a pretty shell and passed it to Carlos, who smiled and curled his fingers around it. James pulled them together and Carlos pressed his large belly into James's toned torso. James rubbed it, held the belly in his hands and kissed Carlos passionately, before he slowly lowered himself to the ground, and into the waves, as he tackled the belly in kisses.

"I've never seen two people so in love." I whispered. Logan kissed my cheek and held me closer.

"Not even us?" I laughed.

"We're close to that. Their…their just a match made in heaven, Logan. They were made for each other, and always have been. It's just beautiful." Logan kissed my neck a few more times, causing me to shiver in pleasure as his hands traveled from my chest down my torso.

"I think we're a match made in heaven, too, ya know." I chuckled and kissed his fingers.

"You can't say something like that about your own marriage." Logan scoffed dramatically.

"Whatever, I'll tell the whole damn world that Kendall Mitchell-Knight is the only person that I'm ever meant to be with."

"Watch how many paparazzi show up at our house the next day." I chuckled. Logan and I smiled, but a scream broke through all of our thoughts.

"Shark! Shark!" One of the girls cried. I darted past Logan and ran into the water to pick up Abigail and Veronica and pull them out; their tiny bodies not fit to drag themselves in from the large waves just yet. They were a bit far out more than they should have been, though. I swam back to shore quickly and watched Logan dragging all the boys away, who protested, wanting to see a real shark.

"Dadddd…." Lucas cried. Logan narrowed his eyes a bit.

"No 'Daddd' ing me. Sharks are dangerous and will harm you unless you keep a good distance."

"But, sharks shouldn't even be coming in this close to shallow water!" Kaleb cried. There go those brains that Logan gave them.

"Some do, but for small reasons. Did someone accidentally cut themselves?" I inspected Veronica's feet and then Abigail's; she had several tiny cuts on her feet that were still bleeding. She whimpered and looked at me.

"I'm sorry. I didn't feel it!" I hugged her and kissed her forehead.

"Its okay, the salt in the water must have been cleaning them so you didn't feel it when you cut them. But, next time, be careful." I turned to Veronica.

"You sure it was a shark?" her puppy dog eyes were wide in fear.

"I saw a fin. And the head. I think teeth, too. I don't really know." She began crying, but James stepped forward and hugged his daughter.

"Don't cry, don't cry. You did great, you spotted that shark and screamed instead of thinking you imagined it, good job. But, kids," he looked at all of them seriously," you guys shouldn't go out to far. You're not strong enough yet for those waves and maybe next time we won't be able to reach you in time. So, please be careful, okay?" All the kids nodded their eyes wide and serious. I looked at James and Carlos, and then stopped on Logan.

"Well, I think that's enough beach for this weekend. Come on, guys, let's go back inside." I led my children towards the house, linking my hand with Logan's as we headed towards our beach house. I turned at the last moment, and felt a little icy chill run down my back when I saw a shark pop up a bit from the water and snatch a low flying seagull.

It wasn't a Great White, but it scared me nonetheless. I hurried everyone further away from the shore.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

We all lived in the same house now; it was large, with more than enough bedrooms. My two boys shared a room, Veronica and Abigail each had their own room, Drake had his own, and then Carlos, James, Logan and I each had a separate bedroom. Originally, the house was two houses put together under three levels, but we renovated it into this now. It had a wraparound porch and back deck, plus a small garden for the girls, a dirt and sandbox area for the boys. On days when it was too cold for the beach, they would play in the garden. We had a large kitchen with an island in the middle, and then a large dining room and a living room thrice the size of the one at the Palm Woods. It had several full baths and one extra guest bedroom, plus a two car garage.

It was perfect.

After I wrapped up Abigail's feet, we all grilled burgers and hot dogs and brought them outside to the picnic table we had on the deck. I was carrying out the condiments when I almost was knocked off my feet by two running boys. They hopped off the deck into the garden and I rolled my eyes at the rambunctious duo.

"Boys! It's getting dark out; you two still need baths and dinner! Come out of the garden, now!" I said. The boys climbed the steps quickly and sat down, laughing and not settling down. I sighed and then frowned as they began poking their sister.

"Boys, clam down." They stopped and looked at me, still giggling, but obviously had intended to annoy their sister.

"Listen to your dad, boys. It's late and you need to start calming down." Logan warned.

"But there's so much time left before bed!" Kaleb cried. I rolled my eyes and looked at James for help at the other end of the table. He chuckled and looked at the two boys as seriously as possible.

"Calm down or I will be styling your hair tomorrow with the girls." The boys looked terrified and sat still, fidgeting every now and then.

"Thanks, James." He waved me off, and it sent Carlos into some laughter. I smiled at my family and looked to Logan as he finished up the final burgers on the grill and brought them to the table. He smiled at me and finally sat down to begin eating.

**Logan's POV**

After two hours of watching the girls joke and play with their food, we were all worn out and tired. James and Carlos offered to put the food away while we go put all the kids to bed. I lifted my daughter slowly, as she had been dozing with her head next to her plate that had traces of burger, fry, mustard and macaroni on it. I carried her and one of the boys upstairs, Kendall carrying the other. I don't remember which one I had.

I started a warm bath for them and handed Kendall my son before I tugged my sleeping daughter's murky clothes off and put her in the bath. I held her as she mumbled and I cleaned her quickly before I dried her off and redressed her in her pajamas. I turned to Kendall, who had been sitting on the floor holding our snoozing sons while I washed Abigail.

"_Take her, I'll wash them."_ I mouthed to Kendall. He nodded and passed me my sons, who lolled their heads around. I laughed at my children as I passed my daughter off to Kendall.

"'night, Dada…" She mumbled in her sleep, making me smile. I leaned close and pecked her forehead before Kendall went to put her in bed. I washed my sons quickly, even though it wouldn't have mattered if I did it slow or not. My children had gotten Kendall's "dead-to-the-world" sleeping trait, so no worries about waking them up. I dried my sons and dressed them, before I lugged them onto my shoulders and carried them to their room. I checked before I placed Lucas in his bed and Kaleb in his, pecking them both goodnight on the forehead.

Lucas smiled and rolled away, while Kaleb tensed up before he relaxed again. I chuckled and turned on their nightlight before leaving the room. Carlos and James were still cleaning up probably, so I went and checked on their kids. I knocked on the door before entering Veronica's room. We decided that since she was a growing young lady, she needed her privacy and gave her, her own room. She was lying on her bed, lamp on, damp combed hair and book open as she read it.

"Hey, just checking on you to make sure you took a shower."

"Thanks, Uncle Logan." She smiled at me and I smiled back at her. To see the little girl becoming into a beautiful young woman was heartwarming to me, but also saddened me. Soon, the little girl I helped care for would be off to college.

I smiled, though, and pecked her forehead.

"Your papi and your dad will be up here in a bit to kiss you goodnight, so sleep tight sweetie."

"You, too, Uncle Logan. Te amo, tio Logan." I looked at her and smiled.

"I love you, too, Ronny."

I closed the door and ventured across the hall to Nate's room. I checked on him and was surprised to see the child sleeping. Out of all the children, he was usually the last one asleep. I smiled to myself anyway and crept in to kiss him goodnight before I left and checked on Drake, who was also sleeping. I kissed him goodnight also and left just as Carlos came waddling up the stairs, James behind him. I watched them as they did the exact same thing I did, kissing all of the kid's goodnight, before I ventured into my own bedroom, where I grabbed a shower before crawling into bed. I laid there for a few moments when I felt a hot breath on my neck. Kendall peppered kisses up and down my neck, and I felt his hands traveling.

"You can't wait until Carlos and James are asleep?" I chuckled. I rolled over and captured Kendall's lips.

"No." he moaned, before we tangled our legs in a certain way and began to grind against each other. Our hips grinded, thrusted together and I could feel his manhood becoming harder against my own, before I finally flipped us over and climbed on top of him, grinding harder. Kendall squealed and then covered his mouth. I leaned over and removed his hands as I began licking and suckling at his neck, before biting harshly and making him cry out and grip my hair in pleasure. I placed my hands on his naked chest and then nibbled and licked my way down. I stopped at one nipple and began sucking it, making Kendall writhe in pleasure. As soon as one became erected, I did the same to his other one and continued down; licking down his happy trail and making him buck up as I got closer to his area of need.

"L-Logan- please- need-"he whimpered and panted, but he couldn't get the words out. I knew what he wanted- I wanted it, too. This wasn't a time for foreplay. I shed ourselves of our clothes and grabbed the lube from under the mattress. I squirted some on my fingers and circled Kendall's puckered entrance, before I slathered my own aching manhood in it. I tossed the bottle away and push it inside him, making him whimper with every inch. I paused for a minute to let him adjust since we hadn't done this in a while.

He panted and groaned, bringing his gorgeous lean legs up to wrap around my middle. He began thrusting down onto my erection in a sign to tell me to go. I began thrusting without another thought, relishing in my husband's beautiful body, his tight entrance, his gorgeous smell. _Just everything that was __**him.**_

I sped up and went faster and faster, pounding Kendall into the mattress. He covered his mouth to prevent his screams from escaping as sobs and moans of pleasure had already been spilled, but he began arching his back and writhing, and I saw it in the way he scrunched his eyes shut in pleasure, twisting his face and sweating, his toes curled and tears of pleasure ran down his face. He arched his back, gripped the sheets, and let out a joy filled scream as he orgasmed, crying out my name.

"_Logan!"_ He screamed. I felt him tighten round me, and the bubbling in my stomach led me to pound harder and harder, thrusting in and out, he tightened and I orgasmed myself, screaming and thrusting my way through it. Once our love-making had finished, I pulled out and laid beside him, dragging his weak body to mine. I peppered his hot, panting body with kisses and ran my fingers everywhere.

"Beautiful." ~kiss~ "So beautiful." ~kiss~ "Love you, so much, Kendall, so much. Only you, only you." I panted between kisses. Kendall smiled at me and we laid there for a few minutes before I carried him to take a second shower and get in bed. Kendall laid there, breathing slowly in his sleep, and I molded my body to match the way he slept, so I was curled around him. I kissed his neck and wrapped my fingers around him.

"_I will never let you go."_ I whispered into his ear. I watched him smile in his sleep, and then I ventured into the land of dreams as well.

**James's POV**

After I kissed all the kids goodnight, Carlos pulled me into our own bedroom. I admired his beautiful, pregnant body as he slowly stripped for me while I sat on the end of the bed. I reached out and grasped his beautiful tan skin, wanting to do nothing more than kiss every inch of it as he stood in front of me, bearing a half-erection in his boxers.

"You must think I'm hideous and fat." He whispered, not meeting my gaze. I chuckled and began kissing his belly, leaving behind love marks as I continued down his firm uterus. He moaned and I watched his eyes squeeze shut as I continued further, craning my neck to reach under his belly. I teased the head of his erection and then sat back up. I grabbed his swollen hips and pulled him into my lap slowly, craving the touch and taste of my own husband. I pressed my lips to his, before I licked a line across his lower lip. He moaned gently, gripping my hair as he granted me access to his mouth. I ravaged his warm cavern with my tongue, before I pulled out and trailed my tongue down his body. Carlos groaned and writhed, well as much as his body would allow him too, before I hoisted his legs up and disappeared from his view. He gripped my hair and I knew he had his eyes squeezed shut, head tossed back in pleasure as I began to prepare him with my tongue and fingers.

Soon enough, Carlos was lying there, gripping my hair as he panted and begged.

"P-please-put it in-please- Jamie" He panted out of pleasure. I smiled and lifted myself up to look at him. Tan skin was dripping in sweat, a tiny bit of drool had escaped his mouth and was nod dribbling down the side of his bottom lip as he panted. His raven hair was plastered to his forehead. I ran my hands over his belly and kissed it, pressing my cheek to his beautiful belly, I felt my child kicking. I smiled and leaned up, guiding myself to his hole and pushing it in.

I gripped the headboard and rocked our bodies, having Carlos grip my arms as I thrusted in and out of his tight hole. Even after so many times, he was still unbearably tight.

All too soon, it felt like, we both orgasmed and finished our session of love-making for the night. I lay there, wrapping my arms around my pregnant husband as he slept. I curled myself into his warm body, before I laughed to myself when I heard the moans and cries from the bedroom next to ours. I kissed Carlos gently in his sleep.

"I love you, so much more than you know." I whispered into his warm skin.

**Kendall's POV**

Two months, and exactly three days later, Carlos went in labor at four am.

I heard James and him hurrying around, packing a small suitcase for Carlos and the baby. I groggily climbed out of bed, removing Logan's arm gently from mine and laying it back down before I ventured into their room, to find Carlos panting gently.

What they say about pregnancy isn't true, even after a few kids, it still hurts like hell. I turned to see James tossing things haphazardly into a bag, his eyes wide in panic. Carlos usually never went into labor so early, or so unexpectedly. He wasn't due for about another two weeks.

"Carlos is in labor, and I need to pack up. Can you help me and then help get him downstairs?" James said in a hushed tone. I nodded, but then Logan brushed past me gently and looked at James.

"Here, come take the things with me to the car, then I'll help with Carlos." James nodded and they both hurried and packed up, jogging down stairs to the garage. I sat by Carlos and let him hold my hand as he groaned in pain.

"The contractions…aren't…the only thing. Kendall, my water has already broken… I need to get there quickly." He panted gently as he held his belly. I nodded and kissed his sweaty forehead just as Logan came back in with James.

"Here, we'll take him to the hospital. Kendall, stay with the kids, okay?" Logan said quietly. I nodded in agreement and watched as James and Logan helped Carlos to his feet slowly and began making the descent down the stairs.

"We'll call you when we're at the hospital." James said over his shoulder, before they disappeared from sight. I turned to the window and watched them pull out and leave, just as the sun started to peek across the sky, casting a faint pink hue in the clouds.

Small footsteps sounded and I turned to see Abigail and Veronica coming down the hall. Abigail clutched a fluffy, white stuffed rabbit and her other hand was connected to Veronica's.

"Tio Kendall, what is happening?" She whispered her voice urgent. She used her Spanish like this in desperate times, and I could tell she was scared. I knelt beside my daughter and niece and gave them a smile.

"Your papi is having the baby, so he had to leave with your dad and Uncle Logan to the hospital. He'll be fine, okay? Come on, lets' go back to bed. "I stood and picked up Abby, but Veronica shook her head and tugged on my arm.

"I don't want to! I want my papi!" She cried, very loudly. I could see she was scared. The boys began waking up and I heard them open the doors to their rooms. Kaleb and Lucas peeked out from behind their doors while Nate came out, in baggy pajamas that I had to stifle a chuckle at. Drake looked at me in puzzlement.

"What's happening?" he whispered. Nate rubbed his eyes and I watched my own boys come out of their room, clad in the same pajamas, sadly, as my own daughter. They all sort of matched most of their clothes, so I was seeing triple in the dark. I laughed and looked at all the kids.

"Nate and Drake, your papi needed to go to the hospital to have his baby, okay? Your dad and Uncle Logan went with him."

"The baby is an early bird?" Nate looked confused. I laughed.

"No, the baby just decided your dads belly was getting cramped and wanted some leg room. Come on, let's all go downstairs. I'll make you guys some breakfast and you can watch TV."

"But today is a school day!" Kaleb cried. Lucas nudged him and he shut up. I laughed, once more, at the side of Logan coming out in my children.

"No, today can be 'Lets-wait-for-the-baby-to-come-home' day! No school on that holiday!" I said. All the children cried out in happiness, after a few moments of sadness in my children they joined in. I laughed and swung the connected hand with Veronica's as I led the troop downstairs, where I tossed my little girl onto the couch gently and tickled her. She screamed and her brothers came to avenger her, jumping on my back.

"Oh, boys! How could you betray me like this?! RAWR!" I tackled them and tickled them, before I glanced over to see the other kids sitting quietly, flicking through channels to watch. I leaned close and whispered in my children's ears, watching grins appear on their faces.

"Attack!" Lucas cried and we all tackled them to the floor. Nate squealed and Drake tried to pull away, but Veronica lied there and laughed as my boys tickled her like crazy. I laughed at the sight, and stood, leaving them to their own defenses as I went into the kitchen to start breakfast.

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

After several heaping's of bacon, eggs, sausage and toast, and a few shows, the kids had all fallen asleep in a big pile on the couch, a large white comforter tossed over them as they napped.

I laughed and crept in to turn off the TV and pick up their plates and put them into the kitchen sink. I was starting to feel the effects of waking up so early, so I went into the kitchen to make myself a cup of coffee, before I sat down to read a magazine for a bit. Everything was quiet and calm over here, but I was still anxious to hear about Carlos and the baby.

I must've dozed off, because my eyes snapped open to the sound of my phone vibrating on the counter. I snatched it up and answered in a hurry.

"James?"

"_It's Logan; he's with Carlos right now. Hey, go ahead and bring all the kids to the hospital, the doctor says Carlos will be ready to push in about three hours, and James wants the kids to meet the baby when she gets here."_

I smiled and nodded, before I remember he couldn't see me.

"Okay, can do. See you soon. Love you."

"_Love you, too."_

The call ended and I hurried into the living room to wake the kids up and get them showered and dressed.

**XXXXXXXXXTHEHOSPITALXXXXXXXX XX**

It took about an hour and a half to get all the kids in a five minute shower, even against protests from my younger ones of wanting baths, and get them dressed. My triplets all wore the same unisex clothing that consisted of a pair of black children's skinny jeans, the same plain white t-shirt, a pair of black and white vans, and then a yellow and black plaid shirt.

They all stood beside each other and I chuckled at them. They liked to mess me up with this, but I figured them out easily. I took a little bow and pinned it in Abigail's hair, making her pout at her attempt to blend in with the boys and confuse me.

"Maybe next time, sweetie." I kissed her head and pushed them out the door as Nate, Drake and Veronica all followed me. Veronica wore her long black hair in pigtails, along with a set of blue leggings, black boots, and a gray dress with blue trimming. The boys had on simply jeans, hoodies, and each had on a graphic tee along with converse.

"Alrighty then, pile in kids!" Drake and Nate instantly began to shove and fight over the passenger seat, but I watched in amusement as Veronica skipped past them and climbed in. The boys hung their heads and climbed into the second row, as my triplets took up the third row of seats.

"Come on, boys, brighten up and give us a smile, you're going to finally meet your new sibling." I watched Nate smile a bit and turn to Drake.

"hey, maybe it's another boy! We could teach him how to play the drums and start a band!" I chuckled. The boys had a dream of being like their dads and making a band. I was already teaching all the kids guitar, because they all asked. James and Carlos were helping with teaching them singing and playing the piano, while Logan was the encouraging dad out of all of us and was teaching how to cook.

I chuckled at the thought of the first time Logan tried to teach the kids, all of them being crowded around him as he showed them how to crack an egg, and then later, tried to make a crepe. Oh, the mess was terrible. By the end of the night, Logan was the only one out of all of them who made a simple crepe.

Lucas had a mask of powdered sugar; Nate had an egg, still raw, in his hair. Veronicas crepe tasted terrible, and just the smell of Drake's was enough to make someone cringe. Kaleb's was just awful; I wouldn't have fed it to a starving dog. Poor Abigail was in tears because it didn't smell bad didn't look bad, until you ate it. She mixed the sugar with salt by accident.

I laughed to myself as I pulled into the hospital parking lot and climbed out, making sure all of the kids followed. Nate, Drake and Veronica were still arguing about the baby's gender, though.

"I hope it's a girl, so that I can have someone to practice makeup with me!" Veronica squealed. I watched as Abigail's face fell.

"I thought I could do that with you…" She whispered, and then sniffled. Veronica saw her mistake and hugged Abby.

"Of course! You, me and the new little girl!"

"Aw, phooey! Girls are gross!" Kaleb cried, Lucas agreeing by sticking his tongue out at Veronica. I laughed and pinched his tongue, making him cry and place a hand over his mouth.

"Stick your tongue out again and I'll have the doctors remove it, got it?" he nodded quickly and I laughed, picking Abigail up and holding her against my hip as I held hands with Kaleb and led the troop of kids inside.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

I regret bringing the kids to the hospital.

I really do. The kids ran around after sitting still for ten minutes and waiting. They were all so bored. They darted around, flipping through magazines in a corner before tossing them aside. They bugged the nurses walking past, asking about Carlos, only to be ignored, which just made them angrier, and I sighed when I was called up to the receptionists desk. Kaleb, Lucas, Abigail and Veronica were bothering the receptionist working there.

"Sir are these your kids?" she sighed angrily, giving me a cold look. I raised my eyebrow at her and she backed off a little.

"Yes, but their not to blame, this one," I patted Veronicas head," Is worried about her dad. We're just waiting for news on him." She rolled her eyes.

"Look, I have work to do, and their disrupting me. Please, escort them elsewhere." I nodded and pulled the kids to a couch.

"Sit." I ordered. They all plopped down and twiddled their fingers, shaking their legs.

"Calm down, okay? Watch TV or read a magazine." Veronica groaned.

"But there are only weird news guys on TV!"

"And nothing fun in magazines!" Lucas protested. Abigail stayed quiet and I watched her glance around every now and then. I eyed her and knelt beside her. She looked away, and I realized she was hiding something.

"Abigail, what is it?" I was an idiot, because at that moment, I noticed Nate and Drake were gone. I stood quickly and gripped my hair angrily when I didn't see them in the waiting room.

"_Shit, shit, shit, shit!" _ I hissed to myself, feeling anxious. Where were they?!

I suddenly saw a security guard appear from around a corner, Nate and Drake's hoodies gripped in his fists as he dragged the two boys out into the waiting room. I dashed forward angrily and eyed them.

"Where were you two!?" Drake sighed and looked at Nate for the almost 10-year old to explain.

"We wanted our papi to have a boy…so we went to find the baby ward and pay a nurse to give us a baby brother." I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration. I felt bad for having to tell off two innocent little boys.

"That's-"

"That's not the way it works, Drake. Come on, you're smarter than that. "I turned and smiled to see Steve and Dak behind me.

"Oh, good, Drake your dad can handle you." I laughed. Drake hung his head as dak pulled him away to explain about his new sibling to him and I made Nate sit with the other kids.

"Thank god, you guys came soon. I was about to lose it." I laughed with Steve. Steve and Dak had gotten married two years after I had the triplets, and had decided to move into 2J, so we could visit and have fun in our old apartment, loaded with tons of memories.

"Well, James called us about an hour ago, so we rushed over here. How ya holding up?" he asked while we shared a brief hug. Dak and Drake came over soon enough and Drake sat down with the kids.

"Good, good. Hey, Dak, how are you, man?"

"Nice to see you too, Blondie. We're doing fine." He smiled and laced his fingers with Steve's.

"Anything new happening?" Steve and Dak looked at each other and Steve blushed.

"We…we were discussing and thinking about adopting a baby." Dak said quietly. He smiled at me. I beamed and hugged them.

"I love Drake, I really do, but I just feel like I _need_ another child, ya know?" Dak said quietly.

"Well, I'm glad you guys are." Steve laughed and looked at Dak.

"Well, we're not sure just yet. We might adopt, or get a surrogate, we haven't decided."

"Then we talked more and decided we need to take it a bit slow…"

"Soooo, we're adopting a puppy first." I beamed at them and chuckled, making them laugh.

"Oh, wow, we are sooo gay." Dak busted out laughing and Steve followed after. I laughed with them as we caught up with each other.

**XXXX**

There still wasn't anything news on Carlos after another three hours. I felt bad because we had wasted Steve and Dak's time earlier and they had to leave and head back to work after one and a half.

I was stuck with the kids the rest of the time, so I politely asked the nurse to change the channel for the kids on the TV, since no one else was watching. But after several SpongeBob episodes, they quickly became bored. They got more fidgety and the boys started protesting, yelling that they were hungry. The girls started in a bit afterwards, and it finally convinced me to run to the vending machines and buy them some sodas, chips and candy to snack on.

After that, they all finally laid down, lying on each other or curling into one another and napped. I sighed as I picked up all their trash, eating and nitpicking through their unfinished candies and chips. I was getting bored also and wondered if by any chance I could lie down and take a nap with the kids when I saw a familiar copper-haired friend walk around the corner. He was dressed in scrubs as he ran towards me, and I stood quickly and he picked me up and hugged me tightly.

"James!" I cried. He beamed and set me down, grabbing my hands and shaking them happily.

"She's seven pounds, five ounces, coppery hair, brown eyes. She's beautiful, Kendall, she's beautiful." I smiled at him and hugged him again.

James let go of me and darted over to the kids, shaking them to wake them up. He hurriedly told them about their new sister and then grabbed his daughter and sons hands as he began leading us to Carlos. I chuckled and shook my kids awake to follow him a few minutes later.

I knocked on the door to Carlos's room and James motioned for us to come in, which we did. I pushed my kids in and hurried to Carlos's bedside. He looked tired, sweaty, and all around exhausted, but happy. I smiled at him and then looked at Logan, casting him a brief smile, before I turned back to Carlos and moved the blanket away from his babies face.

"Kids, meet Rosemarie Angela Diamond." I watched Drake's eyes go wide, then Nate's. Veronica made a face that told me she was thinking, "Aww" at the sight of her little sister. I held Abigail's hand as she came close and set her head on Carlos's shoulder, looking at the small baby.

"She's pretty." She looked at Logan and me.

"Was _I_ a pretty baby?" I smiled and pulled my sons close.

"You all were very beautiful babies, I promise."

"I fell in love with you guys at first sight." Logan said as he wrapped us up in his arms. I watched Drake and Nate as they were still quiet, and then Nate leaned over the same time as Drake did. Nate slipped his finger into Rosemarie's little fist, her fingers curling around his big one. His eyes grew wider and Drake leaned over to press a kiss to her forehead.

"I will be the best big brother ever."

"Me too! Me too!" Nate cried, wanting not to be left out. Carlos smiled, his eyes drifting shut every now and then. James gripped his son's shoulder and squeezed Drake's, smiling down at the two boys.

"You guys will be, I know it."

I had an overwhelming sense of crying at that moment. In happiness, though. I smiled and held Logan's hand, kissing it gently when I was hit with the reality that our family was now complete. Carlos and James had said, after this baby, there wouldn't be any more kids.

We were complete, finished and our future was almost entirely set out for us. But, who knows? Maybe things could change, but here and now, our lives were complete. None of us may have liked the way our paths started, but the end of the road was filled with nothing but joy, love, and hope for us, and was only going to get better, I just knew it.

_**The End**_


End file.
